lingonberry jam @unaballerinascalza - Tumblr Blog

Ok now we have a booping feature I propose to tumblr next ides of March we have a stabbing counter and the person with the most stabs gets crowned Caesar and the blog with the most stabbings gets crowned Brutus

nancywheelesbian

We’ve got lesteddie, we’ve got lesbyler, we’ve got lesjargyle. But i feel like we’re missing the untapped potential of Leslumax. Walk with me

#wait #i'm walking #speedwalking even #running almost #cool now i have something new to think about

batmanisagatewaydrug

always some new bullshit in the ocean

local-demon-in-your-area

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

batmanisagatewaydrug

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

nancywheelesbian

are you familiar with the crack that is The Magic School Bus. if you're not, google it.

eddie gets extra zoinked one day, makes a youtube channel and livestreams a video high out of his mind about the conspiracy that is The Magic School Bus. like, you're telling him that breaking bad ass driverteacher with a suspicious level of science knowledge and questionable qualifications KIDNAPPED some schoolchildren, BROKE INTO a sick kid's bedroom, SHRANK them all and herself, and TRESPASSED HER ASS INTO HIS GODDAMN BODY, IN THE BIG YELLOW VEHICLE, mind you, WHILE FILMING INSIDE HIM WITHOUT PARENTAL CONSENT???? LIKE VOYEURING THE BACTERIA AND SHIT??????? insanity. poor fucking ralphie.

he does not understand why people keep coming up to him on the street. eddie does not remember shit.

i DO know magic school bus and you’re SO right. Eddie gets high and starts to make CONNECTIONS and ask QUESTIONS! How did you do it Ms. Frizzle!

#this is literal crack #i love it so much #i imagine corroded coffin blows up later #and they're living their rockstar life peacefully until some fan somewhere goes #'wait is that the ms frizzle guy??'#and it goes downhill very soon after. chaos-wise

Unnecessary update on my life

It is currently midnight and I just made a flower crown. Like a thicc one. Life has never been more awesome

#why is life

lydiardbell

I think Tumblr in general would appreciate the newest back-of-bus advertising campaign in Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand

lydiardbell

So-called "free thinkers" when a bus is traveling between Strathmore Park and Newtown:

averytauntingletter

ronance au where, after yet another one of nancy's hinge dates makes her think her standards are "too high" after crushing dissapointment, robin buckley concocts a plan.

a series of so-called "dates", including every single thing nancy's hinge dates thought was "too much effort" to prove to her that, no, her standards are not too high! if her best friend can do these things for her, why can't the guys she goes on dates with?

falling in love was not part of said plan.

#I SAW SOME LADY ON INSTAGRAM DO THIS TO HER FRIENDS #but either way #i imagine art gallery dates and fingerpainting and tie dye and record store hangouts and rollerblading in the park #and visiting every single gas station just because #jesus that's so cute #and whoops! no more hinge dates for nancy #orange is the new black? *robin is the new hinge

jewish-joy

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.