Little Leo and Don will nose nuzzle against their caregiver when they want attention, little Raph and Mikey will headbutt against them (with increasing strength every time if they're not being acknowledged!!)
Oh, sweetheart, come here. Let me hold you for a moment.
I can see that somethingâs weighing on your little heart, and thatâs okay. You donât have to be happy all the time. You donât have to push your feelings away or pretend theyâre not there. Itâs okay to feel sad, or angry, or scared. Feelings can be big and heavy sometimes, but you donât have to carry them all on your own.
Iâm right here, love bug. No matter what youâre feeling, I will always be here. You donât have to explain, you donât have to fix anythingâyou can just be, exactly as you are. If you need to cry, I will hold you close. If you need to stomp your little feet, I will be right here to keep you safe. If you need quiet, I will sit beside you and hold your hand so you know youâre not alone.
You are so precious, just as you are, in every feeling, in every moment. Your emotions donât make you too much, and they donât make you bad. They just mean you are you, and that is the most wonderful thing in the whole world.
So take all the time you need, my angel. I will love you through every feeling, every storm, and every quiet moment in between. I will be here, always, with open arms and an open heart, ready to give you whatever you need.
You are never alone, little one. You are safe. You are cherished. And you are oh-so deeply loved.
â He tries to keep the regression light, not fall too much into the headspace to avoid being adressed or talked to while he's little.
â His blankie is a little more worn down than his binkie, but it's comforting just the same. It cant cover him anymore, but he can get under his bed covers and hug it. It's when he sleeps best.
â It happens when he's too relaxed infront of the TV with Space Heroes on without interruptions, he falls into the headspace without knowing what it really is, just how it feels.
â He doesn't make effort to speak, mostly nonverbal or it ends up coming out as mutters or toddler babbling. He tries to busy his mouth before relaxing to fall into the headspace infront lf the TV, afraid to babytalk to someone. Eating, nibbling on something. A lesson he learned when he went "Mh?" in a stupid tone when Mikey called him over to dinner while he was infront of the TV.
â As mentioned in a previous post, I think he'd have his childhood pacifier. Space themed specifically, foreshadowing of his interest.
â It's a coping mechanism he developed without his knowledge, maybe post-invasion? Or before that, when tried to sacrificed himself to keep the kraang underwater.
â He has no caregiver, he handles it on his own locked in his room or unmoving sat infront of the TV, he's very passive, he just lays or sits thoughtless, suckling.
â He found out what it was by himself, age regression popped up while he was researching on the lair laptop.
â If ever made knowing: Mikey would be the most chill about it, tries his childhood binkie to test the hype (if Leo cant resist doing it, there must have something good abt it.). Raph grimaced for a bit at it, then it's awkard acceptance, then full acceptance and even help offered. He's trying his best. Donnie has more of a dettached clinical understanding but aside of it he is really chill about it, just worried about what caused it. Also sometimes he tries to check on Leo while he's little incase he hurts himself or gets upset. They promised not to tell April, Casey or Splinter. Idk how the three would be towards it, I'm not saying they would be haters but I cant conjure up an accurate way.
â He cant fight while little obvs. Falls all over himself. He's very still, he was a calm kid, it's more about the calmness than playing and giggling. He does colour a lot tho. And "Cap'n!" (Captain Ryan, Space Heroes)
â He's prone to call out for Dad (Splinter. He has no caregiver. Also Splinter doesn't know.).
â If he is heard and questioned, pretends they're just hearing things. Or a kid on topside. Deny, deny, deny.
â Mikey found his baby gear one time (the binkie, blanket, stuffie) Leo thought quick and said he took those by accident, they caught on his bag while he was leaving the little teaparty girl.
â His brothers now believe he's still going to her tea parties (he very much is) and Raph uses that during "responsibility, busy" arguments.
â His binkie is like a stress ball, that's how he "justifies it" to himself.
Like 6 of these are centered around shame and secrecy because I gen think this is how he would handle it. He wouldn't voice his needs or ever admit he has them at all.
Exhibit A:
Dialogue of Season 1, episode 10 "Panic in the sewers" (When Splinter made them train nonstop for two days).
Leo: "Sensei, they've been training nonstop for weeks, they need a break."
Raph: "Oh, like you dont?"
Leo: "That's right, Raph. I dont."
(Tell me if I got something wrong, I swear I did research but I'm not an age regressor myself. I js like to project comfort onto my fave characters.)
Mikey would be a great caregiver for his big bros when they're small! He can come up with so many fun activities for them on the fly! He would love cuddling with them and drawing with them, watching cartoons and making yummy snack bowls and blanket forts.
