Hello again! đ It's,,, happy life anon is the only way i can distinguish myself. I just want to applaud your depiction of Stray Kids and of the criminal. You touched on a topic in an incredible way of how some people get their delusions twisted towards the idols that they are 'fans' of. You're an incredible writer and I hope to continue to read your work! đ Have a good day/night/week/month/year! đ - đ»
Hellooo happy life anon!! Thank you so much for leaving such a nice comment ^^ I also hope you have a great day/night/week/month/year!!
Summary:Â Jeongin has been acting strange lately. No matter how much you try asking, he wonât tell you anything. But whatever has been bothering him, itâs worse than you thought.
âI donât care if you just finished working out, you still need to eat.â You stir a small pot on the stove.
In the kitchen, youâre making egg drop soup for Chan and Minho. You three happened to be leaving at the same time from the JYP building, so you decided to tag along with them. You were planning to leave after making it to their dorm, but once you heard that theyâve been skipping dinner, you werenât going to let this pass. You barged into their kitchen and started cooking with whatever they had in the fridge.
Chan is sitting on a chair that he took from the living room while Minho is looking for water in the fridge. Felix heard you coming through the door, so he instantly got up and started following you around like a puppy. Heâs leaning over the counter, putting his elbow on it and resting his head on his hands.
âYou donât need to cook so much thoughâŠâ Chan points out.
âItâs to make up for how very little you guys eat in general. Donât worry, egg drop soup is filled with protein and isnât high in calories, same goes for kimchi and brown rice. I wonât leave until you two eat.â
âItâs fine if you stay.â Felix flutters his eyelashes.
âSame goes for the rest of the members. As the manager, I expect that everyone eats healthily. If not, then Iâll keep coming here to make sure that you guys arenât starving yourselves on purpose. Once I can trust you guys, then Iâll leave everyone alone.â
Felix groans.
âWhy did you make that sound, Felix?â You turn to them while turning off the stove.
âI want starve myself so you can come here every night like thisâŠbut I donât want to disappoint you either.â He lays his cheek on the cold counter.
âFelixâŠdonât be shocked, but you know that we see each other practically every day, right?â You say sarcastically with an eyebrow raised.
âBut itâs more special having you in our dorms.â His smile beams.
âAlright...no more,â Minho grabs Felix and drags him away from you. âDonât cross a line when I havenât gotten there yet.â
âWhat? Who said that youâre the first, Hyung??â
âMe. If I canât make a move, then no one else can.â
Felix starts kicking. âThatâs not fair, Hyung!! Why does Chan-hyung get to stay with her?!â
You watch as Minho drags poor Felix to his room. Even after hours of exercise, his muscles arenât sore enough to carry him, so thatâs nice to know.
Chan sighs, massaging his face. âSorry, (Y/N). I think work is getting to Felix, so heâs a little loopy.â
âAwâŠif I could, I would accompany him on his schedule.â
âItâs okay, being independent is a learning experience for him.â
Speaking of the members, you know that Jisung and Changbin are still at the company in their studio, and Hyunjin is at the dance studio while Seungmin is MC-ing for some variety shoes. Thereâs still one more person left.
âOh yea, whereâs Jeongin?â
You pour the soup into a bowl, placing it at the dining table. Chan gets up and helps set the plate of kimchi and the rice cooker on the table. Just in case, you place more than three plates in case the other boys would like some as well.
After asking the question, Chan averts his eyes. âJeonginâŠis on the balcony, talking on the phone.â
âOh? With who? His friends?â
âNo.â
âFamily?â
âWellâŠâ
âWait, donât tell meâŠâ you drop the chopsticks on the table. âIs he talking to a possible girlfriend?â
âWhat? Noââ
âWhat do we do?? Jeongin is the first to get a girlfriend even though heâs the youngest. Is there something going on that I didnât catch on to?? Heâs barely an adult and heâs already done more than what the older members have doneâŠâ
Chan clears his throat. âBefore you continue jumping to conclusions, itâs not that either. And I can guarantee Iâve done way more than Jeongin. Anyway, I donât know who heâs talking to either, but he doesnât seemâŠhappy, and itâs been like that for a few days now.â
The excitement fades away from your eyes and has been replaced with worry. He knew that that was going to be your reaction, especially with how overprotective you are with the members, so he immediately thinks of ways to soothe your concerns.
âB-but this is just from what Iâve seen. For all I know, heâs probably fine.â
How have you not noticed anything for a few days? Have you been focusing too much on others that you neglected Jeongin? Despite Chanâs efforts to calm you down, you canât help but worry.
âIâm gonna ask if he wants to have dinner.â
âDonâtâŠ!â He begins, but pulls back. âYouâŠyou can.â
He knows you too well that youâll probably talk to Jeongin, pretending like you donât know whatâs going on when you make it very plain and clear. Youâre a terrible liar, so itâs inevitable that heâll assume that youâre worried for him. But even if Chan were to go against your idea, itâll just make you want to do it even more.
----------
Jeonginâs back is to the glass sliding door as heâs sitting on a plastic stool and talking on the phone. You canât hear a single thing heâs saying, but judging by his body language alone, it doesnât seem like itâs going all too well. His back is slouched over, and his arms are hugging himself. Overall, heâs just stiff. Not a single trace of his usual bubbly self is present.
You knock on the glass, getting his attention. He mutes his phone and looks up, and as he does that, you got a brief glance at the name of the caller ID, âUnknownâ.
âManager, I didnât know you were here.â
âYea, I was here for a while,â you point to the kitchen. âYou wanna eat? I made some dinner.â
âNo, itâs okay. Thank you though.â
And just like that, itâs like he didnât want to talk any further, which makes sense since heâs still on the phone with his mother. You choose to leave him alone, closing the door behind you but not letting your eyes off of him.
Chan puts his hand on your shoulder to distract you from him. âItâs okay to leave him be. Heâs not a kid anymore, so you donât have to hover over him all the time.â
âI know butâŠâ
Itâs difficult for you to do so. Youâve been with him ever since he was in middle school, and although your age gap isnât entirely different, you feel like his guardian. Perhaps itâs your motherly instincts, you arenât entirely sure, but what you do know is that whatever is going on with Jeongin is enough to make him not even smile when you greeted him.
==========
Itâs one in the morning, and the boys have been practicing since the morning. They decide to call it a day and finish training for the day. Youâre standing by the door as you watch them wrap up practice.
âGood job everyone. We did great,â Chan claps his hands. âWe can do even better tomorrow.â
The boys cheer that practice is over. They head to their bags and take out water bottles as well as their phones.
âIâm gonna order chicken from that place we went to the other day. Who wants some?â Minho looks up from his phone.
They raise their hands.
âI can order. Just tell me what you guys want.â You offer.
âShh, you always do it. Itâs my turn.â
âButââ
âItâs okay. I changed my name so they wonât know who I am this time.â
The last time Minho ordered, he actually used his stage name so the deliverer went on social media and leaked pictures of the JYP building. Since then, itâs usually you or another staff member who orders, but you decide to let it pass since Minho did change his name to some English name to avoid any subtle hints that itâs him.
The rest of the boys are doing their own thing, usually playing around with each other or continuing their training from earlier. Just like the previous night, Jeongin is sitting by himself in the corner, on his phone. His thumbs are rapidly typing away like heâs texting somebody.
Unable to leave him alone, you sit next to him. He quickly hides his phone screen from you, and it disheartens you a bit, but you play it off as if you didnât notice that. âWhat are you doing sitting alone? What do you want to eat? Minhoâs ordering.â
âItâs okay, I donât want anything. Weâre going on a show in the afternoon and I donât want my face to look puffy,â he gets up and puts his backpack on. âI have homework, so Iâm gonna go back to the dorms to finish it.â
âOhâŠare you sure? You can do it here while we wait for the food.â
He shakes his head. âIâm good. I donât want any distractions, especially since itâs almost testing period.â
You donât want to push him further, but you donât want to leave him alone either. You call out to him a second time, and you can clearly hear a sigh.
You extend your hand out to stop him. âItâs late, let me go with youââ
âNo!â He slaps your hand away.
The room falls silent, and everyoneâs eyes are on you two. You and Jeongin stare at each other for a few seconds, both caught off-guard by his sudden aggression. He didnât even realize what heâs done until after it happened, and now immense guilt overwhelms him.
Heâs hesitating, pinching his index finger. âM-ManagerâŠIâm sorry. IâŠreally have to go.â
He runs out the room, leaving everyone speechless with his actions. The boys finally break out of their trance, and Felix is the first to check on you.
âManager, are you okay?!â He takes your hand. âDoes it hurt??â
âThat was really uncalled for. Iâm gonna have a talk with him.â Chan is about to chase after him when you stop him.
âWait, donât.â
âWhat? Why?? Did you not see what he did??â
âI know, butâŠblowing up on him isnât going to solve it.â
âSo pretending like it never is better?â
You shake your head. âNoâŠyesâŠno! I donât know. I donât think he meant it.â
You donât know whatâs going on with Jeongin, and it seems like the other members donât know either. It isnât like youâre the only person whoâs worried either since the other boys seemed just as worried. You think to yourself, wondering what it is you can do.
âIt isnât like him to just do that. Heâs so innocent that he would apologize a thousand times if he laid a hand on you.â Hyunjin puts his hands on his waist.
âYeaâŠmaybe he didnât want me to touch him. MaybeâŠI smell?â You sniff your sleeve.
âNo! Never!â Felix exclaims. âYou always smell fine! Even when you donât put on perfume, your natural scent is the best!â
You werenât expecting Felix to give you a full-on compliment, but youâre appreciative of it regardless. If it isnât because you smell, then is it because Jeongin is annoyed of you? You were being a bit too nosy about whoâs he talking to, so he probably had enough of you and did what he did. OrâŠhe doesnât want you to know that he might have a girlfriend.
==========
As Jeongin runs out of the building, he finds a place to hide a few blocks away. Once he finds a street with nobody there, he crouches into a fetal position, pulling his hair out as he fights the urge to scream. Heâs absolutely upset at himself for slapping your hand away. It was really hard as well, enough to create an echo. He regrets hitting you, but it was the shock face you made when he did itâthat hurts the most. It was like he betrayed you, and now he doesnât know if youâll ever forgive him.
As much as he wants to tell you and the older members, he canât. What he got himself into is bigger than he could ever imagine, even to the extent that he canât tell them. If he does, then itâll land not only you and the boys, but the company and his family. He has to figure out how to solve this problem on his own.
âHey, what took you so long?â A mysterious voice comes from behind the shadows.
Jeongin stands up, holding his other arm with his hand timidly. âSorryâŠit was hard to get out of practice.â
The figure walks out from the darkness, revealing himself to be a middle-aged man. Heâs wearing a black sweater with the hoodie over his head to keep his identity hidden. âI donât care the reason. As long as youâre not wasting my time. Did you bring what I asked?â
âYes, I did,â He takes out a folder and gives it to him.
He opens it, flipping through a few pages to see whatâs inside. He nods with content. âOkay, these seem legit.â
âI gave you what you wanted, so youâre not going to hurt anybody anymore, right?â
âYes, yes. Geez, how many times do I have to tell you? As long as you give me what I want, then Iâll do my part of the deal.â
But Jeongin plays with his fingernails, still seemingly anxious. The man can see how uneasy he is, so he wraps his arm around him.
âWhy do you look so sad? Come on, you did great, boy.â
Despite the assurance, Jeongin knows that what heâs doing is completely wrong, but heâs so deep into this situation that heâs afraid that his career as a musician will end. He wonât be able to look at you or the members in the eyes. So he rather struggle on his own then have any of you involved.
==========
You didnât get the chance to talk to him the next morning. He woke up earlier than the rest of the boys, going on his morning jog before going to school. The other boys have gone to do their individual schedules, some of them are recording for shows while others are either doing photoshoots for magazines or producing songs.
Youâre in the office sitting at your desk, sighing for the fiftieth time. Your coworker who sits across from you tosses a piece of paper at you, startling you.
âWhat was that for?!â
âFor sighing. Whatâs up? Youâve been like this lately.â
With a lack of response, she has a feeling she knows why youâre like this. âItâs about Jeongin again, isnât it?â
You jolt. âH-how did you know??â
âYou mentioned it before so I had a hunch that whatever that has been going on is still ongoing. Heâs still behaving differently?â
You nod. âItâs just so unusual of him to do that. I mean, itâs likeâŠitâs normal for someone his age to be on his phone all the time, but to be on his phone this often? I donât knowâŠhe doesnât even let me see who heâs talking to either!â
âWhy are you so obsessed with that? Heâs at the age where itâs healthy to have a girlfriend and maybe heâs just a little embarrassed to tell you.â
You press your hands against your cheeks dramatically. âChan told me that Iâm overreacting, but what guy goes on his phone that often and even pushes others away?? What if heâs dating a girl who doesnât give him time to breathe?! I should check on him!â
You stand up from your seat, but your coworker hurriedly pulls you down. âStop it! This is probably why he never told you! And what if he doesnât have a girlfriend? It doesnât matter; itâs his life and you shouldnât be intruding into it so much.â
âYea butâŠhe has to worry about what the media is going to think, and his fansâŠâ
âWho cares about what the media says? Itâll just be the top news for a week or so, then everybody is going to forget about it. And yea, obviously the fans who truly care about him will support him and his girlfriend.â
âYeaâŠI knowâŠbutâŠâ
âWhy do you make it sound like him having a girlfriend is bad?â
But after asking that question, thatâs when it hits her. In all honesty, your coworker is surprised that it took her this long to figure out that you like him. A wide smile forms on her face, showing her teeth. Once you knew that she figured it out, you reach over your desk and slap her on the shoulder.
âOw! What was that for?!â
âS-sorryâŠ! But donât tell anyone! I want absolutely no one to know about this!!â
âGeezâŠâ she rubs his shoulder. âYouâre acting like a school girl. Thereâs nothing wrong with liking someone. Why donât you want anybody to know?â
âBecause Iâm gonna hear it endlessly from the boys! Theyâre either going to make fun of me for having a crush. And then Chan is going to pull me to the side and talk about how he thinks that I should keep my feelings on the down-low until promotions are over!â
âWhat? No he wonât. I donât spend as much time with them as you do, but if anything, heâs probably gonna be jealous. Same with Lee Know, Felix, ChangbinâŠand the list goes on.â
âJealous? Why would they be jealous?â
âBecauseâŠâ she sighs. âNever mind. Iâll let you figure out that on your own. Anyway, is that why youâve been thinking about him? Because you mightâve lost your chance to ask him out?â
âYou donât have to put it that way! Besides, I donât ever plan on confessing to him. This is a professional setting and we have to keep it that way. He has thousands of fans and I donât want to be that one girl who ruins it.â
âYouâre not ruining anything. But even if he has a girlfriend, whatever is going on with Jeongin definitely isnât normal. Well, based on what you said.â
âSomething has to be bothering him, but I donât know what,â You think about it for a few seconds before an idea springs up in your head. âDo you think itâs okay that I pick him up from school instead?â
âI donât think his school minds, but didnât you say that the other managers usually picks him up? You donât even have a driverâs license.â
âWe can walk home together. That way, weâll be alone and give time for us to talk.â
âOkayâŠjust be careful not to get in trouble.â
âDonât worry about it. I got this under control.â
==========
Youâre at Jeonginâs school, standing by the gate. School has just ended and the barrage of students in the iconic yellow school uniforms rush out of their classrooms. Many well-known idols currently attend or have attended this school, so because of that this school has gained some notoriety among the public eye. Some students that you see are familiar, but without their flashy outfits and makeup, they practically look like every other student here.
By the gates, there are managers just like you who are waiting for a specific student, whether theyâre an idol, model, or actor. Moments like these you enjoy the most because this is one of the rare occasions where the idol can be just like every other high school student without the public eyeâs judgement to dictate them. Without a doubt, itâs not normal for a student to have their manager pick them up from school, but thereâs something special about not having people glorify teenagers.
You texted Jeongin to let him know that youâll be waiting for him after school. He never responded, but he did read your message. Itâs rare for you to pick him up since youâre usually with the older members with their schedulesânot even when Seungmin and Hyunjin were in school. This is a new experience for you to be waiting for him, so itâs a little exciting.
As youâre waiting, you finally get a text message from him, asking where youâre at. You let him know that youâre waiting at the west wing gate. After no more than fifteen minutes, you see the top of Jeonginâs head, rushing to you, blending into the crowd of yellow blazers. You wave to him, but he doesnât wave back. He looks rather serious, maybe even a little upset that youâre here.
He passes through the crowd, rushing right toward you. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI came here to see you.â
âWhy?â
âBecause I want to talk to you.â
Jeongin looks around as if heâs searching for someone, then he lowers his head like heâs hiding. âWhere is the other manager?â
âI told him that Iâll pick you up today. Is it okay if we walk to the company together?â
He seems conflicted, like he doesnât know if he should be angry. Youâve never seen him look this serious before, and it is hurting your feelings a little bit. Seeing the way your expressions are changing and remembering what happened last night, he tries to lighten the mood.
âOkay.â
A smile lights up on your face, and he blushes a little bit seeing how happy youâve become.
==========
In the city, you two are walking together to the main building. Even though it was your plan to talk to him, you canât bring yourself to say anything. Jeongin knows why you want to walk with him, but youâre quiet, so heâs anticipating the question.
âSoâŠhas anything been going on lately?â
âNo, not really.â
âReally?â
He nods. âEverythingâs been the same.â
âObviously, I can tell that things havenât been the same. You wanna tell me whatâs been going on with you lately?â You get right to the point.
He hesitates, knowing that you were going to ask this eventually. âAre you talking about last night?â
âOf course.â
He remains quiet, so when you look at his face, he looks sad. Heâs making it clear that he feels guilty for hitting your hand last night.
âI just want to make things clear that Iâm not upset that you. If thereâs something thatâs bothering you, then itâs okay to tell me. I promise I wonât tell anyone.â
He knows he can trust you, but the deal he made with that strange man requires that he doesnât let anyone aware of it. If he does, then itâs putting you and everybody else in a vulnerable state. But with that desperate expression on your face, he canât bring himself to keep it a secret from you. He wants to alleviate some weight on his shoulders, but at the same time, heâs terrified that the man is listening in on their conversation.
âManager, IâŠâ
The ding coming from his phone interrupts the mood. He takes his phone out to see that heâs received a text message on his Kakao. Itâs not from any of his friends nor is it from the members. Itâs from an unfamiliar ID.
Curious, you peer over to see that itâs somebody that you donât know either. Thatâs when your fear that it might be the mysterious âgirlfriendâ that heâs been talking to has texted him.
âWho is that? A classmate?â
He scrunches his eyebrows. âI donât know this person.â
The message says: I.nnie, I love you with all my heart and soul <3 Plz reply so I know itâs you!!
You and Jeongin knew instantly that this is a message from a fan. He deletes the message and blocks the person. Itâs going to make the fan feel like sheâs been betrayed by her âone and onlyâ, but the reality of it is that she is crossing over private territory and should know not to step over that boundary.
But that isnât the only fan who messages. After that, he receives a large number of messages from unknown users. Theyâre all presumably his fans, spamming him with confessions or questions asking if itâs really him. Because there are so many of them, itâs too many for him to delete manually.
âWhatâs going on??â Jeongin silences his phone after getting annoyed of hearing his ringtone go off hundreds of times.
âHow did they get access to your Kakao ID?â
They made sure that their info wouldnât get leaked out to the public, so it isnât possible that they just so happened to have stumbled upon his ID. Heâs never revealed his Kakao account on any shows either, so itâs nearly impossible for them to have figured it out. Then again, nothing is ever secure, so you presume that it might be the works of a hacker.
âDidnât we upgrade your phoneâs security? How is this happening?â
As you were are talking, you receive a message from the other members, notifying that their information has been leaked as well. Theyâre asking you what they should do, but you donât know either. You tell them to calm down and that youâll figure out whatâs going on.
âWhatâs going on? This came out of nowhere.â
You glance at Jeonginâs face, and thereâs a look of horror like he just committed a horrible crime. His skin has turned pale and his eyes are wide, unable to grasp what is happening. You shake his arms to get him out of this trance, and it works.
âJeongin? Are you okay?â
He gazes into your worried eyes, slightly nodding his head. âY-yeaâŠâ
âWeâre gonna have a meeting with the boys and figure out whatâs going on.â
==========
You and the boys are sitting together in the practice room in a circle, no words spoken as crickets play in the background. You glance around to see their solemn expressions, and you wonder what you can do to make the mood feel less heavy.
âI was able to get in contact with the person in charge of the companyâs tech department and he said that we canât do anything other than delete the current account and create a new one. Based on their investigation, there were no signs of hacking, so itâs most likely that somebody shared our information online.â
âAre you serious? Someone actually gave our information away?â Changbin groans. âDo they not have any shame?â
Jeongin, sitting in a fetal position, pulls his knees closer to him.
âEven if somebody from our company did do it, it was bound to happen.â Seungmin adds.
âYea, but who has the audacity to do shit like that?â
âChangbin, please watch your languageâŠâ You request.
âWho cares if I curse or not? What that person did to us is shameful, and to expose us like weâre not human is wrong. I have every right to get angry.â
âI knowâŠbut getting angry isnât going to solve anything.â You say, but in a more serious tone.
âChangbin, Manager, letâs not have disagreements,â Chan raises his hand. âWhat happened has already been done, so we should be thankful that none of us were harmed. We canât fixed the past, but we can use it to make sure that in the future this wonât happen again.â
You and Changbin look at each other. âYes.â
âBut I want to know how our information was given away in the first place. Did anyone approach you guys and asked for your contact info?â
They all say no, including you. OrâŠat least except for one person..
âJeongin?â Chan calls out.
He raises his head to see all eyes on him.
âAre you alright? Did anyone approach you asking for your contacts?â
He looks around, feeling a little hesitant. âNoâŠâ
You already knew from the way he answered thereâs more to it than what heâs giving out. You donât want to say it out loud because you know that itâs going to make things more complicated if you were to point him out.
 Later on, most of the members have left the practice room. Youâve kept an eye on Jeongin while theyâre getting ready to leave to see if his behavior is different. Like the past few days, he isnât smiling and has been rather stiff during the entire meeting. Since you donât want to put pressure on him, you decide to keep quiet and plan to talk to him alone. With the last member leaving the room, itâs only you and Chan left.
âHow have you been handling this entire situation? I hope youâre doing alright.â
âDonât worry about me. Iâm more concerned about the younger members, especially Jeongin.â
âDid you notice it too? How uncomfortable he was.â
He nods. âMaybe it has to do with how secretive heâs been the past few days.â
âA few nights ago when I went to your dorms and spoke to Jeongin, he was talking to someone on the phone, but the caller ID was called âUnknownâ. I didnât think too much about it then, but with the situation now, I think it has some correlations.â
You shouldâve known back then how suspicious it was that he was talking to somebody who doesnât even have a caller ID nor did their phone number show up. You mustâve been so exhausted from working all day that you probably didnât think about it that much.
