Modern AU Phantom of the Opera, but it's all modern people with the original Erik from eighteenwhatever who is immortal for extremely stupid reasons that are immediately glossed over in favor of subjecting him to the horrors of modern life.
For instance, the new theater owners are a pair of elder millennial lesbians that got in on bitcoin early and decided to buy the opera house* because why the hell not, and upon recciving his first letter demanding pay, write back:
"Great! Glad we don't have to hire a new art director because everyone who applied is a pretentious shithead. Come up to the office so we can set up a direct deposit."
Because honestly? The maniac in the basement that rants about inventive methods of homicide in french is like, only the eighth weirdest person in the house crew, never mind the freaks in the actual cast. Highlights include:
"Erik. My dude. You can't have live tigers on the stage. They're an endangered species and probably an OSHA violation."
"Who is this OSHA who dares dictate the how and what of MY theater? Do you fear them more than me, the Opera Ghost?"
"Its the new york state attorneys office, and yes. You'll only stab or hang me. They'll make me suffer. How about we put that baritone you didn't like in a tiger costume instead?"
Erik getting into twitter beef and his managers allowing it because you couldn't buy this kind of publicity.
Modern AU La Carlotta is played by Madonna, like in the Dick Tracy movie, but she's a parody of herself.
The Author Takes A Long And Very Blatant Pro-Union Ramble For Half A Chapter.
Erik Basementghost vs. CBT.
The Therapy technique, he's already familiar with and probably versed in the fetish from the 1800's. Modern psychotherapy though? Terrifying, please punch him in the dick instead.
Erik is old enough to remember at least reading about the original Alexander Hamilton and writes to Lin-manuel Miranda about the inaccuracy of "jefferson should have been eating macaroni and cheese every time he was on stage."
Erik having an enormous tantrum that he was not around during the Golden Age of Broadway. One of the managers goes down to his non-OSHA-compliant-former-subway-station he uses for an office and finds he's somehow acquired a twelve foot tall portrait of Lorenz Hart.
"My lost beloved from another time, I only learned of him far too late..."
"Weren't you alive then?"
"Yes, but alas, I was in the Atlantic for most of his career."
* it's not the paris opera house because I know fuck all about paris and because I feel like this extremely dumb AU is the sequel to this magnum opus: https://www.google.com/amp/s/muirin007.tumblr.com/post/190275380840/wait-wait-wait-have-i-not-told-you-guys-this/amp
So it's probably like, The Met, because that's the only american opera house I can think of at 2:30 AM.
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
annaxmalina
titsay
