University Life Tips

[uni-life-tips]

Resume/Application/Interview Tips

My Resume Tip post is immensely popular, and after applying to jobs and taking in resumes, I've got a few more to share that's more than just what is on paper.

1) Treat applying for a job in-person as day 1. The way you present yourself when you come in to hand over a resume matters. I had one fellow that was literally dragged into our store by an older lady (I assume it was his mother). She literally had a vice grip on his upper arm, pulled him into the shop, and pulled out exactly one resume from a stack in a folder she had under the other arm and gave the kid the one resume and literally had to shove him forward to hand it over to me. I was willing to give them the benefit of doubt and assume the kid had anxiety issues or something. I smiled, greeted the kid, went to take his resume, gave it a once-over, and asked what I always do: "Is your availability on here?" Kid had already turned around and was making for the door and gave me a slack-jawed 'Hunh?'. So I elaborated, "is your availability on here? When would you be available for an interview or for shifts? Are you free to work evenings and weekends?" Rather than respond to me, the kid looks at the mother. She mouths "just say yes!" to him and he turns around, "Uh...yeah. Whatever." Kid makes for the door again and the mother calls out, "He is free ANYTIME! WHENEVER, WHEREVER!" The both spoke fluent English and had no discernable accents in their voices so the theory of the kid maybe not being a confident English speaker went out the window. I walked over to the back, intent on putting the resume in the manager's slot for paperwork and stuff. My coworker stopped me and asked me my impressions of the applicant (she saw what went down too). I explained that I honestly wasn't sure about this one because the applicant seemed completely unmotivated to apply for work and was literally pulled into the store by the woman. My coworker agreed and told me to make note of that on the resume 'cuz the boss cares about our impressions. Just then, our boss walked in and I handed the resume to them in-person and explained what had happened. The boss nodded but immediately dropped the resume into the recycling bin while taking the three resumes already in his inbox and sliding them into a folder. If it was an anxiety issue and the kid needed a support person, that support should have stayed outside the door. If you are applying in-person, treat it like your first shift because the staff and the employer are already taking notes to see whether or not they actually want you and your attitude around. Conducting yourself poorly during the application phase is a big red flag to employers and prospective coworkers.

2) Do not outsource the application/interview process. More than once, we had people dashing into our store claiming they were here for an interview. Boss arrives to conduct the interview and has the resume for this applicant already in-hand. That's when the person drops the ball: that they are interviewing on behalf of their spouse. Boss gets frustrated by these incidents. Similar to the above, the application/interview is basically day 1. It's the employer's chance to see you and whether or not you are a good fit for their establishment. We've had all manner of reasons: "Oh, my wife has anxiety so I'm going to interview on her behalf.", "My wife doesn't speak any English so I'll interview for her." "My husband wanted to stay home and watch football today so I came instead." "My husband lost his license so I'm the only one that can drive right now." "My spouse is...well...we're still trying to work out immigration...so they are still in another country but I want them to have a job when they arrive, so I'm here to interview for them." We're not supposed to discriminate based on language proficiency, immigration status, anxiety disorders, or whatever...but honestly, all of those things are reasons that they would not be able to do the work required at a simple fast-food shop. You need English language proficiency to take orders, to read and understand our menu, to understand when the customers want to customize their orders, etc. You won't have emotional support animals or people with you when you come to work. You will have to miss the big game and make arrangements to watch it later if you are scheduled to work on the day the game is on--cutting work simply because you'd rather do something else is a surefire way to get fired. All of these, "I'll do it on their behalf" applications never went anywhere. My boss was a kind person and would give them another chance. He would ask that the actual applicant come in and he would explain to them exactly why they were being passed over. "If you are the one looking for a job, you need to be the one to do the interview." He always told them.

3) Learn to compromise. While a consistent schedule has been proven to make life better for everyone (less tired employees, happier employees, fewer missed shifts due to confusion, etc.) employers just don't seem to want to get on-board with the idea. It costs them nothing to give their staff a consistent/set schedule. Their idea of "flexible" means around-the-clock availability. My idea of flexibility is that I'm willing to give up evenings/weekends and my days off when I can/when needed...but it shouldn't be an expectation. I shouldn't get penalized for not picking up the phone on my day off. I shouldn't get reduced hours because I didn't cover someone else's shift when they didn't show up. Workplaces that pull that crap aren't worth your time. However, as a newbie at fast food or retail you should open up your availability. For three months, at least, be willing to work evenings and weekends--all weekend if you must. After three months, they've invested a lot of time in training you so they shouldn't be able to just tell you that someone else can replace you. That's when you slowly scale back your availability. If you come out swinging during your interview and flatly say, "I don't do weekends" you're not likely to get a call back. If you say, "yes, but..." you aren't likely to get a call back. Compromise. Give them a couple of months of your time and then scale it back. Work is a priority, not your only priority...and the kinds of employers that don't respect that aren't worth your time.

4) Phrasing and buzzwords matter. In a lot of establishments, being granted a key to the place is a big deal--something reserved for supervisors and managers. In a luxury retail store I worked at, the keyholders were limited to the managers and maybe one or two supervisors out of 10 or so. "Keyholder-status" was a huge deal for that place. At a sandwich shop I worked at, I was given a key to the place simply because I opened the store a few times. Opening the store literally just meant I arrived an hour or so before we were open to customers and turned on all of the equipment as well as got some of the other day's tasks started early. Cleaning and reassembly of the fountain drinks machine had to be done before we could serve customers, turning on all of the hot stuff to bring it to temperature was another part of it. Yeah, the boss had to trust me and I had to prove that I wasn't there to steal stuff in order to be given the key and to hold onto it. "Keyholder status" at the sandwich shop just meant that I could be trusted to set up the store all by myself and not steal stuff. Thanks to that job though, I have "keyholder" written as part of my job description on my resume and plenty of other shops have reached out and offered me supervisor/manager/coordinator position just because "keyholder" is a buzzword for them. Don't lie about it, please, but if you were ever granted a key to the place you work, even if it wasn't a big deal at that one particular shop it could be to other places you apply to. Use the buzzword carefully. Phrasing and framing also matter. At the height of the pandemic reusable masks were in high demand all around. I have a sewing machine and my knowledge from High School Home Ec and stuff to go on and I watched a bunch of youtube tutorials and fine-tuned my own version of reusable masks. When sewing elastic became scarce due to increased demand, I switched to using ribbon ties instead of elastic loops. I sewed masks for my family and my friends...which doesn't seem like much of anything...but it is on my resume as "volunteer experience" because I donated my time to making masks for other people. I used the elastic shortage and resulting switch to ribbon as examples of creative problem solving. I didn't sew stuff as part of a recognized volunteer organization, but I still do have references. All of my friends that received masks from me are more than willing to be a reference if an employer asks for one for the mask-making initiative I spearheaded on a whim. Honestly, it's not different than babysitting experience on your resume, where your reference is likely going to be your client(s) rather than some major organization backing you. Another person I know created a group chat among their friends (and later at their workplace) solely for the purpose of consolidating orders for take out. The admin of the group (my friend) will put out a message once a week or so claiming they're going to order from this specific restaurant for lunch at a specific time, include the delivery menu, and then wait for 20-30 orders to flood in from other members. It was just something my friend started on a whim because they're a bit of a foodie and loved to try new restaurants and their coworkers kept commenting on how they always had interesting take-out. Thanks to the massive orders, it's become a community initiative they've been able to cite on their resume. They've managed to negotiate discounts with establishments because of the massive orders and they've brought the community closer at work for those that are a part of this take-out group. When the company/boss wants to put on catering, they go to this friend first and foremost to see which businesses to reach out to for the best deals or for specific types of food, or even to ask for opinions on which establishments deserve the patronage. A simple group chat ended up becoming a community initiative and having clout as such within the span of a couple of months. Look at your life and see what average, everyday things you do that could be rephrased into something awesome. Example: if you are like me and have non-English relatives that you occasionally help with forms/services/taxes/tech stuff...well, that could be considered volunteer translation work or whatever. There are actually studies being done into the unpaid labor that 2nd-generation immigrants do for their relatives, so it is something that is starting to be recognized as official volunteer experience instead of "just helping my dad" etc. The average person that employers see likely don't have to handle playing translator and unofficial mediator for legal terms and stuff that a 2nd gen immigrant has to do at home.

[funny-tik-toks]

[lee-e]

Not realistic he got a reply after submitting his résumé

[uni-life-tips]

Resume Tips

I've been handed quite a few resumes at work by people looking for a job. I always give them a quick read-through and show interest because I've been in that position. Job hunting sucks, even more so when the people you're handing your resume to aren't even going to pretend to be interested. I know that my workplace is not hiring and that my boss basically throws out the pile of resumes we leave for him in the bin at the end of the month--without really looking at them.

I've noticed quite a few things about the resumes we get handed at work and I decided to include some tips that I've picked up on. I have a few friends that have made it to manager or supervisor positions in their jobs, and some of them are also in charge of recruitment at their workplaces--basically, they're the ones that get to decide who to hire and when. They helped me workshop my resume time after time for different sorts of jobs and it's only after I got their help that I started getting calls back and interviews. Some of the tips that they gave me seem like common sense and at first I thought I was the only one that didn't know those things...but pretty much every resume I've seen at work has these 'simple' flaws in them.

1) Tailor your resume for the specific job you're going for. You don't need to have the company name in your cover letter, but having different resumes geared at fast-food and at desk-work (reception, secretary, desk-clerk, etc.) would definitely increase your chances of being taken seriously. Typing speed and/or what computer software you know how to use is not going to impress the fast-food manager. Get rid of that to make space for relevant information--customer service or experience serving food, for example. At a fast-food restaurant that I worked at the employees and even the manager would share comments on the resumes we'd see in the back. Whenever we saw "wpm" (words per minute) or "proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel" etc. we'd all have the same kind of reaction. "They must have been in the area, handing out resumes to the dental offices, clinics, and registries in the area and stopped by to throw one at us for good measure." None of the people who handed us those sorts of resumes were even considered for a call back.

2) Pen-marks look bad. If you have to scribble out your old phone number and write a new one in by hand as well as scribble over a typo, you're better off re-typing the entire resume and printing it off without the errors. Pen-marks don't look professional and the pen-edits tell the manager a lot about you. It tells them that you don't have as much attention-to-detail as your resume claims because you failed to spot the typos or whatever before going to print. It shows that you're unmotivated--especially if there are known ways to print stuff for free in the area, look into public libraries in your area and chances are that they provide some quota of free printing every month. A finalized, error-free resume is seen as the absolute least you could do if you want to be considered for a job. Overall, pen-marks and crumpled resumes look unprofessional. You're not just being judged by what you say about yourself in the resume, 'cuz that's your word about yourself--how you carry yourself and how the resume looks really says a lot about you.

3) One page, single-sided--maximum. The person hiring goes through dozens of resumes at the same time as yours. They're not going to want to flip through 3+ pages of stuff. If you have a lot of experience at different places that may be good, but see number 1 and only write down what's relevant to the position you're applying for. Example: if you're applying for fast-food positions include any experience you have working with food and don't waste page-space on your time as an AV person. Also, if you have had multiple employers, only include the latest ones--either within the last 5 years or only your latest two or three. You're 28 years old applying for a fast-food position because nowhere else is taking you seriously. Your high school volunteering experience isn't going to make you look good. It was over a decade ago and if you have to include it to pad your resume up to one page then that says a lot about you--you've had 10 years to get other experience, what were your contributions to society in those 10 years and why should the employer expect you to be motivated to work if you have not worked/volunteered in the last decade?

4) Purpose/intent/goal--again, tailor this to the specific job you're handing the resume into or nix it all together. "To use my skills in a professional setting", "Full-time job", "To earn experience that will get me closer to [insert dream job here]". They don't need to know your purpose in your resume. That's a "where do you see yourself in 10 years" question best left for the actual interview. When someone hiring for minimum-wage entry-level positions sees your aspirations they aren't thinking that they want to hire you--they're thinking, "this person clearly has aspirations for a different job. They are not a safe training investment because nothing guarantees that they'll stick around long enough to make the training investment worth it for me." Your dream job or your ideal position or whatever is something best left for the interview or for after you get hired--leave it off of your resume. You don't have to be all fake and talk like that minimum wage position is your dream job, but you have to present yourself as a safe training investment. It takes a while for anyone to learn the ropes in their new job. Official training may only take a week or two, but it'll probably take 3-6 months for anyone to get the hang of the position and start performing well. Any mistakes made in that time may cost the company money. If you piss off a customer because you're not familiar with the menu and can't answer their question, that's a lost customer. If you haven't gotten the hang of serving customers quickly then you're costing the company money because they could have served two customers in the time it took you to serve two. Above all, a lot of employers just want to know that they can earn back their training investment. Suppose it'll take you three months to get the hang of stuff and to stop making frequent mistakes--double the training investment for a ballpark of how long you'll have to be prepared to commit to the job for them to take you seriously. If it takes three months to develop the proper habits for the job, then you need to show the manager--starting with your resume--that you're willing to be there for at least six months. If your resume is clearly geared toward a different kind of job and you outright state your dream job to be something else then you're not a safe investment for them because you're clearly looking elsewhere.

5) Point form. Under each work-experience entry write up to 5 points that are relevant to the specific job you are applying for. Worked retail in a clothing store before and now you're applying to fast-food? Include time-management skills, organization of a workspace, task delegation, customer service, and any other transferable skills like training others in your area or key-holder status. This'll help you cram a lot of info onto one side of a page. The manager isn't looking to read anything in-depth--they're just going to skim your resume and if it looks like you're going to give them a return on the training investment and that you're a responsible person then their next step is probably locating your contact information to schedule an interview. Save the full sentences and elaboration (i.e. one specific time where your customer service skills stood out) for the cover letter. The first page of your resume should read like a table of contents of yourself--it's a sales ad. If they're interested in what customer service experience you have, they'll ask you more later. Don't shove it at them on the resume 'cuz that resume is just the table-of-contents. Include your contact information and if they're interested they know how to reach you.

Good luck! If you're looking for a job, I know it sucks. I've been in that position a lot and felt helpless a lot. Lots of summers went by with me unemployed between years in post-secondary because I went to university in a different city from my home city. Nobody wanted to hire someone for four months out of the year because the training investment alone wasn't being met. It sucks and it's depressing. Hang in there. Revising my resume after every rejection was my way of trying to keep hope. Each resume revision got better and better and I got more and more calls back the more I revised my resumes and tailored them for the specific positions I was applying for. I had a different resume for reception, a different one for service/wait-staff, and a different one for fast-food and I labeled them as such on my computer.

[uni-life-tips]

Encouragement for Mature Students

When I was in University I met a lot of older students--older than 25. A lot of the ones that weren't married were hesitant about trying to date at their age. There was some misguided notion in their heads that 'dating' was for the young and that they didn't belong at the University because they felt out of place for being old.

Post-secondary Education doesn't have an explicit age limit. Heck, education in general and the desire to learn stuff doesn't have an age limit. Dating and whatever that entails doesn't have an age-limit.

I actually think they had the advantage over us 'direct-from-high-school' folks. They had worked and gained work-experience in the years they chose not to pursue further education. They had the funds to start paying off their loans--if they took out student-loans at all. On top of that, they had thought long and hard about what degree they wanted to get rather than give into the pressure to go into post-secondary like we did. They knew what they wanted and what it would cost and they took it way more seriously than those of us that were forced into post-secondary by parental-pressure. The 'mature students' rarely ever had that indecisive moment where they would doubt everything they had worked on and try to switch majors. And in the dating department, they were usually more emotionally and mentally mature/stable. On top of that, they had the funds and experience to be awesome partners. They had life experience--not just in dating or work or whatever, but experience in taking care of themselves. They knew how to balance doing the laundry and cooking/finding themselves food. They knew how to keep gas in the car and how to coordinate their grocery trips to ensure they got errands done efficiently. Most of the time, of course.

I was a 'direct-from-high-school' post-secondary student who ended up dating another 'direct-from-high-school' guy. We were the same age and everything. Things didn't work out between us because we both had a lot of growing up to do and a lot of figuring out our lives to work on. We were 'growing up' in different ways and at different rates too. He was fortunate enough to live at home during post-secondary while my own home was hours away in another city. He got upset and frustrated over the fact that I used my weekends to catch up on laundry and meal-prep rather than spend the day with him. Apparently, it was proof that I wasn't invested in the relationship or that I was selfish for wanting to look after myself instead of spend time with him. Newsflash, Mr. Ex: unlike you, I didn't have my mother to do my laundry or pack my lunches. If I didn't have the luxury of taking care of myself, then I wouldn't have the capacities to take care of a partner. I called it quits because he kept on getting upset over the fact that he felt like I never made time for him. Yeah, that may have been true...but if I chose to neglect my own health and wellness--mainly laundry and meal-prep--for him then I would consider that an unhealthy relationship. A date isn't fun or worth it if I literally come home to no clean underwear and have to try to figure out which classes or study sessions to skip because I need a bare minimum of 2 hours free to stake out the laundry rooms and claim a machine to do my laundry.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's no shame in dating when you're older than 25 years of age...and that you're never too old for post-secondary. You may feel like you stand out like a sore-thumb when a majority of the other students are barely old enough to grow decent facial hair...but stick with it. Most of them aren't judging you on your age. Heck, if they're anything like my friends and I were, we admired the 'mature students'. We flocked to them and wanted to become study-buddies with them. We did it because they often had some good insights about the course material--stuff that someone our age wouldn't come up with (i.e. in an Economy class or something, hearing about recessions from people that were young adults/working when a major recession hit the economy made the material a little more 'real'). We did it because the mature students had way better time-management skills than we did. Sure, their life-obligations (i.e. work, sick kid) would mean they couldn't attend classes as often as they could have--but the trade off was usually that we'd supply them with notes and they'd buy us coffee or treat us to a meal or something. Win-win for everyone involved. They knew the good drinks at the bar and sometimes it was because they literally worked at the bar we were frequenting in their younger days. They knew where to get cheaper/better tasting food and were sometimes involved in the greater community outside of the university. Sometimes they had toddlers of their own and hearing stories about their kids or getting to watch home-videos of their kids doing something cute got us through some grueling study-sessions. The mature students understood the luxury and camaraderie of shared snacks for each study-session and were often 'adult' enough to know that healthy snacks would make us all feel much better than loading up on nothing but sugar, starch, and caffeine. Pot-luck study-sessions only became a thing with the mature students. When it was just us direct-from-high-school kids in a room we'd be lucky if someone brought a family-sized bag of chips to share. By fourth year and with a lot of tips from the mature students in our lives we all learned the wonders of shared snacks. Say each of us only had a candy bar--we learned the simple joy of breaking the candy bars into pieces and putting all of it in the middle of the table--suddenly everyone had access to five different types of candy and it felt like more than if we all just ate our own candy bars.

I graduated and I'm not back in the post-secondary game (yet). I'm trying to save up to go back for more schooling/certifications. By the time I go back I will be the mature student in the room and I'm going to bring to it what the mature students that helped me along in my undergrad shared with me. Shared snacks and looking out for each other is an amazing feeling. We all felt like crap and were all operating under far too little sleep--but those desperate all-night-study-sessions crying over a table full of snacks with four other people were some of the best times of my life (so far). They weren’t just the ‘mom’ friend, they were a friend and we all looked out for each other to the best of our abilities. They had a car and could offer trips to a grocer and some healthy food while I could offer notes and the initiative to plan study sessions or whatever. I lived on-campus and so I’d be the one to get to the booked-room early to kick out the people occupying the space we’d booked for our study sessions. Apparently, the social anxiety of kicking people out was daunting for some of the other people I knew so I bit the bullet on that one and they’d bring snacks or an extra cup of coffee for me in thanks.

Mature students and people over 22-25 years of age--you are valid. You aren't out-of-place at the post-secondary institution or in the dating game or whatever. Take up 'space', be yourselves, and show everyone what you have to offer. People aren't judging you as much as you might think (based on your age), and those that are going to make a big stink out of you being older and therefore out of place need to grow up. You have nothing to be ashamed of. The 18-22 year old that's switched majors five times in three years and still doesn't know what they're doing has no right to judge you. Likewise, they don't deserve to be judged either...of course. Hold your head up high. Getting a post-secondary degree is awesome regardless if you're 22, 32, or 82 or whatever.

[uni-life-tips]

Lock Up and Remember Your Keys

his isn't just a Uni-tip or anything...but more of a life-tip. Learn to lock-up your place before bed and learn to carry your keys with you whenever you're out of your place.

Growing up I remember that my parents were always super paranoid about locking up our house before bed every night. They would literally walk around the house, checking all of the doors and windows before they went to bed every single night. I remember a time when my sibling and I slept in our parent's room with them ('cuz our rooms were being used by guests or something) and I remember our family settling into bed for the night only to have my mom bolt out of bed beside me and run down the stairs. I followed her to see what was going on and it turns out she ran downstairs to check to see if she had locked the door to the garage...which she had already done previously. She then wandered over to the kitchen and shut the window tightly before going back to bed. Neither one of my parents ever told us about the nightly ritual of checking all of the doors and windows, but it was something I picked up on from watching them do it every night.

When I went away for University I realized that locking the door behind me was a habit I had adopted from my parents. It was a habit that didn't make me very popular with my roommates. We lived in a co-ed dorm complex that heavily emphasized an open-door policy to "make new friends". My roommates were just like me, fresh out of high school and looking forward to our first time living away from our parents. That was where our similarities ended. I was doing my best to be a responsible adult and that included ensuring the door to my living space was always closed and locked. Anyone that wanted to come in either had their own key or would knock and wait to be invited in. This mentality made me very unpopular and my roommates consistently complained about me to the Housing Authority, claiming that I was maliciously locking them out of our suite every night. My defense was simple: "you have a key--use it" but they would whine and scream that carrying their keys around 24/7 was inconvenient for them and they demanded that I stop closing/locking my doors. I moved out partway through the year, paying a premium to live with fewer/no roommates. I couldn't live with people that refused to lock-up or carry their keys around.

A little over a month after I moved out a letter from the Housing Authority and the Head of the University and whatever circulated. Apparently, there had been a sexual assault on campus-grounds in the dorms and the adult authorities were now insisting that people should be locking their doors and that the open-door policy was ridiculous. Apparenty, a girl in the dorm complex I had moved out of had decided to take a nap in her room--with her door open. A male visitor of another person living on the same floor had walked by on their way out and taken liberties with the napping girl. Note, I'm not saying that the girl deserved it for not locking up in this post--the asshole that chose to take liberties with anyone without consent is clearly the one in the wrong here. I'm not condemning the girl for opting to follow the open-door policy and I'm not saying or implying that she deserved what happened to her because she didn't lock up. Please don't turn it into that sort of debate in my inbox.

Over my years in University I eventually befriended some of the other people that lived on that floor that I had moved out of in the middle of my 1st year. Everyone I had encountered from back then acted oddly. A lot of the ones that had complained about me for being responsible refused to look me in the eye and a handful of the ones that were neutral or friendly toward me when I lived there actually asked me to move back in to "fix" things. I still don't know all the details of what happened after I left, but I've been told that "the place went to shit" after I left.

My roommates were always the loud sort and I was always telling them to turn their music down or to take their partying elsewhere because I lived there too and I was studying in my room etc. Without me there, the partying and loudness was just one problem. The three roommates I left were also HUGE proponents of the open door policy. One even had keys made for no less than 3 of her flings--so 3 random people living elsewhere had keys to the floor, keys to the suite and her bedroom, and basically access to all of the common areas. Pots, pans, and toilet paper constantly went missing from common areas--apparently squirreled away by my former roommate's flings from other floors/dorm complexes.

I have had friends living off-campus tell me about how they've had their place broken into. One of my friends never used to bother locking up before bed until they woke up to find a drunk stranger raiding their fridge at 4 in the morning. Another begged me to devise a mechanism to put a padlock on their fridge to prevent a frequent (live-in) partner of their roommate's from stealing everyone's food. Locking up would have solved a lot of their problems.

Over the years I established 2 conscious habits for myself: 1) Always lock the doors and windows especially if i was going to sleep or going to be away from my place for a while. The people that belong there have a key and anyone else can knock and ask for permission to come in. 2) I always had my key on my person. I'd seen far too many people shivering under a bath-towel (and nothing else) during fire evacuations/drills and I knew I didn't want to be the unfortunate soul that had to run around in naught but a towel, trying to track down the dorm head to let them into their room afterwards. Lock-out fees are expensive and if I had $25 to blow on lock-outs I would have used it to buy myself better food.

Checking doors and windows before leaving or sleeping is a good habit to get into. Carrying your keys at all times is also a good habit.

[uni-life-tips]

Thank you for that "Dreams are what matter" post because whenever the school trauma and stress feelings come again every once in a while, i can calm down reading what you wrote. Is so soothing. Is so comforting. It is The Best. Thank you. Thank you for that post.

Wow. I wasn't expecting feedback from this sideblog. Uni-life-tips was basically created as a way for me to vent and rant over stuff I was feeling regarding academics. From helpful tips I didn't want to forget to venting about the frustration of things at times. Also to try to write myself into hope. A lot of the "there's hope--Hell Week has to end soon" types of posts were written in the middle of myself feeling like I was drowning or that this year's stress-load would be the one to take my life etc.

Whomever you are, thank you for the lovely feedback. I'm glad that my work has managed to have a positive impact on at least one person in the world. Stress sucks. The pressure other people put on us in regards to our grades or our pay or whatnot really sucks. It sucks that at times our worth as human beings seems to be boiled down to our grades or our salary. Often times, I need to remind myself that I am not my grade or my pay or whatever else people use to judge. I am a human being. Getting a D in a class or failing my math exam doesn't mean I deserve to get yelled at (by family), or humiliated (by friends of my parents).

A part of the reason I created this blog was out of desperation to vent--to shout to the people that are basing my worth as a human being on my grades or my salary that I am more than that...that what they are doing is damaging. My failed diploma exam doesn't tell you that I can type faster than anyone else the room. That failed diploma exam doesn't tell you that I've got a decent-sized following on Ao3. That failed exam doesn't tell you that I can make desserts/coffee better than average. I am not my grades. I am not my salary or employment status. I am a human being...and if your idea of the worth of a human being is simple enough that it can be captured by an arbitrary exam...I feel sorry for you. If human intelligence were simple enough to be captured entirely in those arbitrary exams...well...then the human race wouldn't be intelligent enough to warrant study...if it could even conduct study at that point with such a crude intelligence measure.

Whoever you are, anon, I hope you are doing well. I hope that you don't give in to what other people try to tell you is your worth. It's not your math mark. It's not your GPA. It's not your annual salary. You are more than that and those other people can only take away your passion for writing, for fandoms, for sport(s), or for whatever you're into if you let them take that away from you. "I'm mathamatically challenged...but I can write some pretty amazing shix. Oi, Mrs."OPfailedmathandthereforefailedlife"--can you type as fast as I can? Can you string words together like I can? No? Well...in that case you should be grateful that school systems are grading the stuff you're concerned about and picking on me for rather than on typing speed or on one's ability to generate a decent following on Ao3...because if society had chosen other stuff to grade on and ridicule people for, you’d feel like shix too."

[roseband]

….when is too early to ask profs for grad school rec letters when the apps aren’t due until january 

[uni-life-tips]

Disclaimer: I have never considered grad-school myself and thus have never gone through this process. I have had friends who went that route and I was often in the room whenever they were trying to do something on the grad-school front. They’d ask me to stay with them to act as moral support after classes when they wanted to speak with the professor and one-on-one seemed way too intimidating.

Most of the grad-school-hopefuls I knew from Uni would go to professors they had a rapport with and explain their situation as it was happening. "I'm looking into applying for grad-school and I was hoping you could write me a rec letter." Or even just, "I'm thinking of applying to grad-school/getting my Masters/PhD...I don't even know where to start. I'm trying to decide between two institutions and I'm just really lost/overwhelmed. Can you help me?"

Most of the times that I saw this conversation going down with my friends and professors there wasn't a 'too early' about it. The students that were interested in grad-school pretty much started the conversation as soon as they made up their minds on applying to grad-school. "The sooner the better", I heard one of my professors saying to a friend of mine when she floated the same "is it too early to ask for a rec letter" question to them. Rec-letters take time and the professor has a lot on their plate as it is with their own research, board/department meetings, and having to run the course they are teaching. Not to mention their own lives outside of academia--they have families, they have errands to run etc. Let them know as soon as you do that you need a rec-letter and they'll have plenty of time to work with to to give you a good one.

The same professor that said “the sooner the better” was the same one I heard this from: it’s a real peeve when a would-be-grad-student doesn’t take initiative. He hated it when a grad-hopeful would show up a week before they needed a rec-letter and just casually ask for one. He reassured my nervous friend that there’s no such thing as “too early” when it comes to rec-letters. Ask and let the professor pencil it into their busy schedules. You give off a better impression if you show that you’re invested in this and you value the professor’s time. Stay on top of your applications and what you need--let people know the second you know.

The professors I saw having this sort of conversation with students were often happy for the student in question and were very helpful. They're professors now, but that doesn't make them unfeeling, stuffy people in suits. If they're teaching, odds are they went through a similar process and will be sympathetic to anybody aspiring to go to grad-school.

Take the initiative and ask for a rec-letter and work with the professors that agree to it. The worst that could happen is that they say no/don't have enough time to write one for you. Float the idea to them and if it's too early then it's not the end of the world. They see that you're committed to this...and it's better to be thinking about this stuff early. It gives a better impression if you're on this now and "too early" than if you show up and ask for a rec-letter a week before you need one.

To my knowledge, nothing says you have to ask for the recommendation on-on-one with your professor. Bring a friend if that helps. The worst that could happen is that they say ‘no’. “Too early”--nah...they might not be able to get a rec-letter to you immediately, but it’s never too early to let them know you need one from them.

Good luck!

[uni-life-tips]

5 Tips for your 1st Job

I've beening a lot of posts about people gushing about landing their first ever job or mentioning how badly their legs ache from work and all that. I got a few things to put out there after seeing all that.

1) Congrats on landing a job--regardless if it's your 1st or your 30th or whatever. Regardless of whatever job it is, you've got something to be proud of. It's hard to find work nowadays and a lot of good people are struggling to make ends meet and remain employed with economies the way they are now. Ultimately, having a source of income--especially a steady and dependable one--for any period of time is an amazing feeling. Be proud of yourself and don't let anyone bring you down if they try to make you feel bad with phrases like 'under-employed', 'minimum wage', 'blue-collar work', or 'part-time' or whatever. If you've got a steady source of income for the foreseeable future that's something to be proud of right now and don't let anyone bring you down for it. It doesn't matter if they make more than you or have a 'career' or even if they're your role model. They're not you, they're not living in your shoes--and they have no right to judge or snub their noses at whatever it is you do.

2) Almost hand-in-hand with the above...take pride in your job--whatever it is. Please be accountable and make it a priority in your life. Skipping work 'cuz you don't like wherever you're stationed to work or because you'd rather be doing other stuff isn't cool. Your co-workers are going to have to pay for that sort of decision. Someone is going to be called in or have to stay longer to cover your shift. That means that someone's plan to sleep-in or cook a decent meal or go on a date will be ruined if you decide to play hooky. Even if you're doing it to spite a less-than-desirable manager please know that you're hurting your fellow employee with this sort of behavior--the manager isn't going to be as hurt by your actions as you think they're going to be. Show up on-time or at least give ample notice if/when you need to ditch (unless it's an emergency). Please be kind to your co-workers. It's much more enjoyable for everyone if you can chat and joke around with your co-workers instead of sullen silence or acting all cut-throat or whatever. Gossiping about each other is also in poor taste. You don't have to be buddy-buddy with your co-workers...but if you're on-shift together then at least be civil if not friendly.

3) About aching feet/legs...it usually comes with the territory if you're working retail or fast-food or anything else that requires you to stand and/or walk around all day. See if your employer can get better mats for the workspace. I've found that the thick ones with holes in them are head-and-shoulders above the solid-black flat ones...if that makes sense. Also, invest in shoe-inserts for comfort. They're kind of pricey but not having sore heels is definitely worth an hour or three of my paycheck...I think. I'd suggest not buying the cheap ones or the ones that only cover half the sole...get the full-sole insert 'cuz the smaller/shorter ones are going to slide around and make things worse. Also, cheaper ones wear out faster or otherwise end up really uncomfortable. Make sure you are wearing shoes that fit if you want to avoid blisters. When resting (on-break, or sleeping) try to elevate your feet. When I started my first retail job I found that sleeping with my feet propped up on some rolled up blankets/pillows gave me immense relief in the morning. Soaking your legs/feet in hot water is also a good way for some relief. And using a pumice stone for skin build-up is heavenly. Seriously, pamper your feet. Along the same lines, if your job is the type that requires a lot of sitting and inactivity, remember to stretch. I know more than enough people with major back problems because they sit for 5+ hours a day. Seriously--set an alarm to go off on your phone every hour as a reminder to stand up and stretch properly before continuing your work. No amount of pay or “work ethic recognition” is worth the chronic aches and pains that come with the job. Prevent back problems and don’t bank on the whole “eh, I’ll just find a good chiropractor”--3 minutes of stretching and moving about every hour will save you a bunch of money, a bunch of time, and a heck of a lot of pain and grief.

4) Know your rights. The government in your area should have a worker/employer rights and obligations thing. Read up on that. It often includes things like how many minutes of rest (breaks) are required for how many hours of work. E.g. Lets say you have an 8 hour shift and your manager makes you go on your break 2 hours into the shift...that would mean you're working for another 5.5-6 hours after your break. Check your worker's rights--it's possible that legally, you're entitled to some form of break for every 4 straight hours of work. Decide for yourself if you're going to bring up such things with your manager(s) if conflicts arise.

5) Track your hours. I can't stress this one enough. Don't just assume that your workplace/manager(s) are good people that will always give you your full pay every pay-period. Me and my friends have experienced many pay-periods where we were short-changed on pay. We track our hours--we know exactly how many hours and dollars should be recorded on our paystub/paycheck. Check and compare. Invest in some sort of calendar where you can record your hours worked and know the exact number of hours/pay you are expecting each pay-period. A lot of the time, it’s an accident. The manager mis-counted or forgot that we took on an extra shift within that pay-period. Often times, it’s an honest mistake...but be wary about managers that seem to make these mistakes often, or the ones that will cut your hours as ‘punishment’ for confronting them about the short-change. You are entitled to your pay. Even if you love your job, it’s still a job and you deserve to be paid for every hour you put in.

[uni-life-tips]

Extra! Extra!

Living away from home for University, especially in another city, you'll eventually amass a lot of stuff. Bedding, bathroom supplies, kitchen equipment, etc.

Bringing the one set of bedding back and forth every time you visit home isn't very practical. If you travel home buy bus or plane or carpool, there isn't always space for you to bring your bedding. If you're lucky enough to drive and own your own car you might not want for space and can fit the bedding into your car, but there's still the hassle of setting up the bedding at home and when you get back to University and at that point you're probably exhausted. Also, you may make friends that live in your hometown and would pay for gas if you ferried them back home too. Sharing the ride, especially if it's a long one, is also pretty nice if you like the socialization and maybe want to split the driving-time between friends. There's not going to be a lot of room if you want to fit people and their luggage in one car. Pro-tip: visit a thrift-shop for extra bedding. It's cheap, it gets the job done, and you can donate it, pawn it off, or sell it to someone else when you're done university. In my final year of University, I moved into a new place/dorm room. I brought my usual set of bedding but come night-time I realized there was a problem: the side of the building I had moved into never saw sunlight and because of that it was a HUGE change in temperature when night fell. When I lived on the sunny side of the dorm complex my bedding held up and got the job done...but on the shady side of the building I spent many nights curled up like a shrimp with my teeth chattering all night. A new, Queen-sized duvet would have cost anywhere from $40-$70 depending on quality and where I bought it from. I went to a thrift store and got a Queen-sized duvet for $7 and nights in the dorm became more bearable.

In first year, if you're on some mealplan, you probably don't need a lot of kitchen stuff. Your parents may start you out with one frying pan and one pot from home and that serves you well enough in 1st year--especially if you eat out a lot to make good on your mealplan. Eating out is expensive and in the upper years you're probably not going to have the money to eat out a lot and are going to have to learn how to budget for groceries and cook for yourself. That one frying pan and one pot probably aren't going to be enough anymore--especially when you barely have time to do dishes twice a week during midterm season. You're probably going to be packing meals more and amassing a bunch of food-storage containers (once again, check thrift shops if you want to save).

Keep a good inventory of these extra things you invest in. When you get to your final semester, see what you can keep and what will just end up collecting dust and cluttering the house if you were to bring it home. Figure out how to deal with the extra stuff before it becomes a problem. From experience, my room at home made me look like a hoarder between semesters because I had to store 2 sets of everything--one for home and one waiting for University. Renting a storage unit in the city of your university isn't always feasible, and holding onto a place for 4 years while only living there 8 months out of the year isn't aways possible. Keep a list of things you know you won't need at home and figure out how to get rid of them responsibly before you move back home. If you invested in it as a student then odds are that there's another student somewhere that's willing to take it off your hands. Have a "garage sale" of the stuff you don't want and sell things off for cheap. You get some money back and someone else gets something to make their university life easier.

[uni-life-tips]

Grades aren’t what matter; Dreams are what matter

I've been thinking back on High School a lot recently, after graduating from Post-Secondary.

I still remember the morning of my Math 30 diploma. I remember sitting on a bench in the foyer of my school, waiting for us to be let into the exam room. I remember sitting there and thinking, "Nobody will stop me if I were to run--right now."

I spent the night before the exam wondering if I should kill myself. I was that terrified of the Math 30 exam. I was trying to weigh my options: 1) Not take the exam and fail at life. 2) Take the exam, fail it, and still fail at life. I spent the whole night in tears rather than getting the recommended hours of sleep. Not like sleeping a full night would have prevented me from completely blanking on the exam.

I was remembering all of that tonight. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of dread in the hours before the Math 30 exam. I remember truly believing that if I failed Math 30 my life was over. All I could think was that my parents would forever be disappointed in me, I'd be barred from post-secondary, and I'd have no future whatsoever. I truly thought failing Math 30 was a death-sentence that would doom me to living life on the streets of downtown, being a homeless bum because I was too dumb to pass Math 30 and math was essential to life.

That was about seven years ago. I'm still here. I graduated from a post-secondary institution. I don't have a career yet...but I have a life and I have aspirations for a field I want to get into that will require more education (and thus more funds...funds are the step I'm on now).

I was thinking back on that Math 30 exam. I don't remember my exact grades. I know there was a 55 or a 54 and a 46 or something. I think I got a 40-something% on the diploma exam alone, but with my 60-something class-average I managed to pass overall with a 54% or something. I don't remember the exact numbers and nobody but some nosey, gossipy, boastful, vindictive housewives/friends of my parents have cared (and they don't matter). Just like that--those number don't matter and haven't mattered for years now. The anxiety of that day is still fresh in my mind though.

The amount of tears I shed over my grades in math would probably be enough to drown myself in if I had managed to collect them all. It'd be a really shallow bowl of tears...but it would have been enough.

The grades don't matter...but what about that anxiety? What about all of the pain the students went through? While we were living through High School, everyone around us made a big deal of our grades and how we'd do on that exam. Parents threatened to disown their kids if they brought home another bad grade. Teachers ridiculed students for getting less-than-stellar grades. Students made fun of each other when they compared their marks. Those of us on the "wrong" side of the bell-curve genuinely wanted to die. It hurt beyond words.

What was the point of all that? Seven years later, am I just supposed to forget that I wanted to die? That I was terrified enough of that exam to wet myself? Or that I watched a classmate hurl into a trash-can going into the exam because they were so damned anxious they couldn't keep it down? People kept saying that once you were accepted into a post-secondary institution your high school grades wouldn't ever matter again. Awesome...so what about the trauma? What about how we were made to feel that our fates would be decided in that three hour exam? What about those of us that still wake up in a cold sweat years later because we were dreaming about sitting in those uncomfortable desks crammed into the gym?

For anyone reading this that is currently going through High School or whatever, please try to relax. Your worth has nothing to do with that damned "mandatory" course or test or whatever. If you've got your heart set on a mathematics career, but you do less-than-stellar in Math 30, it's not the end of the world. I didn't know how to properly study or apply myself in High School. That was something I had to figure out through experimentation during the first three years of University. In first year I thought "studying" meant locking oneself in one's dorm room and reading the textbook. In second year I thought writing out notes by-hand was the way to go and I spent hours and hours writing my right arm sore...only to realize after the exam that all I had done was re-write the powerpoints and textbook in point-form. In year three I learned I couldn't focus properly while locked in my own room. There were too many temptations to spend hours on youtube, or take a nap, or cook something. I found out in third year that I focus/apply myself best when I settle down with the material in a crowded location (e.g. the cafeteria, a fast-food restaurant) and plug my headphones in, listening to ambient noise (rain noises, white-noise, slow instrumental music, etc.). I couldn't do that in High School. There were no fast-food joints near enough to my house or school to do that; my parents were the sheltering type and would freak out if we went anywhere near the doors and windows.

My grades and academic performance in University were supposed to matter more than High School. And yet, I wasn't nearly as anxious over my University stress-load as I was for that Math 30 exam. I broke down a few times in University. I had a few panic-attacks. I developed stress/tension headaches. I got anxiety so bad that some nights I wouldn't sleep, I'd forget to eat, and I'd cry in the shower every night for weeks at a time. There were weeks where I forgot how to hold a pencil or write my own name because I was stressing over a typed-out research paper I had to hand in within a week. Despite all of that, I look back on my University days fondly where I still cry over Math 30. University was hard...but it was enjoyable. Math 30 felt like a dead-end.

I remember how much Math 30 hurt. I remember how scared I was seven years after it went down. That is not education. That is not how High School should go. We shouldn't be putting so much pressure on anyone--especially high school kids. The Diploma exam is just like any other exam they've taken in their lives--the only difference being that it's cumulative. Stop psyching them out. We all know that getting anxious over something impacts performance negatively...so why are we amping up the diploma exams like they're the be-all-end-all of life? As though there is no life if one fails the exam?

Anyone out there that's going through this, regardless of your level of schooling, your feelings are valid. Your fears are valid. Your anxiety is valid. It feels like the biggest damned thing in your life right now with a million repercussions. I'm not trying to downplay how it feels to you in that moment because I remember it vividly. I want you to know that when you get over this--and you will, because the exam has a set end-time. When it's all over it's just another thing you did. In my memory, the diploma exam was just like any of the other unit exams I did poorly in. Everyone around me was treating it like some great decider or that it was somehow different. It was just an exam. It was just ink on paper. Take it, get it over with, and don't let it weigh on your mind when you walk out of that exam room. Regardless of how you did on it, regardless if you even tried--the exam will end and you will be the one left standing. To my knowledge, the standardized tests are only kept for up to 5 years before they are shreded/incinerated or whatever (I heard something like that when I was in an Education degree...originally trying to become a High School Social Studies teacher). It's ben seven years since my Math 30 diploma exam...I'm pretty sure my exam has been cremated. I'm still alive. Now...if someone would like to point me in the direction of the grave of exams, I'd like to tap-dance on the SOB that still gives me lingering anxiety.

Anyone out there going through something like this: what matters is what you want to do. If you've got your heart set on a mathematics career but you failed Math 30, spend a while figuring out how you learn best. Hire a tutor. Go to tutorials. Youtube how to do certain questions or how to use certain formulas. Figure out how you learn best. Practice. What matters isn't the grade on an exam; what matters is what you are passionate about, what you want to do in life, and what the steps are to reaching that goal. It's not the damned exam that matters, but what your next step is.

Good luck!

[iamoutofideas]

sorry mate I can’t talk right now I’m being chased by a lit trail of gunpowder

[uni-life-tips]

Broaden Your Search

Does anyone else ever feel like this sometimes: where you're applying for jobs and feel like your only options are standard retail or fast-food? Whether it’s just for a summer-job or for something more long-term after graduation...do you ever feel like your degree was a waste of time and money? Do you regret your decision to further your education? Ever feel like if you had started working at McD’s in High School you could have probably risen to supervisor/manager/team-lead in the time it took you to get your degree? It’s a nasty feeling.

A friend of mine recently graduated university with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. Everyone around her--other Sociology majors, her TAs and professors, her significant other, and her family and home community--all convinced her of the same thing: a Sociology degree is useless on its own.

Her 4+ years were written off as a 'useless degree' because it wasn't directly applicable to jobs like how BioChemistry is seemingly linked to something in the medical field or how a music degree could have more than qualified her to give piano lessons or something (according to the people around her). She started believing everyone and even said it herself that Sociology is only marketable if you are a graduate student employed by a University, or a PhD employed by a University, or working for the government doing statistical analysis and even then they look for graduate students and not undergrads like herself.

She became depressed that she had wasted 4+ years of her life and she became super anxious about applying for a job anywhere. She threw out at least 20 resumes to various entry-level retail positions and didn't get a single call back. She kept thinking "I'm worse-off than some 16-year-old trying to get that same job manning the deep-fryer. The company's going to hire the 16-year old over me because they'll seemingly work for less pay because they don't have a degree next to their name" etc.

For anyone in a position like my friend where you think your degree is useless or that you've wasted time 'cuz you're just applying to standard retail jobs: broaden your search and don't give up.

This friend of mine found new hope when she browsed through potential jobs that weren't standard retail. Her Sociology degree would come in handy working as an analyst for charitable companies, not-for-profits, etc. in her town. Registry Clerks (the people that handle issuing driver's licenses, etc.) don't require a specific degree--my friend looked and found out that graduation from high school was the minimum requirement to apply to work at her nearby Registry. Working as a receptionist for an optician or an optical lenses store was another thing she found. It may have been similar to retail/basically retail, but the difference between working at a glasses store and her old job in a clothing/home-goods store was this: the glasses store had chairs--if she were to ring someone up, fill in insurance information, or just be a receptionist she'd get to sit in a chair working on a computer for a bit rather than on her feet being yelled at by managers and customers alike because "the customer is always right".

She reached out to her friends--some of whom were already working and had been for years. They helped her re-vamp her resume and tailor it to the specific kind of jobs she was looking for. They helped her by mentioning places they knew that were still hiring. 

Working at kiosk in a mall is still bomb. There’s AC, there’s plenty of stuff to look at, there’s a food court if you forget to pack lunch, and depending on your kiosk you may be allowed to be on your phone or reading a book if there are no customers. Also, for those with allergies, most malls (at least in the West) tend to have good air-filtration systems. If they have a place that puts screen protectors on mobile devices odds are that the air in the mall is mostly dust-free.

In the end, her Sociology degree shows that she knows how to do research, she’s self-disciplined/motivated etc. Based on my own experiences in retail, I’ve noticed that it’s mostly the 16-19-aged crowd that doesn’t last very long in retail. That was the age-group that would call-in-”sick” when they were scheduled to work an area of the store they didn’t like. They were the ones that would take their breaks whenever they wanted rather than following the printed schedule. They were the ones that didn’t really care about the job, the other employees, or minding their language in the store. The older crowd tends to have more riding on the job than the high schooler. They’ve got more bills and debts to pay than the high schooler (usually). Post-secondary education is a choice. It’s an expensive choice, but you don’t make it through post-secondary if you don’t choose to apply yourself. It shows that my friend is dedicated. Even if her parents forced her to go to post-secondary, pursuing a degree in something specialized was all her. Her GPA was all her. Upper-year courses are no joke. You don’t pass if you aren’t self-motivated enough to buckle-down and do well. I don’t mean to say that all high-schoolers are unmotivated--there are plenty who are. It’s just that from my experience, it was rare to see a 20+ year-old pulling the kind of things the high-school crowd did. 

Look into the jobs you are interested in. Don't let yourself think "I'm not qualified" before you've even looked at their hiring spiel. If there's nothing major barring you from applying to the place, apply. If you're missing something like First Aid Training or a Police Record Check it's likely that the company will find a way to subsidize that certification for you if they are interested in hiring you. Having it is an asset ‘cuz the company doesn’t have to pay for it, but if you don’t have it then don’t sweat it. “An asset” doesn’t mean it’s a requirement, so you are free to apply and if nobody with that certification applies then you might at least get a call back. Those certifications are pretty pricey and it's usually the employer's job to foot (most of) the bill for those. Don't pigeon-hole yourself into thinking that working at "the customer is always right" shops is all that is in store for you. Your degree may not be directly marketable, but if you don't apply at all you'll never know if they'll hire you or not. Maybe you're not their first choice, but if you're the only applicant or the only worthy-applicant then they'll help you get what you need to become their new hire.

Even if your degree isn’t directly applicable to the job, it still shows something about you that a high-school applicant doesn’t have. It says something about you, something the high-schooler has to prove through their work there...and that’s not always a chance the employer is willing to take. 

Good luck, everyone, especially new graduates who are feeling lost and depressed. Hang in there.

[uni-life-tips]

Tackling Unproductivity

It's okay to feel unproductive and useless etc.

As a student there are going to be days where it feels like you just can't do anything right. You start the day by spilling your coffee all over something important, you're late to class or go to the wrong room or get all the way there only to hear that class is cancelled and you could/should have slept in etc. Most of all, there are going to be days where you set out to be productive and get your homework done...and none of that happens and you feel useless.

This happens to everyone and getting frustrated at yourself isn't going to do you any favors.

In most of my upper-year semesters this happened often. I'd get out from my last class of the week and tell myself I'm totally going to be productive. I make a list of all the assignments and readings I have to complete and prioritize them. Then I get home and think "I've been in-class all week. Time to relax. I'll get started on that list bright and early tomorrow morning". Then I start watching a movie or something and I can't enjoy it 'cuz I'm constantly thinking "hey...you need to do your homework". So I end up trying to do my homework (failing due to lack of motivation) and I end up just refreshing Youtube about 50+ times (I wish I were exaggerating) and browsing the "Recommended" videos for about 4 hours. Again, I wish I were exaggerating but this is literally how my days are in Uni and I hate it.

We've been discussing webpage designs in some of my classes and we've learned that webpages with endless scrolling or pages that show you something new each time you refresh are running on game/gambling theories. People get addicted to the chance of something interesting happening with the next one. If you just keep scrolling you'll eventually find something interesting; if I just refresh Youtube again I'll find something interesting. Sound's kinda harmless...right? Well, replace "refresh" with "put in another quarter" and "Youtube" with "slot machine". Ta-Dah! This is how web-pages capitalize on addictive personalities and whatever else. This is why it's so freaking hard for me to just get off of Youtube and be productive. Next thing I know it's Monday, I've got to get to class, I have done absolutely none of my assignments or readings, but I now know how to wash and butcher 20 different fish for sashimi...as if I'm going to be able to get a fish on a student-budget living inland.

I've had entire weeks/months of this. This is where "good stress" comes in. I wouldn't have finished a draft of my paper if the deadline weren't 9 hours from the time I started. Yeah, I was supposed to start a month ago but I gave into the trap of constantly refreshing Youtube.

There's no easy answer and relying on deadlines to light a fire under your ass doesn't always work out and it's a horrible strategy. My strategies might not work for you, but if you're willing to read on then you'll find some of the ways I've tried that get me to be somewhat productive:

1) Get out of your room. Being alone in your room gives you the freedom to goof-off or go online. Your gaming systems are probably there. Your art-supplies, the bed, etc. Don't sit in a room full of temptations and expect that you won't be tempted to do something fun rather than study. If you don't need the internet or your computer or whatever else for a particular part of your academic work (e.g. readings either for a class or for a paper) then take what you need, leave everything else, and find somewhere else with fewer distractions to do the thing and don't let yourself go home until you finish it. It could be somewhere as close as your dining room table, or outside of your living area entirely: Univerity library, a food court, a random area where you can sit and be alone with your readings etc. Personally, I tend to go to foodcourts or fast-food joints with self-serve soft-drinks. Self-serve usually means unlimited-refills so long as you and the cup remain in the establishment. So I order a meal and plop down to eat and go through my readings/assignments while getting the most out of the drink I paid for. Also, being out in public means I'm a lot less tempted to just watch youtube videos or something.

2) Prioritize. Make a list of the stuff you have to do in order of importance. Define "importance" however you wish. I usually go by whichever ones are "due" sooner. E.g. I have: readings for the class on Monday, mini-assignment for Wednesday's night class, studying for an exam on Tuesday morning, laundry (2 weeks overdue therefore you have 4 loads instead of 2), and a paper due on Thursday. I'll create a numbered list: 1) Readings for Monday 2) Study notes for exam, 3) Mini Assignment 4) Paper 5) Laundry (2 loads). Then I try to stick to that list as much as I can. I usually end up deviating and that's my next point.

3) If you're having trouble getting anything done and getting frustrated with yourself, step back. Ignore the priority order and pick on the shortest or easiest task on your list. Get that out of the way to give yourself the confidence boost of having completed something. Ride that sense of accomplishment and work your way up to the most difficult or complicated task on your list. It won't feel as intimidating if you're riding the positive feelings of completing something. This is why small tasks like laundry, cooking, or cleaning are important to include. If you can't handle your academics right now and feel useless, work on laundry or cleaning or whatever. Simple tasks that are hard to mess up. You'll feel better once you've accomplished something, no matter how small. Don't beat yourself up over not having been productive in the "right" ways--sometimes you just need to feel like you accomplished something. This is also why I end up having tons of sweets and baked goods made during Hell Week in University. I'm stressed out, there's way too many exams to study for and assignments due. I can't focus on any one thing long enough to complete it because all the other stuff is screaming at me and I feel worthless. I feel even worse about myself because I "escape" and decide to bake stuff or make sweets. Then I have a ton of sweets and nothing else done. I am frustrated with myself but I do have to admit that I needed a 'win' in that situation. I needed to feel some sense of accomplishment. I have no idea how to complete my paper or what to study for the exam(s) but I did know how to bake those cookies so I'll munch on those while I try to break down my academic tasks into more managable steps.

4) Break down your work into more managable steps. Telling yourself "Write paper" might not be enough motivation or information to help you figure out where to get started. Instead, if you have a rough outline of phrases or points or references you want to include in your introduction as opposed to your body paragraphs then that'll make producing the paper easier on you. Some people just can't get started on a blank document. It happens to the best of us. If it does then break down your paper into pieces. Introduction, point 1, point 2, point 3, discussion, limitations/other considerations, conclusion. Also, it's good practice to create your reference/bibliography sheet as you find the articles. It's better to have 13+ random articles cited properly from the get-go and choosing which to delete than having to go digging around the library for something someone else may have checked out or worse, trying to find the article again on some online database. Don't do that to yourself. Cite once, cite it properly, and move on.

5) Do something enjoyable. Go out with a friend, complain to each other about assignments, gossip, joke around, laugh with each other. Try some new food at a new place or something. Take advantage of the daily special at a pub. Do something fun to forget about the workload you have no idea how to tackle. This is especially good if you're in the process of brainstorming topics for a paper or if you've finished a draft of something. If you're trying to formulate a topic and thesis statement then taking a break and letting your ideas incubate for a while (subconsciously) is good. When you get back to it you'll either see an angle you never considered before, realize it won't work, or whatever else. All ideas look good in the moment when you come up with them, but give it time to simmer and you might realize it was garbage and you wasted time barking up that tree. Same principle with a draft of a paper. Take a break to forget about it so that you can lay fresh eyes on it when you get back. You'll see the holes in the flow of your argument. You'll better-spot typos. That time away with your friend(s) wasn't a waste, it was re-setting your brain and allowing you time away from your ideas/paper so that you didn't end up married to them and blind to the faults in them.

Good luck! Don’t stay frustrated at yourself. That solves nothing and makes you feel horrible. