All I know is that I don't know.
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@turtlesallthewaydown14
All I know is that I don't know.
How is it that some people can say the same things over and over and think they have a different meaning every time?
Long walks on a harsh day,
Drinking in the soft rain,
The other side of the lake,
Stuck between the here and now,
Then the cool light,
On a hot night,
The moon's glow,
Haunts the shadows.
If you were hanging from a cliff, your lover clinging to your side:
Would you continue to hang until your inevitable slip or will you use both of your arms to hold them one last time?
What are we if not our weak moments?
I closed my eyes and dreamed of flying
We can't really lose people
Not the lasting impressions they've left on us
Not the way they've changed us
And made us better, or worse
Yes over time all that they touched eventually dies
Our skin cells
Our hearts
But not who they made us
Or who they made us to other people.
She knows more than me about the things that matter.
Funny thing about falling: you won't be aware of when it happens but when it does, there's nothing to hold onto, nothing to claw at. Just falling.
I'm crowed with people, and I'm still drowned in my own loneliness.
.white circle.
Some rules are made to be broken
But what about the ones that go unspoken?
What about the words echoed in the silences, do they too break you open?
Let my love be a token.
I can't get the words to stop in my mind so here's a poem :)
A Message From God:
You cannot begin to comprehend all that I see.
You cannot understand my decision and choices.
But I am with you. In everything.
In the flow of your hair
In the flowers that bloom
In the roads not taken
In the sorrows and the joy
In the numbness you feel
In the breath of a lover
I am there. And I feel these things too.
I used to hate my handwriting. Now I think it's perfectly scrawled and completely me.
I used to hate the colour pink. Now it reminds me of her.
I used to hate dresses, now I wish I had more to show off.
I used to hate night time. Now it's all I have.
I used to hate them. Now I've learned to move on.
I used to hate being sad. Now I know it's normal.
I used to hate myself. Now I'm the only one who understands me.
I used to fear being alone. Now I know it's not about being lonely, it's about freedom.
Ideal relationship of a dark academic
Reading books together in front of a fireplace, sipping on hot tea as you lean into each others warmth
Gently holding hands as you walk through the streets, quietly telling eachother about your days
Painfully cheesy pickup lines
Wearing their jacket because they insist it will be warmer than yours, despite just wanting their jacket to smell like you
Wandering around the mall together, playfully arguing over whether you should go to Cinnabon
Going to book stores together and losing track of time
“When we move in together, we should have our own little library”
Beethoven playing gently in the background as you have your first kiss
“I got us tickets to that play you were talking about”
Getting so caught up in the relationship that you forget to tell anyone about it
Going to see old movies
The kind of love where you don’t have to say anything, being in each other’s presence is enough
Aesthetically pleasing activities that you can start doing right now:
Grab a random book you have at home, read few pages and underline all the words or phrases that inspire you most , search for their meanings or use them to create your own poetry.
Fill out a gratitude list.
Set a daily reminder on your phone to drink water.
Practice belly breathing.
write down about your best self, who is she like ? and how can you move closer into being her ? when you’re done hang that paper you used in a place where you can see it daily.
Stretch for 15 minutes.
put on nice comfortable clothes.
Loose yourself into the internet archives https://archive.org/
Repeat after me, We deserve and still have time to be all the things we want to be! ( if necessary write it on a post it and keep it near you as a reminder.)
Start a recipes journal.
Start a Commonplace book , if you don’t know what that is let me explain “it’s a notebook/book into which notable extracts from other works are copied for personal use.
living the dark academia life
messy handwriting and even messier notebooks, doodles of skulls with sunflowers dangling from their eyes
burning the corners of pages, an older look given to them, the smell of ancient given to your room
wearing the cheapest, largest brown sweaters and the most comfortable, softest cream skirts
classical music softly bouncing on each one of the walls in your room, a list of your favorite composers pinned to your wall
a black ring on your finger, your hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea
your eyes closing softly from spending too much time reading, a candle to keep you company
the wet tip of your finger, the turning of yet another page
soft brown on your eyelids, gloss on your lips
long studying session in the library, you’re curled up on your chair, seven academic books are sitting next to your side, three articles are waiting to be read
stains around the edges of your nails, your skin painted with ink
a book in your bag, a pen used as a bookmark to annotate everything that makes your hands shake
a leather belt around your waist, your old grandpa’s sweatshirt tucked in has not gone to waste
standing right in the centre of a museum, sketching the outline of a sculture, scribbling down everything there is to know about a painting – in this, your hands are still stained
letting the rain softly caress your hair, carrying an umbrella to match your velvet trousers
a smile on your face when writing an essay, a yawn from your mouth when you finally go to sleep – after your eyelids are closed, psychedelic, dark and soft dreams are reaching your mind
Types of people: Colours of the rainbow
Red: Loves passionately. Leather jackets. Wild hair. Thorns on roses. Tying knots with the stems of cherries. Loud laughter. Sunglasses indoors.
Orange: Freckles. Passive-aggressive. Old movies. Fresh fruit. Painting. Fake glasses. Opening a can of soda. Laying around in the sun.
Yellow: Polaroid photos. Old records. Sunflowers instead of roses. Positive vibes. Always smiling. Art lover. Dancing in the rain. Curly hair.
Green: Dirt under their nails. Twinkling eyes. Sly smiles. Aching for something better than this. Conspiracy theories. Lots of coffee. Combat boots.
Blue: Cloud watching. Denim jackets. Soft voice. Storms inside their head. Colour-coded notebooks. Birds in flight. Believes in magic.
Indigo: Stargazing. Collecting old objects. Old soul. Loves history. Ink smears on their face. Keeping full notebooks. Libraries on a rainy day.
Violet: Neon lights. Late nights. Tired eyes. Ice cream on a cold day. CD players. Small tattoos. Always talks.