STRONGER & SMARTER THAN EVER .ᐟ

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‘ — everyone here calls me 𝓟𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐍 .

‎‎‎18+, selective, low activity, crossover & timeline fuckery friendly penguin / oswald kapelput of gotham / the dcu.

‎ — penned by oz [ he / him | 20+ ]

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hello friends i miss you all dearly, i hope to return from my grave eventually !!!!!

[little-penguin-ozzie]

“She likes lilies”

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i don’t buy that oswald would use the anglicized version of his last name, particularly not after his mother’s death. it makes perfect sense for him to adopt the english way of saying his name during childhood, as he was already a funny looking kid — inky black hair, an atypical nose, lanky — he would’ve wanted to dial the attention to his existence down just a bit more.

but i just . . . after his mother’s passing, i feel that oswald would cling to anything of hers he still could. thus shedding the anglicization and re-adopting the german spelling and pronunciation of his name kapelput.

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slap this post in the face for a starter !!

[chaoticjoke]

No matter how much he doesn't share Penguin's... approach to run things in Gotham the Joker does appreciate his ability to talk and get right down to business.

A smile grows wide across his scarred, painted face as the Agent of Chaos gets quite amused by Penguin's careful choice of words instead of simply saying he's a pain in the ass. That's why he never trusts the guy. There's this unspoken rule -- if you're gonna offer something worthy and mutually beneficial, you do just that instead of beating around the bush. The Joker senses something fishy, but he's going to play along.

"I'd saaaay..." A smack of lips. "I'm all ears, Ozziiiiieeee." He runs his tongue over his mouth. "So, what would that be? Your uh, proposal ?"

Oh, it better be good...

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corners of lips twist upwards into smile, icy eyes twinkling with something akin to deviancy. the olive branch had been extended & grabbed, the thorns have symbolically embedded themselves into both parties: a link, a partnership.   “ that is exactly what i was hoping you’d say. ”  

a satisfied huff pushes itself from penguin’s nose, hand quickly reaching behind the lapels of his pin-striped suit, dislodging a newspaper clipping laying in wait in the inside pocket.  as he lays the page down on mahogany, fingers swiftly push it halfway between himself and the clown prince. “ this man, ”   he begins, all remnants of a smile giving way to a tight jaw & the dull furrow of dark brows.   “ gotham’s so-called saviour. liberator of the people, cure to crime— ”   in all his dramatic flair, oswald can’t help but rise from his seat, pointing a rigid finger to the image of the enemy.  “ — is nothing but a monster. ” 

eyes flicker between the image & the clown, an attempt to gauge joker’s thoughts as he makes his speech. it’s a useless endeavour, but that is precisely why he needs him.   “ i have made great efforts to dismantle him.  despite the love of the people, and my power over the underworld, i’ve made few strides. they listen to me, of course - carry through order . . . but that’s the issue! order!  you, ”  

“ well — you’re my golden goose. you are the antithesis to order!  help me kill him. ”  

[quaeroenigma]

ᅠ `` oh , but there is * always time for riddles .ᐟ ``

painted lips spewed out a counter , twitching upwards in amusement that it does very little to hide . green clad limbs tighten grip around sharp ended cane —— before it is painted towards the not so feathered bird . the joy of observing features twist in whatever emotion edward could draw out , it was something that never bored .

`` but why should i bother with being * selfless ׅׅ𖤠 i have all the time in this world —— you , however .. tick tock , oswald . put that put that near brilliant mind to good use , to prove your worth ``

[umbrellicide]

he doesn’t even attempt to hide the electric spasm of his upper lip at the insult to his intelligence, icy eyes hardened in the green-glad riddle-whiz’s general direction. a hand flies out to smack the end of the riddler’s cane from his personal space, a hiss passing lips: “ i will put my very much brilliant mind to use the moment your insanity gives way to something useful. ” the hand is withdrawn with a rageful flair, a long inhale taken in through the nose.  calm yourself, oswald — tick tock, indeed.  the longer he evades you, the further he’ll topple your empire. 

eyes flutter closed as he thinks the statement over again:  i’m high above, yet close at hand - a shelter strong, above the land. i stay strong-willed through rain and hail, above all i do prevail. what am i? 

