How do I tell the difference between aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction when it's less obvious? If I see a person and think, "wow they're pretty. I think kissing them would feel nice" and if I wish for a partner with those looks, but I forget about that person almost instantly when they're out of sight, what attraction would be? - 🐡
Hello, dear anon! Thanks for the ask!
In all honestly I’m the least qualified person to respond to this ask, but I’ll try. The reason I say I’m not qualified is because I identify as quoiromantic, which, for me, means that I almost entirely cannot differentiate between romantic attraction and almost every other type of attraction. However, I’ve researched enough about the different types of attraction that I think I’ll be able to answer this well.
I would say that if you see a person and think “wow, they’re pretty,” then that’s aesthetic attraction. For those who don’t know, aesthetic attraction is essentially just “wow, this person is very good looking” and that’s about it. It’s just finding someone’s looks appealing.
However, in the second part of the ask, anon says, “I think kissing them would feel nice.” This, I believe, is sensual attraction. Sensual attraction is when you feel a need or an urge to be close to someone, whether that be handholding, cuddling, hugging, or even kissing. Some people don’t specifically identify their attraction as sensual, but instead break give those feelings to other types of attraction, like thinking of kissing as romantic instead, or handholding and hugging as platonic.
You asked how to tell the difference between aesthetic and romantic attraction when it’s less obvious, and there’s only really one piece of advice I would give you: when you’ve got some time on your hands, mentally classify certain feelings as different types of attraction. Maybe tell yourself “whenever I think I would enjoy kissing someone, I think of that as sensual attraction” or “whenever I find someone pretty, I know that’s aesthetic attraction.” Most people do experience the different types of attraction differently, so classify different feelings as whatever works for you, not what the weird person behind the post says.
And, dear anon, I do feel very similarly to you about a lot of people. I often find people pretty, but almost immediately forget about them once they’re out of sight. I understand the struggle :)
I hope this helped! Once again, feel free to add on in the comments or with a reblog!
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