HEAD OR TAILS?

Why don’t you just hold me in the bat cave? In your own cell?

Why would I do that?

And don't call my bedroom a cell.

Please, Bruce?

I- what? Harvey, I would do almost anything for you. Come on.

#everyone IS too good for a fuckip like ne

Harvey blinks, a bit shocked. Then they smile for a split second and grab Bruce’s hand.

... Okay. Let’s go.

do you just assume EVERYONE is too good for you or something

Is this a joke?

Do your best impression of jack GO

OKAY OKAY UUHHHHHH

Hi. I'm Jack. I wear nice suits, and I'm bi. I love Creeper so much. He's my best friend and I love him.

Good impression.

THANKS I HAVE HIS FACE TO MAKE IT EASIER.

Seeming him smile like that is fucking unsettling

OH SHOULD I SMILE HOW I NORMALLY DO INSTEAD?

I will shoot you.

HM.... AM I STILL VIRTUALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE IF I'M IN JACK'S FORM....................

oh god i really don't know the answer to that! hehe

Well. Heads or tails.

UMMMMMM- ow. why can't i tip my head upsi.. oh. right. UH HEADS I GUESS, WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT? HEHE

Harvey flips their coin. Then they shoot Creeper ( Jack’s body oops ) in the foot.

Creeper just fucking collapses. He's never felt proper human pain. He's crying.

AAAGH... H... WH.... OH MY GOD.....

Tsh. Fucking wimp. Never taken a bullet to the foot before?

IT DOESN'T... IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO... HHHHURT THIS MUCH... AHH.. GOD... I CAN'T SEE???? WHY CAN'T I SEE????? OH MY GOD AM I DYING IS THIS WHAT IT FELT LIKE WHEN JACK DIED

His glasses fell off.

Harvey grins really big and crushes Jack’s glasses with their heel. They’ll buy Jack new ones, after they’re done terrorizing the shit out of Creeper.

Here, I’ll flip for it. Heads for heaven and tails for hell?

i've never been dead before i dont wanna die oh god oh god.. even when jack died i was alive i don't wanna know what that felt like?? i don't wanna die?? i can't die i'm not supposed to i can't..... why is everything so blurry??????

Harvey actually laughs, and it’s a mean sound.

Lost your glasses, Creeper.

gl.. OH MY GOD YOU CRUSHED JACK'S GLASSES. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HIM???

I’ll buy him new ones. Once he’s back in his body. :)

y.. you hurt jack.

you shot me in the foot... while i was jack. mmmhmhmhmhmhehehehehehehehehe

I’ll fix it. Stop fucking laughing.

you don't get it! that means i can do whatever i want. i can kill you now, and it would be justified. because I DON'T LET PEOPLE HURT JACK. HEHEHEHEHE

Harvey starts backing up because god that’s terrifying.

What the fuck. What the fuck. You wouldn’t.

I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER GET A REASON TO. I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T EVER GOING TO SLIP UP. BUT NOW, HARVEY DENT. NOW I CAN.

You.. you were fucking waiting for this? Waiting to kill me?????

I WAS. I NEVER TRUSTED YOU, HARVEY DENT. FOR ALL YOU SEEMED TO LOOOOVE JACK, YOU HATED ME. THAT GIVES ME SUCH A BAD VIBE, HARVEY DENT. I KNEW YOU'D SLIP UP EVENTUALLY, AND NOW YOU HAVE. HEEEHEHEHEHE

You can’t kill me. Not in his body. You don’t have your shitty powers.

strangulation isn't a power, harvey dent.

He lunges, but purposefully misses, feigning a stumble on his injured foot.

Harvey startles, growls, and flips their coin all in an instant. They catch Creeper before he falls.

Don’t fucking - walk on his foot, you goddamn idiot. You’ll make it worse -

it'll heal the second we switch back. besides... i didn't actually fall.

He leaps up around Harvey's shoulders and wraps his arms around their neck. Just because Jack doesn't USE all those muscles doesn't mean he's without them. Creeper isn't choking Harvey though, just cackling. It's becoming clear he sees this as a game.

Harvey just lets Creeper do this. Harvey is freaked out but ultimately? Doesn’t want to hurt Jack anymore than they have.

H. Let go. Let go right now.

NO-OOO HEHEHEHEHE

Creeper singsongs. He SINGSONGS. And true to his statement does not let go. But he's still not squeezing! Just holding.

LET GO OF ME.

i'm just having fun, harvey dent. but i'll stop if you really want me to

I.. I.. rggghgghhfhhhg. Argh. I don’t want you to. Fuck shit

AHA! what if i actually squeeze a little, mm?

