kid is fucked UP
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we're not kids anymore.
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@umbrarenascitur
kid is fucked UP
excuse you miss this is an E10 game
The best quote of the whole game.
concept doodle i did a lil bit ago :00 tumblr’s quality is shit
Fights // Xion + Vanitas
“Why are you always like this?” his words stung. They sliced through what little defenses she had. With each statement, her heart ached, mind whirling wondering if what he was saying was true of her. Was she being selfish for trying to help him? Was it selfish to care for a person that has been around since childhood?
Xion shook her head. No, she wasn’t going to believe that she was helping him out just for her own sake. There were people out there that cared for this guy, even if the number was low. The Sora. If anything were to happen to his older brother, the boy would be devastated.
Yes, she was doing this for him. Yes, she was selfish because Xion didn’t want to see her friend’s brother hurt or in trouble but she was also doing it for Sora.
She ran up to the other but stopped just a few steps behind, afraid he might suddenly turn around. “You always push me away. If you think I’m being selfish by trying to be there for you, then you’re just as selfish for pushing me away!” She was frustrated. Xion knew better than to rile herself up over his stupid words, he’s done this in the past, so why is this time bothering her so much? Maybe it was because he was injured, he was bleeding and possibly in a serious state.
“Get your head out of your ass for once and stop acting like you don’t want anyone around!”
She stopped dead cold in the middle of her rant. The realization had sunk in too late for her. She began to talk without thinking and now–now she was in serious trouble. Xion always made sure to never talk like that. Especially, to Vanitas. She did want to live, after all.
Though she hushed herself to a forced and terrified silence, Xion still kept her stance. Her head was up, her lips in a thin line to keep from quivering. Maybe now was a good time to run.
◣ In Vanitas' young life, he had met many kinds of manipulative people. They all ranged from blatantly cruel, merciless creatures like his father, to intoxicatingly sweet and kind people who wait until your usefulness has run dry before stabbing you in the back. Despite how he downplayed the weight of what his words were trying to say, he meant every one of them.
He was using them as a weapon, forcing Xion away with the blade of his voice. The intensity of his anger had yet to boil over, the teen preferring to simmer in his default of amusement and sharp verbal jabs. It was where he was comfortable, lingering in the shadow of isolation behind the bright red hatred he held towards the world. He hated people. He hated this life.
He hated when people tried to shove themselves onto the path he set before himself, that he wished only to travel alone without interference from those he considered lesser or useless. The irony of why he was like this in the first place was not lost on him.
Bright, glittering amber eyes twisted as his bloodied body turned on a dime. He caught her shining, innocent and pleading gaze and held it. Fury writhed beneath his skin like the burning of his wounds and he struggled to keep it in check. Her blatant disrespect for the line he had drawn in the sand was like a slap in the face, and for a moment he looked just as terrifying as how the thugs from earlier saw him.
It resembled nothing less than a dark wrath on the brink of descending.
Jaw muscles knotted and released, his teeth grinding as he struggled to keep his anger from running rampant. If this were any other kid- any other person who dared treat him like this, he wouldn't hesitate to retaliate. Very rarely did he actively seek out to vent his frustrations; many of his infamous fights had begun merely because of a snide remark or insult thrown.
He refused to resort to his father's tactics and favorite forms of 'stress relief'.
However, many who knew him had no idea about this unspoken vow. Many had even less information about him personally. It was unheard of by those who had heard his reputation to speak so brashly against him; afraid of the possible consequences that the teen would enact against them, therefore one more thing could not be ignored about this situation.
It took a shit ton of guts to stand up to him, let alone have a spine enough to yell at him, of all things. It pissed him off, but he couldn't deny that it was impressive. Xion had known him for a very long time. That didn't mean he would just let it slide, though.
Moments passed as his split knuckles tensed repeatedly, fists clenching as he silently and carefully found the words he wanted.
"Assumptions seem to be your thing, tonight." He said finally, an icy clip to his words.
"To assume I act the way I do simply to keep people away? Hah." Though he wasn't horribly taller than her, he allowed himself to lean forward, ensuring she could do nothing but stare him in the eye as he spoke.
"Who I hate and avoid most are pretenders, the ones who act better than the people who are true to their nature. And the people I hate are beneath me, and I will not cater to the selfish whims of those whom think they can call me friend." He paused, lifting his left hand speckled in tiny flecks of red to point at her.
