Under a Blue Pen

Getting up to a lot

[pyrrhiccomedy]

based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”

It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.

Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.

Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.

Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.

Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.

Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.

[lioness--hart]

This is so accurate it’s physically painful.

[fozmeadows]

I love this post with my whole heart.

[yesterdaysprint]

Los Angeles Herald, California, December 20, 1908

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

don’t force your dogs to be steampunk

[powerburial]

it wasmt steampunk in 1908 it was just regular

[probablyangypolitics]

Tories: “Stop calling us scum, it’s really offensive and damaging!”

Me:

[weirddyke]

love is real and worth it and SO important to me it’s pretty much my entire political spiritual philosophical deal………you can be critical of how romantic love is commodified and dominated by heteronormative myths for sure but ppl out there like “love is fake” aren’t doing ANYTHING interesting or subversive……love is revolutionary bc the systems that oppress us are directly opposed to all kinds of love, interpersonal love and self love etc. they’re trying to drive it out of us. love as an action love as a choice love as something u cultivate and tend to is the best thing in the world and it’s at the absolute centre of my life

[i-am-evolution]

[liberalsarecool]

We should be subsidizing solar, not oil. The oil companies are 19th century dirty energy, totally dependent on taxpayer welfare. Let’s follow Germany’s leadership.

[slightmood]

[parkstone-international]

Artist Hank Schmidt travels to scenic locations only to paint the pattern on his own shirt.

[sixslugs]

chaotic neutral

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

haters will see you and be like, “w

[h1234567890-deactivated]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down

[somethingfangirly]

why not just clean it while the computer is shut down?

[wackd-archive]

while the computer is what now

[fondestsuggestion]

if i got to sleep in your arms every night i don’t know if i’d ever be tired again

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Say what you will about the Ewoks but they’re the only people in the galaxy who have handrails on their bridges and stairs.

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

The Empire calls them primitives but the Ewoks have OSHA regulations and the Empire doesn’t so who’s really more primitive here?

[underabluepen]

executive dysfunction: you need to do this thing

me: how?

executive dysfunction: idk have you tried sitting and feeling guilty about it?

[solarpunk-aesthetic]

Just imagine a world full of beautiful stained glass windows which also generate electricity…

[Oxford Photovoltaics]

[fartsandprayers]

[lord0fcalamity-deactivated20181]

what if god was one of us

[terushimasyuuji]

[anna-stronk-deactivated20180811]

Death battle

[rainnecassidy]

what the fuck, germany

[skrotchevo]