I. Fuck. Fuck.. y.. rhgghggggggGGGGGGG. I WOULD LIKE It. FUCK YOU

THOUGHT SOOOOOO EEEHEHEHEHEHE

Creeper does, actually trying to strangle Harvey more than be sexy.

Harvey lets this happen, this is the worst day of their life. They are beyond embarrassed.

#truth m!a

batman

C'est moi.

You speak Spanish

Alongside another 20 or so languages, yes.

Sorry what was that? I don’t speak rich.

Lie to someone that'll buy it.

I hate you.

I love you.

Th. H. Shut up. I love you shut up.

Shut you up? Don't mind if I do.

You did just commit grievous bodily harm, though.

H. Kiss me before you arrest me?

*turns to look out of the nearest window* Can anyone else see a recurring theme, here?

Then don’t arrest me jackass!

...Who are you talking to.

I have to. It's my reason for being. I've heard that Bruce Wayne has an appearance due soon, if that helps. To see the progress of his rehabilitation program.

I'm... not sure. Monologuing, maybe.

Why don’t you just hold me in the bat cave? In your own cell?

Why would I do that?

And don't call my bedroom a cell.

Please, Bruce?

#truth m!a

sooo what's your juicy true opinions on creeper n jack? >u>

Jack is.. too good for me. And Creeper is annoying.

They remind me of me and Harry.

#m!a truth

Do your best impression of jack GO

OKAY OKAY UUHHHHHH

Hi. I'm Jack. I wear nice suits, and I'm bi. I love Creeper so much. He's my best friend and I love him.

Good impression.

THANKS I HAVE HIS FACE TO MAKE IT EASIER.

Seeming him smile like that is fucking unsettling

OH SHOULD I SMILE HOW I NORMALLY DO INSTEAD?

I will shoot you.

HM.... AM I STILL VIRTUALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE IF I'M IN JACK'S FORM....................

oh god i really don't know the answer to that! hehe

Well. Heads or tails.

UMMMMMM- ow. why can't i tip my head upsi.. oh. right. UH HEADS I GUESS, WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT? HEHE

Harvey flips their coin. Then they shoot Creeper ( Jack’s body oops ) in the foot.

Creeper just fucking collapses. He's never felt proper human pain. He's crying.

AAAGH... H... WH.... OH MY GOD.....

Tsh. Fucking wimp. Never taken a bullet to the foot before?

IT DOESN'T... IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO... HHHHURT THIS MUCH... AHH.. GOD... I CAN'T SEE???? WHY CAN'T I SEE????? OH MY GOD AM I DYING IS THIS WHAT IT FELT LIKE WHEN JACK DIED

His glasses fell off.

Harvey grins really big and crushes Jack’s glasses with their heel. They’ll buy Jack new ones, after they’re done terrorizing the shit out of Creeper.

Here, I’ll flip for it. Heads for heaven and tails for hell?

Harvey actually laughs, and it’s a mean sound.

Lost your glasses, Creeper.

gl.. OH MY GOD YOU CRUSHED JACK'S GLASSES. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HIM???

I’ll buy him new ones. Once he’s back in his body. :)

y.. you hurt jack.

you shot me in the foot... while i was jack. mmmhmhmhmhmhehehehehehehehehe

I’ll fix it. Stop fucking laughing.

you don't get it! that means i can do whatever i want. i can kill you now, and it would be justified. because I DON'T LET PEOPLE HURT JACK. HEHEHEHEHE

Harvey starts backing up because god that’s terrifying.

What the fuck. What the fuck. You wouldn’t.

I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER GET A REASON TO. I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T EVER GOING TO SLIP UP. BUT NOW, HARVEY DENT. NOW I CAN.

You.. you were fucking waiting for this? Waiting to kill me?????

I WAS. I NEVER TRUSTED YOU, HARVEY DENT. FOR ALL YOU SEEMED TO LOOOOVE JACK, YOU HATED ME. THAT GIVES ME SUCH A BAD VIBE, HARVEY DENT. I KNEW YOU'D SLIP UP EVENTUALLY, AND NOW YOU HAVE. HEEEHEHEHEHE

You can’t kill me. Not in his body. You don’t have your shitty powers.

strangulation isn't a power, harvey dent.

He lunges, but purposefully misses, feigning a stumble on his injured foot.

Harvey startles, growls, and flips their coin all in an instant. They catch Creeper before he falls.

Don’t fucking - walk on his foot, you goddamn idiot. You’ll make it worse -

it'll heal the second we switch back. besides... i didn't actually fall.