âShould weâŠâ Chan trails off. âAh, never mind.â
âWhat?â
âItâs justâŠdo you think we should tell somebody? What Jeongin did is wrong, and I know he wouldnât do something like this without a reason, butââ
âNo!â
Youâre aware that itâs not a good idea to keep Jeonginâs suspected involvement a secret, but seeing how heâs been behaving, you donât want to add on to his problems.
âI-itâs just suspicion, right? We donât know if Jeongin has any connections to it, so itâs better not to go straight to the higher-ups. Letâs wait it out a bit, and if he continues being suspicious then we can let them know.â
However, judging by his expression, Chan doesnât seem to agree with this decision. âOkay, but donât go easy on him, okay? I donât want to believe that heâs involved, but if he really is, then we canât baby him out of this situation. Heâs a grown man and should learn from his mistakes, especially from the ones that have huge negative consequences.â
You nod. âYou can trust me! Even if Jeongin is a part of it, Iâm certain that he was blackmailed to do it. We both know how kind-heartened he is to the core, so thereâs definitely no reason that he would do it without a good reason.â
âYea, youâre right,â he sighs, then smiles. âI shouldnât be so negative. Probably with everything thatâs been going on, itâs been kind of taking a toll on me that Iâm doubting my own teammates.â
You elbow him. âYea, itâs very unlike you, but weâll get out of this mess for sure! If other idols are able to solve this problem, then we definitely can.â
Catching onto your optimistic contagion, he canât help but smile as well. âYouâre right. He would never do anything behind our backs without a reason.â
While you do hope thatâs the case, you pray that Jeongin isnât in any danger. It would be foolish of you to have been worried that he has a girlfriend when there are more serious subjects to be worried about, so you want to make things better by not being distracted with meaningless worries and tackle the problem head-on. And it starts with Jeongin.
==========
You know that you vowed to solve the problem, but you have been unsuccessful with talking to Jeongin these past few days. Your workload has increased by an exponential amount, having to go to meetings, make phone calls, and sign papers. When you do have the time to check on them, he leaves the room around the same time.
Thankfully, the boysâ leaked contact information has died down, and no one has been messaging them since they made new accounts. The tech department have yet to figure out how it was released in the first place, though they still believe in their theory that someone had to have given it to some outside source.
You sigh heavily, having returned from a long and arduous meeting. You finally came back to the main building, and seeing that you have some spare time, you decide to stop by and see the boys while theyâre practicing. At the main entrance, you scan your ID card and enter once the automatic doors open.
But you freeze when you meet eyes with an unfamiliar stranger. Heâs dressed with a white, tucked-in shirt and cargo pants and also wearing glasses that completes it all. He seems shocked to see you.
He doesnât look like anybody you know, so it must be somebody from outside the company. The reception lady whoâs usually there isnât, so you assume that he must be waiting for her. Since youâre here, you thought it wouldnât hurt to ask if he needs help.
âHello, did somebody already come to help you?â
âI need help. Iâm a journalist here to interview Twice and was wondering if you can guide me to their practice room.â
You raise an eyebrow, already finding this suspicious. âI donât remember ever hearing about an agreement to hold an interview inside the building. Which publication do you work for?â
âI work for Seoulâs Newsletter, and Iâve been told to do this for my current article,â he takes out an ID card, and it covers his claim of being a journalist. âIâm here to do an interview with Twice.â
âMy apologies, I donât supervise them so I donât know their schedule.â
âThen which musicians do you mainly work with?â
âStray Kids.â
âOh, then if itâs fine, can I interview them in the meantime? I have the permission to do by my supervisor to do so.â
This is too strange. You may not be a journalist, but his task seems too flexible. Thereâs no way his boss would let him pass with interviewing Stray Kids if thereâs a chance that he doesnât run into the actual band he has to interview. Besides, if heâs scheduled to interview Twice, then they would have a set time to meet, and if they were late, they would notify him. Not only that, but if he were to use Stray kids as a secondary interviewees, then you wouldâve been made aware of it as well.
âI donât remember ever accepting a meeting with Seoulâs Newsletter.â
âWhat?â
âIâm their manager.â
His facial expressions become stiff, and his hands fall to his sides when he realize that he made a mistake. He thought that you were just another staff member who just so happen to hover around them, not someone whoâs always around them.
âI thought their managers were men.â
âI handle most of the behind-the-scene jobs like scheduling and attending meetings as well as taking care of their wellbeing. My co-managers help with the public activities.â
Because youâre a young female, itâs most likely going to cause scandals for one of the boys, so thatâs why youâre not with them in public majority of the time. But as you think to yourself, you begin to wonder about something.
âIâm just wonderingâŠbut how did you get access to enter?â
Just like you, you need to have an employee card to scan then the doors will unlock. If heâs here to supposedly interview them, then he wouldâve had somebody here to help him. Since thereâs nobody here with him, it could only mean one thing. You look down at his hand and got a glimpse of the ID card. For a second, you couldâve sworn that you saw Jeonginâs face on it.
He looks around at the ceiling, though youâre not sure what heâs looking for. But then it hits you that heâs looking for security cameras. Thatâs when he moves closer to you only for you to move back. Your guard is heightened with your hand scouring through your purse for pepper spray.
He puts his hands in his pockets, not hesitating to move forward. âI have a knife in my pocket, and Iâll take it out if you donât do as I say.â
He slyly shows the blade as it illuminates against the sunlight, blinding your eyes. Itâs not a fake knife, so fear crawls up your spine. Situations like these only happen on shows, never in a million years did you ever think itâll happen to you. So when something as dramatic as this unfolds in front of you, you feel the concern that if you donât do as he says, then you could lose your life.
âTake me to their studio, then Iâll spare your life.â
You donât know want to reveal their private sphere in fear that there will be another repeat of the Kakao incident, but glaring at the blade is making you think otherwise. You hate to admit it, but youâre more afraid of getting hurt than anything else.
âO-okay.â
Just agreeing with it makes you repulsed at yourself. You look down in shame, clenching your fists as you guide him to the place of his choice.
==========
You and the man are walking in the halls, and heâs standing closely behind you. You canât see if heâs holding the knife to your back, but you donât want to do anything to confirm that he does. Unfortunately, thereâs not that many people in the halls, so you canât call out for help. But even if you do cry for help, you donât want to get them involved.
âIâm surprised no one has passed by. Even with security cameras everywhere, thereâs nobody doing a single thing,â He snickers. âI heard that CCTV cameras are there just to scare people from doing anything, but in reality, some actually only record five minutes at random times.â
Youâre just as surprised that, so far, thereâs been no one. It must be one of those days where everybody is in their office or doing outside activities.
âI really do hope that Twice is hereâŠAll I wanted to do was talk to themâŠâ he bites his nails. âIs that too much to ask? People get to talk to them all the time, but Iâm considered the creep? Itâs not fair.â
You try looking behind from the corner of your eye, but you canât. Judging by his shaky voice, heâs also just as nervous as you are, probably afraid that heâll be caught.
âYou employees should be lucky to see then every day, but all you guys ever do is take it for granted. You said you work as Stray Kidsâ manager, correct?â
âY-yes.â
âYou have to work for a bunch of ungrateful children. Iâve seen how the leader interacts with Twice, and it irritates me. He acts like heâs special just because heâs the center of attention. I fucking hate it.â
With each passing second with him, he slowly reveals more and more that he isnât a journalist. The Seoul Newsletter Card mustâve been a fake. His obsession with Twice is beginning to unnerve you, but his hatred toward Stray Kids irritates you more. Itâs blatantly obvious that since theyâre from a famous company, theyâre bound to get backlash for being âtoo rich and popularâ despite being a rookie group. However, the public doesnât know the amount of effort and passion they put into their work, so to hear him belittle them is more infuriating than you possibly losing your life.
âYou donât know that. Maybe if you took the time to get to know them thenââ
âSHUT UP! You donât understand shit! I go through so much and yet these boys get to go around hogging them. I work my ass off just to go to their fan meet only to be banned from them, and when I finally got someone to help me, my plan still fails!â
âWaitâŠsomebody?â
âYea. How the fuck else am I supposed to get access to the building?â
Thatâs when the connection is linkedâwhat the tech department said about the boysâ contact information being manually leaked is true. It was an inside job done, and heâs the mastermind. But who would be helping an insane man like him?
Just as you two are about to turn the corner of the hall, you two run into somebody. Itâs Jeongin, and in a millisecond, you three freeze. At first, he had no idea what was going on, but when he made eye contact with the made, his skin color becomes pale.
âYou little bastard!â
Suddenly, the man lunges at Jeongin, grabbing him by the shirt and pushing down. He gets on top of him, now holding him by the collar of his shirt, repeatedly slamming him against the floor.
You rush toward him, attempting to pull him off of Jeongin. However, no matter how much strength youâre using, itâs no use in getting the man off.
âHelp! Somebody help!â You cry out.
You look around desperately, but thereâs nobody.
âManager, run!â Jeongin shouts.
You canât move your legs. You know itâs better to run and search for help, but you canât bring yourself to leave him there. Youâre aware that you should help him, but you donât know what to do. With that knife in his hand, youâre afraid that if you jump into the mess, then youâll end up getting Jeongin injured.
The man notices that you took one step back, so now his attention is on you. That brief eye contact is enough to scare you, so you break out of your frozen trance and make an attempt to run. However, he is able to grab you by your hair, pulling you back until you fall to the ground. Undoubtedly, heâs pulled out some hair strands right from the scalp.
âDonât think you can get away!â
Because of the pain, you donât pull your head. You struggle to get his hands off of your hair by scratching his fingers to no avail. You make eye contact with Jeongin, praying that he runs to safety. Heâs in the same spot as youâunable to pick his feet up and only stare in horror.
âThis kid thought that he can outsmart me, but heâs nothing more than a coward,â the man laughs. âLook, he canât even save you. Because he thought heâs better than me, Iâm going to show what Iâll do if you try to mess around with me.â
âHey! Whatâs going on?!â
Suddenly, another manâs voice comes from down the hall and it turns out to be one of the employees. He spots whatâs happening, sprinting toward the scene. However, he isnât able to catch up as the man is able to escape through the elevator, closing just in time before he reaches him in time.
The employee turns his direction to youâsitting on the ground on your knees. âHey, are you okay? Who was he?â
Youâre so shaken that you canât speak. Jeongin stands still, holding his hands together as he stares speechlessly. The employee takes out his phone and dials a number.
âItâs okay, Iâm gonna call for help.â
==========
While youâre sitting in the main lobby with a policewoman, the police are questioning Jeongin in a separate room. The news about the break-in spread like wildfire and it eventually reaches the members. Theyâre quick to their feet when they heard that you and Jeongin were in danger and made it their priority to check and see that you two are fine.
Chan is the first to enter the lobby with a panicked look in his eyes. He approaches you, putting his hands on your shoulders. You two stare at each other for a few seconds before he pulls you in for a tight hug.
âIâm glad youâre okay. He didnât hurt you, did he?â
You shake your head. âIt was nothing serious.â
âI heard that heâs not from this company? What the hell happened?â
âThatâs something that weâre still figuring out,â the policewoman steps in between you and Chan. âMind if I ask who you are and what relations you have with (Y/N)?â
âItâs okay. Heâs my friend. UhmâŠmind if I have some privacy with him? Thereâs something Iâd like to talk to him about.â
She nods then walks to the halls.
Once sheâs out of sight, Chan pulls you in closer. âDo you have any clue whatâs going on?? And please donât lie to me that he didnât do anything to you. I swear, if he actually laid his hand on you, Iâm gonna beat the shit out of himââ
âChan, please donât.â Thatâs exactly what you donât want to happen. âI really am alright. ButâŠitâs not what I wanted to talk about. Jeongin told me everything.â
âTold you what? What did he tell you?â
âBut before I explain, promise me that you wonât get angry at him.â
âWhy would I get angry at him? (Y/N), youâre scaring me.â
You avert your eyes, afraid to tell him but knowing that itâs better to tell him rather than keeping it a secret. âThat man who broke into the building is the one who released the groupâs contact information.â
âWhat?! How did he have access??â
You bite your bottom lip, anxiety increasing as you fear for his next reaction. ââŠIt was Jeongin.â
Chanâs jaw drops.
He takes a few seconds to take in what you said, turning around and putting his hand on his waist. He massages his jaw, feeling a mixture of emotions. Just as you thought, he isnât sure about how to take this in. He wants to get angry, but he also wants to drop to the floor and cry for the betrayal from his own member.
âHe didnât do it because he wanted to. He was blackmailed.â
Youâve never seen so much relief comfort him, so much that he was about to cry.
âHe contacted Jeongin online and claimed that heâs a hacker. He threatened that if he doesnât give him personal information about Twice, then he was going to leak your information to the public.â
âPersonal info? Personal what?â
âLikeâŠâprivateâ pictures and videos of them.â
âOh my god. This disgusting pervâŠPlease tell me Jeongin didnât do it.â
You shake your head. âHe couldnât bring himself to do it. He ended up giving him photos that he found online and photoshopped it a little bit to make it appear like itâs the girls, but he mustâve figured it out since your info was released.â
Chan looks around, processing everything you told him. You canât imagine what Jeongin was going throughâbeing stuck in a dilemma where he either cross the line with his noonasâ boundaries or run the risk of letting the public know of his hyungsâ info.
âYouâreâŠnot mad at Jeongin, are you?â
With your puppy eyes, thereâs no way he can. âThinking about it, he did the right thing. If he took those nasty videos and pictures, then itâs not only their privacy that was taken away, but also their dignity. At least for us, we were able to solve it within a few days. Donât worry, I can never get angry at him.â
He wraps his arm around your neck, pulling you in. He gives you a knuckle sandwich to lighten the mood. However, it doesnât ease the worry in your chest. Even though youâre more than okay, youâre more concerned about Jeongin and how heâs handling the responsibility. Heâs pure-hearted, so he must be beating himself up right now.
âI really hope he doesnât get in trouble for this. Heâll be okay, right?â
âIâŠâ Chan looks down, unsure of what to say.
Of course, itâs better to reassure you that heâll be fine, but the crime he committed is still inexcusable. While he knows that the members will forgive him after learning of the dilemma that he was in, he isnât sure if the police will.
Jeongin and the policeman exit the private room. You want to reach out to him, but you pull your hand back. He doesnât look at you nor Chan like heâs pretending he doesnât know you two, and it hurts a little.
âExcuse me, where are you two going?â You ask.
âTo the police station. I feel itâs more private to talk there than here.â
You keep staring at him, but heâs still not looking. âYouâre not gonna do anything to him, are you?â
âAs far as we know, nothing. We need more time to investigate before jumping to conclusions.â
They walk off, but before they do, you thought about calling out to him. You want to let him know that he didnât do anything bad, but itâs too late since the policeman has already taken him out. You drop your weight down on the couch again, sighing.
âI really, really hope they donât make him feel bad about what he did. Why canât they just tell us already that Jeongin wonât get in trouble?â
Chan takes a seat next to you, patting your back. âLet them do their job. As long as they do the investigation properly, then Iâm certain theyâll know that heâs innocent.â
Naturally, itâs normal for you to worry about the person you like. Despite the comfort, you canât help but think about the worse as you bury your face in your hands. âWhen that intruder was holding him down, I was so scared that I couldnât think. He told me to run, but I froze. I didnât know if I wanted to run or help him. If only I thought quicker then it wouldnât have come to this.â
âHey, nowâs not the time to be putting the blame on yourself. You two did the best you could in this situation, and it couldâve been a lot worse. Donât be so pessimistic and keep your chin up.â He smiles.
You exhale, forcing a grin. âYeaâŠyouâre right.â
You look out the window, praying that everything will turn out smoothly. Hopefully, the police wonât put the blame on Jeongin and that they would catch the intruder.
==========
Thankfully, the police let Jeongin go. They understood the situation that he was in and released him shortly after the interrogation. Although what he did was technically illegal, it was for the sake of protecting the girl group from falling into the hands of unwanted circumstance.
You had to tell the members in secret about what happened and begged for them not to look down on Jeongin for his mistakes. Many of them were dumbfounded, unsure of how they should take in the information just like when you and Chan first heard about it. However, they all came to an agreement to abide by your request and treat him the same as usual.
Unfortunately, despite the efforts to forget about the past, Jeonginâs high-spirts is no longer present. That charm he had during every group rehearsals doesnât appear anymore, and when the members try to play around with him, he would brush them off and ask for space. He doesnât talk to anyone, specifically you.
As if you thought before his avoidance was bad, this is worse. The moment you enter the room, he would stay the furthest away. When you try talking to him, he would turn the other direction and walk away. Itâs been like this for days now, and itâs beginning to wither your hopes of ever talking to him like you two used to.
 Youâre in the office area of the building, staying overtime to write a proposal to give Stray Kidsâ a spot on an American show. It was very difficult having with the language barrier and having to wait for messages to be translated and sent. But you manage to finish it, so as a sign of victory, you lean back in your chair, stretching your arms as you groan.
âJust finished?â Your co-worker asks as she stands up from the opposite end of your cubicle.
âYea, it took forever! But itâs finished and thatâs all that matters.â
âThatâs great! I just finished my work too and Iâm exhausted. Also, I heard that thereâs a delay with the train that you usually take. Itâs going to be dangerous since the station is gonna be empty and youâre a woman. Thereâs a lot of creeps hanging around at night, so be careful.â
You gulp. âActuallyâŠI plan on staying another night here.â
âAgain?!â
âI can always sleep in one of the lounges and use the spare blankets and pillows. The couches are actually pretty comfortable once you get used to it.â
âYeaâŠbut itâs not good for your back. WellâŠitâs still safer than going back home alone. Just make sure that no oneâs peeping at you while youâre asleep.â
Itâs not that you think that nighttime is dangerous, but ever since that time when you got attacked by that man, youâve been a little afraid to be alone. Just the thought of walking by yourself in the city scares you, like heâs watching your every step. Even staying the building is still enough to keep your guard up, so you havenât been able to sleep properly either.
âDonât worry. You should hurry. Your boyfriend is probably waiting for you at the parking lot. You shouldnât make him wait.â
âThanks! Iâll see you tomorrow.â
Your coworker walks out of the office, taking her phone out to let her boyfriend know that she just left. As she turns the corner, she is startled when she nearly bumps into someone. When she recognizes the person to be Jeongin, she sighs in relief.
âOh my god, you startled me!â
âIâm sorry!â He bows.
âYouâre Jeongin from that group, Stray Kids, right? Are you waiting for (Y/N)?â
He looks through the window, twiddling with his fingers. Even though he doesnât answer, she has a feeling that sheâs right.
âShe just finished work, but that crazy woman is planning on sleeping here again.â
âSleeping here?? Why?â
She shrugs her shoulders. âShe wonât give a reason, but itâs probably because itâs late. I mean, if I didnât have my boyfriend pick me up every time I have to overwork then I would probably do the same.â
He looks over at the window again, watching you yawn. âI didnât know sheâs been doing thatâŠâ
âYou didnât? But arenât you with her every day?â
âWellâŠâ he adverts his eyes.
Judging by his tone, something tells her that he and you havenât been speaking much since the incident.
âUhmâŠI was just wondering if sheâs alright. Sheâs been doing fine, right?â
âWhy donât you ask her? Sheâs right there.â
âI-itâs okay. I have to head back to the dorms later. I just wanted to see if she was still there.â
âNo, really! You should talk to her. Iâm sure youâll brighten her mood if you drop by and say hello.â Your coworker grabs him by the arm.
âN-no, itâs fine. Iâm sure she doesnât need any more distractions.â
She lowers her eyebrows, unamused by his answer. Thatâs when an idea sparks in her mind. She pulls him in to whisper something in his ears.
âYou should really take some time to talk to her, even if you donât want to. Sheâs been dying to talk to you.â
âHuh? Why?â
âWellâŠIâm not in the position to say thisâŠbut I have a feeling that sheâll never tell you, so Iâm just gonna say it. She really likes you.â
He jerks his head back. âWhat?!â
She nods. âSheâs probably gonna be mad if she finds out that I told you, but keep it a secret. But anyway, whateverâs going on with you and her, you two should move on from it. You two seem to have a really healthy relationship. Itâs sad to see you guys are distant, especially hearing her talk about you every single day.â
His cheeks turn red. Not once has he ever noticed that this is how you feel about him. He just assumed that you werenât interested since the other members are more attractive than him.
âDid she tell you?â He asks.
âLet me tell you more, but I donât want her to be listening in to our conversation soâŠâ she signals Jeongin to come closer with her hand.
He leans over and she continues whispering in his ear.
 As theyâre chatting, it catches your attention. You raise your head up with a smile perking up when you see Jeongin. However, it quickly goes away when you notice that your coworker is holding his arm and whispering in his ear. Thereâs an aching pain in your heart which you can only describe as envy. Jeongin has been ignoring you for weeks on end, so itâs unfair to find that he allows your coworker to touch and talk to him like that, even when she has a boyfriend already.
â(Y/N)!â Your coworker calls from the door. âJeongin is here. Iâm gonna head out now. See you tomorrow!â
She walks off, pressing the elevator button and entering, leaving you and Jeongin alone. You stand up from your desk, grabbing your purse and folders.
âH-hey. How are you doing?â Itâs been so long since you last spoke to him that you forgot how you normally talk to him.
âIâm doing fine. Your coworker said that youâre spending the night here?â
âHuh? Oh yea.â
You wish she didnât tell him. It makes you feel slightly ashamed that youâre sleeping in such a public place even though you already have a place to stay. It isnât that you have a lot of work that you have to stay here either, but itâs just that youâre afraid to go by yourself.
âYouâve been staying here?â
âOhâŠyeaâŠitâs a little late, s-so I thought it would be safer to just stay here.â
âI can walk home with you.â
âWh-what?!â
âAreâŠare you okay with that?â
Youâve never thought that he would be the one to make the first move. He rarely is the one to approach you and suggest to tag along with you. There mustâve been something that your coworker said to make him ask you.
âYou shouldnât! Itâs too dangerous for you to go alone! Just because youâre not a girl doesnât mean that you canât fall victim to sudden attacks too.â
âItâs not about that. Sleeping on those couches is not comfortable and youâll get back pains from sleeping on those rocks. I can walk you to the train station.â
âButâŠâ
He begins to sulk, puckering his bottom lips up and his eyes gleaming. You can never say no to him, so you have no other choice but to let him. Besides, this is also a great chance to talk to him. Hopefully, the awkward mood between you two will finally dissipate.
âOkayâŠâ
==========
You two are at the train station, sitting on a bench together next to a soda machine. Just as you thought, itâs completely empty hereâjust you and Jeongin. Since you two havenât spoken in a while, you donât know what to talk about, so the silence makes the awkwardness louder.
âI-is there anything you want to drink?â He asks.
âItâs fine. Are you thirsty?â You stand up from your seat. âYou donât have to use your money or anything, so I canââ
âNo, let me do it. What drink do you want?â
âI said itâs fine. Iâll buy for you.â
You get up from the bench, but Jeongin raises his hand in front of you to stop you from moving further. âWhat drink do you want?â
Adamant that heâs the one paying, you knew you lost the argument. You sit back down, thinking about what to drink. âCanned coffee is fine.â
He takes out his wallet from his jean pocket, picking out the right amount of coins. After inserting them inside the slot, he slouches his back slightly, picking two drinksâone Cola and one coffee.
