UkhtikumFiDeen

[ukhtikumfideen]

"I was raped, stripped off my dignity and honour, and I was humiliated. It was gang rape by MUSLIMS."

I was raped, stripped off my dignity and honour, and I was humiliated. It was gang rape by MUSLIMS. Nobody could of ever gotten inbetween me and my Lord. My deen was so high. All I was ever focused on was my deen. And how to get to jannah and die a good death bi izn illaah. I spent most of my days and time in the masjid, reading quraan, hadiths, meeting with sisters. I loved it. That was my life. Just for Allaah azzawajal. However, one of these nights.. I was leaving the masjid it was Winter of course it gets dark really early. I left the masjid round 8pm. Not for once did I think anybody would harm me because I was so i to worshipping Allaah I didnt think He'd allow anything bad to happen me cause He is protecting me. I was walking on main road, there's always cars driving up and down. That night there wasnt much cars driving.. Anyway, I'm walking minding my own business. A black car with blue flashing lights pulls over.. For me. 2 Asian Pakistani guys, they tell me to get in the car. I said no. I kept refusing, until the guy in the passanger seat got out, put his hands on my mouth and dragged me into the car. As they drove off, I was fighting in the back. Doors are locked. Windows tinted. Music was so loud, that nobody could hear me. Baring in mind, I was wearing the full Islamic attire. The jilbaab and niqaab and gloves, there was nothing about me that could attract anybody. First thing I say to the guys after I had calmed down from screaming as I knew it wouldnt help but make situation worse. I told them that they could return me to my family and my family would give them any amount they would ask for. They laughed at me.. They parked up near a park. Turns engine off, they both look at me as I have tears flowing down my face, I looked terrified, I was terrified. They looked so evil. So horrible. I could see the devil in their eyes. They started touching me, I told them to fear Allaah and that Allaah is watching. They laughed and told me to forget Allaah for now. They'll repent later. They kept touching me, I'm screaming and fighting them off but regardless of how much I tried.. I just couldnt. It was one weak girl against two big guys. I couldnt. I felt helpless. I called out to Allaah so many times, nothing happened. Now, this guy... Is just on top of me. He raped me. He killed me. He destroyed me. He humiliated me. He finishes, then he hugs me and says everything is gonna be okay.. After that. I gave up fighting. I had no energy. My voice was gone. Nothing left of me. Now the second guy does what he does, then they both get back into their seats and drive .. I was in the back.. Jilbab pulled up, niqaab still on my head but not covering my face. Gloves were off.. And my underwear. I was just dead. I couldnt move, or say a word while these two pigs were infront laughing the whole way. Then they dashed me on road. I rememer it was a Saturday night, many people were out drinking, when they dashed me on road.. Blood was on me, I was crying, just laying on the floor.. I got up to run towards cars to just die.. I thought I might aswell die. How can I tell my family this.. How can I face the world on my own? As much as I tried, I couldnt. I went home, I got upstairs get in the bath and lay there till early morning. Family didnt notice anything. I never wanted to get out the bath, I felt filthy and dirty. I felt their hands still on my body. That was the end of my faith.. I became a whole different girl from that day. I turned to alcohol. To drugs, to love here and there. I became numb to everything around me. I couldnt cope. Till now, I am still trying to breathe.. Trying to forget, trying to heal.. But its almost impossible. My imaan is gone. I need rescuing. These so called Muslims messed my life.. No I havent reported it cause I havent even told my family yet. I'm so afraid. This took place in 2014. I'm so hurt and scarred for life.. Who will really marry me and love me.. Who will marry me and deal with my backflashes and my crazy depression episodes.. Who will just love me despite all these scars on my heart. Just help me.. Please. I am a Muslim, I believe in laa illaaha ill Allah Muhammadurassul Allaah. But I dont practise I'm lost. Help. End quote. I don't usually comment on stories but wallahi brothers and sisters, this sister's email hurt me. I'm destroyed by just reading it and I know must of you will be too hence why I'm commenting on it. Please know that the sister does not know the identity of these men and I am encouraging her to speak to her family and getting her in touch with people near her who can help her more. Please help with ad3iya. -UkhtiKumFiDeen

[ukhtikumfideen]

"I started to cut myself, burn myself and I even got to the point where I tried to hang myself.." Advice from a sister who used to self harm.