"Think of all the reasons why and discard them, for you will never be able to fathom what it is I despise about this world of ours, or why your attempts to ‘fix’ me piss me off."
As he finished speaking, he straightened up- fully prepared to turn and stalk away from her regardless of her irritating rantings. but as the deathly quiet rage began to boil down to a simmer... an unexpected wave of dizziness struck him on the side of the head like an avalanche. He visibly teetered without even taking a step. An arm reached out to balance himself on the building they stood beside while the other reached up to his temple. That was unexpected.
What was more unexpected, which drew his scowl out into a frown, was the coating of crimson on right hand as he brought it near his face. A glance down confirmed his light headed speculation. He'd been more than just cut and bruised. He’d been stabbed. ◥
[x]
Fights // Xion + Vanitas
risingxtides:
His tone was sharp, the words slicing through the girl. A twinge of remorse from assuming that the boy had started the fight washed over her. Xion had practically grew up around Vanitas, being that he was Sora’s older brother. She knew him for starting fights but it seems like tonight he was the victim instead. Victim of the jump and to Xion’s accusations.
Her eyes fell to the floor, her voice waned to silence. She didn’t want to meet the other’s piercing gaze. He was already injured and in a foul mood, a combo deadly to anyone that would dare cross this boy’s path. Sure, the girl was a bit afraid but that didn’t stop her from caring.
“Either way…” she began, her voice barely audible. Her best option was to leave, to stop bothering him. Yet she couldn’t. No, she wouldn’t leave him. It was her final decision. “I’m not going to stop ‘harassing’ you and I’m not going to leave either.” Slowly, the girl found her courage once more. She just had to remind herself; he’s Sora’s brother, if Xion cared for him, well she would care for Vanitas too. “You’re hurt, Vanitas. Let me help. I can’t leave you like this.”
◣ A dark feeling of satisfaction settled itself in his gut when Xion's soft blue eyes turned downwards, clear regret written on her face like words in a book. She had been friends with his little brother Sora since they were little, so it stood to reason that Vanitas himself had known her just as long- though he really didn't care. She bugged too much, always piping up and irritating him and somehow still clinging to the idea he could be her friend just like Sora was.
It irritated him, but he also knew how stubborn the kid was; and though that pissed him off even more, a grudging respect came with the fact that no matter how many times he'd threatened her or yelled at her to leave, she always somehow managed to bounce back like a paddle-ball to bug him again. That honestly took balls.
He snorted, his lip curling for a moment in a half scowl, half grimace, before pushing past her to leave the alley. Standing on the sidewalk, the teen took a moment to pop his neck and knuckles, allowing his tense muscles to loosen. Though he hadn't seen it, Vanitas was pretty sure one of those guys had a knife during the fight. He was bleeding in a fair amount of places, but he'd be damned if he let Xion get her way.
"You say you 'can't leave me like this', but the reality is that you can. You just won't leave me the hell alone, only to satisfy the little voice in your head that thinks you'll feel bad if you just kept walking." His tone was piercingly sardonic. Honestly he found her pitiful attempts at ‘kindness’ amusing. It was always fun to make her type question their resolve.
"Most people call the cops when they see a fight. Others just keep walking. Only the idiots who want to please that little voice in their head ignore both those options and try and 'do a good deed' by fixing it themselves. Those kinds of people are the worst kind. Thinking they’re good people when in reality, they just do it for their own selfish reasons."
He threw a burning golden glance over his shoulder, the mocking tune of his voice clear in the silence of the night, the last few words he carefully emphasized. He couldn’t help a little smirk that wasn’t at all pleasant.
“So tell me, which are you going to be?” ◥
New beginnings :: 1st prompt
Life is an odd thing, and so is our perception of time and how it passes. A moment can seem a lifetime, and a lifetime can seem a moment. ‘Where did our time go?’ We’ll all wonder at least once in our lives, looking back on our histories to try and fit the missing puzzle piece in that would justify who we are now, in the present. A split second decision in our past could blossom into something totally unexpected in our future, and we’ll feel that lifetime when it happens.
Some people believe that our perception of time is our subconscious trying to give deeper meaning to our decisions. That second, moments before you're mauled by a beast, your brain screaming to turn and run, or find some kind of weapon, and the reaction it causes- it determines whether you live or die. The twenty years you spent behind laboring away in a pitiful life, wishing you had decided to take the time to travel rather than picking the ‘safe route’ felt like no time had passed. You felt older, sure, but some believe that it’s your mind telling you that you’ve failed, that your perception is punishing you for your failure to explore your horizons.
