Crazy Random Happenstance

Sorry if I gave you the impression I know what I'm doing

[krinkshaming-deactivated2017021]

[larryshorcrux]

“He pulled Harry’s wand from his pocket and began to trace it through the air, writing three shimmering words:

tom marvolo riddle

Then he waved the wand once, and the letters of his name rearranged themselves:

Mr. Tom, a Dildo Lover

“wait, shit, no,” said Riddle. “

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[fedkaczynski]

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

[allamericankindofguy-actual]

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

[fedkaczynski]

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Did he survive?

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

[doctor-roman]

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

[misteryada]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

[kassasaurus-rex]

in tonight’s edition of very specific kinds of people i can’t fucking stand:

 men who drive fucking gigantic shiny pickups that they obviously just have as ego-boosters who fucking tailgate you on an empty stretch of freeway at night and they’ve replaced their headlights with fucking military-grade 500 proton scatter billion lumen searchlights that they fucking utterly blind you with while honking for you to get out of your lane because they just desperately have to go a full 40 miles over the speed limit or their dick will just jump clean off their balls and hurl itself out their window in shame

[hanatsuki89]

I’m calling myself out with this one, cause I always, always request for more Iggy shots.

[cheese24k]

[modmad]

We interrupt your usual schedule to bring you a very small pig descending a set of stairs.

[bugtears-deactivated20150413]

HE JUMPS RIGHT INTO IT AND MAKES LITTEL SOUNDS N0

[vladtheimpalainvalhalla]

Constant state of oink

[thisheavybody]

IT’S WORTH THE WAIT 😌

[callmebliss]

ITS NAME IS

HAMLET

[memecage]

o no what is this

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

facts

[explainervideo]

What happens to cats in zero gravity ?   more educational gifs«

[voidbat]

OH GOD THOSE POOR BABIES i am sobbing i am laughing so hard

[moonlightandmarble]

In the last pic the cat is all “oh thank god I found ground NO WAIT COME BACK GROUND”

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

THOSE POOR BABIES OMG WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THIS

[sharkpilot]

Astronaut: We need to fund 1.4 billion dollars. NASA: FOR WHAT?! Astronaut: We want to put kitties in space and have them float around in zero gravity. NASA: Here is all the money. God bless.

[cyanhyena]

Those cats are just ?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!

[thecybersmith]

Cat: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

NASA: fascinating…

[jamesrhodey]

[15/?] (insp.)

[malcolmcooks]

imagine if instead of calling voldemort “you know who”, they had done the benedict cumberbatch thing, so they would speak in hushed whispers about lollipop vladimir or lanky vanderbilt

[sherpawhale]

lackadoodle vaudeville

[bigmammallama5]

lumpy voodersnitch

[elpiething]

Loud Vulgarwort

[weezley]

lanky volcanoman

[knightfrog1248-blog-deactivated]

lollollollol vrollollollollol

[deezoheezo]

Lenedict Vumberbatch

[cityelf]

I invite my closest friends and family to a gender reveal party, but when I open the box with maniacal flourish instead of pink or blue balloons, a television screen is revealed.

I dim the lights remotely as we hear Cate Blanchett say, “The world is changed. I feel it in the water.”

Too late, they realise.

The pregnancy? A scam.

The Lord of the Rings editions? Extended.

The doors? Locked.

[louisvuittontrashbags]

@xnoctits is this you

[shencomix]

[catchymemes]

[humorteliblee]

[ourstrangeduet]

me at 14: I cant wait till im in college I have so many plans for life and nothing can stop me :)

Me now: Mm. Me hungey. Me eat macdonal. French frie. Frenchffrie. French frie.

[petite-madame]

Infinity War: The ones we leave behind - 2018

My series of 10 artworks devoted to Infinity War. Note: The empty room is Wanda’s. You can see it in Civil War.

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

i don’t post. i secrete.

[windowz97]

Good secretion op

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]