As salaamu alaykum Firstly i wish that you are all in good health. I dont really know where to start but during my early years in school i didnt really fit in things weren't going very well one of my family members passed away and soon after I started to get bullied and stalked by my so called friends in school and people i didnt even know outside of school. I had no one to talk to and at this time I wasn't strong on my deen. It started off with name calling and soon after they were threatening to kill me. I hadn't told anyone about this group of people and i wasn't planning to either. I didnt know who to turn to and subhanallah i started doing things I regret, I started to cut myself, burn myself and I even got to the point where I tried to hang myself I just didnt understand why these people hated me so much and at this time i didnt know how bad the consequences of suicide was i continued to cut n burn myself until it got to the point where police got invloved and they would stand out side the school to make sure this group wasnt waiting for me. I really didnt understand why they hated me so much and why they would want to end my life. I did what i did because I thought it was the only way Alhamdulillah my friends found out about this and so did my mum i then moved schools and alhamdulillah things got better. Im so glad Allah didnt let me go then because I wasnt ready. I dont know if anyone would benefit from this but wallahi if your going through anything talk to someone, talk to Allah i wish i spoke to Allah back then. It doesnt last forever all the pain. Allah has told us that he test those he loves and everything happens for a reason. I found out that these girls werent really my friends. Sisters be careful who you trust and Always surround yourself around people who fear Allah. Jazakallahu khayr

[ukhtikumfideen]

This girl was raped and later fell in love with how much Islam values women, and reverted to Islam. (Beautiful story & advice.)

Asselamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Please read and share the story, jazak Allahu Khayran TRUE STORY ABOUT RAPE When I was young and naïve and still in my kufr days, I used to go to parties. Once there was a birthday party from a friend. I went there, ofcourse there was alcohol. A "friend" served me an alcoholic drink. I wasn't there when it was served but I remembered it tasted very strong and not so good. But I was being polite and I drank it anyway. Suddenly I felt realy sick. So I went outside to get some fresh air. My head was spinning, normally I was used to drink alcohol but this was different. I only had 1 glass. I was drugged. Then I passed out outside on the pavement. Minutes or hours later, I felt somebody pushing and shaking me. My vision was bad, my head was spinning....he said wake up, everybody is gone... Normaly we were supposed to go to a club all together, but this man, who was aparently also at the party, said that they were gone. My stuff was still in the house, keys, jacket, purse, everything... I started crying, felt weak and helpless. So this guy was realy friendly.and told me he would help me out. I couldn't think clearly, My vision was still bad and I could barely walk. But he was holding and supporting me. He told me that he would bring me to my friends. So I went with him, naïve as I was but also helpless because off being drugged. He brought me somewhere to a house, said he was going to call my friend to come and pick me up. So I believed him. I entered the house, still crying and intoxicated by the drug. He offered me some water and said I should sit. Then about 15 minutes later I felt lame. He had mixed my water with the rape drug. (it's a medicine and in combination with alcohol. You become lame.) He pushed me down on the sofa. I couldn't move my arms and legs anymore, couldn't scream, but I was conscious. He raped me, I wanted to yell, kick, scream but couldn't do a thing! Then I passed out again, I don't even remember what happened later on and how I got home ( the drug gives you black outs) didn't even remember who he was and in which house I was raped. All I remember was that I was at home, took a shower and washed myself for a long long time. I felt dirty! Then more trouble came, this man had an STD. I got it also. A virus that gives you genital warts. 2 times I had to go under narcosis in the hospital to burn them all away. 2 times I was marked by burns, I had so much pain afterwards. You can't even imagine. And when they came back I was so devastated! But Al hamdullilah, the second time they were all gone for good. I was in good health again al hamdullilah. This story that I went through made me love islam so much! Islam has all the rules to protect ourselves against situations like this. Islam truly wants to protect us sisters and make others treat us like diamonds. Alcohol: forbidden Mixed parties: forbidden Contact between a girl and a non mahram: forbidden. The rule for wearing Hijab is to protect ourselves against the evil. Please sisters, one off the main reasons that I accepted islam was because off these rules, I urge you my sisters to obey Allah's rules. They are send to us for our protection! Not as a burden! I tell this story because rape happens more often than you think. I never went to the police. I kept quiet. But in some kind of way this made me stronger. I moved on and looked forward, not backwards. This is very important because everything happens for a reason, everything is a lesson. Everything is qadr even if the event that has happend was something that has hurt you a lot, you need to move on. Our body is temporary, but our spirit moves on. This is dunya but in akhira we will get rewarded and the suffering removes many mistakes that we have made, so al hamdullilah. Sisters stay positive and think about akhira and don't let depression take over your life. Move on if you were a rape victim. The person will recieve his punishment and you will be rewarded insha Allah! May Allah subhanahu wa ta3ala protect us all from the shayateen and remember, before you take a step to getting married, pray salatul istikhara. Allah will expose the evil and bring the good towards you. Your ukht fi deen