Personally I think it’s a load of bullshit.
Your mind does weird things when you’re stressed or excited. When you’re pumped full of adrenaline or the blood drains from your cheeks in terror. I don’t think the reason we perceive moments in our lives as longer than they are or shorter than they should be is because of some subliminal message our brain is trying to send us, telling us we’re fucked if we do or fucked if we don’t.
It doesn’t matter what your decision in those moments are. One way or another, you’re screwed. That creature threatening your life? You turned and ran, but the beast followed you home. More than one person died. You fought, but you were vastly overpowered, and you died anyway.
You decided to travel to a foreign land; you still ended up at your soul crushingly boring life back in your boring home.
How we feel these moments in our lives isn’t to give us time to react, or to lament on time lost-
It’s to provide our minds with something to reflect on, later. If you survived the beast’s attack, you look back and go through ten different scenarios where you thought you could’ve prevented what happened. You think ‘it happened only in an instant, but it felt like years! Surely I could’ve done something.’ But the reality of it?
Nothing would’ve changed. It doesn’t feel like hour pass in a single second when the act takes place in real time. You can look back on it later and feel that way, sure. But the reality of the situation is that in that moment, you were fucked either way. The reverse is also true.
Ten years can feel like nothing, but only if you look back on it and think so. Those three hundred and sixty-five days sure felt long as hell when you were living them.
Reflection and perception go hand in hand, and make our lives seem strange and deceptive, giving us things to think about that don’t exactly make sense, but we’re curious about anyway.
Dreams are a good example.
Have you ever had a dream where you’ve died? Or almost died? The memory stuck with you, I bet. It stuck with you and you couldn’t shake it, no matter how you tried. You look back on this memory of a dream and wonder how in the world such a thing could’ve taken place in the short span of time between the time you went to bed at night, and woke up in the morning.
Of course that’s usually a nightmare, and people like to dwell on those.
Now imagine a… happy dream, I guess. When you wake up, more often than not it’s nothing more than a sweet feeling in the back of your mind. You can’t exactly recall why you feel like that or where it came from, but you relish in the moment before continuing on your way. You’re not sure why you can’t remember that split second of bliss, but it’s alright. You feel like the rest of the day will go your way, no matter what.
Honestly I’ve never had one of those dreams, which brings me to the point of all this.
How we perceive time and our decisions has no bearing on what our fates are- reality twists to these perceptions, because our perception is our reality. The realities of time, of our dreams, of our memories, intertwine to make us who we are.
But then again, what is perception when you’re getting the shit beat out of you? Can you force your mind to feel happiness in place of terror? Can you will away pain, simply by refusing to let it enter your ‘reality’?
Dreams are bizarre.
For most people, I guess they’re escapes from their usual reality. Their present lives that they endure day in and day out.
For me, they’re nothing more than a continuation of this bullshit excuse for a life.
Sometimes I’m glad I was born as a being of darkness. Most times I despise it- for in my nightmares, the light is not only the enemy; it is my salvation.
I can’t perceive my life of anger and hatred away. I tried once, but that hadn’t worked out that well. These days, I embrace it. I am a being born of these emotions.
I am who I am because of the reality I was dealt, and as I stand here separated from but eternally bound to those I despise. I will continue to keep my reality under my control, without any idiots to keep me from getting what I want.
The pathetic loser I fought here in the Graveyard is one of those said idiots, but I swear for as long as wind howls like the cries of the dead souls scattered like shattered memories in this wasteland, I will ensure our destinies end as they should. A new beginning for all things will lay in our wake, just as my birth was the beginning of our path.
*****************
Golden eyes blink open, staring up at the dark and cracked ceiling of the rundown apartment he lived in. Dreams rarely came to him in place of nightmares, but tonight it had felt surreal and life like, as though the scene of him standing over a destroyed battlefield ages old had been real...
It felt as though no more than moments had passed during the dream, but as he pulled him to his feet to start the new day; he felt like there had been more to it than he what met his inner eye.
questions about your character.
