Personal Blogging

SOMEONE COMPLETELY RANDOM PROMISE | ♀♀ | Biology Graduate Assistant Multifandom joy and dealing with the day to day of mental illness. It's a life story, not a sob story. I promise to be ridiculous and nothing more than that. Also kinda like... maybe a secret blog for now? So shh if you find it

[the-jason-todd]

IS THAT CASSANDRA CAIN?!?!?!?!

[turtlefreak121]

Well. Now I can’t go to CrossFit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fucking fantastic Pride Month so far, America. You’re taking away my cake and my exercise. 

[turtlefreak121]

My grandma can’t take pictures but still worth it for my napping boyyyyyy

[turtlefreak121]

Personal Blogging turned 3 today!

[biteitwhenitssoft]

why does everyone make those relateable posts about depression meals and list stuff like, half a potato chip and forgetting eat but no one ever talks about the other half of people who overeat from depression? no one talks about gouging yourself with food the second you feel bad because somehow youre convinced food will make you feel better but it doesnt so you keep eating until it does? the weight gain? feeling sick from eating so much? eating an entire bag of chips and a whole carton of ice cream in one sitting without knowing it?? feeling even worse because youre making yourself so ill???

why does no one remember this symptom?

[706softly-deactivated20180911]

Because of fatphobia. Plus it doesn’t fit the “cute sad waif” side of depression that everyone keeps romanticizing.

[dykecosette]

depression meal: 4 servings of chocolate cake and wild cherry pepsi

[shinelikethunder]

can we please bring back “in poor taste” as a concept

Because at some point it got folded in under “problematic,” and now every damn thing that has Unfortunate Implications or deals with sensitive topics indelicately enough to raise hackles or gores somebody’s sacred cow is treated as a grave injustice or a threat to society. Online activism culture has lost the vocabulary to express “this deals with touchy stuff in a way many people might find inappropriate, and you should probably avoid it if insensitivity on this subject gets you angry/upset, but it’s not promoting hateful ideas or demeaning people or affecting anything but my opinion of the creator’s sense of tact.”

[foxyfandoms]

I think this really an important post. We’ve fallen into such a rut of “everything is right or wrong, no inbetween” that stuff that’s merely in poor taste is conflated with things that are actually offensively malicious.

[qlazzarusgooodbyehorses]

this is so well worded like i been trying to say this for awhile thank you

[chicklette]

Damn. This is the thing.

[queeranarchism]

I also kinda dislike that people started saying ‘problematic’ when they could be specific about what someone did wrong. It becomes this vague scary thing that someone ‘said something problematic’ and you don’t know whether they passionately defended nazis or made a clumsy joke about retail workers. And because we don’t know what someone means but we do want to be safe a lot of us just assume to worst and avoid people labelled ‘problematic’. This makes is a very effective tool to bully out people for minor flaws and to reinforce purity culture and disposability culture. 

[just-shower-thoughts]

People without glasses are really out here seeing for free

[maplesugacookie]

Oh my god I really do have to pay to see what the fuck

[kansass-deactivated20230224]

being nice is so easy just do it

[safegore-deactivated20190610]

you sound neurotypical

[skineater1998]

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[gramarye]

person: hey be nice it’s easy some jackass on tumblr dot com: um ACTUALLY? some of us are mean and hurtful to COPE :/ you ableist FUCK

[yesterdaysprint]

Green Bay Press-Gazette, Wisconsin, December 19, 1946

[yesterdaysprint]

Green Bay Press-Gazette, Wisconsin, December 19, 1946

[chessys]

im not trying my hardest but im very tired which i think should be taken into consideration

[jakegyllenhaal]

self care is unfollowing people who post negative shit about stuff that makes you happy

[alteanlotor]

self care is blocking two thirds of your own fandom

[wretchedoftheearth]

I do find it funny that lesbians are perceived as man-hating but gay men are not perceived as woman-hating, and in fact are often illogically shielded from accusations of misogyny simply by being gay

[turtlefreak121]

me before d&d: wow i get to make my own character?? sweeet

me playing d&d for the first time: i can't believe i was tricked into doing all this math

[tastefullyoffensive]

[rahmagical]

what a plot twist

[coffee-alien]

“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”

Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.

[samayla]

As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me. 

One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.

Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.

Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.

Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.

Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children. 

[brighteyedbadwolf]

This is so goddamn important.

I verbally express affection. A LOT.

My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.

At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.

Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.

Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.

taptaptap

on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me

All the time.

More often than I ever verbally said it.

It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.

It’s made a huge difference for us.

People say things differently.

[serotnin]

being self-aware enough to realize you’re being irrational but still not being able to stop anything

[bpd-hyena-deactivated20170923]

[fereldenpeach]

Also, while I’m here—

I’ve been seeing a lot of things that have given me pause about the fandom in the last month or so, some of which has made me question why I’m still participating and contributing when the climate is so…idk it’s hard to describe. But I’d like to say a few things.

I don’t know who this quote is attributed to since I’ve seen it in various form from varying sources:

Someone else’s success is not your failure.

Just because your fanfic or fanart doesn’t get the same amount of love as others doesn’t mean it’s bad or that you aren’t any good.

There are a myriad of reasons why things are the way they are. I wish I had the time or know-how in order to explain it all, but unfortunately I don’t.

Also, it reflects poorly on the person who lashes out negatively simply because they don’t or didn’t get the same attention as someone else. So, keep that in mind:

Someone else’s success is not your failure.

And the other thing to remember:

Fanworks are supposed to be fun.

It’s not a job. (And while, yes, you can generate revenue from Patreon or YouTube or receive donations from ko-fis and whatnot, but unless it is providing you a living, fanfiction isn’t your job.) And most importantly, you don’t owe anyone anything.

The moment you feel that your worth is dependent upon the reactions you receive from your fandom content—that’s probably a good time to take a step back, reflect on real world things that matter to you, and consider the larger picture at hand.

I’m here to have fun. And the moment I’m no longer having fun is the moment I will depart from the fandom.