ya know what I never actually introduced myself when I popped over here to start posting ffxiv so with the new influx of people from twitter, uh, hi o/
I'm Anakin (Ana is also fine), you may refer to me with whatever pronouns you feel like, I adore talking about my funny little blorbos more than anything
feel free to follow me if you like shit posting and memes! and you're always welcome to arrive in my ask box and dms to tell me about your blorbos too! and pls like so I know who to follow too <3
A quick Drakyr shot for a BSky meme 💙 As I mentioned there, I'm using her RDM glam for WAR and it works incredibly well! She's just a few levels shy of having all combat classes to 100 and she's gonna look great doing it.
Kaith furrowed her eyebrows. "Well... what did it say? 'I hate my daughter and I should hand her off to the nearest loser as punishment for being lame?'"
The blunt hyperbole drew a snort from T'kebbe's nose. Once she realized Kaith was being serious, however, she shook her head and chose to dig further.
"Just the opposite, really. It was proof he loved me more than anything in the world, and I couldn't be more grateful to Giddion for bringing it to me."
"That... doesn't make sense," said Kaith. "If he loved you, why would you wanna be adopted? Wouldn't he eventually come back for you?"
A tired, bitter laugh escaped T'kebbe's lips. In retrospect, the sweetness of Kaith's innocence only highlighted the implied poison in the negative. The excuse to assign her worth based on her parents' lack of action...
"I thought the exact same thing, actually. I thought I had done something wrong, or made my parents hate me somehow. I mean, I've seen some of the other parents be awful to their kids before the kids became orphans, so I guess I learned that's what happens when you're a bad kid. Because my parents always came back from their hunts before sunset, so when they didn't come home after several weeks..."
Even as she spoke about the lowest point in her life, T'kebbe couldn't help think of Khloe. That Twelve-Blessed girl sat next to her in the pouring rain and spun stories about adventure and heroism with an ever-bright smile that could never fade. Her heart-rate goes up, ever so slightly, and a slight rosiness came to her cheeks. But, that wasn't the story she wanted to tell.
"Well, I stopped waiting at the edge of Idyllshire. But it was like... a bone that healed wrong. I mean, if my own parents said they loved me, but then abandoned me with a smile on their face? Then who's to say Zhloe or Khloe or Miss Rowena wouldn't do the same thing? Even Giddion wasn't immune-- actually, he's the one who kept leaving with a smile on his face! Over and over! And when I begged him to come back? He would have this guilty look and avoid making any promises!"
Kaith nodded along, knowing that her father was the kind of flaky asshole to do that kind of thing. Well, he rarely failed to deliver on a promise he made, but she did notice that Giddion was the kind of guy who would never make a promise just to reassure someone. Maybe that made his promises carry more weight, since everyone knew they could trust him to follow through on it, but ultimately, he made no effort to soothe a child that was worried about him. And that was the takeaway that Kaith had from T'kebbe's story.
But her story wasn't over yet.
"Then... one day, without any warning, he made a promise. 'I will find your parents.' And I was... afraid to hope. He wouldn't have said that if he wasn't sure he could find them, but at the same time... they had a reason for leaving me, didn't they? What if they told Giddion, and he didn't come back? What if he did come back, and he convinced everyone else to leave me? I'm sure I sound crazy to you, but... that's really what I thought might happen."
A lump formed in the back of Kaith's throat. She may have been the world's biggest Giddion hater, but even she couldn't imagine her father being that cruel. There was too much disconnect from the smiling, bumbling idiot that couldn't be serious to save his life, and the coldness required to rip a child's life apart like that. It was the first time in her young life that she realized someone other than her father could be wrong about something, but she couldn't vocalize it. She felt the wrongness burn in the back of her mouth, but something kept her interjection buried.
"And then he came back with the journal. He gave it to me for me to read... I'm glad he couldn't read it, because no responsible adult would ever let a kid my age read something that raw," T'kebbe chuckled.
"He couldn't read it?" asked Kaith. "Was it in another language, or something?"
"No, Giddion used to be illiterate. He couldn't read it at all."
Kaith stood up. "How old was he?!"
"Uh... mid-thirties, I think?"