âHere.â
âThank you!â you set the can down and rummage through your purse.
âWhat are you doing?â
âIâm repaying you. How much was it?â
âYou donât have to pay me back.â
âWhat!? But vending machine prices have been increasing lately and you couldâve used that money for something else. This is the least I can do.â
He shakes his head as if heâs ashamed. âYou can stop playing like a good person, Manager.â
The bluntness was like a direct shot in the heart. Judging by his tone, he sounded like heâs tired of you having to do everything for him, even the littlest of things. Although your intentions comes from a good place, youâre still able to annoy him, and it makes you feel guilty.
âO-ohâŠIâm sorry.â
Your apology made him realize what he said. âNoâŠI should be the one sorry.â
He takes a seat once you have nothing else to say. Once again, the awkward atmosphere returns, and itâs so apparent that you two canât bring yourselves to look at each other. The only sounds that are filling the space in between are the sips that you two take from your drinks.
âSoâŠhow have you been?â You ask.
âGood.â
âThe hyungs arenât messing with you?â
âNo. Theyâve been treating me well.â
âThatâs good.â
A few more seconds of no talking.
âHowâs work?â
âItâs going fine! Itâs really time consuming, so I donât get to visit you guys as much as I used to. Iâm almost done, so Iâll be able to visit you guys soon,â but after making that suggestion, you retract from it. âB-but if Iâm bothering you guys, then I wonât stay for too long.â
âI never said that you should leave. Youâre our manager, so you can stay for as long as you like.â
âButâŠwhat if itâs disrupting your practice?â
Jeongin doesnât reply immediately. Rather, he creases his eyebrows as if he doesnât understanding where this is coming from. âYouâve never cared if it bothered you before. Why is it so different now?â
âB-becauseâŠâ
âIs it because of what happened?â
You nearly stop breathing. He was being vague, but you know exactly what he means.
You shake your head profusely. âNo! Never!â
âThen how come youâve been sleeping at the company?â
âWellâŠlike I said, I have a lot of work andââ
âDonât lie to meâŠitâs my fault, isnât it?â
âWh-what?â
âYou hate me, donât you? Itâs my fault that youâre scared of going home by yourself and why you donât want to see us anymore.â
âNo, donât think like that!â
âDonât sugar coat it for me! You know how much I donât like being babied. Why canât you just yell at me for once for the burden I put on you and the hyungs?! I really, really hate being let go of things that I deserve punishment for.â
You donât know where this is coming from. From what you can guess, he canât keep the guilt contained any longer and needs to let it off.
âWhen you and the hyungs supported me despite doxing personal information, you all still sided with me, but it felt forced. It wasnât because you guys believed that what I still was justifiable, but because Iâm the youngest and built this unconditional care for me. I-Iâm thankful for itâŠbutâŠit feels like Iâm not growing because of that!â
His words are jumping from one place to another. Itâs as if heâs spouting the first things that come to mind. Youâre aware of the weight that he has to carry because of the mistake he made, but you didnât expect it to be this heavy.
This is how heâs been feeling this entire time and you didnât know. You were too afraid to ask, scared that he was going to ignore you. Due to that cowardice, it drifted you and him apart to the point that you donât whatâs going through his mind. You failed at being a managerâtending to the membersâ needs and wants by putting yourself before them. Even though youâre afraid about what happened that day, you canât forget that Jeongin went through more.
You place your hand over his, catching him off-guard. âWe didnât side with you because we love you unconditionally. We did because we knew that deep down, you werenât the intruderâs accomplice.â
âB-butâŠI was the one who put us in danger.â
âYea, but I know that you didnât do it without consent. You were blackmailed and had to be put into a situation that you never planned to be involved in ever in your life. AndâŠabout me not visiting you guys as much as I did prior, Iâm sorry about that. I thought you didnât want me to be in the same room, so I left in hopes that it made you feel better.â
ââŠIt didnât.â
Your eyes widen when he puts his other hand over yours. But what was more surprising was how he was no longer fighting back his tears.
âI miss those days when you came to see us, those times when we played around. Seeing you always brightened my day, even if that day was terrible. Just a glimpse of you was enough to make me forget about all the bad things.â
Your heart races, never expecting for this situation to turn intimate.
âBut when you started seeing us less, I thought it was because you hated me. I kept avoiding you for weeks, and then I put you in a vulnerable spot where I pathetically watched as you were being tormented by that stupid guy! I hate myself because everythingâs my fault.â
He continues to cry, lowering his head for being too ashamed to make eye contact. Tears fall from his cheeks, each drip representing the pressure that he desired to escape from.
Unable to bear seeing him tear himself apart, you wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a hug. He stops sobbing, processing whatâs going on.
âIâm sorry, Jeongin. I didnât know what you were going through, but donât let it get to you.â
You hug him tighter, then he puts his head on your shoulder.
âYouâre not getting it off easily because we all know that what you did was for the better. If you did what he said, then you wouldâve risked Twiceâs privacy, but you were willing to risk your integrity and your relationship with your hyungs so that theyâre safe.â
He buries his face in your shoulder, his tears soaking into your shirt. âI thought he was a nice person, but when I found out that he wasnât, I was so scared. I wanted to tell you guys everything, but I was afraid that it was going to get you guys in trouble. I didnât know what to do.â
âItâs okay. Itâs over with. Thereâs no need to keep moping,â you pull back, showing your smile. âItâs in the past. All you can do left is acknowledged it happen, not let it happen again, and keep moving forward.â
He sniffles, wiping the tears from his eyes with his palms. His sparkling eyes look back at you with such innocence that you canât believe someone is heartless enough to take advantage of him. You reach into your purse and take out some tissue. Without thinking, you wipe his tears yourself, which caught him by surprise. He jerks back a little, but he continues to give you permission to touch his face.
Itâs been a long time since you had such a personal conversation with him that itâs making you a little nervous. You canât even look at him any longer than a few seconds before having to turn around. But amidst your timid behavior, you feel something warm around your hand. Itâs Jeonginâs hand, wrapping his long fingers around your knuckles.
This move alone is enough to cause a rush of explosive emotions. You always did well hiding how you felt about him, but it may be because of your lack of interaction with him that itâs been more difficult than usual. Youâre too ashamed to look at him in the eyes, afraid that heâll catch your red face.
âSometimes I wish you would go harder on me like how you are with the older members. Why wonât you?â
âBe-becauseâŠâ
âDonât tell me that itâs because Iâm the youngest.â His innocent, puppy eyes then turn serious.
Your heart skips a beat like fireworks are going off.
âYou see me as a child, so is that why you arenât going hard on me?â
âN-nâŠâ
âIâm a man too, you know? I donât like being called the baby, especially by you,â He inches closer to your face. âThatâs why I work out a lot, so that you donât see me as a baby anymore. I donât sing those ridiculous children songs anymore because I want you to see me in a different light. Thatâs why you should let me grow up.â
âI-I amâŠâ
âAnd your age isnât all that far from me either, and yet, you treat me like a child.â
Heâs moving in so close that you have to push him away. âH-heyâŠweâre in public, Jeongin.â
âWeâre alone. Itâs fine,â he holds onto your hand. âTell me honestly, what do you think of me?â
Your heart is pounding so loud that Jeongin must be able to hear it. You look away, too embarrassed to look at him. You keep thinking about what others might think if they found out about your feelings for him.
âNo! I donât wanna say!â You press on his chest and push him off.
Because of your resilience, it irritates him slightly. âI know itâs my fault for pushing you to the side a lot, but you donât have to be so dismissive with me when Iâm asking you a question.â
âNo! You donât understand!!â
âUnderstand what?!â
âThatâŠthatâŠâ
Your face turns redder. Youâre so ashamed to look that you canât even bring yourself to look at him. Exhausted from your refusal to speak, he presses both his hands against your cheeks and forces you to look at his face.
âIf you wonât tell me, then can I assume what I think it is?â
Your heart skips a beat, hoping that he doesnât hit the target accurately. âWh-what are you thinking?â
He smiles slyly, and thatâs when you realization that your assumption is correct. He closes his eyes as he leans closer to you. Even though youâre afraid, you canât move your body. You know that what heâs doing isnât right, especially since his reputation is on the line.
You thought about what your coworker said about worrying too much about his own sake. Although his public image is important, his personal life matters just as much, if not, more. Heâs been going through so much, so the least you could do is answer him. You hold onto his sleeve, closing your eyes as well. You donât want to turn down the person you like for a long time.
However, the mood switches when you and Jeongin hear the sound of a camera shutter go off. A white flash blinds you and him, and the color in your eyes fade when you discover the same intruder is standing a few feet away from you two, holding a camera in his hands.
âHey!â
The man runs off, and Jeongin chases after him.
âJeongin, wait!â
You chase after him, leaving your can of coffee on the bench.
==========
No matter how fast you run, you can never catch up to Jeongin and the man. At some point, you lost sight of them, so you slow down to catch your breath. You knew that he wasnât caught by the police, but you wouldâve never expected him to find them again.
You never noticed that man there because you were too focused on Jeongin, and because of that, his reputation is at risk. You pull your hair, repeatedly calling yourself an idiot for letting your emotions override your logic. You knew it was better to watch for his reputation than to let your selfish desires take over.
You know you should let somebody know about this, but you donât know who. You thought about contacting the other managers, but theyâre in a different city with some of the other members. You try thinking about the members who are close by, and the only person you can think of is Chan. You dial his number, praying that he picks up the call.
âHello?â
âChan? Chan!â
âItâs really late. Did you need something?â
âTheâŠthe intruderâŠJeongin is chasing after the intruder!â
âWait, what? What are you talking about?â
âThe guyâŠwho broke into the buildingâŠHe saw me and Jeongin, and heâs chasing after the guy right now.â
âWhoa, hold onâŠWhat?! Where are you guys?!â
âWeâre at the north train station. WellâŠwe were, but they ran off somewhere and I canât find them. What should we do?? Should I call the police?â
âIf you canât find them, then that means youâre alone! Go back to the building and Iâll call the police. Itâs too dangerous for you to be walking around late at night.â
âButâŠâ you look at the direction that Jeongin and the man ran toward.
âHurry back!â Chan hangs up, most likely so that he can call the police.
You stare at your call history after he hung up. He did warn you to go back to the building, but a part of you wants to search for Jeongin. You know itâs safer for you to return, but you canât leave Jeongin in the hands of danger, especially with that man. You apologize to Chan in your head, continuing to follow the trail that Jeongin and man went.
==========
Despite following the road they took, you canât seem to find them. You try calling Jeonginâs phone, but he wonât pick up. Each time the phone goes to voicemail, it worries you even more that he mightâve gotten hurt.
âWhere could you have gone?â You mumble to yourself.
You run up a staircase that leads to a bridge above a freeway. You pray that going to the peak of the bridge will give you a good view of your surroundings. As you press your stomach on the rails with your hand resting on the fence above the rails, the dark night makes it nearly impossible to inspect the area. You turn around, exhaling with exhaustion. Youâre unable to think of anywhere else that Jeongin and that man couldâve gone to.
You check your phone to find a spam of text messages from Chan. He must be upset that you didnât do as you were told. You debate on whether or not you should return and hear his wrath or if you should continue your search for Jeongin. One half of you thinks that this search is pointless and should be handed to the police. However, the other half believes that you should continue in hopes that the longer you search, the chances youâll find him.
But realistically speaking, itâs better if you go back. You worried Chan and the other boys enough. âSorry, Jeongin.â
Before putting your phone back in your pocket, you check the time to see that itâs past midnight. You pick up your feet and drag them across the ground.
However, youâre at a halt when a familiar man stands a few feet away from you. You recognized him immediatelyâyou can never get that deadpan look on his face out of your head. Youâre frozen, figuring out how to comprehend that the man is standing in front of you, and without Jeongin.
âIt looks like youâre alone.â He speaks.
You voice is caught in your throat, unable to say anything snarky. You canât tell if heâs armed, but with or without it, youâre still scared. You know what heâs capable of, yet you donât know what heâs thinking about right now.
âWh-whereâs Jeongin?â
He rotates his head to crack them as he groans. âWhy do you care about that kid?! You should be worried about yourself. Fuck if I know where he went.â
You take a step back and he takes a step forward. He finds amusement in your fear, so he smirks. âBecause of you and that damn kid, I almost went to jail. Do you guys not know how pissed off I am??â
âWhat are you talking about?! Youâre the one who doxed their information and blackmailed Jeongin to give you photos of Twice!â
âWhat?!â He grinds his teeth. âAre you saying that itâs my fault?? That spoiled brat canât do shit! He gets to see them every day, and Iâm the one who deserves being punished?!â
At this rate, thereâs no point in reasoning with him. No matter what you say, heâll find an excuse to avoid responsibility.
âIâm so fucking mad right now. I took that photo of you and him so I can use that against him too. He tried chasing me down the streets and thankfully I was able to avoid him. But because of him, I dropped my damn camera! Since I found you, I might as well let some steam off.â
Oh no. Without thinking, you turn around and run down the stairs. He chases after you, sprinting at full speed. Even though there are dozens of cars in the freeway, but none of them are coming out to help. You can hear his footsteps, but youâre too afraid to look behind and see how close he is.
As you jog down the stairs, your hair is grabbed by the man. He pulls you back, causing you to fall backward and hit your back against the cement stairs. With the railings covering what heâs doing to you, the cars canât see anything.
âLetâs finish off where it last left.â He snickers.
Your eyes become teary, believing that his face might be the last thing youâll see before you die. It may sound a bit overly dramatic, but not knowing whatâs going to happen, the worst outcome is the only thing you can think of. All you want to do now is apologize to the members for not being a competent manager.
âGet your hands off of her!â A familiar voice come from the distance.
You glance at the top of the bridge to find a dark figure. The moonlight behind the personâs head blackens his features, making it difficult to see the face. However, you can tell who this person is.
Jeongin runs down the steps and lunges at the man. The two roll down the staircase until they meet at the bottom. With Jeongin on top, he puts his knees on the manâs arms so he canât hurt him. Now that you can see him under a better light, itâs clear that Jeongin is filled with rage. If you thought the man was upset, itâs nothing compared to his.
In one full swing, he punches the man across the face, so far that his head turned in the same direction as his fist. Jeongin punches again, but with his other hand. He repeats this back and forthâone hand then the other. You watch in horror as youâve never seen him this angry before. Heâs gotten irritated and shouted, but never gone to the extent of physically hurting somebody else. He always blamed himself whenever there was trouble.
You donât want to see him like this. You snap out of it and run toward him. You pull him back, getting a quick glimpse of his torn, bloody knuckles from all the excessive beating. It scares you a bit, but you shake that thought out of your head and focus on pulling him away.
Youâre able to pull him away. Around the same time, one driver gets out of his car and detains the man before he can escape. He struggles to escape the driverâs grasp as he shouts very curse word in the dictionary.
âWhy did you pull me away?!â
His question catches you off-guard. âWh-what?â
âWhy didnât you let me continue?! He deserves to get beaten!â
âB-because! I didnât want you to get hurt.â
âDonât you remember everythingâs he done to us?! He goes out of his way to make sure that our lives are miserable. And youâre letting him get away with it?â
âNo! Thatâs not it!â
As the debate continues, a crowd begins to form. Rather than this being a serious situation, the people around you and him becomes a spectacle as they whip out their phones to record it. But it doesnât matter how many people are around you. Youâre only paying attention to Jeongin.
âI get itâŠyouâre frustrated. Youâre upset about everything heâs done to you, but I donât want you to sink to his level,â You hold onto his arm. âYouâre better than this scum. You worked hard for years to be where youâre at. Donât waste it away because of a jerk who doesnât know what youâve been through.â
His anger subsides and relaxes his shoulders. It turns out that the anger is just a disguise for the tears that heâs been hiding. He covers his eyes with the palm of his hands as he sobs.
âIâm so angry with myself. I couldnât save you when you were being attacked by him back at the company, so when I saw how he was hurting you again, I couldnât control myself. I didnât want to stand in fear anymore.â
As he continues crying, you wrap your arms around him now knowing that you two wonât go through any trouble anymore. You have a feeling that this will be the last time the man will harass both you and Jeongin. Itâs almost like the clouds have finally allowed the sun to shine on the two of you.
----------
âSoâŠâ You begin.
You and Jeongin are walking across the hall of the company building. There are Band-Aids all over his knuckles, and you have one over your left cheek. Itâs been a few days since the incident, and you and Jeongin have finally returned to normal.
Youâre hiding your hands behind your back, a little embarrassed to ask him a certain question. But your curiosity was getting the better of you that you need to know. âThat one nightâŠwhat were you talking about with my co-worker?â
His cheeks turn red, turning away from you as he sucks in his lips. His reaction makes you even more nervous.
âYou were very comfortable with herâŠn-not that thereâs anything wrong with that. Iâm just wondering.â
âWhy are you wondering?â
His questioning makes you even more worried. âW-when did you guys started talking?â
âThat was our first time. She knows who I am, but I didnât know her.â
âDid she tell you something?â You press on, but you try not to pry too much.
He bites his bottom lip. âItâs a secret.â
âWhat?! But I thought we agreed on no more secrets.â
âYea, butâŠif I tell you then youâll get angry.â
âNo I wonât!â
âThen why do you want to know?â He chuckles.
Your face turns red. âB-becauseâŠâ
âIâll tell you but you have to tell me why you want to know.â
âNo!â
You and Jeongin continue the conversation while walking down the hall. In the midst of you talking, he zones out, thinking about the past few weeks. Every single day felt unbearable because he couldnât bear to look at you knowing the deeds heâs done. He never thought the day you would talk to him casually again would happen. It makes him smile knowing that you two finally made it to the other side.
âWhy are you smiling? Did my coworker say something about me?â
He averts his eyes, hesitating to speak. âNo.â
âI knew it! What did she say about me?!
âNothing.â
âYouâre lying. I wanna know what you guys talked about.â
âAre you jealous?â
âJealous?!â Your entire face turns red. âNever.â
He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. You fall onto his chest, and this makes your face turn redder. You canât believe that this is the same person you first met long ago when he was just seventeen. He was so shy that he barely said a word during the first introduction.
âWhat we talked about isnât important.â He rests his head on top of yours.
If he could, then he would kiss you. But since you guys are in public, he doesnât want to risk anybody catching him kissing you again. Perhaps one day, heâll be more confident and tell you his real feelings as well. Heâs not there yet, since he wants to wait until heâs sure that you no longer see him as a child. For now, holding you close to him is the best he can do. Never will he ever let what happened before happen again between you and him.
[End]
A/N: Thank you everyone for reading this until the end! I hope everyone is safe and sound :) Even though lots of us are going through hard times, Iâm sure we can get through this. This fanfic took me a long time because I was stuck on a long brain fart :( Anyway, I want you all to have a wonderful day!
I just want to say your writing is amazing! đ It's just !!!! I have no words!! Your Yeonjun fic is brilliant! The way you portrayed how the relationships change and how people change is just beautiful! I'm sorry that I have no words to describe how much I love your writing! đđđ I hope you have a good day/night/weel/month/year! Stay safe darling! đ
Thank you so much! I was really afraid that the Yeonjun fanfic was going to receive a lot of negative feedback because of the way I characterized the idols in the story, but Iâm glad you and many others enjoy it!! I also hope youâre having a good day and so on and stay safe as well ^^
Hey! I just read your fanfic 'Your Dance' and I can just say I love the characterisation? I'm really impressed with how you linked Hyunjin's goal to be hardworking in this fanfic. Regardless if you are going to write any more, this was such a nice read so thank you! Have a good day/night
Hi!! Sorry for late response!! And thank you so much for leaving a response ^^ Iâm currently having a writerâs block, but once I get through it, Iâm definitely going to post more fanfics! Have a lovely day/night to you too!!!!
Summary:Â Yeonjun wants to be more than his titles, some that doesnât even belong to him. He just wants to be himself, but when the media doesnât let him, it takes a toll on him.
Warnings: Some **spoiler**, but I just want to say that Iâm not trying to antagonize BTS or fans from either bands in this story. Itâs a highly dramatized, fictional story, and Iâm sorry if it offends you in any way!
Youâll never forget that day, walking down the halls at three in the morning. You didnât want to be there because you just spent the entire day working. âAppreciate that you have a secure job at that entertainment agencyâ is what your friends and family would tell you after landing a great opportunity to work at one of the most famous music companies. You hated working here because of the pressure of working for nearly the entire day managing five trainees. Thereâs so much workload that you even contemplated on quitting.
But peeking through the door thatâs slightly ajar of a dance room, it changed your entire perspective. It gave you another reason to keep going forward with these trainees. Sitting alone in the hollow practice room is Yeonjun, curled up in a ball. His shirt is drenched in sweat, or at least thatâs what you thought. Although it is sweat, it took you a moment to realize that some of the wet spots on his shirt are also tears. This young man, who dreams of becoming a star, is sitting by himself in a defeated pose like heâs going to give in to the overwhelming stress. No one is there to comfort him, left to be ridiculed by his dark thoughts. Only at the ripe age of eighteen, he already thinks that heâs incompetent.
âI canât do this anymoreâŠâ He muttered under his breath.
==========
âJokbal! Jokbal! Jokbal!â Yeonjun chants, fist-pumping the air.
You and Yeonjun are at the grocery store, looking through the meat section. While youâre looking for pig trotters, heâs singing a tune he made up in his head with the only lyrics to his song is jokbal. Heâs wearing a face mask and baseball hat to hide his identity, but those arenât enough to hide the excitement in his eyes.
âGet the spicy kind!â
âAlright, alright.â
âLetâs also get chicken feet! Pizza! Pasta!â
You chuckle. âYou sound like a child.â
âWhatâs there not to be excited about? You said that we can be spoiled brats tonight, so I wanna eat whatever I want.â
âYea, but donât you think itâs going to be too much for you guys to eat?â
âEh, itâs fine,â he waves his hand nonchalantly. âItâs coming from the companyâs credit card, right? That means weâre finally allowed to eat anything with no limits. Besides, we donât have a recording tomorrow, so we donât gotta worry about looking puffy.â
You donât think youâll ever understand how Yeonjunâs brain is wired. Still, itâs great seeing him smile this much. In the midst of their busy schedule, they have the entire day off. And the day before, it ended perfectly with their first win for Crown. Theyâve never been this exuberant before.
âAlso, letâs get some bubble tea. Kai and Soobin might want some ice cream too. Beomgyu wants kimbap and Taehyun wants some toast. Letâs go, letâs go!â
âGive me a sec. I still have to get some jokbal, then restock kimchi for you guys. Also, you guys need some more tangerineââ
âNo more tangerines! We eat that enough already. Bubble tea!!!â Heâs like a child about to receive a lollipop.
Despite being the eldest, heâs got a cute side to him that you find lovable. âAlright, where do you wanna get your drink?â
âLetâs go to 7 Leafs! I heard a new one opened down the street.â
âOkay, after we shop. Text the other boys what they want.â
âYessir.â
âExcuse me?â
âYes, Maâam.â He puckers his lips, swaying his head side-to-side playfully.