a gasp: “ the roof, ”  flightless bird no longer, it would seem, as oswald stands with a swiftness that knocks the chair out from under him. “ you are a nuisance, and entirely unhelpful. oh — and if you point that thing at me again, i will shove it down your throat. ” 

a swift exit is in progress, until— “ . . .  well, are you coming? ”  

[umbrellicide]

an entirely useless headcanon, but one that is currently making me giggle: oswald cannot handle eating sour foods. a single wedge of straight-up lemon would be enough to hospitalize the man.

that being said, he uses that to his advantage with things such as sickness, something learned from his childhood & his mother’s semi-holistic approach to medicine. does it nearly kill him every time? yes. does it work? maybe.

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working on replies today !!!

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getting that many posts out in a single day must be a record for this blog

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@quaeroenigma liked ☂ .

“ i don’t have time for riddles—! ”    straying from desecrating his fingernails & bouncing his leg in anxious waiting, he all but honks barks at edward, jaw tight & temper tested.   as much as he appreciates the riddle-clad and intelligent, there is only so much he can take.  waiting, in absolute agitation for a hint at where the disloyalty lies, the cryptic response to his unease is rage-inspiring, to say the very least. 

“ please, ed — speak plainly. where are they? ” 

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@scarredapollo liked ☂ .

“ you’ll regret this! ”   it isn’t as much of a threat, as is it a plea; one hand to his nose, leaking crimson, the other outstretched in a pitiful attempt at defence.  he’d started this fight, and he knows it :  he’d been the one to jab at the other’s frivolous spending at his clubs, to jeer and smile at money lost.  at this rate, you’ll have given me enough to buy a summer home. 

if only in the moment he’d thought of the repercussions.  penguin is often getting himself in trouble, his tongue. though silver, it is often loose in the wrong company.  often he can fix this with a quick order to zsasz & talent with a gun . . . but this time, there is no one else to come to his aid.  “ let’s talk!  there’s been a misunderstanding, i’m sure of it.  just—  just stop for a moment. ”  

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@ecopoison liked ☂ .

“ brilliant, ”   eyes are alight with wonder at the image before him: plants, dead as dead can be rising from their graves & thriving.  witchcraft, oswald's upbringing would scream : the devil’s work, unnatural, unheard of — but he, himself, is said to have died several times . . .  nature, he thinks, is more deserving than most of reanimation.   “ you forgive me for not watering them, yes? ”   he asks, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but denied their chance to spread.  to jest with mother nature herself was inherently a bad idea. 

the plants in this particular club were neglected, to put it lightly.  though he wasn’t often here, this a mere blip in the span of what he owns, the establishment was his nonetheless.   “ though i’m not sure i can take full responsibility for their mistreatment.  i trusted the club manager to take care of the place . . . a mistake, i am learning. ” 

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@0dd1t1es liked ☂ .

“ that doesn’t belong to you. ” jaw tight, the penguin delivers the statement with no hint of hesitation. his form blocks the exit, eyes hard on the feline deviant looking to leave quickly.

his patrons, admittedly, don’t matter much to him —- he makes his money, regardless of petty thieves pickpocketing their way to a livable existence. this time, however, the pockets picked were more important than suits pretending not to have an issue with alcoholism. she’d stolen from someone close, near a right-hand man.

“ i suggest you give it back. the eyes of few are on the deviant youth. as much as i sympathize, ” a lie. “ with those in need . . . ” a smile and a shrug. “ well - what happens in gotham can only be prevented to an extent. ”

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@spxnglr liked ☂ .

“ is it her? ” dark brows are knitted together, a hope alight within his chest. he knows there is a presence — he can see it in peripheral flashes of paleness & light. he hopes to god, if there is one, that his sainted mother has returned for him. to entertain the idea that she is back for any other purpose would suggest she wasn’t at peace . . . oh, but how silly a concept. being here at all, even to see him, would suggest the same thing.

fiddling with his fingers, he approaches the expert. “ have they spoken? can— can you hear that? ”

[umbrellicide]

slap this post in the face for a starter !!

[quaeroenigma]

ᅠ —— w͟h͟o͟ .. are .. Y꩜U ׅׅ𖤠