Karkat felt like he would die in the first five minuets, when everyone was at the Cornucopia. He felt like even if he went to Violet and ran, he’d get a knife through his back or the back of his head. Maybe an arrow through his throat, something. He’d just die. Maybe even be the first down. He didn’t expect to win. He wasn’t sure he wanted to win. Living, but at what price? Mental damage, emotional damage, possibly even physical damage depending… it was scary, but at the same time, he’d be happy to die. To escape. He’d wanted it for year… about ten years but he never seemed to get away with it. He’d be found and taken to the hospital and somehow survive, someone would stop him, SOMETHING would happen and he would live. He hated it. This was his chance to just…. get out. He might have even volunteered… it had been his last year anyhow. But this..? Hugging someone who cared for his well being? That hadn’t been what he thought this would be like. He thought it would be like always. They would pick on him, make fun of him, try to beat him up, talk about him when he’s right behind them… this wasn’t what he thought. Just thinking that this wasn’t what he thought, that it was actually better, made the tears spill, even with his best efforts, and he let out a soft and pathetic sob, but refrained from letting any others escape him. He didn’t want the blond to know he was literally crying on him but it was too late for that now. Fucking emotions… He did purr a little at the hair stroking though. It was choppy and ragged, but he purred a bit
“I’m….. I’m just going over to another station… Do you really want me to stay over here..?” Karkat mumbled just loud enough for the Gemini to hear him. He’d spent about two hours at that station earlier. He didn’t really need to stay there. But if the hot blond wanted it, he’d get it. So after a moment’s thought, he slowly made his way back to Sollux’s side.
Fine? He didn’t seem fine. He was pale, and he was pretty sure if he was that pale he would be dizzy. Karkat moved his hand to the blond’s upper arm and turned him towards him, putting a hand on his cheek to angle his head down so he could see his face better. The Cancer could tell he looked as concerned as he felt, having a deep frown etched onto his features. He moved his hand to his forehead, sweeping it underneath his bangs so he could get some sort of temperature approximation. It was a little difficult with him being so short he had to get on his tiptoes to even get his hand flat on his forehead. That was embarrassing. But he had to push that feeling aside. Sollux’s health was more important that that.. Was he having a migraine or something? Did the Captor get migraines? Maybe he just didn’t eat enough and did too much? But all he’d been doing was throw knives and shoot arrows. Whatever. He’d get him water anyways. He’d probably need it. “C’mon.” Karkat finally spoke after a minuet, taking hold of Sollux’s hand and pulling him to the conference room where they’d eat lunch to grab him a water bottle.
He felt tears sting at his eyes and he swallowed thickly, trying to hold them back as his gaze was set straight ahead of him. He felt himself shaking a bit, and he felt a hand in his straight after. His fingers interlocked with Sollux’s, squeezing his hand lightly for his own personal reassurance that this was actually happening. What he said meant more to him than almost anything else in the world (Aside from Violet. Violet was number one to him; the most important thing was her), and he looked down and let the tears stream down his face. He started to notice he was visibly shaking now as he looked down at his free hand, which was red, raw, and still wet from when he was scrubbing his camouflage off of it. It only took a moment for him to move to the blond and accept his embrace, wishing he was tall enough to bury his face in his neck. He always did that, and it made him feel better, but he was too damn tall. He’d make an acceptation this time. Karkat buried his face in Sollux’s chest, letting go of his hand only to wrap his arms tightly around him. “Thank you….” He mumbled softly, grabbing onto the blond’s shirt with clenched fists.
Violet and Karkat seemed to joke around at every station, using knives as mustaches without hurting themselves, making the ladder used to practice balance to spin around in circles repeatedly, or the camouflage station to paint stupid pictures on each other’s faces that they wore the rest of training. Violet even kissed his cheek once in a friendly platonic way, and Karkat had turned bright red which made her laugh. They were very close, and they had dated once a while ago. Karkat had felt they were better as friends, and Violet had agreed, so they were just friends and nothing more. Karkat did however look at the blond every moment he got. He was just so different..it was like he wasn’t even real he was so perfect… he couldn’t help staring. Violet had to bring him back into reality.
They did that at lunch too. Just fooled around and did stupid things. Held hands, did a little handshake every time one of them told a good joke that actually was funny. But again, Karkat kept stealing glances at Sollux and having to be pulled back to reality. This male tribute was no like anyone else and he knew it. He… he was just special to him. Somehow.
After lunch, Karkat decided that’s when he’d go back upstairs. Besides, he’d already been there for 10 hours and longer even. He should get upstairs before he wears himself out… He felt a hand bush against his, and press something into his palm. He grabbed hold of it and held it close for just a second before looking. A key? When he saw who it was, he nearly ran after him to catch up. He tucked the key in his inner jacket pocket with the little chip he got from him yesterday night. He grabbed Sollux’s arm and held him back, looking up at him and saying, “Meet me on the roof at midnight… earlier if you want. Just use the stairs. It’ll be quieter that way and no one will bother you when you go up. If you don’t want to you don’t have to but you know…” His social awkwardness got the best of him after that and he turned and left, trying not to show he iterally scared himself by doing that. Why did he do that? Never again. Never again… he took the elevator up to the highest floor for his penthouse and then used the stairs to get to the roof. He wasn’t going to eat dinner, he decided. He didn’t feel like it and he could probably eat something better to eat tomorrow for breakfast or something. Plus, he wanted to watch the clouds go by, and he wanted to watch the sun set, which was something he couldn’t do while eating at a dinner table.
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
