What's a turt gotta do for some grub

I'm Jess a three-toed box turtle who was formerly abused and neglected but I've been taken in by a caring girl and given another chance I'm on the road to recovery. Right now I'm sick I have a Calcium deficency, fungal infection and I'm underweight for now anyways. I love corn and being outside. I know 3 tricks already how to stay, beg, and pose for photos. My hatch day is unknown we assume I'm 9 years old already my adoption day is May 29th.

[hissykisses]

her snoot rub is already looking loads better!

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

Mom tried to pet shame me so I ran away! I turtie's gotta go when a turtie's gotta go I have no time for your going outside nonsense!

[tortoise-adventures]

A friend breeds tortoises and a potential new owner she was checking out has this on her profile. 'I dont do animals’ Well I got news for you love, tortoises aint fucking plants! 

A friggin tortoise lives for over 100 years, can be expensive to keep and have very specific needs. They are a pet you need to really have a passion for. Contrary to popular belief kids cannot care for animals alone. They need supervision, help and there is a great likelihood that they’ll get bored and that animal will depend on you alone. You need to be prepared to care for that animal alone and love it!  Hell if you don’t want a pet, get them a fucking tamagotchi or tell them no.

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

This was how I looked when my mom first got me my nails and beak were overgrown walking you could hear my nails scratch the floor my skin looked chalky my shell was dull in color I was kept in the dark day and night I was under fed I was thrown about by a two year old baby I was attacked by a dog I have trust issues now with both furbeasts and mommy I look better now but I'm scared of human and furbeasts alike

[prrrk03]

[turtlefeed-blog]

I guess he did have a good day.

[tortoise-adventures]

If your human runs out of your favourite snack, eat their hands! 

[deathcultforsanta]

And this face says Morla is the villain, and is planning to eat Kinley. Seriously, that is an evil face.

[tort-time]

bwahahaha Yep, that’s totally an evil “I’m about to bite your butt furry friend!” face. Heeee. 

[thewhimsyturtle]

brianna-leethehomosextru submitted to thewhimsyturtle:

Jess would like to say thank you for all the get well wishes! Stay comfy turtle friends Jess sure will she loves being comfy

Hello again, beautiful Jess! You are a smart shell: You know what you want and you aren’t afraid to go for it! We hope you’re getting comfier by the day as you get better!

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

Queen of the comf!

[thewhimsyturtle]

brianna-leethehomosextru submitted to thewhimsyturtle:

Jess would also like to show everyone how she poses! She likes to look cheery in her photos. I tried to tell her that her hidey hut is a treat hut for hamsters and gerbils but she won’t listen she likes her little window too much.

Aww, look at that smile! Hidey hut windows are the best! You can stay snug in bed and still keep an eye out for noms—win on all fronts! I used to have a hidey hut with a window, too, but I don’t fit inside anymore. Maybe Mommy will get me a new one like yours!

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

A close up of my profile photo!

[thewhimsyturtle]

noahthekestrel submitted to thewhimsyturtle:

Hey Kirby, this is A'Tuin the small, who is not particularly impressed with his new dad’s attempts to capture his beauty in digital. Some people say he’s a red eared slider, some say painted, but what matters is that he’s happy right? Do you have any suggestions for helping him adjust to his new home?

Hello, friend A'Tuin! You are such a cutie patootie! Look at your wee toes and that beautiful shell! You may not realize it yet, but you’re going to be a huge star in your new home in no time!

We’re sure your new dad has made you a wonderful comfy tank to live in with everything you need. (We think you look more like a slider, but you’re right, who cares! Those two species have basically the same care, so as long as you’re happy!) You probably still think he’s scary since he’s so much bigger than you, but you’ll realize over time that he is the source of your noms and maybe even cuddles! We recommend your dad not handle you much for the first few weeks, and instead just get you used to him feeding you and watching you. Slow and steady is the turtle way! Having a set routine and talking to you in happy tones will also help you feel safe faster. Once you stop running away every time your dad comes over, he can try feeding you by hand, and from there maybe you’ll even be okay with him picking you up! That last step will take awhile because as a turtle, you’re naturally shyer outside of water than landlubbers like me. But with lots of patience and love, your dad is going to become your favorite human ever!

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

I love to react titanic except I didn't have Leo to hold me up so so I had to improvise

[amazingtotrtiebros]

Say what you want about torties, but they just have the cutest of tounges @tort-time @wafflesworld @thewhimsyturtle

[thewhimsyturtle]

Truth! As adorable April demonstrates here, we torties have the cutest tongues ever!

Fun fact: Did you know turtles that spend most of their time in water (like Lunchbox did) physically can’t stick out their tongues? In fact, turtles have immovable tongues and don’t even have saliva! So they have to be in water to be able to swallow properly!

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

Unless they're a land turtle I stick my tongue out a lot when I'm preparing to eat my meals!

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

I'm really good at getting comfy I love kicking my little feet up although my ma likes to poke them because they're cute

[turtiegrumbles-blog]

Walking around the yard in the sun was so tiring as soon as I was put back in my tub I fell asleep!