Kaith's jaw dropped, but T'kebbe brushed it off. "Point is, I got to read it all. The fear my parents shared when they learned I was coming. The days mom felt guilty for regretting me. The nights my father wished he could run away from it all, because 'if I never hear that fucking baby crying again, it'll be too soon.' How much of a burden it was to take care of me. It was all exactly what I was afraid of. For several nights, I stopped reading because I was crying too hard. I even stopped eating food altogether for a bit."
Kaith's shoulders dropped. That lump in her throat melted into hot shame throughout her body. She knew her father would never be cruel on purpose, but to give someone a journal without knowing what was in it... that was very much in-character for him. The animosity toward her father burned to a new degree of righteousness.
"I'm glad I kept reading."
T'kebbe could see the anger burning in her little sister's face, and she appreciated it. Unfortunately for Kaith, that's exactly what T'kebbe was hoping for, and the confusion on her face hooked her for the last leg of the story.
"Soon enough... I had my first words. 'Papa,' of course. Then I was walking. Then I was drawing little portraits, and I was trying to read my father's incredibly difficult books, and my mother dressed me up in pink clothes that matched our hair. The change was so... gradual, that I had no choice but to accept it as authentic. And on the final entry, stained with his blood, with a shaky hand, he cursed the Twelve. He cursed the Twelve for sending that horrid hunt to kill them, he cursed the Twelve for taking his love away from him... and more than anything else, he cursed the Twelve that I would be left alone. His only wish was for someone to come to my rescue, to bring a smile to my face in a way he would never again be able to. He... died mid sentence, but, his message was clear enough. I was a fool to think mom or him would ever abandon me."
Kaith wasn't sure when the tears started, but when T'kebbe finished her story, she gave her big sister the tightest, most loving squeeze her little arms could manage. The story was so sad, that even when it was happy, it just made her more sad. Her emotions were far too strong for her, so she simply let them out with hics and sobs while T'kebbe tenderly stroked her hair. It felt weird, being consoled by the person who went through so much, but her sister's story struck a nerve in a way Kaith couldn't anticipate. An invisible blockage cleared out, and the tears flowed freely as a result.
"I'm not the biggest fan of how you call Dad a good-for-nothing," T'kebbe admits. "But, it's not my place to tell you how to feel. He's done a lot of stupid things, and his go-to move is to act like a clown. Trust me, he gets on everyone's nerves. But when you're at your lowest... I have faith he'll pull through for you."
"... And what if he's the reason I'm at my lowest in the first place?" Kaith snapped. "You said it yourself, he hurts people so easily without even knowing it. Mom was..."
Kaith felt her veins pulse slightly when she mentioned her mother. In a split second, a primal anger washed over her. Her words died out, unable to grasp the nebulous concept of old memories floating around in the primordial soup of her young brain. There was something there, something Kaith couldn't quite remember, but it felt equal parts foundational as it was obfuscated. The lack of clarity only angered her further, which was a shame, because now T'kebbe was interested in her story.
"Kaith...?"
"I don't wanna talk to you anymore," Kaith said, hopping off of the bench. The truth was, she knew she was going to explode in an incoherent mess, and she didn't want T'kebbe to look at her like she was stupid. She had to calm down and bottle that anger back up before it made a nasty mess of things, so Kaith used every conversation killer she could think of. Eventually she broke into a sprint, ran to her room, locked the door shut, and screamed into a pillow while T'kebbe banged at the door. Eventually, T'kebbe gave up, and Kaith was too exhausted to think about how angry she was. All she could do was sleep.
When deep in thought, focused on a difficult project or problem Flidais has a habit of subconsciously tugging at or playing with her long ears. She does similar when flustered and blushing while talking to pretty ladies
Am I just not following the right people or did the other Fanfest Berlin news overshadow the BIG news that we might soon get about HOUSING??
Like... Yoshi-P is implying some possibly insane stuff to happen that we will "be much happier about". I feel like, if it were just more wards, he'd simply say so. And for simply a new area, he wouldn't have mentioned WoW.
Am I the only one outside of some people on Twitter being all 👀👀👀 about this?
why are we back here again @uldahstreetrat - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