[ukhtikumfideen]

"I'm addicted to porn and have been sexually abused by my own uncle."

[This is an AskFm I received from a sister. I tried to answer this to the best of ability and only posting it here in order to benefit others who may be in the same situation.] First of all, may Allah accept your repentance and keep you firm. You already took the first step to stoping this addiction which is to repent. Remember that the Gate of Repentance is open Day and Night as the Hadith says: The Prophet SAAS: "Allah extends His hand at night to accept the repentance of one who has committed sins during the day, and He extends His hand during the day to accept the repentance of one who has committed sins during the night- Until the sun rises from the West." Reported by Muslim (17/76 Nawawi) from the Hadith of Abu Musa AlAsh'ari. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do. (29:45- . Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.) Pray five times a day ON TIME. Remember that the most beloved deed to Allah is prayer on time-as the Hadith says; Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: I asked, “O Messenger of Allah, which deed is best?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Prayer in its proper time.” I asked, “What is next?” The Prophet said, “Righteousness with your parents.” I said, “What is next?” The Prophet said, “Struggling in the cause of Allah.” I became silent and if I had asked him more, he would have told me. Source: Sahih Bukhari 2630, Sahih Muslim 85 Salah protects us against sins so the stronger our focus and connection with Allah during prayer, the harder it will be to fall into temptations. Also try to include the sunnah prayers because that really helps with Imaan (Faith). Remember they are two before Fajr, four before Dhur and two after, none for Asr, two after Maghreb and two after Isha. Tahajjud is amazing- and you can make Dua Allah keeps you firm during the last third of the night which are when duas are answered. Remember this Hadith: On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth's sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him? It was related by al-Bukhari (also by Muslim, Malik, at-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud). In a version by Muslim the Hadith ends with the words: And thus He continues till [the light of] dawn shines. Fast regularly. Remember the Hadith; "Every action of the son of Adam is given manifold reward, each good deed receiving then times its like, up to seven hundred times. Allah the Most High said, 'Except for fasting, for it is for Me and I will give recompense for it, he leaves off his desires and his food for Me.' for the fasting person there are two times of joy; a time when he breaks his fast and a time of joy when he meets his Lord, and the smell coming from the mouth of the fasting person is better with Allah than the smell of musk." [al-Bukhari] Also remember the Quran verse; "Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may attain taqwa." [2:183] Fast on the Sunnah days of Mondays and Thursdays and the white days which are the 13th, 14th & 15th (hijrah calendar). Rasulullah (SAW) told us in an authentic Hadeeth that if we can’t get married, to fast. Fasting cools the passion for sins, but specially this sin. Avoid situations where it’s easy for you to fall into this sin. Limit your data, wifi, computer use, block certain channels and websites, don’t be alone all the time, avoid bad company, and most importantly, avoid music- sins lead to other sins. Think about the times you usually fall into this sin and plan activities to do with friends or family ahead of time. Try to even give the medium you use to trusted friends to avoid the urge of watching porn. Make sure to read up on studies about how harmful porn is to your mental, emotional and social life; knowing the facts might help you stay away from it, insha Allah. Make loads and loads of Dua for yourself. And lastly, get married. Marriage completes half of your deen and will protect you from ALOT of fitnah/sins. Regarding being sexually abused, May Allah grant you patience and justice Ukhti. I would sincerely advice you to speak to someone you trust about this. I can imagine how hard it must be for you but for the sake of your mental well being and moving on from it. The longer you avoid it and try to forget it, the harder it will become upon you. I would advice you to seek justice but first start off by speaking about it. If you can’t speak to your family members or friends about this, go to a counselor AND a person of Islamic knowledge whom you trust. If you’re someone who has been sexually abused, the worse thing you can do is to keep it to yourself- don’t let your thoughts kill you. Whatever happened to you was not your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of. May Allah make your misfortunes accessories for you in this life and the next, may Allah grant you wisdom to serve His Ummah because of your experiences, may Allah grant you gardens beneath which rivers flow and bring you closer, closer, and closer to Him. Ukhtek fideen is only a Kik or an email away sis, salam.