He's a good emotional caregiver too. He can cheer Raphie up again after he has a fit. He can play it off chill like no big deal so Leo relaxes and doesn't feel so self-conscious about regressing. He'll listen to Donnie ramble about things he likes the way he always does anyway and help him sound out words in books if they're a little too big and frustrating for him now
it's gonna be okay, kid. sit and talk with big bro for a minute.
i know you're not feeling so good right now, bubba understands. i might not know exactly what you're dealing with, but i do know this: you've survived 100% of the scary things in your life, and you will survive this too.
it's okay to be scared, sad, anxious, angry, any and everything else. you're human. i need you to know that whatever you're feeling is valid and it won't last forever, 'kay? hmmm.. wanna know what helps bubba feel better when he's not feeling so good?
big bro has OCD and struggles with rumination (repeated distressing thoughts). what helps me is to imagine all those upsetting thoughts as someone else's food in a restaurant.. â
you know you ordered something, so you're waiting for the server to bring it to you. you see them pass by with a plate of food, but they bring it to another table. another server does the same. you know it's there, it exists around you, but it doesn't belong to you. let them pass by, take a breath, and remind yourself that you don't need to engage with every plate (or thought) that crosses your path.
another thing that helps bubba feel better is practicing gratitude. if you're comfortable, reblog this post with 3-5 things (in tags) that you're grateful for. i'll start in my own tags.
Little Raph feels so much better after taking his big feelings out on punching pillows, squeezing his stuffed animals really tight and teething toys â€ïž
Cute personal theory/headcanon for Leos In Aggregate Across The Franchise: because of, you know, The Anxiety, most Leos were either late to dropping the pacifier, thumb suckers for a good portion of toddlerhood, or both.
Aww, yeah, I could see that. I was one of those kids too if I recall correctly. Gotta cling to those little comforts while you can; change is hard. Hopefully his bros didn't make fun of him for it, they probably all had their own things as little ones
Summary: Two little turtles get to enjoy an outing with their father. Two little turtles have to stay home. But that doesnât mean they canât find new and creative ways to make their own fun!
Written for @catbowserauthor's TMNT Pure Fluff Bingo. The prompts were #23: It's the thought that counts + #18: Sun Basking.
âItâs not fair!â Griddex lamented for what felt like the bajillionth time, tossing one of the throw pillows onto the floor in protest before throwing himself onto the couch in its place next to Graviturtle. When his landing bumped Graviâs arm and made him wince, he sent a brief, apologetic glance before his face twisted back into its prior indignant glower, directed at no one in particular. No one else was there to see it, after all. âWe had to get stickedââ
âStuck,â Gravi corrected, gingerly rubbing the tender spot on his bicep where one of the humans in white coats had plastered a bandageânot even one of the colorful smiley face ones he had secretly hoped for, just plain old beige. The colorful ones were probably reserved for human kids.
âWe got our arms squeezed real tight by the blood cuffs and got put on the big scale and did the big breaths for them to listen and showed off our powers just like Blobby and Shelly but they get to go with Papa for ice cream after and we donât! Itâs not fair!â Grid repeated, pedaling his feet where they dangled off the edge of the couch to punctuate the point.
âNot just like Blobby and Shelly. You were going to bite the white coat guy when he looked in your mouth, everybody saw,â Gravi pointed out, with just a trace of their fatherâs all too familiar disapproval in his voice. For that he earned a more purposeful, grumpy nudge to his sore arm.
âYeah, well, you threw a fit when they were about to stuck ya with the shot, you big crybaby!â
âStick,â he countered with a pout, pushing Grid back with gravitational pressure so no accusations could be made that he was actually touching him.
âUgh, whatever!â he groaned, not even bothering to resist as he slid against his will toward the armrest.
âWell, thatâs why they get to go for ice cream and we donât, cause we werenât good enough. So I guess fairâs fair.â After a long, sullen silence spent rubbing his arm, wishing his skin was as thick and strong as Gridâs so he didnât have to feel it anymore, Grav added gloomily, âDoesnât make fair any fun, though.â
His brother hummed reluctant agreement, staring at the ceiling. ââŠSo what dâyou wanna do?â
ââŠI donât know. What do you want to do?â
âGo to the super secret ice cream place and get mint chocolate,â was the immediate, blunt, predictable response.
