Emi

[twistycloudss-blog]

It's weird living in a world where being depressed/becoming depressed is so easily thrown around like it isn't a serious mental illness that leads to many deaths.

[twistycloudss-blog]

Let’s talk mental health...

Hello lovelies! I am back with my 2nd blogpost and this one will be more on the serious side because how serious this is. So I know many people (including myself) that suffer from a mental illness. The ones I’m gonna be focusing on are more of Depression, anger issues, and anxiety because those are the ones I struggle with mostly. So this will be more of what I’m dealing with I guess and maybe some of you can relate.

Let’s start with depression shall we? So I have been suffering with depression for almost 6 years. What a lot of people don’t understand is that, depression isn’t just a phase someone can get over. It sticks with them like a cloud making someone feel gloomy. Yes, I know some people will be like “ Oh well how come she always laughs with people, smiles-” yada yada yada. What do you expect? Now with society’s judgment on people with mental health, you’ll get labeled as an attention seeker or a faker? So most people who suffer with this aren’t gonna frown and act like they hate their life. They’ll do the complete opposite. I know this is probably an over used thing but; STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION TO LIGHTEN UP OR TO GET OVER IT! Do you really think someone likes to feel so lonely and miserable? Or to feel their test tighten and their heart race when they come across a trigger? Or when they lay in bed at night feeing numb, dreading the next day? No. If someone suffering with this mental illness could simply ‘lighten up’ or ‘get over it’ they would. Also! Just a FYI, not everyone who is depressed wants to off themselves.

Now onto anxiety! I know a lot of people struggle with this, I am too. I started struggling with severe/social anxiety when middle school came around. I came into a different and bigger school that wasn’t just my small elementary school where everyone knew everyone. This was a school with about 5 different schools merged into one. More kids; older, meaner, and of course, the beginning of bullying. I was bullied almost all 3 years of my middle school time. Which caused me to freak out when someone that wasn’t my friend would talk to me (Which is basically my social anxiety). I would feel like my throat was closing and I was gonna die because I could barely breathe. My heart would race and I would visibly tremble and shake. I developed a nervous stutter I guess. When someone I didn’t know, or someone older would approach me, my mind came up with the worst reason on why this person was coming by me. I couldn’t even talk in class! I was scared to even say one word. I never asked questions either. I was scared that if I did talk, I would stutter, or because I didn't talk would I accidently talk to loud or would I mumble.  was terrified. I didn't want anyone to make fun of me. When I did open my mouth I was made fun of. Judged for my speech impediments, or people would mock shaking by me. They would call me names. With my severe anxiety it’s a little different, but mostly the same. But sometimes I will get a random ass panic attack out of no where and I just end up crying and grasping for air.

Last but not least I am onto anger issues. Now I don't know if I exactly have anger issues but I'm pretty damn positive. So if the things I say don't match up then I guess I'm just a very angry person. So it started in 8th grade. This was the time where shit was hard as fuck and I was struggling with my depression and anxiety and I felt like no one cared enough to listen. I was angry, almost furious, all the damn time. When someone didn't do something the way I wanted/asked I would freak out and pretty much remind myself not to. I don’t know how else to add onto this other than I get mad really easily and get pissed over the most simple things.

[twistycloudss-blog]

Let’s Talk Freshman

It gets to the point where high school is the most ridiculous place anyone could possibly spend 7 hours of their life. Not speaking of the learning (which could be overwhelming and too much), but every single little asshole in the whole perimeter around you. Let me just give you an example. So today, as I was walking down the halls of my beloved, over-cramped, fake filled school came faced with a bunch of ignorant freshman. Not only do they talk overly loud, they seem to find the need to stop walking in the middle of the hall. How could someone not understand that if you want to talk to your damn friends while not walking MOVE TO THE SIDE! But nope, they like to stop dead in their tracks, like the people behind them will spilt like the damn Red Sea. Shit gets annoying real quick. Another thing that can get me going 0-100 is when freshman think that they’re the shit and that they run the god damn school! Like wtf no. If anything they are the shits my dog takes in the mornings. Not only is that annoying but the fact of when I walk down their hall to leave the damn school it always smells of shit, sweat, and the overwhelming smell of Victoria Secret perfume. Like how can one hallway seem to smell like a bunch of rotting corpse? Also why the fuck are bitches trying to spray their nasty ass perfume like it’s actually gonna help? NO! It just adds on to the smell!

   Now I know that this doesn't apply to every freshman, but just a majority of them :-)

[twistycloudss-blog]

I'm new here

Hello peoples, I don't know what the hell I’m doing but I'm starting a ‘mf blog. I’ve always wanted to start a blog but I've just been too busy, but today is the day. I don’t really know what a blog is supposed to be used for but I’m probably just gonna rant, post my problems, and things that bother me to the ‘T’ .