You hurriedly look through the shopping list on your phone. The boys must be starving back at the dorms, so you want to hurry and get back as soon as possible. You can already imagine Beomgyu clinging onto one of the members and whining about how hungry he is.
While Yeonjunâs distracted with his phones, two women are whispering and pointing at him, occasionally giggling like school girls. Even with his disguise, heâs still spotted. Though, what did you expect? With their explosive debut, theyâre bound to be instantly recognized in the public.
ââŠGoâŠâ One girl mutters.
âNo, you go first.â
They nudge each other, pushing one over the other to see who gets to Yeonjun first. Heâs still oblivious to the fans, finishing his text message and sending it to the group chat. During times like these, you would push Yeonjun away from these girls to avoid drawing more attention, but since they arenât hinting at any sort of danger, you decide to let it be.
After some minor arguments, one of the girls approaches him, although she keeps her eyes locked to the ground. âUhmâŠexcuse me?â
Her voice catches Yeonjunâs attention, so he turns to her, startling her. âHello?â
âAre youâŠYeonjun from Tomorrow by Together?â
He nods, and she squeals.
âI-Iâm sorry if Iâm bothering you!!â
Her eyes are fixated on Yeonjun. Even though youâre right next to him, she behaves like you donât exist.
âNo, itâs really fine. Did you want to take a picture? Manager, we can take a picture, right?â
You shrug your shoulders. âGo ahead.â
âO-oh, I wasnât intending on taking a picture. I was just wondering...â she rummages through her purse.
Yeonjunâs eyes lighten up at the thought that this lady is going to give him a gift. He even got his hand out and ready to accept the present. Eventually, she finds what she wanted to give, and itâs a small box of chocolate the size of his hand.
âI was wondering if you can give these to Taehyung-oppa!â She covers her mouth.
And that gleam of happiness is immediately diminished, like a gust of wind blown against a lit candle. You donât need to see under his mask to know that he lost the will to smile. Itâs like his confidence has been stomped on, glaring down at the gift that isnât even his. Itâs not even for another member from his groupâitâs for their senior.
âM-my friend and I have been fans of BTS since we were nineteen, so can you let him know that weâre thankful for everything heâs done? He really saved me from the darkest time in my life.â
Heâs at a loss of words, baffled at this outrageous request. But rather than going off on the woman, Yeonjun laughs stiffly, scratching the back of his head. âIâm sorry I donât know if I can give it to him because we donât see each other much.â
Her shy nature disappears, cocking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow. âHuh? But youâre the same company. How do you guys not see each other often? I thought you guys are already like family to them.â
âItâsâŠmuch more complicated than that. Our schedules never correlate, so thatâs why. If it makes you feel better, we can take a picture andââ
âThenâŠitâs okay. Sorry to bother you guys. You can have the chocolate though.â She waves goodbye and returns to her friend.
You shouldâve stepped in when you had the chance. Yeonjun is at a loss of words as he watches the two girls trek off as if this never happened. Even though theyâre walking off, he can hear fragments of their conversation.
âHe kind of looks like Taehyungie-oppaâŠdo you think heâŠpassed auditionsâŠbecauâŠlooks?â One whispers.
âMaybe. ButâŠchinâŠtoo big. Teeth too.â
If you two werenât in public, then you wouldâve smacked them without hesitation. To bother Yeonjun during his day off only to push him aside because heâs not the idol theyâre looking for, itâs just outright rude. This clearly ruined his mood, and now heâs become sullen. He rubs his chin, thinking about the last girlâs comment.
âIgnore them. Letâs go back and celebrate, yea?â
He nods, but his smile hasnât returned.
==========
âHere you guys go!â You set a plate of jokbal on the floor.
In the living room of their crowded dorm, the five of them crowd around the meal that youâve prepared for them. Despite the many clothes that are sprawled across the floor and trash left out on the coffee table, youâre able to brush them aside to make room for the six of you to sit together. Other than the pigsâ feet, thereâs also pizza and chicken feet. Beomgyuâs mouth waters, but before he even eats, he briefly takes pictures of it with his phone.
âYou didnât have to waste your time making this when you couldâve just ordered it.â Taehyun states with a monotone expression.
âI know, but in honor of your first win, I wanted to cook from scratch.â
âYou made the pigsâ feet, but you ended up ordering pizza and chicken feetâŠâ Taehyun flicks open a can of Coke.
âOkay, pizza is hard to make from scratch, and chicken feetâŠthe nailsâŠâ Shivers run down your spine.
âTaehyunâŠyou could at least say thank you,â Soobin elbows him.
Now flustered, Taehyun looks down. ââŠSorryâŠthank you.â
âNo, no! Itâs okay. For all we know, my cooking is probably not that great.â
âAnything from the Manager is going to be super great! Thank you very much!!â Huening Kai leans over and rubs your stomach.
âHurry, hurry! Letâs eat.â Beomgyu takes a plate full of chicken feet.
âSays the one who kept taking pictures.â Soobin mumbles.
Each member takes a plate of food. Even though you know full well how average your cooking is, the boys are starving, so theyâll take anything. Everyone digs in to their dinner, all except for Yeonjun. As youâre eating the pizza, stretching the cheese from your mouth, you stare at him, waiting for him to take a bite.
âYeonjun? Are you gonna eat?â You ask while covering your mouth full of food.
He shakes his head, rubbing his chin. âNoâŠIâm not hungry.â
âWhat? But you were so excited to eat.â
âIâm full from the bubble tea.â
He gets up and walks to their bedroom, which is extremely out of the ordinary. He never says no to food. Even when theyâre dieting, heâs the one who would sneak in food. Now that they have a chance to eat whatever they like, heâs not eating.
âDid something happen to Hyung?â Soobin asks curiously.
âSome girls were being rude.â
You didnât expect it to take a toll on him this much. What they did has definitely squash his confidence, but knowing him, there has to be more than what those girls said.
==========
Yeonjun is sitting on his bunk bed, laying on his stomach and watching a video on his phone. He hears a knock at the door.
âYeonjun? Can I come in?â You ask from the other side of the door.
He pauses the video. âCome in.â
You open the door, closing it behind you. Their bedroom is tidier than usual, and itâs probably because you were coming over for the night. Most of their clothes are hanging in the living room, so the floor isnât riddled with clothes compared to the living room.
âI told them to save some for you in case you wanna eat later. Howâre you feeling?â
âIâm finâ.â
âBe honest.â
You take a seat at the edge of his bed. He sits up, placing his pillow on his lap and scooting closer to you.
âOkay, I have a questionâŠand you have to be honest.â
âWhat is it?â
âDo I look like V-sunbaenim?â
You crease your eyebrows. âV-sunbaenim? As in, Kim Taehyung?â
He nods.
âYou two look nothing alike.â
âReally?â
âYes, you look like yourself.â
ââŠThatâs not what people say. Everyone is always telling us that we look like BTS-sunbaenim or that everything we do reminds them of them. I donât want to sound like a brat, but I really donât like it. One second, theyâre saying that Soobin looks like Jin-sunbaenim, and the other second, theyâre calling Taehyun Jungkook-sunbaenimâs clone. Do we seriously look like them?â
Itâs not only himself heâs concerned about, but the other members as well. After their debut, many news outlets exploded with articles about the similarities between them and their senior group. It was your typical cover page with a side-by-side comparison between two members, each from TXT and BTS, red circles around specific parts of their face and drawing arrows to each other. Some of them were outrageous claims, like how Soobin learned how to blow kisses from Seokjin even though Soobin only did it once and it was because the host of the radio show told him to do it.
Some people even went to the extreme and called TXT clout chasers, accusing the young boys for being too privileged. While they were treated with luxuries, they were bombarded with negative comments. It was to be expected, but they werenât prepared for this extraordinary amount of dislike. Even when they did receive compliments, it never felt genuine because somehow and some way, the same people would draw comparisons to them to their seniors, crediting them for teaching TXT how to be polite.
âNone of you guys look like them at all. If you think about it this way, and by no means am I disregarding your frustrations, you guys debuted during the peak of BTSâs popularity. These comparisons were bound to happen. All we can do now is be patient and wait for this to die down. Besides, you guys have a good amount of fans who arenât forcing themselves to like you guys.â
Despite still being gloomy, youâre able to get Yeonjun to laugh, exhaling through his nose. He elbows your arm. âHow are you so optimistic all the time?â
âBecause Iâve seen pretty much every second of your rehearsals, and Iâm always freakinâ impressed every time I watch. I canât wait until people acknowledge it too.â
He hides his face in the pillow. âYeaâŠI canât wait for that too.â
==========
After being appointed as their temporary manager, the first time you met them was in Los Angele. They looked so young and naĂŻve back then. Beomgyu, Soobin, and Huening Kai had this sort of innocence in their eyes, like they needed to be guided constantly. Despite being the same age as Huening Kai, Taehyun was always calm and professional, never allowing his nervousness show. But as for YeonjunâŠarrogant is what you would describe your first impression of him.
The way he stood firm, his chin up and his eyes looking down. You knew that he isnât a bad person, but itâs just his posture that you never liked. It was like he stood above everyone, his hands in his pockets and constantly in his âcoolâ pose like a model. Your suspicions of his arrogance came with confirmation when you learned that heâs ranked as number one in vocals, rap, and dance. To add on to the fire, heâs also a trainee for one of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea, so itâs no surprise that heâs carrying a luggage full of reasons to feel proud.
Wow, this guy probably got everything handed to him, you thought to yourself. When you started your work as their manager, you put the least amount of attention on him. You assumed that since heâs the eldest and is already sufficient with every aspect of being an idol, you didnât bother with putting in effort for him.
==========
You sit in a conference room with sales and marketing team. The lead of the team stands next to the projector, slamming a stack of paper on the table. The loud bang causes the other employees to jump, including you.
â61,400 only??â He exclaims. âJust 61k was sold?! Tell me what the fuck happened to the sales?!â
On the projector, thereâs a bar graph of TXTâs sales history. It records the number of albums that were sold between the two albums: TDC Dream and TDC Magic.
âS-SirâŠwe tried our bestâŠbut itâs just thatâŠâ
âDonât give me your fucking excuses. You all were riding on the expectation that these teens were gonna bring back the same numbers. This isnât even enough to pay back the budget used to make the damn music video,â he sighs in frustration. âJesus Christ. BTS are still on their break, but the amount they made off of their Summer Package is enough to pay for three music videos. Weâre gonna have to ask for a lower budget for the second music video.â
You glance back at the chart. It hurts seeing their two albums stand side-by-side and that dramatic drop between them. Not only that, but their music video isnât doing so well either. Compared to their debut music video, they didnât even have half of what they got on the first day, going from fourteen million views on Crown to a little under five million for 9 and Three Quarters. This is still exponentially well in terms of rookie group standards, but thereâs more to itâthere are expectations to be met.
It could easily be excused that the video websiteâs streaming rules have changed, but to have that huge drop canât simply be because of a system. Itâs already been a few days, and the views are barely going up.
But what youâre mostly worried about is what the boys think about this. To have received so much attention in the beginning only to be pretty much dropped off the face of Earth is no simple feat.
==========
You return to the practice room where the boys are rehearsing with their choreographer. While their coach i flicks his eyes at you then returning back to work, none of the boys bat an eye at you, which is normal. Theyâre so focused on training that nothing can get them out of it.
Once they finish the entire song, their dance coach turns off their song. âTake five.â
Almost like theyâve been put out of a trance, they snapped to their usual selves, falling to the ground and breathing heavily. Huening Kai is the first to notice you, running to you with what little strength he has left.
âManagerrr!! Save me!â He yelps.
He wraps his arms around you, his hand clasping around your stomach, and you get a strong scent of sweat coming from him. Though, it doesnât bother you since nearly every time you come into this room, theyâre sweating logs.
âKai is sexually harassing her.â Beomgyu teasingly shouts.
âWhat?! No, Iâm not. Am I, Manager?â He looks at you with his puppy eyes.
âNot at all. How was practice today, guys?â
âWeâre doing well! Just tightening some loose ends after we ended our first week of performing.â Soobin pulls Huening Kai away from you.
Huening Kai was about to whine, but Soobin passes a water bottle to him. Dying for water, Kai gives up the complaining for water, taking huge gulps.
âLoose ends? But I thought you guys did great on stage.â
âNot enough,â Beomgyu chimes in. âOur timing is off when we change positions.â
âKai, donât take too long to lift me up. If you take more than a second, then it messes up the rest of us.â Taehyun comments.
âAhâŠokayâŠsorry.â He lowers his head.
âI think Kai is improving a lot. Itâs so cute seeing him trying to lift Taehyun on his own.â Soobin touches shoulders with Huening Kai to cheer him up.
Huening Kai lets out a small chuckle while youâre adoring their playfulness. You glance at Yeonjun, glaring at himself in the mirror. He runs his hand through his sweaty hair. You donât know what heâs thinking, but just by that serious look on his face alone, you can tell that heâs not happy.
âHow was the meeting?â Soobin takes a sip from the water bottle.
âUhmâŠit went okay.â
âWhat was it about again?â
âItâll bore you guys if I explain it, so I rather not say. But theyâre going to change things up a bit for the second music videoâs filming.â
âOh really?â Beomgyu asks. âWhy?â
You canât bring yourself to tell them the truth. They donât go on the internet often, especially when it comes to anything that has anything to do with them, so they donât know much about the records they break or donât break. If they found out that the number of support they got for this comeback has become lackluster, then itâll just devastate them.
âUhmâŠchange in artistic direction.â You pull that out of your ass.
They seem to take your word for it, so it makes you a little relieved. But while the other members moved on, one glance at Yeonjun and you knew that he isnât convinced. Yeonjun opens his mouth to say something, so you quickly think of diverting this possibility.
âA-anyway, when rehearsals are done, we have to go to on some shows. Iâll let you guys know when itâs time to go.â
You walk out of the room, sighing. Just as you predicted, you couldnât bring yourself to tell them the truth. How do you go about telling them that they didnât do so well for this comeback? Not only that, but with your lack of experience as a manager, what can you say or do to encourage them? Even if you donât tell them, theyâll find out eventually. And you already have a feeling that Yeonjun already does.
You peek through the crack of the door, watching the boys sitting down on the ground. Even though theyâre supposed to take a break, theyâre watching a recording of themselves to see if they can finds places to improve on.
==========
Yeonjun is in the center of the main dance practice room, free-styling to a song that infuses hip hop and heavy rap. The rest of the students are sitting by the walls. You sit with the other members as theyâre just as mesmerized as the rest of the students. The way his body flows so smoothly with the rhythm is so satisfying to watch. If you didnât know who he was, then you wouldâve assumed that he was a coach or a celebrity, not a trainee.
You look at the other members. Soobin is like a high school girl experiencing their first loveâhis eyes are fixated on him, covering his gaping mouth in pure awe. Huening Kai is bopping his head to the song, more so enjoying the music itself than Yeonjunâs dance, although he still finds it entertaining to watch.
On the other hand, Beomgyu and Taehyun look jealous. Just one look and you can tell that in their heads, theyâre most likely thinking, I can do that too. And thatâs one thing you donât particularly like about Yeonjun. He takes the spotlight and enjoys it. He doesnât share any of it with the other boys. While youâre impressed by his dance, you donât find his narcissism impressive in the slightly.
When the song ends, the entire class applauds. Soobin claps louder and faster than the rest of the students, bouncing up and down from his spot. The three younger members applaud as well. But Yeonjun doesnât even look at his teammates. He waves his hands up like he wants the crowd to get louder.
âOkay, who wants to go next?â The coach asks.
A large number of students raise their hands, including Beomgyu. Although Taehyun makes it clear that heâs jealous of the attention that Yeonjun receives, he knows full well that heâs incapable of surpassing him in dance. Then thereâs Soobin and Huening Kai who would rather be on the side.
After the coach chooses the next person to freestyle, you were expecting Yeonjun to sit with you and the boys. But to your surprise, he sits with other people, receiving high fives from the other students. It really ticks you off seeing him have the audacity to act like heâs too cool for the boys. You want to bring this up with them, but they donât seem to particularly mind.
âThat was fucking awesome, dude.â One of the students says in English.
âThanks, I know I was cool.â Yeonjun replies in English as well.
You truly cannot find a reason to like Yeonjun even if he hasnât done anything directly to you. Heâs just so pompous and full of himself. When the members told you that he loves bragging about being ranked top in every category, they werenât exaggerating. If anything, they werenât exaggerating enough. With each passing day, Yeonjun starts hanging out less and less with the members unless itâs necessary, such as the private lessons with the five of them or when theyâre filming for future projects. Perhaps itâs also the façade that he puts out a lot that you also donât like. If you really are going to become their manager, you canât picture yourself being close with him at all.
While youâre too busy finding reason to despise Yeonjun, you catch a glimpse of something. His hands are shaking a lot, but he tries to hide it by putting his hands behind his back.
==========
âYou guys look so cute!!â You clasp your hands together.
The boys walk out of their dressing room in matching pink sailor outfits. Your jaw drops at how absolutely adorable they look in themâlike anime characters coming to life. When their appearance on the show goes on air, their fans will definitely go insane.
âHuening Kai and Taehyun are the cutest.â
Huening Kaiâs cheeks turn pink from your compliment while Taehyun looks indifferent. You turn to Soobin and Beomgyu, and they fit into the cute concept as well.
âIâd prefer something that shows off my more adult sideâŠâ Soobin puffs his cheeks while nodding his head.
The way he sulks only amplifies his cuteness. The outfits complement their physical appearance except for their overarching height. But after doing a head count, you notice that thereâs somebody missing. You look around, and the eldest is nowhere to be found.
âWhereâs Yeonjun?â
âI think heâs still in the dressing room.â
âIâm gonna go get him.â
 You walk to the dressing room, knocking three times. âYeonjun? You in there?â
âYea.â
âYou almost done? You guys have to go on in a few minutes.â
âY-yea, just give me a second.â
Yeonjun twists the doorknob, opening it and peeking his head out. You cross your arms, waiting for him to completely walk out, but heâs too embarrassed to show himself.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âI look dumb.â
You scoff. âIâm sure you look fine.â
âNoâŠâ
âCome on, itâs not as bad as you think it is. Besides, the other boys are wearing it too, so youâre not alone.â
âItâs justâŠâ
âYouâre fine!â
Feeling impatient, you pull him out of the room. Just as you thought, heâs wearing the sailor uniform like the rest of them. He tries to stand in a masculine pose, slouching his back slightly and putting his hands in his pocket. You can tell he feels humiliated to be in this outfit.
âSee? You look cute.â
âThatâs the problem. Just because weâre young doesnât mean that we have to dress like kids. Iâm twenty-one for crying out loud.â
âTwenty-one and rocking that look. Come on, even if it looks childish, you can still make it look cool,â you check the time on your phone. âOh, theyâre waiting for us. Letâs go.â
Just as you were about to walk away, you look back to find Yeonjun not moving from his spot. Heâs still sulking about the clothes. This is bothering him more than you thought, and you wish you can do something about it, but with the limited time that they have, you canât change the stylistâs mind.
âYeonjun?â
ââŠI want to wear suits like BTS-sunbaenim.â
You freeze, everything around you falling silent. You try thinking of anything to make him feel better, but with every direction you go, it doesnât form proper sentences. You can think of the usual âdonât think too much about itâ or âyou look great in the outfitâ, but theyâre shallow assurance, and it wonât make him feel any better.
âYou guys are on in five minutes!â A staff member shouts from the room.
âOkay!â You let the staff know before turning back to Yeonjun. âLetâs go.â
Thatâs all you could say, and it made you seem disingenuous. If only there was a way to make him feel better, but with being a new manager, it also comes with many trial and errors, including some major and minor mistakes. You sort of feel pathetic for not thinking of any clever quotes to cheer him up.
==========
You stand on the other side of the cameras as the five boys speak to the hosts, a man and a woman. Theyâre dressed in a ridiculous amount of pink, and the entire room itself is fluttered with pink too. Despite the pinkness, the other side is contrasted with silent darkness, sound producers, scriptwriters, and cameramen being blanketed with the damp blackness of the studio while the members and two hosts are riddled with twenty shades of pink.
Since theyâre still new to the showbiz world, theyâre as stiff as usual, but unlike their debut, theyâve loosened up a bit more. Theyâre moving around and smiling more, which is a huge step forward. However, despite their more natural side are shown in a better light, Yeonjun is rigid. His hands are behind his back, not moving an inch. And that smile that you know is forced.
âWeâre really happy to have K-popâs next big boy group be on the show!â The male host shouts with an exaggerated enthusiasm. âTomorrow by Together is known as the monster rookie group, already hitting records and completing their first US tour.â
The five boys clap, cheering sarcastically.
âDespite being so young, theyâre pretty tall. On average, their height is 181.3 cm, which is an amazing record on its own. None of you guys have a fixed position either, both in talents and looks!â The female host chimes in.
Everything seems to be going well so far. This show is known for portraying each individual membersâ special talents, so this is a great opportunity for the boys to stand out on their own.
âLetâs introduce each member from right to left. Taehyun.â
âYes.â
As usual, Taehyun is excellent in professional settings. Despite his young age, he knows how to think and act on the spot, improvising and thinking of the right words to say. His timing is never off, and he can read the atmosphere without a problem. It makes the audience, even you, forget that heâs a teenager.
The hosts go through each member, showing off more of their personalities. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Huening Kai. Unlike Taehyun who remains calm yet makes witty comments, Huening Kai is less prepared, but he balances that out with his bubbly personality. He laughs to lighten the mood, knowing how to recover from an embarrassing mistake and turning it into a joke.
Although upon first impression, Beomgyu seemed like the kind of guy who doesnât mind the shy and cute concept, heâs a natural when it comes to being charismatic and masculine. He can talk to anybody and make it appear like theyâve been friends for years. He doesnât let the air become awkward and is able to fill it up.
Soobin is the one who makes the most mistakes, his mind often trailing off and messing up his lines. He lets the nervousness take over him, often laughing and hugging the closest member to release some tension. Despite the many mistakes, he repeats himself until he perfects it. His cycle of making and fixing his slip-ups makes the hosts find it endearing.
Last person is Yeonjun. When the hosts lay their eyes on him, he nods and forces a smile.
âNowâŠlast but not least, Choi Yeonjun: born on September 13th, the oldest member, been the trainee the longest and is ranked number one on all three categories, vocals, rap, and dance. Wow, thatâs a lot for one person.â
âYes.â He answers.
âEven though I think youâre all very handsome men, I think you should also be ranked number one in terms of visual too.â
âAhâŠâ he laughs nervously. âThank you.â
âI mean, you deserve that title! You have a lot of resemblance with your BTS senior, V-ssi.â
And with that, the light in his eyes disappears.
