[wizard0rb]

steps out of the shower completely dry after parrying every drop of water with my bathroom greatsword

[typebeanie]

Okay so imagine you’re the teenage daughter of the town lord and you have a crush on the doctor’s son but you know you can’t really marry him because he’s a commoner so you try and convince him to go war so that he can earn rank and come back to marry you but he decides he wants to be a doctor like his dad instead so the two of you drift apart but then a while later your dad dies and so the town gets a new lord and you’re engaged to the new lord’s son until he dies but then the new lord decides you’ll be engaged to him instead even though he’s like old enough to be your dad and then he forcibly sends your childhood crush’s little brother into the army to die but your childhood crush decides to go with his brother and then you haven’t thought about your childhood crush for like eight years when out of the blue he shows up after a freak storm destroys your town and you learn that he’s become Superman and is friends with the royal family. POV you’re Laral from the Stormlight Archive. 

[phantomrose96]

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

[phantomrose96]

characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)

fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

[phantomrose96]

[medievalspecs]

[memorilore]

[epilepticfox]

Odysseus: Thank you for the concern, but brother, I can assure you Our journey is almost done.

Song 11 of 40

[beemovieerotica]

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

[beemovieerotica]

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

[moshroom]

he had to jump in the ballpit to cool off after getting all airplane ears over a treat puzzle that proved a little too advanced

[moshroom]

he's done this a few times now. the ball pit actively soothes him when he gets mad over puzzles. i could learn something from this

[moshroom]

[demonius-darkblade]

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

[clayboy2000-deactivated20210427]

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

[violencevoyager-deactivated2022]

bugs bunny is not real 

[zvaigzdelasas]

[xylophonicsynapse]

[marsixm]

mafia goon in the 1940’s who just started transitioning:

[suppermariobroth]

Officially licensed 2026 Luma bath bombs from a Nintendo/Lush collaboration for the Super Mario Galaxy Movie.

Notably, while the eyes of the Luma are fully modeled to be bulging out of the main mass of the product (identical to the in-game and movie model), the black coloration is only applied to the middle of the eye area due to limitations of the manufacturing process. This results in the Luma appearing to have swollen or puffy eyes.

Main Blog | Patreon | Twitter | Bluesky | Small Findings | Source: ChickenDog64

[hotvampireadjacent]

[smarties-03]

ITSY. ITSY BITSY. SPIDER. THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER. ITSY

[pallettown]

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

[pallettown]

Hey everyone how's it going

[miraclemaya]

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

[witchofanguish]

*adds a certain je ne sais quoi

[miraclemaya]

see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

*c'est la vie

[miraclemaya]

god damn it

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*sacrebleu

[virgo-disaster]

The bird app has a lot of garbage but this thread really tickled me this morning:

Bonus:

[transbb]

when i was in therapy i once expressed to my therapist that i really struggle with having pretty much zero idea of who i am as a person + she whipped out a piece of paper and suggested that we write down different aspects of myself. and i had no idea what to say bc ‘myself’ is a concept i’m not very familiar with so she started saying about my interests and how that’s part of me + i was like okay!! that makes sense!! so she clicked her pen and was like “you said you like video games before” and i was like sure bud :) and watched her write down, in capital letters ‘GAMER’ and i’ve never had so much terror struck into my h

[ratparkprince]

[thebirdroads]

the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”

[birdnerd18]

[dr-algernop-deactivated20220313]

[mandywondering]

[warcrimesimulator]

[waknatious]

[motziedapul]

Not enough people are understanding the funniest part of this. Everyone's making colour theory jokes but the dad is colour blind. The most common colour blindness is red green colour blindness. It's the one where red and green look relatively the same shade of brown.

Everyone's talking about the blood carpet. Dad is seeing a carpet absolutely blasted with shit.

[lazylittledragon]

jinx recovery era you're so special to me

[pt 1][pt 2][pt 3][pt 4][pt 5][pt 6][pt 7][pt 8][pt 9][pt 10]

[judeshotto]

they are running around in my mind as we speak