How Taylor Swift’s music helped me Speak Now ♡
I was 13 when Speak Now came out. At that time, I struggled with selective mutism, which is an anxiety disorder where I couldn’t speak in specific situations or to specific people, even though I was capable to. I had this disorder since I was a child, and I’d keep silent even at school or with some family members.
Speak Now was the album that really made me admire Taylor Swift. I already knew some of her older songs, but I didn’t consider myself a fan yet, and when Speak Now came out, I asked my mom to buy it for me so I could get to know her music more. And I fell in love with it, not only with the music, but with the fact that the whole album was written by her, the stories that were behind every song, the secret messages, everything. When I watched the DVD of the Speak Now Tour I got even more enchanted because she really knew how to put on a show and I’ve never seen anything like that before. I wished I could see her live one day.
Anyway, when I was in 8th grade, and had just turned 14, I had theatre class at school. But I wouldn’t speak or participate in the school plays. Even though I had managed to avoid any type of presentation before, this time the teacher said that I was obligated to. That made me extremely nervous, the day of the presentation was coming and I thought of many ways to just not go to class and dodge it, but I was afraid of getting a low grade and having to repeat the class next year. So I thought it was time to change. I’d be in high school the next year and I hadn’t spoken in front of my classmates for years, only to a small group of friends. I needed to overcome my anxiety. How many words unspoken had I already left behind in the last ten years?
So the night before the day of the presentation, I sat on my bed and opened the booklet of the Speak Now album and read the prologue. I cried a bit but those words inspired me to be strong and fearless for the next day.
“What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.
So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying “I could’ve, but it’s too late now”.
I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.” - Taylor Swift
It was like those words were written for me to read at that moment. The next day, I did my part in the play (even though it was just a couple of lines, it was a big thing for me, since I’ve also been bullied for having this problem). And after that, I just didn’t care anymore. I took baby steps and started speaking more in class and when I least realized, I was a whole different person, more confident and my friends would tell me to shut up from talking so much. lol
That was a life changing moment and I’ll always remember how Speak Now literally helped me speak now. Taylor also inspired me to start writing about my feelings and I have many pages of texts, poems and phrases about boys I had fallen in love for. I wrote about love, about heartbreak, about anxiety, and so on…
Now I’m 22 *alexa play 22 by Taylor Swift* and since I live in Brazil, I never had the chance to see Taylor live. But this year she announced she’d be coming to São Paulo next year and I’ll finally be able to see her concert for the first time! It’ll be a dream come true and I hope one day I’ll be able to tell her this story. I’m just so grateful for her music and how it inspired me to overcome my problems. She’s the soundtrack to various moments of my life. So thank you, Taylor Swift. ♡
@taylorswift @taylornation
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