[ukhtikumfideen]

#ModestyTales "I started wearing niqab at 13 and now I'm her sister in law, my best friend brought me closer to islam"

Asalaam wa Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa baraktutu sis you said you would like a hijab story I have one to share: When I was younger I had a best friend who wore hijab and even wore abayah, she always used to tell me to wear hijab and I didn't listen (we used to go to a state school) and then when I was 9 I started wearing the hijab and abayah because she told me to try it, I had other friends who would ask me to take it off because I look better but I always kept it on and never took it off because I loved my best friend soo much, the next year my best friend left and moved to an islamic school even though I wasn't islamic neither was my family I moved there just for her… that's when my journey to islam began, I started wearing niqab at 13 and now I'm her sister in law, my best friend brought me closer to islam alhumdulillah this is why we should all have good friends not the ones who will take you to the wrong path

[ukhtikumfideen]

He "dmed" her about marriage but ended up raping her. A story about a sister who wishes it would make her sisters on twitter more aware.

tbh I think mine would make girls on Twitter see the reality. but basically what happened there was this brother from my area.who I used to follow on Twitter and he had dm'd me before regarding marriage but i declined but then around a year after I kept seeing him around during Ramadan and he dm'd me afterwards, but this time I carried on convo. and then we got to talking like say we were Getting married, and at this point before he started messaging me again my iman was at its highest it's been, it was at a point where I didn't look twice at brothers, but with this Akh I didn't see any bad intentions and I saw him as a potential and then we got to talking like say we were Getting married, after talking for a while we decided to meet up to talk face to face and we did, but even then we didn't make eye contact and we sat far from each other, and even though it was still wrong of us to meet I didn't see him as bad because of it but we decided to meet again but when we did it started to rain really badly, and the park we were at was on his road, so he said I could wait there until the rain calmed down, so I went, still being ignorant and thinking that the akh had no intentions but then once we were inside and sitting he started to be more forceful even though I was against it and he ended up taking my virginity against my will, even though while it happened I was crying and shouting after it happened I ran and didn't even realise what happened till I got home and saw blood obviously after it happened straight away I cut him off completely, but after a few weeks he messaged me saying I should take a pregnancy test, so I did incase and Wallahi I cannot explain how evil he was, as soon as I let him talk to me, he manipulated me to think it was all my fault and that if I didn't stay with him nobody would marry me because nobody wants to be with a girl that lost her virginity by rape so for a month i Carried on talking to him until my friend found out about it all and made me see sense but even now that I don't speak to him, whenever a male come nears me I automatically flinch and marriage has become something I don't wanna ever do I just think all sisters should be extremely careful with what brothers they talk to online, because a lot of them deceive and make you believe they're something you're not.

[iftotherah]

Your Sister in Deen

As salamu aleikum warahmatullah wabarakatu.

If you are a female (Muslim or non muslim) and you are looking for inspiration from fellow females, then follow @UkhtikumFiDeen on twitter.

Lots of advice is given and shared about problems that young muslim women and even non-Muslim women face today. If you are someone who is holding on to Islam by a thread and need that extra strength to hold on or…

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[ukhtikumfideen]

An emotional email from a sister about love..