âWe canât.â
âI bet the nice guyâs workinâ who lets mutants sneak in or Papa wouldnât have taken Blob and Shelle. Man, I bet theyâre gettinâ a ton of extra sprinkles and whip cream and more than one cherry on top,â Grid mused mournfully. âHe always puts more than one cherry on mine.â
âMhmm.â
Now Graviâs mouth was watering with nothing to show for it. The thought occurred to him that they could probably leave the Shell of Justice and by the time they reached the ice cream place (optimistically assuming they would remember how to get there) Sliver would be on his way home with Shelle and Blob so their family wouldnât cross paths with them sneaking in to get their ice cream. Then again, if Sliver was already on his way home at that point, heâd come here to find them not here and then theyâd be in so much trouble, theyâd probably never have ice cream again, not even a spoonful.
With them in forever trouble, their brothers would get to go on alone outings with Papa like this all the time, getting to taste all the new flavors, probably sitting in the chairs Grav and Grid usually claimed. They were probably there right now in the little corner of the alley where the nice ice cream man had set up those battered, clunky metal chairs and a stained table for them to sit in privacy and pretend they were actual patrons like everyone else. Enjoying the stray patches of sunlight that peeked in on them, enjoying Papaâs tutting and doting as he wiped their messy faces clean and gently chided them to finish up before everything melted.
âItâs not fair,â he echoed Gridâs assessment, pushing himself up on his elbows. âWe werenât that bad. We should get ice cream too!â
âYâthink theyâll bring any back for us?â
âThey donât have to. We can make our own!â Thus decided, he leapt up, tugging on Griddexâs ankle to urge him along. Without using his powers, a tug didnât budge him an inch but he lifted his head just enough to shoot him a bewildered look.
âWhaâHow?â
âItâs all in the name, just ice and cream. Iâm pretty sure weâve got those at home, and then we add whatever toppings we want!â
âBeats sittinâ here doing nothinâ, I guessâbut you sure you know how?â
âHow hard can it be?â
Not nearly as hard as it would have been for normal kids! Grav floated their favorite purple and blue bowls down from the top shelf of the cabinet with ease, trying to project confidence in this new direction for their afternoon.
âYou grab the ice and the milk!â
Hauling the fridge and freezer open, paying little attention when the doors swung wide with a bang that would have flattened their fatherâs ears, Grid grew just tall enough to make up the distance needed to grab the milk carton from one of the top shelves and pry open the ice machine. More than a few ice cubes slipped between his fingers, raining to bounce, shatter and skid across the kitchen floor. That brought everything else to a halt as Grav took the time to meticulously track down and dispose of every scattered piece, lest they create puddles for Blob to slip in or worse, poor ShelleâŠBut he didnât want to think about that. Ice cream!
âIs milk and cream the same thing?â Grid wondered when they eventually piled the rest of the ice cubes into their bowls.
âIt probably turns into cream when the ice makes it colder,â Gravi decided, hovering at the counter for a careful but generous pour, nearly to the bowlsâ brim even with the ice taking up so much room. Grid, growing to get a better look over the countertop, grinned at the sight. It was nice to see him on board and excited. Papa never put as much milk as they wanted in their cereal, insisting everyone needed an equal share, but if their brothers werenât here, they didnât get a say or a share!
âOoh! Make mine a mint chocolate, please!â he piped up eagerly. Gravi stopped up short, wincing as a bit of milk splashed the counter.
That, he wasnât sure how to do. He knew they had some chocolate and other candy tucked away up on the very tippy top of these cabinetsâPapa wasnât as clever about his hiding places as heâd hoped; while it did keep it out of Shelle and Blobbyâs reach, it was never far from theirs for the same obvious reasons as the dishes and the milk. But where would he keep mint in here? Come to think of it, what did mint look like when it wasnât in ice cream?
Grid should have spoken up before he started pouring the milk in so they could find it and mix it in with the ice first. Gravi might have told him as much but technically he had mentioned that was the flavor he wanted before the idea to home-make it even occurred to himâŠ
Glancing tentatively down to admit his uncertainty was a mistake. Now all he could see were his brotherâs big, hopeful, expectant eyes and trusting smile as he clung to the counter, waiting for him to make mint chocolate magic. It wasnât often Grid put on such puppy eyes; he typically didnât even realize he was doing it and whenever anyone dared to point it out, he would promptly squint and scowl to make sure they didnât think he was soft. Their rarity made them all the more painfully cute and effectiveâand heâd even said please all on his own! Gravi couldnât let him down or he wouldnât trust his ideas anymore!
Mint, mintâŠIt had to be somewhere. Where else had they had mint before? âŠOh!