âYou have the hair color, the eyes, and the striking visuals in general. I think you two are even the same height.â
âAh ha haâŠyes.â
Huening Kai is the first to sense Yeonjunâs discomfort, so he steps in to make a comment. âYeonjun-hyung was always the first trainee to introduce himself. He would take us to the whiteboard with the rankings and ask who was number one in each category. We were all shocked when he said that it was him.â
âOh, really? Okay, letâs give Yeonjun a chance to show off his skills, starting off with dance.â
Yeonjun steps forward, and to your side, the producers choose a song to put on. Unsurprisingly, they put on a BTS song, Dope. Within seconds, Yeonjun got the gist of the beat and dances to the song accordingly. He doesnât make a single mistake despite the lack of practice, which is remarkable on its own.
They then put on the next song, which happens to be Boy in Luv. Unlike the fast-pace dancing, it switches to a slower tempo, but he has to show more of his aggressive side. And just like that, heâs got the choreography memorized as well. Once again, they switch the song, butâŠitâs another BTS song, Fake Love.
This wasnât a part of the script. They were supposed to play other pop songs and some American music to give him the chance to freestyle. With this last-minute change, Yeonjun falters, only knowing the basics to the Fake Love choreography, but not grasping onto the details that well.
The female host signals the music to stop. âHow do you mess up one of their recent songs? Fake Love is played everywhere. You two are in the same company and got more chances to see them practice. You should know their songs to heart.â
Although that was supposed to be a joke, Yeonjun took it personally. You can see that her words have pierced through his chest. You donât like how sheâs putting him on the spot with unrealistic expectations.
âOkay,â the male host interrupts. âLetâs try again but with a different song.â
He waves his hand down, cueing for the next song to play. Yeonjun shakes his hands and spreads his legs out shoulder length, determined to get this one right. The producer plays the song, and itâs Boy with Luv.
Yeonjun freezes. He hasnât learned this dance because this song came out during the most hectic training period. They were practicing to their songs nonstop as well as performing on stages.
The female host makes it very apparent that sheâs disappointed. âStop, stop, stop. Itâs okay, even if you donât know your seniorsâ songs that well, you should at least know this one. Itâs simple to learn and itâs their latest song.â
Itâs agonizing to watch this host tear Yeonjun down. Thereâs clearly some bias here, and sheâs going at him more than the other members. It might be because heâs been the trainee the longest or because of his title as the âmonster traineeâ to increase her expectations on him, this is still borderline harassment. Thankfully, the other members are seeing this as well, so they look at each other, almost like using telepathy to back up their eldest member.
Soobin raises his hand. âTaehyun and Beomgyu have memorized the dance.â
âOh really?â
âThatâs right,â Beomgyu steps forward. âIâve been a hardcore fan of BTS even before I became a trainee. Iâve studied every single thing, including the timing of their facial expressions.â
âI also enjoy listening to Jungkook-sunbaenimâs English covers. I know all his cover songs by heart.â Taehyun enters the conversations calmly.
This is off-script, but itâs a relief that you can rely on the members to help each other out of a pinch. You nonverbally sigh, but your troubles havenât left you. It was the members who had to help, and you couldnât do anything. Not only that, but the deed has already been done. To see the sunken spirit in Yeonjunâs eyes, it hurts. You wish you can reach your hand out to tell him that everythingâs alright, you canât just interrupt recording. All you can do is watch from afar.
==========
In the hallway, Yeonjun is just walking out of the restroom after changing back into his street clothes. Opposite to the cute sailor outfits, heâs wearing a leather jacket and blue jeans, with tan boots that completes it all. Even though you liked both outfits that he was wearing today, nothing beats Yeonjun dressed in the clothes that heâs more confident in.
Standing outside of the menâs restroom is you. Heâs caught off-guard to see you waiting. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI just felt like it.â
âWhere are the other guys?â
âTheyâre still changing. Why didnât you tell me that you went to the restroom?â
âIt was just a quick whizz.â
âYou should still tell me.â
He walks back to the room and you follow him from behind. âYouâre not my mom.â
âBut Iâm technically your mom!â
âThatâsâŠletâs not get there. Arenât you our age?â
âI dunno, am I?â
With this conversation going nowhere, he stops. Even though he sounds a bit harsh, you know that he doesnât mean to. Todayâs show recording was definitely unfair, so itâs not a surprise to see Yeonjun down in the dumps.
âGood job today.â
âThanks, but I donât feel like I did well. Not even average or decent.â
âHey, but you got it over with and thatâs all that matters. Now, onto the next one!â
âYeaâŠâ
Despite your efforts in cheering him up, it doesnât work. Pretending like the issue doesnât exist isnât going to make things better for him.
âWhat that host said, itâs still bothering you, huh?â
He canât hide from you as well. âYou got me. This feeling kinda sucksâŠâ
âI can tell. I donât think she means it though.â
âYouâre siding with her?â
âIâm not. Yea, what she did was really horrible, but everyoneâs caught up in the heat where they want to only talk about your seniors. TV shows are dying for BTS to be on their show, but theyâre too busy touring. Itâs rude, but even for other bands, your sunbaenims are constantly brought up.â
âThatâs trueâŠâ
âBesides, that doesnât matter. Anyway, Iâm gonna drop by the convenient store to buy some snacks. What do you want?â
ââŠCan I go with you?â
âWhat? No, you should be resting! Take every chance to take a nap, relax your muscles, or play some video games! Donât do something as boring as coming with me to the store.â
âItâs not boring to me. Going to the store with you soothes my nerves. No joke.â
Your cheeks turn red when he grins. Itâs been a while since you last saw him smile like that, so you canât say no to him.
==========
Seoul is filled with your stereotypical description of the urban lifestyleâhonking cars, citizens striding through thick crowds of people, and flashing lights at every corner. Since itâs night, the skyscrapers are covered in squares of screens that display an array of advertisements such as drinks, clothes, and latest phone models.
You and Yeonjun are two out of millions going through the city and back to the studio. Despite wearing a mask and beanie to cover his identity, he still stands out like a sore thumb. Girls canât help but glance and admire his towering, lean body.
âAh, I really like times like these when we get to go out and enjoy the city air.â You point your nose to the sky and inhale.
âYou mean the pollution and bacteria traveling into your nostrils?â
You elbow him. âYou didnât have to phrase it like that!â
He laughs.
One thing you like about this is not only breaking away from the busy life in the entertainment business, but being with Yeonjun. Behind the cameras, heâs an ordinary young adult who enjoys the little things, like walking in the city and making jokes. He doesnât have to put up a show or be conscious of how he dresses and correcting his posture. He doesnât have to censor his words and can say whatever he wishes.
You get a text message, and itâs from the group chat. âTaehyun said that Beomgyu is starving to death. Letâs hurry.â
You pick up the pace and so does Yeonjun. You two pass by many small shops that are surviving each day to make ends meet. Some of them are antique shops, record stores, and clothing lines. One of them is a toy store. If you could, you would love to go to them but with very little spare time you have in your hands, itâs too far into the future for you think about it.
You look up at the night sky and notice how particularly cloudy it is. Not only that, but the weather has been getting colder these days.
âGeez, I think itâs gonna rain soon. What do you think, Yeonjun?â
No response.
âYeonjun?â
You turn around and find Yeonjun standing in front of the toy store. Heâs staring down at a table thatâs filled with a mix of toys. You tilt your head, curious about what caught his eye.
âIs there something you want?â
He remains quiet.
You look down, thereâs one particular toy that stands out to you, which could explain why he stopped. You pick up a box with a doll of the BTS member, V, inside. The plastic cover has been battered up, and the dollâs hair is a mess. The limbs are sprawled in directions that a human bones canât replicate. All in all, itâs a pitiful sight to bear, but what makes it even more tragic is that this outdoor table is for toys that are on discount.
âI remember when the dolls were announced, everyone went crazy for it.â Yeonjun comments.
He was still a trainee at that time, but he already knew about it before the public did. You did too, but you didnât think too much about it since nearly everything related to BTS becomes impactful to the world.
âButâŠlook at where it is now. It has its quirks in the beginning, but after a while, this doll will never compare to the real person. Itâs a temporary escape from the reality that youâll never get to be with the real V-sunbaenim.â
The way he words itâŠis so depressing. This is unlike Yeonjun to be spilling poetic lines. You stare at the doll, and the doll glares back at you. You wonder what the dollâs journey was like, from factory to this clearance table.
âItâs just a doll. Iâm sure itâll find an owner,â you assure him. âLetâs hurry back before they get upset.â
He turns to you as if you offended him, not the doll. But he looks away with a troubled look, ultimately plastering a nonconsensual smile. You know you said something wrong, but you donât know what it is.
âManagerâŠâ Yeonjun calls out.
âYea?â
ââŠIâmâŠdifferent from V-sunbaenim, right?â
This isnât a hard question, and yet youâre having a hard time answering it. Itâs because if you answer either âyesâ or ânoâ, they both carry heavy context behind them. Itâs plainly obvious how Yeonjun will feel if you say ânoâ, but saying âyesâ would also feel shallow depending on the tone. In this situation, how do you answer?
ââŠYouâre fine just the way you are.â You say it with a tone as plain as cardboard.
You canât decipher his expression, and it worries you more. Itâs like you nailed the coffin perfectly and just made his mood worse.
Without putting much thought into it, you take him by his hand, holding it tightly. Heâs confused, but you muster a smile. âCome on, stay close so that we donât separate. Youâre the one carrying Soobinâs snacks. Heâll cry if we lose it.â
You drag him along with you. As you walk forward with him in hand, you make quick glances behind to check on him. His sullen expression still remains, and it makes you all the more conflicted. You donât know exactly whatâs going on in his head, but youâre too afraid to ask, thinking that he might just brush off your worries as meaningless thinking.
==========
âKai, donât cry.â Soobin pats him on the back.
Occupying a private dance room in Los Angeles, Huening Kai is sitting in a fetal position, wiping his eyes with his hands. Soobin and Taehyun are on their knees, one person on each side. You sit in front of him, thinking of ways to encourage him.
âYouâre overreacting. You did everything fine.â Taehyun adds on.
âI canât dance. Iâm really bad at it.â He mutters to himself.
âHave some water and letâs be chirpy again!â Beomgyu kneels down and passes him a bottle of water, but he doesnât accept it.
âI shouldnât have tried to become an idol. I donât like, I hate this. I donât want to do this anymore.â
âHuening Kai, donât say that,â You put your hands over his. âYouâre doing great.â
But it doesnât seem like your message has crossed over. Itâs understandable that Huening Kai gets into moods like this, especially being under immense pressure despite only living fifteen years of his life. To be so young yet feel defeated makes your eyes water.
Standing on the other side of the room is Yeonjun, still rehearsing. Youâre a little annoyed that he more interested in himself than Huening Kai. You give him dagger eyes, waiting for him to do something, but nothing happens.
âYeonjun, canât you at least take your eyes off of yourself for a second?â You pout.
âManager, donâtâŠ! Itâs okay!â Huening Kai begs.
He finally turns to your direction, staring back at you as you glare. He scratches the back of his head, approaching Huening Kai until he crouches in front of him.
âIf this is too much for you, then why donât you just quit?â
Huening Kai gasps, and so does the rest of you. You have the urge to smack him across the face, wondering how he could ask that question when Kai is already at his lowest.
âI donât want toâŠâ
âWhy? Youâre the one who keeps complaining about how hard it is.â
Huening Kai looks conflicted, like his words are biting back at him.
âYeonjun, donâtââ
But Soobin stops you by putting his hand on your shoulder. While you donât know whatâs going on, it seems like the rest of the boys do.
âI donât want to quit.â
Yeonjunâs serious expression then switches that of an upbeat grin. He pats him on the back, pulling him for a neck hug.
âYou say that you want to quit, but deep down, you want to keep going. The moment negative thoughts start passing through your head, shut them out immediately and start finding compliments for yourself.â
âButâŠthatâs a bit self-servingâŠâ
He shakes his head. âConceited people compliment themselves as a means of building a wall to avoid their ego from being hurt. Confident people are so confident in themselves that they want others to succeed too. Come on, letâs keep practicing. Show me what you need help with and Iâll do my best to help.â
âMe too!â Soobin raises his hand.
âIâll take part too.â Taehyun adds.
âHey! Donât leave me out either!â Beomgyu shouts.
These boys will never stop amazing you, but it also makes you feel bad. You feel like you didnât do anything, and Yeonjun, once again, knows what to say and do. It makes you feel insecureâlike youâre not cut out for the job. Once again, itâs Yeonjun overpowering someoneâs abilities.
And despite disliking it, you canât help but see Yeonjun in a more positive light. You thought that he didnât care about the other members, but it doesnât seem like the case all the time.
==========
Youâre in the van with the rest of the boys and the driver. This time, theyâre dressed in more formal attire, wearing suits. Youâre glad that Yeonjun is a little more confident in himself now that heâs wearing what he wanted, but thereâs still that lingering sense of gloom that floats around him.
The driver is playing songs on the radio while the boys are busy playing on their phones. Many overplayed songs play on the radio, some that you are still in love with and others where youâre getting sick of.
BTSâs song plays, and already, you can sense Yeonjun feeling uncomfortable. His raises his shoulders, scratching his head more than usual. You can see his distraught being played in the rear-view mirror.
âExcuse me, can you turn off the radio?â
âOh yea, sure.â He turns it off.
You look back in the mirror, and heâs look like heâs fine, though a little disturbed. He clears his throat, looking at the reflection in his mirror and fixing his hair. Every time the driver hits a bump, Yeonjun would look at his phoneâs cameraâs portrait mode to fix his hair.
 Drawing near the red carpet, the boys get ready to prepare for their walk. They can already hear hundreds of screams, and it only gets louder as they get closer. They check themselves one last time, making sure that every detail is perfect. Through the windows, there are fans screaming and waving at them.
âAlright, good luck, guys! Go make the crowd go wild!â You cheer them on.
They cheer back right as the car parks. In an instant, they shut their mouths, preparing for flashing lights from cameras and the nonsensical screams. They come out one by one, and you wait until theyâve walked enough so that you can enter. You donât like being in the spotlight, so you rather distance yourself from situations such as these.
Just as planned, the boys stride through the red carpet professionally, waving and throwing finger hearts at fans. Once the crowd turn their heads away from your direction, you speed out of the car, wearing your face mask and parka to hide your identity. You speed to the backdrop where the five boys stand and pose for the hosts of the red carpet.
Behind the photo scene, you watch from behind as a barrage of camera flashes blind your vision. You can barely make shape of the membersâ bodies. Judging how the situation is going, they seem to be handling it well. This isnât the first time they were in front of this many cameras on a carpet walkway, so itâs not surprising that theyâre doing well on their own.
âAs BTSâs juniors, theyâre doing amazing by breaking records of their own and standing out internationally, as well as in Korea. Coming back to the spotlight after two delays of their comeback, they returned with their first full-length album The Dream Chapter: Magic. Itâs extremely rare that a rookie group is able to release a full album so soon, so they have a lot to show their fans. And speaking of fans, please pose for them, Tomorrow by Together!â The male host announces.
And doing what theyâre told, they immediately start posing, raising their hands up to make hearts. They tilt their heads, some of them smiling and others, like Beomgyu and Yeonjun, making serious expressions. Fans are cheering for them, jumping and waving their hands at them but also hiding their faces behind cameras larger than their heads. They even have built-in lenses that are so large that it makes the cameras look like telescopes.
âIs there anything you would like to tell your fans?â The male host passes the microphone to Yeonjun.
He takes it, waving before taking a second to think about what he wants to say. âFirst of all, thank you to the MOAs who have been supporting us with our newest title track, 9 and Three Quarters. We worked very hard and put all our passion into each song in the album, so we would really appreciate it if every one of you also supââ
Suddenly, someone throws an egg at Yeonjun, aimed perfectly at his head. The shell cracks into a million pieces, the raw components splattering all over his face. While the crowd gasps in horror, Yeonjun is in complete shock. During their years of training to deal with not only being exposed to passionate fans but also hate groups.
Among the crowd is a woman wearing sunglasses, a face mask, and a black beanie. Sheâs wearing all in black and is holding a carton of eggs in her arms.
âYOUâRE A PARASITE TO BTS. YOU LEECH OFF OF THEM TO MAKE EFFORTLESS CASH. THEY WORKED SO HARD ONLY FOR YOU TO TAKE IT AWAY. YOU DIDNâT DESERVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD. YOUâRE ALL FUCKING SCUM AND DESERVE TO DIE IN A SHITHOLE.â
She grabs more eggs to throw at Yeonjun. Bodyguards are sprinting toward her, but with so many people in the way, itâs taking longer to get to her. The staff from behind the backdrop, including you, are rushing onto the scene to grab the boys. But Yeonjun is furthest away from the exit, and the host next to him has ran off. In a state of panic, the staff and guards can only think about saving the idols who are closest to them, but no one is running to Yeonjun.
Heâs frozen in shock, still processing what just happened as the egg whites drip from his hair. Even though everything is moving fast, itâs like time has slowed down, giving you milliseconds to think about your next moves. But some of her eggs fail to reach Yeonjun like the first attempt. With the guards tailing in on her, she dashes toward him, grabbing a fanâs large, expensive camera, lunging it back and readying it to hit Yeonjun with it.
Then thatâs when Yeonjunâs bright, loving smile flashes through your mind. You thought about all the times youâve spent with him laughing, playing games, and eating junk food with him. He used to be so happy, and it made your chest warm when you saw him in love with being an idol.
SoâŠwhen did it start falling apart?
And the last frame in your mind was the first time youâve ever seen him cry. All alone and on the ground, begging for his stress to go away. He repeats over and over that he wants to give upâthe same trainee that was ranked number one, the same guy who everyone dismisses his five years of brutal training as âhis seniorsâ privileged little brotherâ, the same boy who you disliked because you made an assumption about him before you got to know him.
The next thing you know, youâre standing in between Yeonjun and the camera that the woman has thrown. In that brief moment, you and Yeonjun make eye contact. He looks so scared, like a child whoâs been traumatized. But you donât want him to keep making that face, so in the midst of the chaos, you smile, letting him know that everything will be alright.
Then your vision turns black.
==========
You clasp onto the door frame, your mouth hanging open. You thought you heard Yeonjun wrong. This is the same guy who you thought that heâs full of himself. But to see him on the ground, crying his eyes out, it was like reality hitting you really hard that trainee life can take a toll even on the most gifted of trainees, even Yeonjun.
âWhat did you say?â Unbeknownst to you, there was another person in the room. Itâs their main choreography coach. âYouâre quitting? Youâre more pathetic than I thought.â
His coach crouches, knocking on Yeonjunâs head harshly.
âYouâre so full of yourself that youâve forgotten how much youâre a fucking sore eye to watch when you dance. Your feet and back is hurting? Bullshit. Those are excuses that quitters make. You think you can keep being number one with that mindset?â
How have youâve never seen this up until now? How can this crude man be considered a coach?
âIâm sorry, I wonât say it again.â Yeonjun mutters as he sniffs, but he hasnât stopped crying.
âMight as well make Taehyun number one. Heâs doing great and he doesnât whine like you. And heâs pretty young, too. Heâll top you in no time, and youâll be last because youâre incompetent.â
Even bringing up the other members makes you sick. Thereâs something twisted about how he puts down Yeonjunâs spirit by comparing him to the other boys. While competition is great, this is just outright creating unnecessary rivalry. It now makes sense why Yeonjun distanced himself from the other boys; it was the work of this man. He made him fear his own teammates.
âSitting around and shitting yourself isnât going to make you a better dancer. Get the fuck up and keep practicing.â
But Yeonjun is hesitant to get up which irritates the coach.
âWhat are you still doing? Get. Up.â
âButâŠsirâŠitâs almost lunch time. The other members are back in the roomâŠand theyâre waiting for me.â
âDo I hear a goddamn wimp talking again?â
He immediately shakes his head. âNo.â
âThen get up and stop crying. Iâll let you eat when youâve finished thinking about what you did wrong. BesidesâŠâ he pinches Yeonjunâs cheeks. âNo girl wants a guy who has fat on their face.â
He swipes Yeonjunâs face away, getting up and stomping out of the room. In the brink of time, you were able to hide behind the door while he walks out. He does what heâs told and gets up, and you cover your mouth when you realize the horror thatâs been going on behind the scenes.
You canât just hide. You want to talk to him, you want to know if heâs okay. If this is how their coach treats Yeonjun, you canât imagine what he does to the other members.
You peek your head into the room, seeing as heâs already returns to dancing. Heâs rubbing his feet and back like itâs in pain. You never noticed this before, but he has a lot of scars and burises on his arms and legs, most likely from excessive practicing. Some are old, some are new. Heâs always worn long sleeves during practice and filming, at least long enough to hide them.
However, youâve been staring for too long that you catch Yeonjunâs attention. You both are startled, but Yeonjun immediately wipes his eyes to hide his wet eyes.
âWh-what are you doing here? I thought you were with the rest.â
You shake your head. âI came here to let you know that weâre going to get lunch.â
âItâs okay, Iâm not hungry.â
You curl your lips inward, trying to fight the urge to cry. You donât want to make it seem like you eavesdropped, but itâs too late.
âYouâŠheard everything, didnât you?â
You donât reply.
âAhâŠso embarrassingâŠâ
âIâmâŠsorry.â You murmur.
âWhat?â
âI didnât know.â
You step forward, falling into Yeonjunâs arms. Heâs confused, trying to push you away, but you wonât let him.
âWhat are you sorry for?â
Youâre not sorry for listening to their conversation. Youâre sorry for making the wrong assumption about him. Because of that, you deemed him as the villain who only wants to win for himself. You feel immensely guilty for pushing him aside without putting much thought. But now looking back, you were wrong for making up thoughts based on how he acted and look.
âIâll do everything in my power to make sure that that coach is fired.â
âWh-whatâŠ? You donât have to.â
âNo! I have to! I donât want you to debut with that way of thinking! Youâre better than what he makes you to be.â
Heâs at a loss of words. Heâs hesitant about putting his arms around you, but he ultimately does it. His hands are shaking so much, and you arenât sure if itâs because of malnourishment from extreme dieting or if heâs scared.
âIâm okayâŠreallyâŠâ Yeonjun chuckles as he fails to fight back his tears. âIâm okayâŠIâm fine. Iâm fineâŠIâmâŠokayâŠIâmâŠnotâŠâ
He starts crying louder and louder, though not too loud so the coach can hear. He lowers his back, though slowly because his spine is in excruciating pain from so much dancing. He buries his face into your shoulder, sobbing. He clutches onto the back of your shirt, not wanting to let go of this warmth. You can tell by how awkward he wraps his arms around you that he doesnât hug that often.
Those years of pressure to keep up with his reputation is catching up to him. Everyone may think heâs a super trainee who will undoubtedly succeed, but at the end of the day, heâs still a trainee. You may never fully know what he exactly endured, but imagine five years, 1,825 days, that he had to suffer thinking that heâll never debut. His naĂŻve dreams of inspiring others with his performances slowly diminishing as time went by, fleeting into dust when he realizes that he may never debut.
Thatâs why heâs so conceitedâhiding away his anxiety and fears of never being able to show the world those five years of torturous training. He built himself up so high because he wanted to believe that heâll make it, and he wanted to convince others of that too because he never truly did. In the darkness, he was scared that the scars he received, the mental beatings, and the physical pains were for nothing. After all, a narcissistic person tries to hide his flaws rather than having enough confidence to help others.