Assalamu alaykum first of all i didnt know who to approach or speak to, this issue has always been a problem iv kept hidden, locked away and out of sight. I feel that with the permission of Allah azza wajal, i can loosen this heavy burden iv been carrying for so long through sharing it with you and any sister who reads this. My story is not one which craves sympathy but one which seeks to be the cause of change to its teller and also its target audience. Even now i feel ashamed in speaking of it, because the topic is so tabooed amongst our community, as muslims regardless as to what race we originate from, we dont speak against it. The issue is marriage and the fitnah that arises through rejection n disapproval given by parents. What parents fail to see is the damage their refusals to marry their daughters off to respectable men causes, the fire it makes and also the destruction it leaves. I think that one paragraph narrates my issue, my parents rejected a brother of good character purely because of the tribe he was and its because of that iv struggled with many different things.. the fitnah behind speaking to some one for a long period hurts. its like playing with fire, it burns, but hearing your parents say no purely because of worldly things hurts even more. its like the healing process of a scalding burn. i think thats the smallest bit iv struggled with. Trying to get over it all, the disappointment and heart ache, the dangers of questioning the Qadr of Allah and the poisonous touch between two which Allah has not made halaal to each other are all things which i regret committing and stating openly, but hope in doing so it helps other sisters who are more fortunate than my self. Someone in that situation can either fall into kufr or Zina wal ciyaadu billah We live in a world where marriage is made difficult and zina is made easy, may Allah forgive our short comings. and rectify the affairs of our parents, wallahi i love my parents, there isn a hair on either of their heads which i dont love and adore, my parents are the beauty of this world in my eyes, but its because of their values and swift decision that i nearly lost out in the beauty of the akhira and love of Allah. All i ask of you sisters is to make dua for me and my current situation, to also publicise this so others can benefit, and to also make dua for all our parents. oh and please dont publicise the email insha Allah, blur it out lol I know i have summed it all up really quickly with out stating the issue properly, i really didn know how to come out with it with out degrading my self. many may backbite me even though i am anonymous, know that i have shamed my self infront of Allah first and have repented for the cause of this shame. I will not forgive any who use this as a means of mockery. I ask Allah to unite me n Jannahtul firdousil Alaa with all those who make dua for me in their most intimate supplications, when their supplications is of a whisper between them and their Lord or in the comfort of sajdah. Barakallahu feekum.

[ukhtikumfideen]

#ModestyTales : A 16 year old sister's Niqab Story

my niqab story, Im a 16 year old Asian Muslim girl, and my journey to wearing a niqab was very spiritual, and forever memorable. :) i was living in America, and ever since just the age of 7, i always prayed 5 times a day and was good, but we all know how its like these days.. Being the 'modern Muslim' is acceptable. I wore a hijab with shirts and jeans :p from age 8 to age 11.. And seeing my sisters wearing the abaya to school and all, i began wearing too, but only to school. Id wear our traditional dress with no hijab at all everywhere else :D but Then certain circumstances had us moving back to our home country, and that's when my journey started. In the beginning, i was just enjoying the new country, no abaya to be seen, and a simple scarf placed on my head, lol not even wrapped. But anyway, this was going on for a year. After that i decided to wear full on hijab, but sadly i would end up styling it, as it was a normal thing to do. the abaya was on and off, as i went to school and had to wear a uniform.. I would wear it wherever it would be suitable like shopping. This went for another 2 years. But then i got tired of all this.. It would take hours dressing up. And take the rest of the day constantly fixing the hijab if it got 'out of place'. It was frustrating.. I didn't want to care so much! And not to mention my prayers would get disturbed as i constantly thought of how many guys looked at me, or this and that.. Then school began to be a real problem. Although i was shy and nvr had a slip-up of my morals, boys always bothered me, stalked me till my home even! It was really just disturbing. I eventually left school, and started home schooling instead. I was really depressed about staying home, as i would not be able to get out as often. But THIS is what changed my life, and i only know it now! I wanted to get closer to Allah, to get through my depressions, to just find peace. By now i wore abaya and hijab everywhere. But that just didn't cut it for me.. I still got the same attention. i did not want to sin, because i knew my gaze would wander if i got such attention. Soon enough, Allah gave me a solution. My sister introduced to me the niqab, the miracle, my peace. It was as if i was invisible, like i would get my work done with zero disturbances.. Finallyy! To make such changes was Alhamdulilla very easy for me because i had 2 other sisters who went through the same phases as me. We were always together where ever we would go, and it was easy to be bold. People who knew us from before looked at us with respect, respect for our brave decision. Im proud of myself and how much i have evolved! It all took time, but i finally got the peace i was looking for. Because no guy wants to bother the 'too good girl', i mean there was no fun in that right? Heck, i say that's just GREAT! This is a part of me now, my identity. Tbh, i have the choice to go back to USA, along with my new identity.. But in these great countries.. Just the simple word niqab can create so much unnecessary arguments and conflicts.. I jst love my niqab so much..idk if i want to purposely get myself in that mess.. The fact that I might have to second guess my decision is just way too much for me to handle. This piece of cloth sisters, changed my life! It made my faith strong in so many levels, its just unexplaniable! Its my protection, my reminder to be aware of my actions, and i won't doubt tht this very well acts as a reminder to the brothers as well SubhanAllah! Thanks for reading my story :) may Allah guide us all.

