tweets i like

[tweetsilike-blog]

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR... CLAUSTROPHOBIC MAN (runs into a phone booth) (runs out, crying) no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no n-

— Ace... Ace? (@AceMakesWords) May 27, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

does amazon sell inverse christmas lights that pierce the daylight with unfathomable darkness

— nārada (@weirdrap) January 5, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

I got kicked out of 24 Hour Fitness for demanding to fight their gym leader

— ＣＨＵＲＬＩＳＨ (@Cryptoterra) December 22, 2012

[tweetsilike-blog]

Work on farm Fri. Burning piles of brush WindyFire got out of control. Thank God for good naber He help get undr control PantsBurnLegWound

— ChuckGrassley (@ChuckGrassley) April 11, 2009

[tweetsilike-blog]

I can't belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I'm rich fuck this I'm going home I don't need this shit

— 50cent (@50cent) August 26, 2010

[tweetsilike-blog]

a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn't know what to say so I stammered out "I like bread"

— ☆ electro lemon ☆ (@electrolemon) February 4, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

You know you're a 90s kid when [YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ARE MANUFACTURED BY CORPORATIONS AND MARKETERS]!

— ＰＡＵＬ ＲＹＡＮＢＯＷ (@PaulRyanVEVO) April 18, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

i wish i was more percent fire

— Carl Aagesen (@totallymoon) January 15, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

what do we want? more sex. when do we want it? im scared

— skeeter (@mostlyfeelings) January 9, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

what rose from the ashes of the child you were, and what did you burn

— Little irl Alien (@ErroneousJuan) November 11, 2012

[tweetsilike-blog]

the flavor of the mix of hope, trepidation, and joy when you realize your love for a person has not yet peaked

— a lil heart (@psomyd) October 8, 2012

[tweetsilike-blog]

"by power vested in me i now pronounce [you] [man & wife]" no one coud stop him from changig how words sound if man & wife know what i mean

— jomny sun (@jonnysun) January 30, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

hi i need a new iphone because i changed my status to single on facebook and it vibrated so hard from texts that it turned into a diamond

— bobo (@thrillbo) December 16, 2012

[tweetsilike-blog]

Adulthood - Pros: you can eat ice cream in bed. Cons: this will somehow make you sadder.

— Cakemittens (@cakemittens) September 16, 2012

[tweetsilike-blog]

FIND SOMEONE YOU LIKE. DISSECT THEM UNTIL YOU CAN CONCLUDE THAT THEYRE HUMAN. MOVE ON. DONT STOP UNTIL YOUR RESULTS ARE INCONCLUSIVE. STAY.

— ΞMiLY (@TEENSLUT666) April 17, 2013

[tweetsilike-blog]

Thank god birds never got hands what if they could just fly up and start choking you just imagine

— Charles de Gallo (@broccobamali) September 8, 2012

[tweetsilike-blog]

my biggest fear about becoming a father someday is what if there's a spider on my baby i'll just have to leave it there & hope it crawls off

— a. spaceman (@adamrensch) June 22, 2013