The butter man

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[castarae-blog]

Conversation with my mom

*one of the many bands I love is on tv*

Me: Ugh I love them so much!!!

Mom: you know they don’t know you exist right?

Me: *starts laughing*

Me: *begins crying uncontrollably*

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

why do white people have to emphasize that they don’t know their fave band??? like?? ive never been like ‘mum i love martin luther king jr’ and she was like ‘son he’s dead and he doesn’t know you exist’. you think one direction was ever like ‘lads! theres a teenage girl who loves us!’ and they were like ‘shit! we’ve Got to go fly out Immediatley to meet her!’ honestly your privileged white life is so hard i feel so sorry for You, some people dont have Clean water but you dont know michael5sos. i hope youre ok

[karpetshark]

i’m an angry person and i want to let it out and be an asshole but i’m also a nice person and i don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings do u feel me

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

Dinner at jlaws house

Jlaw:"and that's when I said 'WHERES THE PIZZA!?!?'"

Dinner guests: *forced laughter as they eat their dinner consisting of only bread*

Bradley cooper to me: "can I offer you some bread"

Me: "oh um....I don't eat bread"

Dinner guests: *complete silence*

jlaw with mouth full of bread: "wait....what do you mean you don't eat bread™"

Me: "oh um well I can't-"

Jlaw: *makes wacky faces* "FUCK YOU!! you ASSHOLE!!!" *crying*

Me: "uh well...sorry it's just that I-"

Jlaw crawling across the table towards me: "YOU WILL EAT THIS BREAD"

Me: "please no"

Bradley cooper: "please Jen it's fine...."

Jlaw: *ugly crying* "SHUT UP!!! S H U T U P"

Jlaw: *takes a fist full of bread and shoves it in my mouth*

Me: *muffled crying* "please I have celiac disease I can't eat gluten"

Jlaw:"DONT GIVE IN TO SOCIETIES LIES!! EAT THIS BREAD"

Dinner guests: *still watching in silent horror*

Amy schumer:*thin lipped Amy schumer smile*

Oscar committee: "holy f uck Jen...."

[tre-cool-swallovvs-deactivated2]

what if danny devito replaced billie joe from green day with zero explanation and the band just continued and pretended nothing happened

[kerplunk]

[keterkid]

People who are younger than you but taller

[gondor-calls-for-aid]

People who are younger than you but better than you at something

[emeraldembers]

People who are younger than you

[discipleofpuck]

People

[gentlepanpirate]

Being turned into a llama

[stabilizedinsanity]

A LLAMA?! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!

[nemusou-blog]

yeah… weird

[ammit420]

no condoms i jus superglue my dick shut #nutfortress

[bidoof]

*youth pastor voice* here’s something that’s “on fleek”…….the lord

[seeinggsounds]

DELETE THIS

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

*hilary clinton nods in agreement*

[mxr-mp3]

matt’s hair in 2006 reblog if you agree

[grawly]

I’m going to bed

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

murderer: you’re gonna die

me: no im Dan

murderer: lol good one

me: lol thanks

[mcdolans]

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

[semememes-blog]

HOW

[lexiwestiiee]

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

[takemewherethewildthingsare]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

[clariphonete-deactivated2014111]

I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE 

[wrappingpaper]

there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one

how

[bbassam-deactivated20151227]

i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago

how the actual 

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

legit how, in like 30 seconds i got one and this has 500k notes

[greendaychick14]

[just-shower-thoughts]

When I was younger, my mom hated when I sat on my ass all day long. Now she’s proud that I’m doing it in a cubicle.

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

T OO REAL

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

this is so true kms

[vintage-cf]

vintage blog

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

Reminds me of a certain Fall Out Boy song

[trollblogging]

trollblogging for your daily dose of fun

[twentyoneeggplants-blog]

*goes through iPod to see what band accounts I should be following*