[ukhtikumfideen]

A VERY beautiful and emotional email about Niqab.

Assalaamu'alaykum, I'm a sister who went through pretty dramatic changes in appearance within the space of a few months. I went from wearing tight-fitted abaya's to a loose jilbab to wearing a jilbab and niqab. My parents have done so much for me, I could never explain in words, nor could I ever repay them. The thing I am most grateful for, is the fact that although I do not come from a practising family, they made sure we prayed our 5 prayers, Alhamdulillah. Almost a year and a half ago, when I had made the decision of wearing the abayya, they were thrilled, Alhamdulillah. But gradually, they were not very pleased with what I made the choice to wear. Even before I had made the choice of wearing the niqab, the one thing that kept putting me off it, was the job problem. I'd think of all the possible problems and then leave the niqab issue. But one day, something just hit me. And I just felt so strongly about the niqab. I had so much doubt about wearing it without my parents permission, so I needed to clear it. I decided to go on youtube, and just see the different opinions of niqab with their evidences. I watched 2 or 3 videos, and literally said to myself "I'm going to wear it tomorrow". But I didn't want to be in my parents bad books. My parents are not evil, their just very concerned about what will happen with me career wise and being-abused-by-strangers wise lol. I went to my mother and said to her, "please don't be upset with me, I'm going to start wearing the niqab". Alhamdulillah, there were no arguments or anything (previously when I had asked whether I could where it, there were), she listened and continued with what she was doing. I didn't tell any of my friends about my decision, my biggest concern was just making sure I stuck to it. The niqab has been the best decision I have made. All my life, the decisions I made were expected of me to do, and I had my families support; e.g. The hijab, the abayya. I cannot explain, I feel so happy and content. In the past few days, things have been getting tense at home. I had overheard my father speaking about my niqab, and wanting me to take it off for a job. He also mentioned that I drastically changed in 2/3 months, and suggested that I may becoming extreme. Almost every relative that walks into my house, tries to persuade me to take the niqab off for a job (I am happy looking for a job, I know many places where they are happy to take on niqaabi's, however my family specifically want me to get into jobs where I would need to take off my niqab). I know that if I talk, it may be used against me, as disagreeing with elders is looked down upon in my culture, so I decide to stay quiet and listen to what they have to say. Before I wore the niqab, I thought it'd be the non-muslims reactions that'd hurt me the most. It's not. The thing that hurts me most is my families words. How they mock me. How they consider me to be extreme. How I'd just be in my room, and I'd overhear my parents arguing about what they should do with me. How I'd be hit by a stranger outside, only to come home realising that there's nobody I'd be able to give me motivational words, because they'd just tell me "I told you so, this is why you should take it off". The niqab, confuses people. Once upon a time, it used to confuse me too. When I wasn't wearing the niqab, I didn't realise how much a salaam to a sister, could make her feel so much better. But I realise it now. I remember the first ever time I got hit by a man, who came from behind. I was literally so confused at first. But then I started crying. Alhamdulillah, don't worry I've got thicker skin now loool, but since it was my first encounter, I was just so confused that I was so oblivious of the fact that niqabi's went through this. But guess what made my day? As I walked on, a sister's face broke into a huge smile... "Assalaamu'alaykum!!!!"... That's what made my day. A salaam I always took for granted. 'May peace and blessings be upon you'. Thats what we're ultimately aiming for. We have Allah. He is all we need. He will suffice us. And He will make us taste a sweetness we've never felt before. I don't want to give the niqab up, because I'm so excited to show my niqab to Allah, and show Him what I sacrificed for His sake. I'm so excited to know that I at least have one thing that I went out of my way to do for Him, even though many people around me consider me "extreme". SubhanAllah, I know this wasn't even a question. But I feel so much happier after letting it out. Jazakillahu khairan for coming up with this. May Allah (swt) feed you from the fruits of Jannah, and may He grant you happiness both in this world and the hereafter, and may He grant you, near Him, a house in Paradise.