How one KPDH fic expertly paces humor, characterization, and smut. (cabin pressure, by Yannie)
Hi everyone! One of my favorite authors, Yannie, published a new oneshot today! Linked below.Â
It was great! As always. But I wanted to highlight something Yannie did really well here-Â
The humor blended with the characterization and smut effortlessly. Like, genuinely shocking.Â
So, how does Yannie achieve this? Well, lets take a look! Spoiler, itâs all from good set-up and planning, actually.Â
The very first thing about the fic- It is exclusively told from Zoeyâs point of view, third person limited This means we get to hear Zoeyâs internal thoughts and feelings mixed in with the prose. A good chunk of the humor comes from this alone. Thereâs a general sense of âQuip Fatigueâ happening in most published work right now, a lot coming from Marvel. Larger studios have started to introduce just one kind of humor- quips. Thereâs an excellent video on youtube about this versus situation humor, btw, go watch it- (video)Â
Anyway. The humor in this fic isnât necessarily Rumi, Zoey, and Mira all throwing puns at each other or making âwittyâ remarks. Itâs from Zoeyâs own brain, how she processes things, along with the absurdity of the situation. We get primed for this almost immediately, her first thoughts literally being about her job and reflecting on her breaks, amount of passengers, and wines. Yannie couldâve started us out with a giant block of prose describing the airport, the weather, the atmosphere. Instead, she started with Zoeyâs pure, uninterrupted thought train. This primes the reader for the later humor. Nothing here is especially laugh out loud funny (even if the rookie joke was cute), but it gets you in her headspace, so when we return to her headspace later it is both familiar and contrasted. We see how Zoey is maybe slightly irritated, concerned about the logistics of her job, and slightly uncomfortable. It contrasts with the sheer patheticness later.
"I might have some," Zoey teased, "But I don't think they'll help you if you get hungry on the flight."
Okay! So! Planning. The first part of planning a fic is deciding how it will be told. We just went over how Yannie decided on a narrative style that suits the fic well. The next part of planning is the actual plot! (Well, some people plan the plot before the writing style, but regardless. My essay, my order!)
The plot of this fic is extremely cleverly set up. Zoey has a 12 hour plane ride, then a fun night. Zoey doesnât leave the plane until nearly 6000 words in. 6000 words of just flirting, and characterization. No actual smut. This means despite being a twenty-two thousand word fic, it doesnât overstay itâs welcome or drag on. (Too much smut is a thing, guys). A third of it is set up and character work!
Deciding to pace it this way, teasing the audience with this long plane ride, does a few things. First, like I already set, you clearly set your pacing. A third setup, a little bit rising action, then the glorious uninterrupted smut everyone wants to see. Second, it gets you in the mindset of Zoey. She also wants the smut! She wants it so bad, and sheâs being so patient. Zoey is being forced to sit (stand?) through this 12 hour plane ride, and the reader is being so patient and good with her. Third, it makes the smut later hit harder, since you are now actually invested from the set-up. Sure, itâs a fanfic. We all know Mira, Rumi, and Zoey. Hell, a lot of us reading have binged Yannieâs catalogue and know how they write Mira, Rumi, and Zoey. But we donât know this Mira, Rumi, Zoey. (Sorry, had to find an excuse to repeat the three names three times).Â
Allowing a good chunk of your story to be flirty teasing/set up allows the characters and their dynamics to be solidly established. No one should be surprised by what happens in the smut later, itâs all clearly laid out how these characters interact with each other.Â
People often say that fight scenes and smut are written in similar ways. Well, Yannie writes Zoey flirting with them as a battle. Which adds to the humor (situational humor, the fact that she is shamelessly fighting a sky high battle and losing), but also keeps the pacing tight. Itâs not boring talking for 6000 words. Itâs a battle! A test of wills. Itâs fun to read because you know itâll come back later. And Yannie is actually smart enough to make their flirting, the battle, come back up later. All of the characters remember this section of the story and it influences how they behave when alone.Â
"Point to Zoey. This was going to be easy."
And, this battle establishes their characters! Whatâs the specific dynamic? We learn from the flirting that Rumi flusters more easily than Mira, that Mira isnât immune, that they enjoy giving Zoey attention. That Mira is more aggressive, that Rumi tends to be gentler but still has her moments. I donât think its a coincidence that Zoey will start the battle, Mira will say something that makes Zoey blush, then Rumi steps in to either save her or hit her again. It establishes a very clear pattern thatâs followed up on in the smut! Thereâs also actual non-smut characterization for all three of them. Mostly, Zoey, with her internal dialogue about being wanted, being seen as more than a fling. She notices Miraâs softness, lovergirl maximum, along with Rumiâs tendency to reel her back (Saying âJesus, Miraâ to the more egregious flirting, telling Mira to use her words when staring at Zoey).Â
"Mira," PurpleâRumiâchided as she sat down in the window seat, "Use your words."
Zoey also continually assumes that Mira/Rumi must be joking. Then, once she realizes they are not joking, she assumes sheâs just a one night fling. Her apprehensiveness can be initially read as realism. After all, these types of situations never happen in real life. But that quickly gives way to the audience realizing that she has been burned in the past, and is afraid of that happening again. Beneath all the horny, this flight attendant Zoey is someone desperate for connection. Insert connecting flight joke. Idk. (You probably could analyze how often Zoey is given service jobs in AUâs (Front Desk Zoey, Flight Attendant Zoey, etc) but that is more of a general fic analysis than cabin pressure analysis. Go read show me (how to love you), by the way.)
"There was something about extremely pretty rich girls that irritated her, the way they looked down their nose at her, the way they flaunted their family's money."
Okay, okay. Iâve gotten on tangents. Pacing. Humor. Characterization. Yes. Summizaring message: The flirty dialogue in the first third of this fic both establishes characterization which is followed up on in the smut later, and allows the fic to have solid pacing that matches the general sense of edging that Zoey feels. (The building âpressureâ of the entire fic. The cabin pressure. Haha.)Â
Itâs great! Itâs so, so smart. And makes reading it so natural, so easy. I know a lot of fic authors worry that people get through the setup to make it to smut. This fic was not the case at ALL. The setup is funny, charming, sweet, and engaging. What a way to expand on âPlane AU mile high club haha.â Itâs good! Go read it! And other Yannie fics, just mind the tags.