âGo to the pantry and see if you can find the tin with those hot chocolate packets Papa used in our cups for Christmas.â
âHot chocolate? But weâre makinâ ice cream.â
Gravi made a point to scoff and huff a light, breezy laugh like all of this was totally obvious. Heâd seen their father do that when a human thought he needed help figuring out what to do. âWeâre not gonna heat it up, silly; weâre just gonna put the packet in. Itâs got mint flavor and chocolate in it!â
âOh, yeah!â
Cans, bags and boxes crashed and clattered but eventually he returned with the tin, as well as the sugar container for extra-extra sweetness. When they were behaving their very best and asked very nicely, Papa would put an extra scoop of sugar in their hot chocolate. Since they were doing all this work for themselves so well, they deserved it!
The sugar and hot chocolate dust were decidedly lumpy and clumpy when they were dumped into their bowls but in time it would probably come together like milk always soaked into their cereal. Gravi added one more confident splash in each to top it off, used the corner of the towel he wore as a cape to mop the spill off the counter, and then all they had to do was wait.
And wait.
And, according to Grid, find the perfect spot to eat it once it was ready.
âWhy noâ just at thâ dinner table like we eat evâything?â Gravi asked through a mouthful of his cape, gnawing the damp fabric to enjoy the preemptive taste of the milk.
âThatâs no fun!â Grid protested. âOur table hereâs for everybody but Shelle and Blob got the table at the ice cream place all for themselves today! We gotta have a spot just for us too, somethinâ different!â
âHmmâŠâ
But the entire Shell of Justice was for everybody. Save for Sliverâs office, they all played in every room, explored every sneaky corner and âhiddenâ passageway until none of them were hidden anymore. There was no way they were eating in Sliverâs office and risking any ice cream on his rug. Where else did they have to go?
Gravi idly paced as he considered, reminded once again of the sunny day their brothers would be enjoying as he dipped in and out of patches of light shining in through the skylight. Watching him trail back and forth, Grid was no doubt thinking of the same, and thenâ
âWait. Papa said we had to stay at home today, right?â Upon Graviâs nod, a smirk slid across his face. âAt home. He never said we gotta stay in home.â
They had no idea how to open the skylight and take the more direct route so with their bowls and spoons secure in Gridâs hands and Grid himself tucked in Graviâs, they ducked out the back door and then floated gingerly up the side of the Shellâs slope. It was higher than Gravi preferred to think about but again, Grid was so enthusiastic he couldnât bear to burst his bubble and it was indeed somewhere they had never gone before. He simply had to tighten his already-firm hold around his brotherâs middle, keep wide eyes pinned on the scute-like paneling and pretend very, very hard that they were just going up a hill, not a whole building. He was so focused on caution, he didnât even feel his sore arm.
When they reached the top, Grav released a breath he hadnât realized he was holding; it came out as a giggle that was equal parts nervousness, defiance and triumph. His brother snickered too. They would be in so much trouble if they were caught up hereâbut they wouldnât be! As of right now this was their secret spot and no one elseâs!
The skylight was pleasantly warm underneath them when they sat, the sun even warmer overhead. They didnât have much coverage out here like they would in the alley behind the ice cream place; they ought to eat theirs before it melted.
It didnât look much like the ice cream their brothers would have gotten but like this secret spot, it was uniquely theirsâand it was made up entirely of ingredients they liked so overall it had to be good, right?
A bite. A beat.
Grid, ever so polite, opened his mouth and let the ice cubes coated in gritty, unflattering brown sludge spill down his chin and back into the bowl with a resounding splash.
Gravi would not accept such defeat, at least not yet; he painstakingly chewed the ice cubes, straining to ignore the texture of the barely combined sugar-milk slurry and just try to appreciate its sweetness. When Gridâs burst of laughter startled him into nearly choking on one of those ice cubes, however, he had to spit the remnants out.
âWorstest! Ice cream! Ever! Ever, Gravi!â
âItâIââ he stammered, floundering to find an excuse or an apology.
ââHow hard can it be? Sâjust ice and cream! Ha-ha-ha, I so totally know what Iâm doinâ!ââ Grid crowed, shrilling his voice to mimic him. As soon as he was done scrubbing his mouth off on his towel cape, wishing he could scrub the embarrassed flush off his cheeks too, Gravi glared.
