Unequivocally Enthusiastic @unequivocallyenthusiastic - Tumblr Blog

(240907) DAY6 x MELT DOWN ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ENDING FAIRIES

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

assiraphales

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

assiraphales

I said what I said!

xavantina

#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi)

coffeedrgn87

It’s impossible to argue with anything above.

luntfontanne

Posters for National Theater of Korea's production of Macbeth, designed by Yuni Yoshida and photographed by Noh Juhan. [1][2]

memewhore

2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241

Woman murders man in broad daylight

theknightinslippers

ash-tree-eyes-deactivated202504

Can you imagine being Dracula on June 25th. CAN YOU IMAGINE.

You’ve just had a busy night. You’ve gone out and done unspeakable horrors to the local townsfolk, and you’re tired. So you stow away in your little chapel in your box of dirt for the day, making sure to keep the door locked so the solicitor you’re keeping prisoner can’t get in.

Then, later that day, despite the utter impossibility of it, you are disturbed BY THE VERY SOLICITOR PRISONER YOU LOCKED OUT, IN YOUR ROOM. How did he get here? What is he doing? The door was locked.

Surely, you think, he must have broken down the door somehow, or you forgot the key somewhere. You investigate. Everything is where it should be. Nothing is broken, the key is where you left it.

No. No, what actually happened is much worse. This little English solicitor, who has never up to this point displayed any particular strength of body, and has no supernatural abilities like you do, has CRAWLED DOWN THE SIDE OF YOUR CASTLE, HUNDREDS OF FEET ABOVE THE GROUND, FROM HIS ROOM RIGHT INTO YOURS. JUST FROM WATCHING YOU DO IT. AND HE MANAGED IT. HE’S SOMEHOW STILL IN ONE PIECE.

You, a horrific creature of the night, have an equal in wall climbing, and it is a regular human man with no more fucks to give and fuelled solely by hatred for you apparently.

Dracula should have been terrified of Jonathan from the start.

spiced-wine-fic

msspookypickles

"Indeed, when he applied to become an astronaut, he failed on the first attempt. Part of the test featured the famous Rorschach ink-blots psychiatric exam. “I leafed through a whole series of them, and then the last one was a blank sheet of paper, pure white, eight by 10,” he once recalled. “I was asked what I could see. And I said, ‘Well, of course, that’s 11 polar bears fornicating in a snow bank.’ And I could see the examiner’s eyes kind of tighten. He didn’t think that was funny.”"

flightyquinn

The examiner was, in fact, objectively incorrect.

depsidase

carnivalseb

PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair (the user is the issue here) Lithobraking Maneuver (our rocket stopped because it crashed into rocks)

anexperimentallife

Operator headspace problem (the user is a dumbass--we used this one a lot when I was a generator mechanic)

ralfmaximus

Loose Nut Behind the Wheel -- dumbass driver

Unintended Fauna Interaction -- fucker bit me

petzah394-deactivated20250503

I fucking love these special terms, especially the ones about the user being a fucking idiot

chelebelleslair

Chinese actress Fan Bingbing attending a party hosted by Brut and Nespresso on Friday May 19, 2023 in Cannes, France. The gown is designed by Vietnamese designer Chung Thanh Phong.

mapsontheweb

Frodo and Sam’s journey if it took place in the United States

a-book-of-creatures

Average trip to Florida

whetstonefires

we must take the ring to jacksonville

Floridor

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

what-even-is-thiss

Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.

Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.

what-even-is-thiss

Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.

what-even-is-thiss

Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now

He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.

thedupshadove

With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?

thedupshadove

See, I think that still works.

You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!

You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.

So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.

You should probably ask for a raise.

littlecofiegirl

marzipanandminutiae

(if anyone's wondering, the Grimms' version DOES specify that she aged in the coffin. I checked the original German- they say that A Long Time passed or similar, implication being that she's of marriageable age when awakened)

but I love this take on it so much

hydro-homies

Imagine being the only person alive who can say this

nevercure

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”