♥ - What does ‘love’ mean to them? ♠ - What are they afraid of? ♦ - What is one thing about them that they are most proud of? ♣ - What is one thing that they find embarrassing? (About them, others, things in general) ★ - Do they prefer daytime or nighttime and why? ☾- Are they prone to nightmares or dreamless sleep? ☼ - Something that/Someone who makes them happy. ☁ - If they’re caught out in the rain how do they react? ♪ - Are they musically inclined? ♫ - What kind of music do they enjoy? ✓ - How do they react to praise? ✕ - How do they handle rejection? ☺ - Do they prefer sour or sweet treats? ❄ - Favorite season and why? ☮ - Do they have an idol or someone they look up to? ❤ - Do they have a love interest? ✖ - Who is someone they just cannot stand? ♔ - Do they value loyalty? ♕ - Do they trust easily?
Fights // Xion + Vanitas
Xion watched as the man left, a sigh escaping her lips as he soon became out of sight. She was worried for two reasons; 1) what if those guys decide to call the cops and 2) what if Vanitas was seriously hurt? Just because the other was rude to her all the time doesn’t mean that she still cared. He is Sora’s brother after all.
“Aren’t you a little too old to be getting into petty fights?” She retorted, ignoring his last comment. She didn’t care if she was being rude to the other, the boy was tough enough to handle her comments. What irritated her was just how reckless he was in general.
“Honestly, Vanitas, don’t you ever think of the consequences? You could’ve gotten seriously hurt! Or even arrested.”She was now closer to him, her frown and glare looking up at the taller one. She knew there was no way getting through to him, but she was still willing to try.
◣ As the adrenaline drained his system, he subconsciously began noting the areas of pain that flared up. He couldn't yet tell how serious some were, but as the younger girl's voice rose all the while approaching him, he found it difficult to care for the bleeding and bruised areas of his body.
The vague nonchalant air of sarcasm dropped instantly, his amber eyes turning to look her blue ones dead on. A glare almost as intense as the one he dealt his attackers previously was joined by his sharp reply.
"Don't you dare try and scold me. To assume you know something you don't, is to claim stupidity and ignorance." Very nearly a snarl, Vanitas felt justified in his anger. Though his adrenaline had drained, those tiny fires of warm pain felt snuffed in the face of Xion’s infuriating assumptions.
For once, he hadn't picked this fight. In fact today had been one that many people might call productive- he'd gotten off work only a little while before when those two thugs had made the worst decision of their night. Weapons and numbers be damned.
"I didn't pick this fight, and if anyone was going to be arrested tonight, it was them for trying to pick a fight with me. Go find something better to do than harass me, kid."
His anger masked the growing feeling of warmth that stuck to the inside of his jacket, spreading from a tear in the leather just below his rib cage. ◥
Fights // Xion + Vanitas
> umbrarenascitur
It was dark. The store had closed and Xion was on her way home. Hood on, hands shoved in her pockets, the girl tried to get home quietly. That didn’t really work out. She didn’t see what happened at first, she heard it instead. The sound of grunts and scuffling.
She hesitated to even continue her way down that path, she didn’t want to get caught up and injured but she didn’t want to backtrack, that would take even longer. It took her a moment to decide but when she did it was to keep moving.
She just had to peek through the alley and see what was going on. What she saw made her really mad. It seemed that the fight was just ending, Vanitas was standing - well hovering- over a guy who was groaning on the floor. It looked like he was done but Xion never knew what Vanitas had planned.
“Vanitas!” Xion made her way towards the other, not caring for her safety. She was infuriated that he was fighting and putting himself in danger by causing fights. Vanitas didn’t need any more visits from the police.
“What were you thinking?!”
◣ A half moon hung in the sky, surrounded by stars with the calm breeze occasionally drifting below them. The streets were quiet, stores were closed, and the street lights gave vision to those whom stuck to the sidewalk.
But they didn’t provide nearly enough light to reveal the fight before it reached the end of the alley. Already the second man had run off, scared for his life and caring little for his companion; they had chosen the wrong teen to try and jump.
With the remaining guy flat on his back, groaning and grasping his broken nose, Vanitas felt the vibration of adrenaline surge through him over and over, his breath coming in sharp blasts through his nose. Golden eyes were intense. Furious.
Deadly.
But then a soft voice turned rough called his name, and sheer surprise made him turn, his expression just as unpleasant for a split second before he masked it with his usual stoic irritation.
He stepped away from the man, kicking his leg. Not enough to injure. Too much, at least. But it was enough to get the man struggling to his feet before stumbling awkwardly after his partner. Vanitas didn’t give himself much time to contemplate the thoughts that had been making a circuit in his head moments before.
“I was thinking that those idiots didn’t have a lick of sense.” He replied, running the back of his hand over his upper lip, swiping away the blood that continued to trickle from his nose.
“Not like it’s any of your business, Xion. Isn’t it a bit late for you to be out here nitpicking me?” ◥
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
waits for more people to fill RI up before doing anything
Aqua let out a ‘tch’ at his taunts– he was right, though, she did have half a mind to take a completely different route, but she had places to go as well and that would take extra time. His accusation sent her reeling, though, and she grit her teeth to prevent an outburst before replying.
“I’m the one with the problem? You’re the one who needs an attitude adjustment, you turned into a huge bully–” She was cut off as he decided to go for a dangerous jaywalking excursion, and for a moment she felt a brief panic as he narrowly escaped death. She may not have liked him even being around her but that didn’t mean she wanted him to die.
Her glare intensified the moment she saw him wait and it was then Aqua knew he had been baiting her for a reaction, and the moment she could cross she did and she strode right past him, but that didn’t stop her from commenting to him.
“You shouldn’t test your luck so often.”
◣ Ignoring her lectures and protests always brought satisfaction to Vanitas, but one of his favorite things was to simply shock her out of her words. She was one of his least favorite kinds of people; someone who claimed to care, and who threw around the word 'friend' only to ditch them later on. She had this ridiculous habit of acting like she cared, and the look on her face when he deliberately threw caution to the wind was simply priceless.
He was used to being reckless. Used to getting into bad situations and, more often than not, fighting his way out of them on his own. Having a moment of daredevil and ignoring a crosswalk sign was the lesser of some of his actions, and it was amusing to see how shocked she was when he did it. But a small part of him wondered if she had been hoping for that truck to plow him into red paste.
Probably.
He kept an even expression on as she walked by, taking in her glare for all that it was worth and even offering an arrogant little twitch to his lips. Turning on the spot, he continued to walk alongside her.
"Luck has nothing to do with it." He said in reply, his arms dropping to shove his hands into his pockets.
"I survive on my own terms, not because some unseen force said so, and not because someone took pity on me." His words held a hidden accusation and his expression darkened, eyes only for the path ahead.
He fell silent. ◥
[text] I feel like you’re pretending I didn’t bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a “comfy place to sit”
[text] you say that like i *dont* pretend that i dont owe you shit[text] those assholes wouldnt let me skitch their ride[text] so i made the most of what i had
Aqua kept walking, and she knew she should ignore his taunts but she couldn’t help but give him a scathing reply. “I don’t think ‘old friends’ is the term I’d use for us, anymore.” She picked up the pace but to her chagrin, so did he, and she looked forward, hellbent on not listening to anything he had to say.
She didn’t reply to him for a while, not until they were stuck at a crosswalk. This was strange– usually she didn’t have to evade him since he usually ignored her, and she knew his interest meant nothing good. Aqua scowled back at him, looking back at the crosswalk sign which was still a red hand.
“Can’t you walk somewhere else?” Aqua sighed, before crossing her arms. “What do you want, Vanitas? If it’s a rise out of me you’ve clearly already gotten it.”
◣ He decided not to reply to her first comment. It's not like it really bothered him. Vanitas had known for a while now that what they are- what they /were, was nowhere near the distant lands of 'friendship'. And he was fine with that; fuck her and her elitist, overachieving ways.
Why was he tagging along with her again?
They walked on, him enjoying the ability to make her feel uncomfortable and irritated, and her being exactly that. Stone cold silence stretched between them and he wondered how long it would be until she told him to fuck off again. Which, wouldn't be long he realized as they slowed to a crosswalk.
"Why can't you walk somewhere else? I've got places to be." He snorted without looking at her.
"I don't want anything. You're the one with the problem, and I don't think it's me. But-" He glanced at her this time, his expression and tone unreadable. "If my presence really bothers you that much..."
Trailing off, he strode forward into the street; the bright red hand still blazing above him as he casually avoided two oncoming cars. Ignoring them, he stopped on the opposite side and leaned back against the street light pole, glancing back towards Aqua with an unidentifiable glint in his eyes.
For some reason, he simply waited.◥