He was so deep in his vicious thoughts that he forgot what it was like to be comforted. Thatâs probably why heâs holding onto you so tightly, because heâs afraid that he wonât have another chance to feel this vulnerable. What started as a rocky relationship, he became your harsh reality of the music industry, but you have become his therapy.
But this escape-therapy can only go so far.
==========
You regain consciousness, and the first thing you see is a white ceiling. You hear a monitor beating to your side. You turn your head, seeing the four boys sitting next to you. Theyâre all frozen, like they canât believe that youâre awake.
âMANAGER!! IâŠ! YouâŠ! Alive!!â Soobin bursts into tears.
He throws himself onto you, losing your breath because of his heavy weight pressing against your chest. Your heart rate increases on the motor, so Huening Kai immediately pulls him off of you.
âAre you trying to kill her?!â
âIâmâŠIâmâŠIâmâŠjust so happy!â Heâs like a broken faucet that canât stop crying.
Beomgyu and Taehyun are also crying, though Taehyun tries to hide it with his hand. It doesnât help when you can see his tears landing on his lap.
âHow are you feeling?!â Beomgyu asks.
âIâmâŠso sleepyâŠWhere am I?â You try getting up.
But Huening Kai pushes your shoulders back down. âDonât get up! You need all the rest you can get.â
After wiping the tears away, Taehyun clears his throat. âA criminal threw a camera at Yeonjun-hyung, but you managed to get in between, but you ended up getting hurt and got an injury to the head.â
âCalling her a criminal is a bit too muchâŠâ Huening Kai states.
âToo much or not, she still committed a crime because she had intent on harming us, especially our hyung. If we werenât in public, then I wouldâve done anything to stop her. But my ideas wouldâve sent me to prison.â
âWhat?â
âNothing.â
âIDIOT!!!â Beomgyu shouts suddenly.
His loud voice startles you, creating a spike in your heartbeat monitor. Youâre jokingly beginning to think that them being in the room with you is going to do more harm to your body.
âWhy did you try to tried acting like a hero?! During times like that, you have to save yourself!!â He keeps on crying and let his nose run.
Honestly, you donât know either. Your feet moved on its own, and your only goal was to ensure Yeonjunâs safety. And speaking of Yeonjun, heâs nowhere to be found.
âWhereâs Yeonjun?â
âYeonjun-hyungâŠheâŠâ Huening Kai pauses.
âHyung is back at the dorms. Because of the assault, we had to temporarily pause activity in the meantime. We were also checked and weâre fine.â
âBut HyungâŠâ Beomgyu trails off.
Your heart drops, fearing for the worse.
âHeââ
âHe was just a little startled,â Taehyun continues. âHeâs taking a break in the dorms right now.â
You sigh in relief. The anticipation was really killing you. It makes sense that heâs still a little shaken up because the threat was aimed toward him, after all. But despite the assurance, you canât help but worry.
âIs it okay to leave him by himselfâŠ?â You ask.
âWe were just about to leave to check on him. Weâll let the nurses know that you woke up and weâll be on our way. Weâll text you if something comes up.â Taehyun says.
Soobin, whoâs still riddled with tears, places his hands over yours. âManager, please eat a lot. Call us immediately if something happens. Text us through Kakao, but if you absolutely have to, then use our actual phone number. Donât try to do anything on your own and have the nurses assist you. And I know how much you stress out about us, so every morning, afternoon, and evening, Iâm going to remind you not to worry. If it makes you feel better, Iâll leave voicemails about what each of us did for that day too. Here, Iâll set up three alarm clocks to remind myself to text you every day.â
Right as he whips his phone out, you raise your hand up to stop him. âN-no, itâs okay.â
âOkay, weâll be leaving.â Huening Kai winks at you.
âCall me when you guys make it back to the dorms.â
âYes, yes worry-wart.â
==========
âWhy did you lie to her?!â Beomgyu shouts.
âI didnât want to lie, but I thought it was better that way,â Taehyun crosses his arms.
âBut sheâs already concerned for Hyung as it is. Lying wonât make it any better!!â Beomgyuâs loud voice draws attention.
Panicked, Soobin shushes him. âBeomgyu, please! People are staring.â
âYou do realize that if we tell her, then all sheâs ever gonna try and do is sneak out of the hospital and look for him on his own, right? She wonât listen to us if we still that Hyung still comes home every night.â
âButâŠheâs gone all day, and we donât know where he goes. Weâve already tried talking to him, but he wonât listen to us!!â
âI think Taehyunâs right,â Huening Kai raises his hand. âAt least for now, we should at least keep it a secret until sheâs recovered. Itâll just stress her out even more if we tell her now.â
âI agree with the both of them.â Soobin also votes.
Beomgyu looks at the three of them, unable to believe they would continue with this falsity. However, they do have a point. Your stress levels have definitely spiked ever since their comeback, and adding more to that isnât going to make you rest, but freak out more.
âAlâŠalright. But we have to tell her soon!â
âYes, we will,â Taehyun says. âJust. Donât. Tell. Her.â
He warns all of them, but particularly at Beomgyu. Even though Taehyun says that, he has a strong feeling that Beomgyu will give in to the weight.
==========
Thankfully, the injury to your head isnât that serious. For the next two days, you remain in the hospital to double check that you can function properly without any disruptions to your brain.
Unsurprisingly, the attack became international news. Accusations were placed everywhere, with fans blaming the awards ceremony for not having high security. Even though fan outrage is to be expected, getting angry over it canât undo what has already happened. In your opinion, you wish that rather than focusing their attention toward blaming the ceremony, they should be more focused on the wellbeing of the boys. Thankfully, there are fans who worry more about them than award show functionality.
For the last two days, the boys have been taking a short hiatus. They canât even enter the Big Hit building because there are so many journalists crowding at every entrance. To the best of your luck, Big Hit has never publically shared which hospital youâre staying at, so there are no journalists anywhere here. It makes it easier for the members to visit you during their free time.
Just as Soobin promised, heâs been updating you about the boys. They seem to be doing well, even sending you an entire essay about each member in exquisite detail, with the exception of Yeonjun. For him, Soobin would keep it very vague, and it doesnât make matters any better when Yeonjunâs the only person who hasnât visited you. They keep telling you that heâs fine, but you want to see it for yourself.
 âYay! Youâre leaving tomorrow morning!â Beomgyu claps his hands.
Today, itâs only Beomgyu who came. Huening Kai and Taehyun had to stay after school to make up a few tests that they missed, and Soobin had already visited you in the morning. Beomgyu is still in his school uniform and he brought some candy for you snack on.
âYea, I feel like I was going insane being cooped up in this room all day. I guess itâs true that when you see the color white all the time, it makes you go crazy.â You laugh.
âBut just because you leave the hospital doesnât mean that you should go back to your usual routine. Take things slowly. I can play as the manager while you heal!â Beomgyu points to himself with his thumb.
âUhâŠitâs okay. If youâre the manager, then the group is going to be in shambles within weeks,â you elbow him. âIâm just kidding. Thanks for volunteering to do that though. Thatâs mature of you to take responsibility.â
âAnything for you.â Beomgyu holds your hand and sways it up and down as he giggles.
He lets go of your hand then looks out the window, exhaling carbon. The skies are covered with gray clouds.
âAhâŠI hope the sky becomes happier when you leave. I want the entire world to be happy when you get out!â
You chuckle. âThatâs so adorable. Thank you.â
âBut I do hope that this bad weather makes the news reporters just leave was alone. Theyâve been camping out in front of the building.â
âOh yea, on the same topic as that, no oneâs been harassing you guys about the whole ordeal, right?â
He shakes his head. âThese big scary guards have been protecting us, so weâve been protected very well.â
âAnd howâs Yeonjun?â
Beomgyu freezes. You wait for him to reply, but when he takes longer than he should, thatâs when you realize that somethingâs going on.
ââŠHe is doing fineâŠright?â
âYeâŠyeaâŠ! He is! Heâs terrific, fine, excellent, phenomenal, exuberant!â
But you arenât convinced. âBeomgyu, donât lie to me.â
âI-Iâm not lying!â He laughs nervously. âWhy would I lie to you?â
âPlease, tell me the truth.â
With your serious yet calmly desperate tone, he canât hide it anymore. After a few days of keeping it a secret, he has to tell you. âHyung has been going out a lot. We donât know where he goes, but when we ask, he wonât tell us. When he does come home, he goes straight to bed and sleeps until he gets up and repeats.â
âWhat? Are you telling me that he goes by himself with no guards?â
âW-wellâŠâ
âIs he out right now?â
âI donât knowâŠI think so?â
You throw the blanket off of yourself, moving your legs off of the bed before Beomgyu places his hands on your shoulders to prevent you from getting out. âWhat are you doing??â
âIâm gonna go look check on him.â
âAre you nuts?! You havenât been discharged yet, and youâre leaving?!â
âYes, so let me go.â
âI canât! AghâŠI knew I shouldnât have said anything. Manager, please donât try and go. Weâre all worried as it is.â
âWhat?â
âTaehyun told me that we should keep it a secret from you because we want you to rest. Weâre already troubled having to find Yeonjun-hyung, and weâll just get even more worried if you push your body.â
You paid so much attention on Yeonjun that you pushed the other boys aside. The pained expression on Beomgyuâs face says it allâthe situation that both you and Yeonjun are in is taking a toll on them too. They may act like it isnât bothering them when it clearly is; theyâre trying their best to do what they can.
You put your legs back under the blanket begrudgingly. âOkayâŠIâm sorry, Beomgyu.â
He sighs in relief, glad that Taehyun wonât have to get upset. âIs there anything I can do for you? I have to go back to the dorms after.â
âNo, Iâm good. You can go now. Thanks for stopping by and giving me candy. I donât think I can last another meal with hospital food.â You laugh.
Although youâre trying to lighten the mood, Beomgyu can sense that youâre still troubled. He pretends like he didnât notice and forces an obvious fake laugh.
âOâŠokay. Please text us if you need anything. Iâll be going now.â
Beomgyu leaves and closes the door. Now alone, you think about what to do. Sneaking out of the hospital isnât going to make things better, even though you really want to. For now, you can only wait until youâre discharged from the hospital.
OrâŠthatâs what they want you to think. Your instincts tell you that if you donât do something right now, then youâre going to regret it.
==========
âWHAT?!â
Soobin shushes Beomgyu.
âMi-mi-mi-missing?! What are we gonna do?! Does Taehyun and Huening Kai know about this?? A-and, Manager, sheââ
âSeriously, calm down, Beomgyu! They donât know about it. I think itâs better not to tell them until they come back. As for ManagerâŠI donât know.â
âWe have to let her know!â Beomgyu takes his phone out. âI literally told her that heâs fine!â
âW-wait, letâs think about it first.â
âThatâs what weâve been doing! We kept thinking about it that it drove Yeonjun to go missing!!â
As the leader, Soobin is trying to remain calm, but inside, he doesnât know what to do either. He feels awful that he kept this hidden from you. However, making you panic isnât going to make things better either.
He thought about calling the police, but with the media already on their tails, he doesnât want to cause more trouble and create an even bigger scene.
âIâm going to tell Manager.â Beomgyu dials your phone number.
âBeomgyuââ
âWhat?! Are you going to tell me to keep it on the down low again?! Sorry, Hyung, but I canât. I donât want to keep hiding from each other anymore. I donât want to disappoint her again.â
Soobin is hesitant, but Beomgyu is right. ââŠOkay, you call her and Iâll let the younger two know,â he looks out the window, seeing as it started raining. âI just hope Hyung is safeâŠâ
Beomgyu lets his phone ring for a while. After five rings, thatâs when he knew that thereâs something going on with you. Whenever itâs one of the boys whoâs calling, you would pick up immediately unless there was an emergency. And since youâre not picking up your phoneâŠ
âH-HyungâŠsheâs not picking up. Wh-what should we do?!â
==========
You donât know how, but you miraculously escaped the hospital. Thankfully, the members left some of your sweaters for you in case you got cold, so you were able to hide your patient uniform and leave without anybody noticing. Your hospital bed doesnât have an alarm, so you were able to get up without having to alert the nurses.
But what you didnât have was an umbrella. Within seconds in the rain, youâre soaked. And even though you set out in search of Yeonjun, you donât know where to start. You left your phone in the hospital, so thereâs no way you get contact himâthat is if he doesnât ignore your calls or messages.
With the day drawing towards its end, the skies grow darker with the clouds raining heavier. Less people are on the streets, only drunkards waddling back to their homes and college students coming back from restaurants.
You run around the city, passing through citizens who may look like him but to your dismay, he isnât any of them. From head to toe, youâre drenched. Even your slippers are too wet to keep your feet dry. With each footstep, the pressure put onto the slipper squeezes some water out, only for it to soak up more.
You want to call his name, but youâre afraid that by doing so, itâll call attention. While he may have dyed his hair blue, he is most likely hiding it to avoid being recognized. Everything is playing against you, and it makes you agonize in your lonesome worriesâthat youâll probably wonât be able to find him.
It pains you to think about all this mightâve been avoidable. Maybe if you didnât push aside his problems, then this wouldnât have happened. Of course, the attack at the red carpet was unforeseeable, but perhaps the smallest of decisions before that mightâve changed some decisions.
And looking back in the past, to trace your steps to the places youâve been with him. It might be pointless, but itâs the best you can do. Standing at the dead center of the sidewalk, you scour through your memories, from the convenience store to the variety shows. Of all places, there was one place that stood out to you. It mightâve have very little significance at the time, but after putting everything together, it oddly makes sense. With a destination in mind, you run.
==========
At the toy store, itâs long since been closed for the day, but just as you thought, Yeonjun is there. Youâre overwhelmed with an array of emotions, relieved that heâs okay but also concerned to see him just as wet as you. Heâs crouching next to a trash bin next to the store like heâs inspecting something.
âYeonâŠ!â You stop yourself before calling his name.
But he heard you clearly. He can recognize your voice from a mile away, but he doesnât react whatsoever. Itâs only when you stand behind him when he turns around. Even though itâs the same person, his eyes have bags underneath. His hair is a mess, matted to his forehead from the rain. His nose, cheeks, and ears are red, but is skin and lips have lost color. When you trace your eyes down to his hands, heâs holding something.
You snap out of your trance, shaking your head then crouching to his level. âWhat are you doing here?!â
ââŠ(Y/N)?â He mutters a small chuckle. âAhâŠIâm hallucinating now. You should be in the hospital.â
Cradled in his hands is the V doll that you two saw days ago. Itâs out of its box now, but it has black dirt all over its clothes and face. It has lost some of its plastic hair, revealing a few bald spots with holes.
âWh-why do you have that? Come on, letâs go.â
You try helping him up, but he refuses to move. He even shoves your hands off of him.
âHey, (Y/N). Guess what I just found out?â Yeonjun smiles, though the ends of his lips twitch. âFor the past few days, I came here to make sure that someone would buy this poor doll and give it affection. I didnât want to buy it because I wanted someone else to prove that a doll like this can be loved. Every, single, day, people would pass by this doll and arenât willing to end its loneliness. And you know what? Just a few hours ago, the owner of the store was clearing out his clearance toys and threw them out, and this doll was one of them.â
Heâs talking like a mad man. But his grin slowly twists into a sour expression as he bites his bottom lip.
âIt fell out of its box and got dirty. It became nothing more than another piece of trash. And it made me open my eyes: the reason why this doll canât be loved is because itâs just an imitation of the real V-sunbaenim! There are millions of V copycats, just like this doll, and none of them will ever match his level of superiority. People fall in love with the real V-sunbaenim, not this, so itâs obvious that they want the real one,â he squeezes the doll so tight that the limbs begin to misshapen. âThe fake one is just temporary. The fakes are always the ones who are left behindâŠâ
Thatâs when it hits you; Yeonjun isnât talking about the millions of factory-made dolls of Taehyung, or any of the other BTS members in that regards.
But himself.
âEver since our debut, I kept having demented thoughtsâŠI supported my seniors, but deep downâŠI wanted them to fail. I wanted them see them crash and burn becauseâŠthe more successful they became, the more pressure that came upon us. And I hate myself for being selfish! ButâŠIâm more scared of disappointing the peopleâŠour fansâŠthat I canât live up to their expectations.â
Youâre so shocked that you canât say anything. All this bottled up emotions has been eating him up, and itâs scaring you.
âIf we tried our best, we got hated because they think weâre trying to top our seniors, but if we didnât live up to their expectations, then we were accused of being privileged and lazy.â
His eyes are turning swollen, and he canât stop crying. He covers his eyes the palm of his hands, wailing in pain.
âI didnât become a performer only to continue someone elseâs dreams! (Y/N)âŠI canât take it anymoreâŠâ
No, heâs doing it again.
âI canâtâŠâ
Donât say it.
âI want to give upââ
âYEONJUN!â You shout from the top of your lungs.
You grab his cheeks, shaking him violently. His face is so icyâso cold that it could give you frostbites. While heâs sitting, youâre standing on your knees, hovering over him small body.
âGet those thoughts out of your head! Donât ever say that you want to give up! You will make your own mark!! Youâre going to go on stage and prove to yourself that youâre not Taehyung from BTS, but Yeonjun from Tomorrow by Together. AndâŠandâŠâ
You canât hold back your tears either, letting all your emotions out as well.
âIâll be thereâŠsupporting youâŠSoobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai. Because weâre a team, and we help each other out.â
You pull him in for a hug, and his head is nuzzled on your shoulder. When he tries to fight you off of him, you donât let go.
âThey may compare you to Taehyung, and they can hate you for all we care. But youâll never be Taehyung.â
You pull him back, smiling.
âAnd he can never be you, either. Just like how thereâs only one Kim Taehyung from BTS, thereâs only one Choi Yeonjun from TXT, and thatâs you.â
His eyes widen, then within seconds, he bursts into tears. He hides his face in your chest, sobbing like a child. He drops the doll to hold onto you. Despite you shivering too, your body gives so much warmth, and he doesnât want to let go.
Having to grow up into the cruelty known as the entertainment world where the agencies and audience has the right to control their lives, Yeonjun could never cry in pain. His fears hold him back from ever revealing his vulnerable side because heâs the ânumber one trainee of Big Hitâ. A title so high like that, he had to pretend to be a man who can stand tall. ButâŠas time went by, it broke him bit by bit. He was constantly compared and belittled, and it hurt him more than anyone could ever imagine.
â(Y/N)âŠI donât want to let go. Iâm scaredâŠIâm scared of the world, myself, everything.â
âItâs okayâŠdonât worry.â
âI donât hate my seniorsâŠI donât hate our fansâŠI just hateâŠhow the world works.â
âDonât beat yourself up anymore. You donât have to be so hard on yourself. You deserve to eat whatever you want, dress however you want, and be the person you want to be. They can judge you, but they canât define you. Now, letâs go back home.â
==========
Many hours later back in the dorms, the four members are standing by the bedroom door. They want to check, but they donât want to disrupt you and Yeonjun. You two have been in there for hours. But even with the warnings of the other members, Beomgyu is antsy.
âWhy canât I just look?â
âNo! Theyâre probably tired and just want to be left alone.â Soobin steps in between Beomgyu and the door.
Beomgyu groans. âThose two have been doing crazy things, and I canât take a break.â
âLower your voice. Theyâre most likely sleeping.â Taehyun shushes.
ââŠOkayâŠâ he sighs. âBut just a peek.â
Beomgyu steps around Soobin and tries to open the door.
âNo!â Huening Kai pulls him away. âItâs forbidden to intervene in such an intimate moment.â
ââŠYou calling it âintimateâ is just making me even more nervous! What if Yeonjun-hyung is, you know, doing things to her?!â
âThey both came back to the dorms drenched in rain, potentially sick from being exposed to germs, and thatâs what youâre worried about?â Taehyun raises an eyebrow.
âManager has been in the bedroom for a long timeâŠâ Soobin plays with his fingers. âWho wouldâve ever thought that they had an awkward relationship from the beginning?â
âEh? They did?â Beomgyu asks, oblivious.
âOf course. They wanted nothing to do with each other. I donât know when, but they became friends out of nowhere.â
âItâs even weirder that Yeonjun-hyung didnât like her at first, but look at him now,â Taehyun crosses his arms. âHeâs completely infatuated with her.â
Beomgyu stares at the boys, wide-eyed. ââŠWHAT?! Ye-Ye-Yeonjun-hyung l-l-likes Manager?! Since when?!â
âYou couldnât tell?â Huening Kai laughs. âHe makes it very obvious. There are times when he becomes a vicious wolf when we hog her too muchâŠâ
âManager probably likes him too.â Taehyun adds.
âWhatâŠ?â Beomgyu looks baffled and disappointed, like he just lost a battle.
âI wouldnât be surprisedâŠâ Kai drags his sentence. âYeonjun-hyung does have that air of maturity. She probably wants someone like him.â
ââŠIâm an adult too.â Soobin mutters under his breath.
âI do hope that Yeonjun-hyung does realize that not everybody hates us,â Taehyun turns on his phone, sliding through pages of articles. âWe have fans who care about us too. V-sunbaenim also sent us a message in the group chat, asking if weâre okay. He said that heâs even willing to cancel their activity in the U.S. just to visit usâŠâ
âAll of our seniors are worried about us. They do treat us too good.â Huening Kai chuckles nervously.
âOh, I know!â Soobin jumps excitedly. âBefore he wakes up, letâs compile all the supportive comments that weâve received during our hiatus, including some from BTS-sunbaenim.â
âHeâs going to cry for sure. Thereâs so much support from our fans that we canât count. ButâŠevery voice matters, and I kind of want to do that.â Taehyun blushes slightly.
âYea, yea, letâs do it!!!!â Soobin grabs ahold of Huening Kai and swings him back and forth.
âGah! Hyung, let me go!!â
==========
Even though the boys are trying to leave you and Yeonjun alone to rest, theyâre doing a poor job at it. Youâve been trying to fall asleep, but with their loud voices, itâs nearly impossible. However, you canât help but find it endearing, disliking them is even more impossible.
Youâve been sitting by Yeonjunâs bed, having changed out of your patient uniform and into clothes that Soobin rushed to buy just for you. Yeonjun has been sleeping since he was showing signs of a fever. The entire time, he wouldnât let go of your hand, and youâve been holding it since.
When you look at him, Yeonjun has been awake for a while, but you donât know when he woke up. Heâs on his phone, scrolling through his feed.
âOh, youâre not sleeping?â
He shakes his head. âHow am I supposed to sleep with all the ruckus?â
You snicker. âTrue. Iâm sure theyâre just worried.â
âYea, and I feel bad.â
âHey, no need to feel bad,â You hold onto his hand tighter.
He gazes at you with gentle eyes, brushing your hair behind your ears. âHow are you feeling?â
âIâm better than ever.â
âNo fever?â
Yeonjun presses his knuckles against your forehead. As he leans a little closer, it makes you timid with how intense his stare is. Itâs too much that you had to pull yourself away.
âHow are you feeling?â You avert your eyes, scratching your forehead.
âWellâŠIâm dying.â
âWhat?! Wh-what should I do? AhâŠwe have to go to the hospital. Whereâs my phone???â
âIâm dying of embarrassment. I canât believe I broke down in front of you again.â
Youâre still before it finally hits you that it was somewhat of a joke. âJesus Christ, Yeonjun! You scared me!â
âSeriously! My prideâs been ruined, and now I donât think I can ever recover. I vowed that I would never appear weak in front of you again.â
You chuckle. âWhatâs wrong with that? Weâre all human.â
âYea butâŠit makes it seem needy. I want to be able to take care of you too.â
âYouâve done enough for me too.â
âGoing to the store with you doesnât count.â
âIt counts to me!â
âNo,â he sets his phone down, cupping your cheek so you can look at him.
With that brief eye contact, itâs already enough to make you all worked up. Your heartbeat becomes rapid, and your anxiousness has risen. You try to turn away, but he doesnât allow you to do so, turning your head back to him.
âIâm going to prove that Iâm not who the media thinks I am, some innocent boy. Donât forget that Iâm twenty-one. There are things that I crave too, you know?â
âL-like what?â
Take smirks. âTake a guess.â
He brings his face closer to yours. You flinch, but you donât fight it. Your face turns as red as a tomato, so embarrassed that you canât look at him in the face. He loves seeing you flustered because, for once, it seems like youâre able to see him as a man, not a child.
âYeonjunâŠthe boys are in the living room. WeâŠwe shouldnâtâŠâ
âLet them catch us.â
âWh-what??â
âIf youâre so worried about them, then Iâll stop.â
But youâre hesitant, clearly expressing that you donât want to turn him down. It makes Yeonjun smirk.
âThey already know that I called dibs on you a long time ago.â
âL-long time ago?!â You give him a surprised look. âSince whenââ
And without warning, Yeonjun presses his lips against yours. His eyes are closed, the soft sensation of his lips create fireworks in your chest. Thereâs no gap in between, your face brushed against his, and while heâs breathing steadily, you hold your breath.
He pulls back slowly, almost wanting to go again but stopping before he canât control himself. Your entire face has burned up so much that he couldâve sworn he saw steam coming out of your ears. He laughs, finding you absolutely adorable.
âIâll give my everything to the media, our real fans, and especially you, what Iâm made of. I can promise you that.â
Itâs been so long since you last saw confidence in his eyes. In fact, you donât ever recall seeing him as confident as this. He always pulled through challenges with a wink of doubt, never none. As flustered as you are with this sudden kiss, youâre nevertheless happy that heâs found his footing again.
â(Y/N), and Iâll make sure that everybody knows that I likeââ
âMANAGER! IâM GOING TO SAVE YOU!!â
Beomgyuâs abrupt shouting startles both you and Yeonjun as he tries to unlock the door. You two can hear Soobin and Huening Kai struggle to get him off the door as the knob twists side to side.
âIs he hurting you!? He is, isnât he?! I always knew Hyung was a fox in sheepâs clothing!!â
âItâs wolf, not fox!!â Soobin corrects him.
You and Yeonjun look at each other with confused looks, but then it turns into sweet laughter.
You donât know what the future holds for you and the five boys. This isnât going to be the last time people will send hate toward them. It hasnât been long since their debut, so they have a long way before they can show how strong they are. Regardless, each obstacle is a test for them to fight back against those who try to pull them down.
The future may be foggy, but thereâs a purpose with why you became their manager. You and the boys have come together with the same dream of touching the hearts of many, reaching for a better tomorrow. They may have their ups and downs, but itâs these flaws that theyâll learn to grow and become a better and more confident version of themselves. They donât know when the day will come, but for now, theyâll enjoy their journey.
your dance was sooooo good and heartfelt almost?? i loved reading through it!!! the way u expressed a lot of things through the characters then esp his relationship with mc it came off to me as rlly subtle and soft and it gave me this warm feeling in my chest when he finally got that confidence boost!! like i was so proud aw :,) thank u so much for sharing ur writingđ
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Even though it was so short, I wanted to convey as much as I can. Thereâs still a lot that I need to improve on, so thanks for the encouragement ^_^ Have a nice day!!
Summary:Â All he wanted to do was go to the convenience store with you, but that simple desire ends up costing more than he thought.
You and Minho are walking out of the convenient store with Minho holding a grocery bag filled with snacks. Heâs nibbling on a sausage while youâre eating an ice cream.
âI canât believe youâre eating ice cream in the middle of the night.â
âAnd I canât believe youâre eating a sausage.â
âHmâŠtrue.â
You check the grocery bag, making sure that you bought enough for the members back in the dance studio. You look at the time on your phone, and itâs midnight. A second later, you check again, and ten seconds later, you check the time again. Minho can sense how tense you are.
âWhatâs going on?â
âI dunnoâŠThis is my first time doing thisâŠyou knowâŠsneaking out. Like, I know Iâm not supposed to let you guys eat so much unhealthy foodâŠWhat if we get caught??â
He nudges you on the shoulder. âOh god, what are you so scared about? Itâs just once.â
âThatâs what you said last time, and the time before. This isnât a healthy habit!â
âGeez, stop being a goody-two shoes, Manager. You gotta live life to the fullest.â
âSneaking out to buy candy and snacks isnât living to the fullestâŠâ
âWhatever, mood killer.â
âWhat??â
âNothing.â He playfully replies.
You punch him on the arm, laughing along with him.
During the midst of practice, the members were craving for somethingâanythingâto eat. Unable to bear hearing the cries of hunger from the members, you volunteered to sneak in some food from the cafeteria. Minho, who usually maintains his diet pretty well, also raised his hand up to go with you and even persuaded you to get junk food from his favorite convenience store. While you did retaliate at first, you ended up going along with it and immediately regretted it.
You sigh. âWe shouldâve gone to the cafeteria instead.â
âWhy?â
âI think weâve been out for too long. What if the CEO sees us sneaking in with these bags?â
âHeâs currently overseas, so donât worry about it! Besides, all they have is salad tonight and I donât feel like eating it.â
âBut what aboutââ
âYou worry way too much!â
Minho wraps an arm around you, pulling you in for a hug. You nearly stumbled but was able to catch yourself. When you look up, your face is nearly centimeters away from him. You heart stops beating, and when Minho smiles, your heart skips a beat. You move away, pressing the ice cream on your cheek so that it can cool down.
âI-I just want to be safe.â
His smile fades away and becomes serious. There are moments when Minho enjoys playing around with you, and he knows that you get shy easily. You always tell him to stop, but your warning goes in one ear and out the other.
âOh, come on, are you really that upset that we didnât go to the cafeteria?â
You shake your head. âIâm not upset, Iâm just scared,â you chuckle nervously. âBut itâs still nice to spend some quality time with you.â
He doesnât respond immediately. âMm-hmm, itâs hard to talk to you without having the other guys interrupting. We should hang out more like this another day.â
âWe should! I havenât seen your cats in such a long time.â
âI said that we should hang out with each other, not you with my cats.â
âBut I spend less time with them compared to you. Iâm just kidding. But back to the point, I really like hanging out with all of you guys, but Iâd like to spend time with each and every one of you.â
âHey, hey, hey, just me, okay?â
You laugh. âYou sound like an obsessive boyfriend, but wouldnât you consider this be considered as our first date?â
He stares at you blankly, pausing before replying. âNo. This isnât a date. But since you brought that up, yea, letâs do it.â
âDo what?â
âGo on a date. Just us two, alone, nobody else. You and me. (L/N) (Y/N) and Lee Minho.â
âWhat?!â You immediately cover your mouth to avoid grabbing attention. âWhatâŠ??â You whisper.
âWeâre not doing it because weâre romantically interested in each other right? Itâs just for fun, but weâre really going as âfriendsâ.â
You donât know how you two got from talking about snacks to going on a date. You almost laughed to lighten the mood, but seeing how serious his face is, you have a feeling that he isnât joking. You werenât thinking as the next hangout to be considered as a date, but since youâve never gone on a date before, so you thought, why not?
âSure.â
He extends his pinky finger. âAlright, promise me?â
You find this a little cute. Minho, a fully grown adult, wanting to do a pinky promise with you. You grin from ear-to-ear, curling your small pinky with his. âPromise!â
ButâŠamidst the fun, unbeknownst to you and Minho, thereâs a strange man wearing a face mask and cap, hiding his identity and crouching behind a bush, taking pictures of you and him together.
==========
Itâs been a day since you snuck out with Minho, and now youâre in the building just coming out from a meeting. It was a briefing to schedule a day to go a radio show that they usually go on for every comeback. Usually, the members are a part of the meeting, but theyâre so busy with dance practice that you decided to cover it for them. Theyâve gone on the show so much that the producers from the radio are familiar with them.
You look through the schedule on your tablet, seeing how busy theyâre going to be next week. You sigh, not excited to see them overworked. They already lack sleep and a member is always receiving a new injury every day, but with the inclusion of going on shows and having cameras on them constantly is just another add-on to their stress. Then again, this is a part of their job, and the best you can do is try to make it as easy as possible for them.
âMiss (Y/N).â Calling from behind you is the head of the casting departmentâs secretary, Miss Choi.
You give her a polite smile, bowing slightly. âGood afternoon!â
âChoi Eunha would like to see you in her office.â
âRight now? I was just about to head to the boysâ practice room.â
âYes, this is urgent, and she needs you immediately.â
You donât like the sound of that. You rarely see your boss, and when you do, itâs usually because you get into quarrels with her. It was like that as well when you appointed yourself as Stray Kidsâ manager even after she deemed you as too unprepared to handle a boy group.
You sigh, but you also crack a smile. âOkay.â
==========
In Eunhaâs office, the walls are covered in dark green wallpaper, shelves filled with music scores, trophies, and how-to books on building successful businesses. Hanging on the walls are photos of when your boss was younger, shaking hands with the J.Y.P. along with other important figures. Her desk has a folder organizer, which is basically a convenient metal divider that holds paper. On the opposite end is her desktop computer.
Sitting on the other side of the mahogany desk is you, your shoulders crunched up as you look around the room that youâve seen many times before. Thereâs a stern look on her face, meaning that what sheâs about to tell you isnât going to be in your favor. She types, tapping each key individually with her long, witch nails painted red.
Once sheâs done that, she rotates her computer around to show whatâs on her screen. âRead this for me. Aloud.â
Displayed in front of you is an online article. Thereâs the title in bold fonts. âLee Know of Stray Kids Spotted with an Unidentified Woman at a Convenient StorâWHAT?!â
You cover your mouth with both your hands in utter shock. Underneath the title is a picture of you and Minho, and his arm is around your neck. You can clearly see a side view of Minhoâs face, but thankfully your face has been obscured, only revealing your back. Even then, you were wearing your hoodie over your head, so it isnât even possible to see you entirely.
But still, it doesnât solve the issue that you and Minho have been caught together. Judging by this picture alone, you can already sense the enormous amout of backlash from both the entertainment world and the consumers. This speaks high volume that this looks like you and Minho were on a date.
âYou should be kissing Godâs ass right now that the netizen couldnât get a picture of your face, but who knows when theyâll dig up your identity. Care to explain why you and Lee Minho were out so late at night?â Without even having to ask her, sheâs clearly trying to reserve her anger.
âUhmâŠokayâŠitâs not what it looks like, MaâamâŠMinho and I wanted to get some fresh air.â
âAnd why did you guys decide to go out when you guys couldâve just hung outside the building?â
âWellâŠuhâŠyou seeâŠthe boys were getting hungry. They were starving! So I couldnât let them practice in that state, so I offered to go buy food for them and Minho tagged along with me.â
But youâre unable to convince her, so she opens her mouth to begin her lecture, but you think of anything to interrupt her. âLook, Maâam! Itâs not what you think!! You know how journalists are!! Ah ha haâŠthey make things seem more dramatic than usual just to get the clicks. Minho and I werenât going on a date. They were craving for some snacks, so we went out. Thatâs all! Thereâs nothing going on between me and Minho. Absolutely nothing.â
Eunha raises an eyebrow, crossing her eyes as she leans back in her chair. The lack of response makes you anxious, internally begging for her to just say something, anything.
âI know it wasnât your intention to be caught, and Iâm gonna go on the limb and believe that you and Lee Minho arenât dating. However. You still violated the rules. You should be well aware that, as their manager, you must keep your relationship with them professional.â
âYes, I know, butââ
âAnd! During their dieting phase, they must not eat any junk food. I trusted you with that responsibility, but you failed to maintain it.â
âIâm very sorry!â You bow. âThis wonât happen again! Please, do whatever you want with me, but donât punish the boys.â
âHmâŠvery well. Then I have something in mind for you.â
==========
âWhat?!â Everybody shouts in unison.
In the dance practice room, the nine boys surround you in a semi-circle. Your head is sow and your shoulders are slumped with shame. Everyone is devastated with the news, but Minho is the one whoâs been impacted the most.
âWhat are we going to do?!â Hyunjin pulls his hair.
âThatâs it. We might as well say our goodbyes to each other. Weâre not gonna last a week,â Changbin says, like heâs reciting a line from a soap opera. âWeâre gonna die.â
âChangbin, itâs not the end of the world. You guys will be fine,â You elbow him playfully, although it was a bit forced. âAs much as I donât want to separate from you guys either, thereâs not much we can do.â
Eunha has decided that you will not be with them during their comeback. In order to avoid more gossip, she thought it would be safest if you did work at home, scheduling and making phone calls, and wait until the rumors have died down until you can work with them again. Not only that, but you also canât text or call them, and if you had something to say, you would have to contact their temporary manager. You canât even be in the building if theyâre in the building as well. Youâre practically quarantined from them.
âIsnât this a bit too muchâŠ?â Felix asks with a saddened tone.
âIt isâŠbut honestly, this is better than being fired, am I right?â You said that as a joke, but nobody laughs.
âSoâŠno texting? No calling?â Hyunjin asks.
âWe canât even say hi to you?â Seungmin also asks.
You shake your head. âYou guys have to pretend that I donât exist. But donât worry! Itâll just be temporary. Once the public forgets about it, then Iâll be back in no time. Iâll sure the temp manager will take care of you guys well.â
âButâŠitâs not gonna the same without you.â Jisung sulks
âWhoâs gonna carry my stuff? Our stage clothes? My gaming consoles??â Jeongin tries his best not to panic.
You lower your eyebrows. âYour new manager will do all that for you. And Iâm your manager, not your bellboy.â
âI knowâŠbut what if the new manager glares at me if I ask him to carry my stuff? At least you understand.â
âGuys, we shouldnât be whining about it. Itâs technically our fault too,â Chan chimes in. âWeâre the ones who kept begging for food, and we were well aware of the rules too. The decision has already been made, so what we can do now is continue training and prove that we can do this ourselves!â
âRemember when Chan had to be our manager for a time because we couldnât afford one?â Woojin adds. âHaving (Y/N) babysit us made us forget that weâve did it before, and we can do it again.â
âWellâŠdonât prove too well that you guys are independent. Otherwise, Iâm not gonna have a job.â You jester.
âYeaâŠyea, youâre right. We got this!â Jisung cheers, fist pumping the air.
âButâŠIâm still gonna miss you.â Felix says, but instinctively in English.
âIâll miss you guys too, but it wonât be for long.â
You love each and every member, especially for how positive their mindset is. Even though they go through their own individual struggles, they do their best to overcome them and help each other. They started from scratch before, so not having you isnât going to be a problem.
âŠOr at least thatâs what you hope so. You turn to Minho, who hasnât said a single world since you broke the news.  âMinho? Are you okay?â
Almost like that was a trigger, he marches out of the practice room. Heâs clearly upset by this, but even more than the members. You run after him, following his heavy footsteps.
==========
Minho is standing by the elevator, tapping his foot as he waits for the doors to slide open. His arms are crossed, and although his expression is like his usual blank look, thereâs fury behind his eyes, like heâs about to start a fire.
You catch up to him before the doors open, leaning over and putting your hands on your knees to keep you up. âWhere are you going?â
âIâm going to talk to your boss.â
âWhat?!â
âItâs not fair.â
âWhatâs not fair?â
âYouâre the only one whoâs being punished when I played a part in it too.â
The elevator dings and the doors open. Before he enters, you grab him by the sleeve. âWait! Youâre not serious about talking to her, are you?â
His silence is his way of saying âyes, Iâm serious.â
âPlease think about it carefully. Iâm sure itâs because you guys are releasing a new album soon and punishing you guys will just intervene with your schedule. She probably wants you guys to focus on practicing.â
âThen why didnât she say anything to us? Why is it just you? Did she not say anything about us at all?â
You let go of his sleeve, scratching your chin. ââŠShe didnât say anythingâŠBut! I guarantee that itâs because you guys are working and being disciplined is not going make things any better. If anything, if you want to be cynical, then it could also be because she didnât want to get in trouble herself! You guys are well-loved, so if she was caught yelling at you guys, itâll just bite her back.â
He stares blankly at you, but his mind is somewhere else. This goes on for a few more seconds before he nods his head as if he just agreed to the conversation he had in his mind.
âAhâŠI get it now.â
âGet what?â
âYour boss is technically punishing us.â
âWait, what?â
âYea, by taking you away.â
âŠReally?
âUgh, that bitch, because of her we canât go on our date.â
âWhoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone there, Minho. Iâm on temporary leave, not fired. But if you keep calling her names, Iâm seriously going to lose my job.â
âWhat? Donât deny the truth.â
You canât believe he called her that with such anguish. It almost makes you laugh, turning this situation more light-hearted. Plus, his priorities are definitely not in the same playing field as the rest of the members.
âAnd youâre upset about the date? I thought we were just kidding about that.â
Again, he stares at you with his wide, blank eyes, then he shakes his head. âNo. I was being serious. Why would I joke around about that?â
Your smile fades, then your cheeks become red. You donât know how he can remain calm by saying such bold claims. âMinhoâŠstop saying stuff like that or else weâll get into more trouble.â
He sighs. âI was so excited about this date too, and I donât want to wait any longer than I should.â
Youâre flattered that he wants to go on this date with you, but you actually werenât intending for him to mean it. However, you canât bear to break his heart any more than you should, so regardless if heâs joking or not, itâs best to cheer him up.
âAlright, think about it this way: once the rumors died down and I come back, then weâll plan out thisâŠâdateâ.â
Light returns in his eyes, and he smiles from ear-to-eat. He gasps subtly, unable to contain that thrill in him, already thinking of places to take you.
âOkay, okay, but wait at least. Give or take a few weeks, then weâll see each other again, alright? For now, take care, and please take care of the other members too.â
ââŠAlright.â Minho spreads his arms wide, wanting a hug. As much as you want to hug him, you donât dare repeat the same mistake. For all you know, thereâs probably an employee watching you two.
Wait until everybody forgot, you convince yourself.
You hate that youâre doing this, but you walk around Minho, pressing on the elevator âupâ arrow. The door rings open, and you enter. âI-Iâll see you soon, Minho! Good luck on the comeback!â
You keep waving until the door closes, and the last thing you see is his unpredictable, hollow gaze. You donât know what heâs thinking, but for all you know, you probably upset him for ignoring his hug. You bang your head on the wall, sighing heavily.
âTheyâll be alrightâŠrightâŠ?â
==========
Hello, this is JYP,
Firstly, we sincerely apologize to STAYs who have been left with confusion these past few days. With the bottom of their hearts, Stray Kids love and appreciate each and every STAY and would like to clear the dating rumor between Lee Know and the woman in the photo. It is confirmed that the idol and the woman are not dating.
The woman has officially been identified as a JYP employee and would like to remain anonymous. She has violated one of the rules and endangered the idol by sneaking him out late at night, so she has been put on temporary leave. Once again, we would like to apologize for a late response. Please look forward to Stray Kidsâ comeback as they worked endlessly for you STAYs.
âŠEven though you know that this isnât intended to offend you and to just divert the fansâ attention away, but it still felt like a direct attack toward you. Already from Naver, youâre getting immense backlash. Many of the fans are criticizing you for exposing Minho to danger, then there are others who are outright calling you insulting names.
However, you donât blame them. The notice itself is vague, and it painted you as somewhat of a villain. It isnât like you can reveal yourself and beg them to understand your side of the story; itâll just make the situation worst by revealing your face.
You lean back on your living room couch, tossing your phone to the side. In your one-bedroom apartment, the curtains are blocking every possible opening. Youâre afraid that an obsessed fan or netizen is going to take a picture of you through your balcony sliding door or from a window.
Itâs been a full week since you last had contact with the guys, and itâs getting lonely. Youâve dedicated most of your time with them that you never really had the chance to make friends. Since youâve been separated from the boys, you never realized how much of a pitiful life youâre living. You donât even have a pet to keep you company.
But on the bright side, the release of their new music video went smoothly. Theyâve been receiving praise for it, which is a definite plus in the right direction. Fans should be focusing on this, not some half-assed apology that some faceless employee wrote. They became fans for the members, not for the drama.
âI wonder how theyâre doingâŠâ
You shouldnât worry too much. Theyâre all grown men who live together, and they havenât burned down their dorm yet, so thatâs a good sign that theyâre doing fine. Despite that, you still miss hanging out with them.
You sit up straight with a new determination in your eyes. Even if youâre not physically there for them, itâs still your duty as their manager to take care of them. For all you know, theyâre probably starving themselves. Luckily, their current manager sent you their location in case thereâs an emergency. You search up the name of their favorite fried chicken place, download their app, then placed an order.
Once thatâs over with, thereâs an option to add extra customer notes. You do have something in mind, but you feel bad for whoever is going to have to do it. You decide to go along with it and pay more in tips. When youâre done, you send a text message to the temp manager to give him a heads up.
==========
The nine boys return from the backstage and back to their private space. They take off their coats, using handheld fans to cool their faces down. The staff members are putting cooling packs on their faces. They rest silently, none of them saying a word as their temp manager is nonchalantly playing on his phone. The boys stare at him, somewhat waiting for him to say words of encouragement. However, he simply continues playing games, tapping aggressively on his screen.
Even though they assured you that theyâll be fine on their own, but they didnât specifically say that theyâll be alright in the long run. With each passing day, their spirit falters more and more. Although theyâre always encouraging each other, it doesnât feel the same when youâre not there to give them a pep talk.
âIâm so bored.â Hyunjin says to end the silence.
âItâs too quietâŠâ Seungmin adds.
âMy mental energy is deterioratingâŠI need something refreshing.â Jisung continues.
âSomethingâŠsweetâŠand niceâŠand bubbly,â Changbin lists. ââŠAnd has pretty eyesâŠcontagious smileâŠand positive attitudeâŠand very good at managing us.â
âShh! Donât say stuff like that.â Chan elbows Changbin, flicking his chin to point at their temp manager.
âOw! What?? Iâm just being honest!! Itâs not like heâs gonna hear us. Heâs blasting the hell outta his video game!â
And heâs right. The manager has his earphones plugged in, so into his game.
âStill. Be careful with what you say.â
ââŠI miss (Y/N).â Felix bluntly states.
