oozey mess
Not today Justin
trying on a metaphor
ojovivo
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
NASA
taylor price
No title available
tannertan36
Origami Around
No title available
if i look back, i am lost
occasionally subtle
Sweet Seals For You, Always
hello vonnie
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
we're not kids anymore.
Sade Olutola
AnasAbdin
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from Uruguay
seen from Belgium
seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Sweden
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
@unavailablesanity
I was here when Tumblr ruled the internet. Where sides has wars and fandoms ruled. When supernatural interrupted every single post with a gif no matter the context. And I’ve returned go the now slowed and forgotten pages i once ran
Deep conversations
So my friend Drew and I are usually the only two up at 2 AM in our friend group and that's also when shit gets real. We have deep ass conversations as we sit texting each other about life while listening to Natewantstobattle songs.
Going to Vages
Me: "finally here"
Them: "Time for your sacrificial lap dance!"
Me: "Shit"
drew all the babs in earth fashion!
My mom always tells me not to touch the plants...I'm a rebel
Overheard in the comic book store:
Kid 1: You’re such a dick, I heard you call yourself 'J-San', I mean, you’re not even fucking Japanese you fucking weeb.
Kid 2: My name's Jason you twat.
Reelase dates for upcoming Disney animated movies, as of October 8, 2015
(Note that Disney pushed back Toy Story 4 in favor of Cars 3, and that they revealed the release dates for Coco, Gigantic and The Incredibles II)
RIGHT WHEN I THOUGHT MY CHILDHOOD WAS OVER
highlights from my three years working at panera
customer pooping on the floor
pulling a stag beetle out of an old woman’s hair
two employees started dating and had a blow-out fight in the parking lot before work at least once a week
employee cutting her finger practically off because she jammed her arm in the bagel slicer
catering coordinator fucking the GM in the basement
man claiming he didn’t have a panera card because a friend stole all his rewards cards while he was in a coma for a year
the turkish opera singer who worked in the kitchen for a summer
disheveled man offering “voodoo therapy” in the dining room to guests as they walk in
tiny dominican lesbian stole the girlfriends of two different male employees
#please be real
its real all right & there’s more where that came from
Please tell us more
the woman who pooped on the floor got banned, but not for pooping on the floor
there is a man who comes in once a week, buys a sandwich to go, and eats it in the men’s bathroom. we know because he leaves toothpicks and the wrapper by the urinal
a woman once demanded to know where she could buy an apartment in the area, i informed her that this was a panera and not a real estate office, and she interrupted me to specify she was looking for an $1100 two bedroom
we hired twins named franciel and franciela
customer complained about the size of the small mac n cheese (it comes pre-portioned) and i told her she could upgrade it to a large for a few dollars, at which point she shook her mac n cheese in my face and screamed “i could shit more mac and cheese than this!”
the GM got so upset that he threw a sandwich at the wall and it stuck there for a few minutes because of the sauce
people act like “do you want bread, chips, or an apple for your side?” is the goddamn SATs
no, you can’t get “bread chips”
no, you can’t get “apple chips”
no, you can’t get “apple bread”
i hate you
BUT NOT FOR POOPING???? THEN WHAT FOR
complaining about the (free) sandwich she received.
her name is andrea and she was absolutely terrible to us - demanding free drinks for no good reason, buying a coffee and camping out all day, and being incredibly rude to all the employees because it made her feel powerful. we’re encouraged to greet customers by name if they’re regulars, and one day i said “hi andrea, how’re you doing today?” and she looked me up and down real slow and replied “you can call me ma’am”
i hate her and i’m so glad she’s not allowed in anymore
“”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.”
“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”
“He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes”
“My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters.
Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his dick from his trousers. “It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight!” “Oh, I’m so sorry,” hissed Hermione, and Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his dick instead.
Never Can Start Too Early⏳(W/ Sami Gresham )
Better late than never? #1 - Ghost #drawloween
dan and phil autumn aesthetic🎃
We will take down the fuckbois