âHey, it shouldâve worked, itâs not my fault it didnât!â
âYeah-huh! Youâre such a faker, bro! You dunno anything âbout anything about ice cream!â
âAnd neither do you so you canât blame it all on me!â
âYeah, but I know I dunno anything. You faked it,â he repeated, elbowing him as he sang gleefully, âGraviâs a big, fake know-it-all~! I bet Shelle would know how to do it for realââ
Frustration stung his cheeks and eyes even hotter than embarrassment, hotter than the sun. âWell, what else am I supposed to do when youâre all bored and sad and mad and whiny about ice cream and itâs the only thing thatâs gonna make you feel better?! I just wanted to cheer you up! IÂ tried!â
The wobble in his voice took them both off guard. He had to hurriedly scoot, put his back to him and hunker down into his cape before he could call him a crybaby again.
Why couldnât it all just work out so he didnât have to disappoint anybody? He was supposed to be good at things, he had to be. Why couldnât he do it right the first time?
He didnât get nearly as long as he wanted to compose himself before a finger prodded his shell for attention. Then a fist, thumping on it. Then a tug on his cape.
âGrav. Gravi. Graviiii. Câmon, donât sulk like that. Look.â
âHmph.â
âCâmon, look. Lookit me.â
Another more forceful tug nearly pulled him off balance and he bit back a yelp, catching and righting himself to send another glare, only to be caught off guard again by Gridâs face, the picture of seriousâor he would be if it werenât for the milk mustache on his beak. Grav hadnât even heard him take a slurp from his bowl to put it there.
âMâ sorry for makinâ fun of ya,â he announced very solemnly, as if nothing were amiss. âI should be sayinâ thanks. Cause you tried real hard to make it nice like you always try for everythinâ, and itâs not nice to make fun of nice things from nice people tryinâ their best, andââ
He had to pause there, sticking his tongue out sideways to catch a dribble of the milk heading toward his chin while the hot chocolate dust globs remained firmly stuck. Watching him play up his struggle to reach it, Gravi couldnât help but relent with another halfhearted giggle.
âThere, see? Cheered you up too, now weâre even.â The words themselves were upbeat enough but Gravi could sense the question underneath, Grid wondering if they were good. He nodded minutely and then sighed, rubbing his eyes before risking another look at theâŠoverconfident concoction in their bowls. Better they laugh at it than wallow back into real disappointment.
ââŠIt really is icky, huh?â he admitted in a whisper, sheepish and shy as he scooted back over.
âYeah.â Grid rubbed the back of his fist over his face and then shrugged. âBut maybe itâll be better once it melts and mixes all together.â
âMaybe.â Or maybe they didn't need it to enjoy their new spot anyway. âItâs pretty cool up here.â
âCool? Itâs probably a ninety-dozen degrees outside.â
âWhaâYou know what I mean!â
âHeheh.â
From there they lapsed into a silence that gradually became more comfortable with Grid absorbed in anything of interest he could spot in the city. Grav opted not to peer out and remind himself of the heights, instead closing his eyes and tilting his head to better take in the sunlight. His cape absorbed it too, tucked tightly around him to trap its heat like a toasty blanket just out of the dryer.
He couldnât remember any other time they got to be out in the sun this long. Papa usually had to rush them in and out of the humansâ sight and world without a second to lose. It was nice to justâŠslow down for once. Sit, breathe their air, share their sun, take it all in like they belonged here.
His scales tingled. His eyes felt heavy even though they were already closed, his head even heavier. Shelle was so lucky to feel this warm and buzzy all the time without actually needing the sunâŠBut honestly? Grav may not actually want to experience it any other way.
The light bathing his face, the wide open space, the fresh(ish) air of the city, it was all part of it. It was better with all of the components melding together, calming in a way he couldnât put into words. He should still be full of uncomfortable butterfly nerves about the poking and prodding of the doctors, about being so high up, lingering here so exposed for their father to catch them or humans to see, but all of those worries were being thawed out of him. He felt more like Blob now, like jelly. Jelly didnât have to worry about anything.
Was this what Papa was talking about when he longed for peace and quiet? Gravi understood it better now. Peace and quiet were like two more warm layers weighing on him, gently tipping him over to lean on his brother.
Grid must be getting sleepy too, considering he barely hesitated to open an arm and curl around him as he would cling to his big stuffed bear at night, growing just enough for a cozier, more enveloping hug. His bear hugs were the best but Gravi wouldnât want to say so and risk reminding him of his usual worries about squeezing too tight. This one was just right; Blob and Shelly would probably be upset they missed out, if they knew.
Itâd be a secret, like this sun spot. Grav melted into his hold as the ice melted into the milk, trusting his internal alarm clock to wake him up in time to get back inside before the others returned.
Silly me. He would have laughed at himself and his earlier thought, only for it to emerge as a contented chirp. Of course they belonged here. This was home.
ellievsbear
kianamaiart
discoholicmusic
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