Chan tries to think of something, but he canât help but agree with him as well. Everyone here misses you. One of your traits that they took for granted is your gentle nature. No matter how dark things get, you always turn it around into a positive light. Even though criticism is always welcomed, it doesnât hurt to hear your praise every so often.
But out of the nine members, thereâs one whoâs taking it the hardest. Minho is sitting on the floor over a blanket, watching a video on his phone. Jisung lays down next to him and looks over to see what heâs watching.
âHey, hey, whadda you watchinâ?â
In the video, Minho is the one holding the phone, and heâs recording a video of his cats playing in his parentsâ home. His voice can be heard cooing at his three pets as they claw at their new toy. Within seconds, Jisung is already bored and was about to leave before he hears a second voice in the video.
âSoongie, come here!â Your legs entire from the right side of the screen, getting on your knees and crouching over to get his catâs attention.
You spread your arms out for her to run in, and Soongie stares at you suspiciously before slowly approaching you. She rests in your lap, and you hug her.
âYouâre getting bigger. Minho better be raising you right.â
âOf course, Iâm her owner, after all.â
You laugh. âThatâs the problem.â
Jisung is able to quickly see the date that the video was recorded, and it was before their debut. Judging by the hairstyle you have in the video, it was taken right before the filming of Hellavator.
Minho pauses the video, staring at a freeze-frame of you smiling at the camera. Jisung gives him a concerned look, raising an eyebrow at his sanity. He then zooms in to your face, gazing at it a few seconds longer.
Unable to handle it any longer, Jisung hits him on the arm. âHyung, what are you, a creep?â
He stares at him with his emotionless eyes. âNo.â
After responding to that rhetorical question, Minho stakes a screenshot of your faceâten times. He presses the home button on his phone, exposing his home wallpaper to be a close-up of your face.
âWhat in theâŠâ
Despite the rule of erasing any connections that leads back to you, Minho isnât making it subtle in the slightest. Minho stands up and walks to the counter where itâs filled with snacks and drinks. He picks up a can of soda, flicking it open and the carbonation fizzling into the air.
Jisung follows him, his jaw still hanging open. âHyungâŠare you okay?â
âMm, I am,â he takes a sip then picks up a piece of fruit and shows it to him. âHan, did you know that this is (Y/N)âs favorite fruit?â
âHyung, can you at least not mention her name?? For all we know, there could be people listening.â
Minho gazes at the soda. âDoesnât this drink look like her too?â
Jisung slumps his shoulders. ââŠI think you need help.â
âWhy? Iâm fine.â
But that response doesnât do much to convince Jisung. âWe all miss her too, but you canât just keep waving your phone around in public. Itâs just going to incriminate her more.â
âYou know, I didnât even get to hug her before she left.â
âAre you even listening to me?!â He sighs. âSometimes I wonder if your brain is complicated or youâre just single-minded.â
Minho gazes at the soda like itâs his long lost soulmate, rotating it around to see its every beauty.
âDid you guys order chicken?â A staff member enters the private sector.
The members look at each other, giving each other puzzled looks. The temp manager flicks his eyes at the deliverer then sets his phone down. âHere.â
He gets up and takes the boxes of chicken. The boys can already smell the greasy, fried smell of the oil oozing from the containers. The manager sets it down on the counter, displaying the content one by one.
They circle around the food, Woojin opening it first and the brightest smile appears on his face. âChicken!!â
âWhoa! Did you buy this, Manager??â
The temp manager shakes his head.
âLook, thereâs a note.â Seungmin takes out a piece of folded paper.
He unfolds it, and while the handwriting is unfamiliar, the letter is recognizable.
Good job on the performance tonight, guys! Donât stress yourselves out too much and use every chance to take a break. Make sure to eat a lot and please, please treat the manager kindly.
Even though itâs anonymous, itâs obvious who sent the fried chicken here. Even though itâs you, you made a special request for the chicken place to write a note.
âManagerrrrrrrrrrrâŠâ Hyunjin drags the last syllable of your name, almost shedding a tear.
âAhâŠI read that in her voice.â Jisung sniffs exaggeratedly.
The boys pass out the wooden chopsticks, each of them taking a piece and eating it. Each and every member savors the snack, appreciating your gift. Even when youâre not there, youâre still caring for them.
âMinho, are you gonna eat?â Chan turns to him.
But instead of answering, he glares at the box of chicken. Once again, no one knows what heâs thinking.
ââŠMinho?â
He takes his phone out from his pocket, scrolling through his contacts. Chan leans over to peek at his screen, and to his horror, heâs trying to call you.
âMinho?! What are you doing?!â
âCalling her.â
âWhy??â
âBecause I want to.â
âYou canât!â
He reaches out to swipe the phone out of his hand. But Minho moves back, pulling his phone away from Chanâs grasp. Minho nearly falls down as he avoids Chanâs hand. In the midst of their fight, his thumb accidentally presses on the âcallâ button.
âHang it up right now!â
âNo.â He runs away from Chan.
They run in circles while the younger members plus Woojin are staring at their fiasco. Their temp manager doesnât even bat an eye, piling his plastic plate with as many fried chickens that it can bear to hold.
âAre you trying to get her in trouble??â
âItâs just for a second.â
But this comes to a quick end when the ringing ends, which meant that you deliberately declined his call. Minho freezes on the spot, causing Chan to run into him. They both fall to the ground, his cheek hitting his phone.
âWhat the hell, Minho?!â
âSheâŠturned down my call.â
âWhat?â
âShe turned it downâŠâ He repeats but in a more sullen tone.
Chan gets up, helping Minho up as well. After getting a good look at his heart-broken face, heâs no longer angry at him and instead, pities him.
âSheâŠdidnât want to answer my call. She doesnât want to talk to me,â he continues his muttering.
âHey, hey, chill,â Chan pats him on the back. âSheâs most likely following the rules and doesnât want us to get into trouble again. Iâm sure it isnât because of what you think.â
Despite the comfort, his words go in from one ear and out the other.
==========
âWhat did I do, what did I do, what did I doâŠ??â You ramble to yourself.
You didnât mean to decline his call. You panicked, wanting to pick it up, but in the back of your head, you could hear your bossâs haunting voice threatening to fire you. In a split second, you tapped that red, glowing decline button.
While you thought that it was going to make you relieved, youâre now overwhelmed with guilt. You know full well that before you left, Minho made it clear that he was upset with your bossâs decision. Although you arenât entirely sure why he would call you, it mightâve been important, so it only makes you feel all the more guilty.
âTheyâŠthey have their managerâŠthey should be okay,â you try convincing yourself. âItâs only for a little longer.â
==========
A few more days go by, and still no updates regarding you. No one has any idea what youâre doing, and theyâve been doing nothing but going to one performance after another. Every so often, they would go on a variety show, but then they would go back to performing again.
In the middle of their hectic schedule, they have a chance to take a break, but the boys settled with staying in their practice room to see if they can improve on their choreography. As their promotion is hitting home-stretch, their exhaustion is creeping up on them. Itâs times like these when they become the most sensitiveâthe littlest thing triggering them into a tantrum or breakdown into tears.
And while the boysâ energy is being tested, Minho is the one whoâs struggling the most. Every time they have an ounce of a break, he would dart straight to his phone, praying that heâll see a call or text from you. But to his disappointment, itâs the opposite.
Minho rarely expresses distraught, so when it comes to times like this, they donât know what to say or do to make him feel any better. The only remedy they could think of is bringing you back, but they donât want to risk the factor of getting you fired or starting rumors.
âOkay, take ten.â Chan dismisses them.
Just as predicted, Minho glides across the room and to the counter where his phone resides. He turns it on only to slump his shoulders when thereâs no notifications from you.
Jeongin and Seungmin watch from afar as they pity him. Theyâve never seen him so depressed before. Itâs so bad to the extent that they feel bad whenever theyâre feeling cheery while heâs suffering.
âItâs like watching a monkey in a cage reaching for a banana thatâs too far. So sad.â Seungmin states.
âDo you think we should ask our temp manager if he can put her on the phone? Itâs hard watching Hyung in this state.â
âAnd risk her getting in trouble? You never know what stalkers are up to these days, hacking into our information.â
âRightâŠâ Jeongin trails off. âButâŠwhy is Hyung like this? We want her back too, especially since our currentâŠâmanagerââŠisnât the best.â
Jeongin and Seungmin look at the corner, where their temp manager is sitting on a chair, completely out cold and snoring. On his stomach are crumbs of snacks that he didnât bother sharing with the rest of the boys. His phone is on his stomach too, his game still on.
âDo you really thinkâŠHyung and (Y/N) areâŠdating?â Jeongin brings up. âI mean, it has to be really serious for (Y/N) to leave us.â
âHey, hey, donât be crazy,â Jisung stands in between them, wrapping his arms around the two youngest members. â(Y/N) would never go for anyone like Minho-hyung, I think. Sure, heâs got the looks, but (Y/N) is wayyy out of his league. She should go for someone elseâŠlike me!â He points his thumb to himself with a bright smile.
However, neither of the two boys laughs. Jisungâs grin disappears, playfully punching Jeongin and Seungmin.
âNo one will ever go for you, Hyung!â Jeongin teases.
âWhat?? Do you want to have a talk after this??â
âAHHHHHHH!!!!!â
This sudden scream nearly gives Jisung a heart attack. Without thinking, he jumps onto Jeongin, holding onto him so tightly that he canât breathe.
âWh-wh-wh-what was that?!â
The source of the shout came from none other than Minho. And just like that, he returns to playing with his phone. At an absolute loss from this out-of-sorts behavior, the boys stare at Minho, waiting for him to explain his outburst. Even the temp manager woke up from his nap and was startled by him.
âMinâŠhoâŠ?â Chan calls his name questioningly.
He looks up with innocent eyes. ââSup.â
âDoâŠyou need to have a talk?â
âNo. Iâm perfectly fine,â he laughs like an insane person.
ââŠLetâs have a chat.â
=========
On the third floor patio of the building, Chan and Minho are leaning over the ledge, drinking cold water bottles. The sun is setting over the horizon decorated with Seoulâs city skyscrapers. The sky is baby blue but fades into a burning orange as it reaches the land. Among the two men, the sounds of city noise wrap around them, the honking and car motors growling coming from cars.
But none of that matters, at least to Minho. He could care less about the cityâs serenity. If he could switch the city to see you under the sunset, then he wouldâve done it in an instant. And thatâs the issue that Chan has with him.
âI think itâs better to cut to the chase, but you need to snap out of it.â
âSnap out of what?â
Chan sighs. âGet your head out of the clouds and get back to work! I swear, you need to stop acting like child begging for his mother. Youâre a grown adult.â
His bluntness makes Minho return to reality. Even though Minho hardly said a word about whatâs bothering him, itâs very obvious what the source of it is.
âDo you want to see (Y/N)?â
Mentioning your name catches his attention, darting his eyes to him. With how fast he moved, Chan jolts.
âIs she here??â
âWhat?? No! Maybe? Probably? I dunno. Look, Iâm not bringing her up because sheâs here, but thereâs something thatâs obviously bothering you more than you missing her, isnât there?â
Minho doesnât answer, so Chan isnât sure if he hit the nail or not.
âWuagh!!!â he shouts without warning, startling Chan. âWho gave that lady the right to boss her around like that?!â
Presumably by âladyâ, Minho is referring to your boss, Eunha.
âHer boss treats her like shit because she just hates her!! This is why sheâs forcing (Y/N) not to talk to us! This is a punishment for her, but why does it feel like Iâm suffering the most?!â He slams his head against the rails, groaning like heâs in pain.
ââŠDid you guys end on a bad note before the separation?â
ââŠI was the one who told her that itâd be okay to go, itâs obviously my fault, but she took the blame. She did, not me. Then she ignores my call. Sheâs mad at me for getting her in trouble for what I did.â
ââŠOhhhâŠI get it. Then why donât you just clarify it with her?â
ââŠClarify?â
He nods. âI mean, yea. Itâs all mental barriers. When you think about it, there arenât actually any limits. Just go talk to her, whoâs stopping you?â
ââŠYouâre right.â
âYea, if you feel guilty, then stand your ground and let her know straight up.â
âThanks, Hyung. I needed the encouragement. Instead of wailing like a baby, I should do something. This is my life, so Iâm not going to let what others tell me what to do!â He chugs the water bottle until itâs empty. âMaybe she didnât intentionally decline my call! Iâll confront her and ask her straight-up!â
ââŠWhat?â
With this newfound confidence, Minho crushes the plastic bottle and throws it in the recycling bin. He wipes his lips, marching back inside.
âW-waitâŠwhere are you going?â
âIâm gonna go talk to (Y/N).â
âOh, okâWHAT?!â
Before he knows it, Minho has already ran off.
âThatâs not what I was talking about! I was saying that you should talk to (Y/N)âs boss, not (Y/N) herself!!!â Chan chases after him.
==========
Since youâve been working at home, you feel like youâll go insane if youâre holed up any longer. Earlier in the day, you went out for a quick walk around the park, spending most of the time sitting on the bench and enjoying the fresh air. It felt weird relaxing since youâre always working. You even forgot how it was like to take a break, so it was nice to take some time for yourself.
You wonder how the boys are doing, hopefully not overworking themselves as usual. You would text the current manager and ask him about them, but he would always reply with a âtheyâre fineâ. The vagueness of it doesnât soothe your distress. However, thereâs not much you can do about it, so you have to trust his words.
You sigh. Perhaps youâve become a workaholicâso much so that thatâs all you ever think about. You even feel a little anxious if youâre relaxing a bit too much. Not only that, but ignoring Minhoâs call also took a small toll on you. You pray that he knew that it was a misunderstanding. If he doesnât, then when you get back to work, youâll explain everything to him.
âI wonder how heâs doing.â
Then out of the blue, you hear fast-paced footsteps coming from behind. Curious, you turn around, and for a second, you thought that your eyes were playing tricks on you. Running toward you is none other than Minho himself.
âM-Minho?!â
He brakes, stopping inches away from you. You raise your arms up to protect yourself in case he runs into you, but luckily he didnât. Without warning, he puts both of his hands on your shoulders, staring at you with his wide eyes as if making sure that itâs really you.
Feeling insecure, you avert your eyes. âWh-wh-what are you doing here?â
Then he twirls his head around, checking his surroundings like heâs being chased. âNo time to explain. Come with me.â
Without warning, he carries you over his shoulder. âO-oh my godâŠ!!! Minho!!! Put me down!!â You kick your feet and flail your arms, but when he nearly drops you, you hold onto him. âW-wait, donât drop me though!!â
âSorry. Letâs go.â He runs off, still hanging over his shoulder.
==========
In a more desolated section of the neighborhood, Minho finally puts you down. He leans on the wall of a building, finding difficulty catching his breath. He slides down against the wall, hitting the back of his head on it.
You get down on your knees, scooting closer to him. âWhat are you doing here? Youâre sweating enough to make a lake.â
âMy legsâŠso sore.â
âYouâre in your exercise clothes too. Did you just get out of practice today??â
His face turns red, heating up like a robotâs exhausted engine. You brush his bangs away so you can place the back of your hand on his forehead. His sweat rubs off on your knuckles, and while his face is red, his temperature is normal.
âThank god youâre okay. Do you need water?â
But rather than responding to you, he takes ahold of your hand. You flinch, but you donât jerk your hand away, unsure of what heâs going to do next. He closes his eyes, moving your hand to his cheek. Your heart skips a beat, but youâre so taken aback that youâre frozen. You can feel his sweat being wiped with your hand, making you conscious that youâre making his face dirty but he doesnât seem to mind.
âWhy did you decline my call?â He asks bluntly.
His question throws you off, muddled with what you want to say. You two havenât seen each other in weeks, and this is the first thing he says to you? Then again, this wouldâve been the first that came to mind too when you reunite with him.
âI-I didnât mean to. I wasnât thinking and accidentally rejected.â
ââŠSo you donât hate me?â
âWhat? Why would I hate you?â You laugh. âWhere is this coming from?â
âOh, good,â he keeps rubbing your hand against his cheek. âI just wanted to ask you that.â
ââŠThatâs it?â
âYea.â
ââŠReally?â
âYup.â
You stare at him blankly, then burst into laughter. âYouâre so weird. You come here out of breath and sweaty just for you to ask me that?â
Even though youâre the one whoâs giddy, he doesnât have an ounce of laughter. He isnât letting go of your hand.
âItâs not funny.â
His dead tone makes your laugh disappear. For a second, your heart dropped at the fear that you angered him for fooling around.
âI thought you were angry at me for not taking responsibility and didnât want to talk to me anymore.â
âResponsibilityâŠ? For what? âŠOh.â
Not once did you think that he was to blame. Of course, he was the one who gave you the idea to go to the convenience store, but you werenât expecting this to haunt Minho. Itâs almost adorable about how guilty he feels.
âI would never hate you or any of the members,â You crouch next to him, leaning on the wall with him. âIf I did, then I wouldâve quit a long time ago. Iâm sorry for not picking up your call, but you canât be calling me when we have to keep our friendship hidden until the coast is clear.â
Again, his disappointed look doesnât go away. You contemplate about what to say next, but nothing comes to mind. With his unreadable expressions, itâs like tiptoeing through a field of mines.
âWhy canât I be happy without worrying about what others think of me?â
His fingers intertwine with yours.
âWhy am I criticized for wanting to be with you?â
Suddenly, he kisses the back of your hand. Your eyes widen, in utter shock with what heâs done, but your mind is in shambles with how to interpret the kiss. While youâre still processing the flirtatious move, Minho takes this opportunity to make a move on you. He leans over, and you lean back. He keeps drawing closer and closer until you nearly fall down.
âW-what are you doing?â
âIt felt like years since I last saw you. It was seriously hellâŠâ
âMinho, languageâŠâ
âIt felt like forever, but it was only weeks. I thought re-watching videos and keeping two hundred pictures of you would make it better, but no. It did nothing.â
ââŠExcuse meâŠ?â You thought you heard him wrong, but two hundred?
âIt made me wonder why I thought like that. And I think I know whyâŠâ
He lets go of your hand, wrapping his arm around you, pressing his face against your collarbone. With his weight on your shoulders, you fall on your bottom. His hot breath lays on your skin, making your skin tickle a bit.
âHeyâŠare you feeling well?â
âNo. Not at all. Not even a little. Iâm suffering so much that I could die.â
âIsnât that a bit of an exaggerationâŠâ
âNo itâs not. How dare you belittle my feelings like that?â He sulks.
The two of you are on the ground, ignoring the germs of the sidewalk and focusing on each other. His cheeks have become red, completely infatuated with you. All he sees in his eyes is you, and all he wants is you.
You snicker.
âWhatâs so funny?â
âYouâre acting like a clingy child. Itâs kind of adorable.â
Although âadorableâ was meant as a compliment, he took it as an insult. It made him think that you donât see him as a man but as a baby brother. Heâs not masculine, but an immature boy.
A little annoyed, he decides to prove to you the opposite. Out of the blue, he pins you against the wall. He corners you with his hands, his broad body hovering over you so that you canât escape. Your smile is gone and your heart nearly stops beating.
âM-M-M-Minho?!â
He cups your chin, raising it up and forcing you to look at him in the eyes.
âWh-what are you doing?!â
âWhat does it look like Iâm doing?â
You push him away gently, but he refuses to move. âP-p-people might be watchingâŠâ
âThen let them look. Let the entire world be exposed to us.â
He leans over, closing his eyes and puckering his lips. Although youâre a nervous wreck, a part of you feels an odd excitement for thisâlike youâre doing something scandalous, but itâs thrilling at the same time. Because the media rejects you as Minhoâs friend and demands that youâre nothing more than a manager, it kind of hurts you too knowing that you donât have the freedom to choose. Due to the rejection, you had no choice but to be separated from him and the rest of the boys.
You squeeze your eyes shut, being able to feel Minhoâs body heat. Heâs so close to your face that you can feel his breathingâyou can even smell his natural scent. Youâre so nervous that you canât hear anything else other than your racing heart that runs faster than a speeding car.
âMINHO!â
Suddenly, Minho is pulled away from you. You open your eyes and is shocked to see Chan lifting Minho up by the shirt.
â(Y/N), are you okay?? Did he hurt you??â
Youâre too surprised to say anything, so you shake your head.
âMinho, if you actually hurt her then Iâll report youââ
âIâm okay, really!â
âDonât lie to protect his butt.â
âNo, no, no, itâs fine. Itâs not what it seems.â
âItâs exactly what you think,â Minho interrupts. âI did what you suggested I should do, Hyung. I confronted my problem.â
You turn your head to Chan, raising an eyebrow. âWhat?!â
âN-not like that! Heâs twisting my words.â
Minho grins like he just had a load of weight off his shoulders. You feel like you were being played, but the emotions that he was conveying before Chanâs intervention was definitely not a joke, especially with what he was about to do just seconds earlier.
âGreatâŠâ Chan sighs. âRight when the rumors were just fading, who knows whatâll happen now.â
You donât know either. You turn to him, and he looks a little gloomy when Chan brought up the issue about rumors again. You donât even know if anybody spotted you and him. But when you think about it, you remember what Minho said.
âRumors donât really matter. If people donât like him for doing what he wants, then theyâre more than welcome to ignore it.â You look over at Minho.
For once, he actually has a change of expression, looking rather surprised. You smile, making his cheeks turn red. Chan looks at you, then at Minho, then back at you, confused.
âThen, can I kiss yoââ
âDoing things to people with their consent, of course,â you bluntly state. âBut I can promise you that Iâll never quit being your manager, even if my boss fires me. You can guarantee that. Then maybeâŠâ your cheeks slowly turn red. ââŠWeâll finally go on the date that we promised. I-if that makes you happyâŠâ
Youâve never seen him so genuinely happy. That beaming smile on his eyeâso wide that his eyes become crescents. His endearing giggle seeping through his teeth, making your chest become fuzzy inside. Perhaps, it wasnât so bad that the netizens caught you two together, and now, you donât mind if they caught you two again.
âI donât know what happenedâŠbut okayâŠif you say so.â Chan lets go of Minho.
Now off the grasp of Chan, he dashes toward you, hugging you so tight that you canât breathe. He rubs his cheek against yours, unable to stop his giggling.
âThat means that we can date.â
âDate?!!â You blurt.
âOkay, thatâs going overboard.â
Chan carries Minho, pulling him away from you.
âLet me go! Manager said that I can do whatever I want.â
â(Y/N), sorry for disrupting your day, but it was nice seeing you. Weâre really excited to work with you again.â Chan hurriedly runs off while carrying Minho away.
And just like that, Minho and Chan disappeared as fast as they appeared. Youâre absolutely confused with what just happened, but despite the confusion, youâre still flustered with what Minho did. You keep thinking about how he kissed your hand and then nearly kissed you.
You cup both your cheeks, crouching down and hiding your face. Minho is definitely unpredictable, but thatâs a quirk that you find charming. You canât wait to go back to work and see him again.
[End]
A/N: Thank you for reading this! This felt really rushed, so I hope this made any sense. :\ Anyways, thanks for spending some time to read this and have a good day! :)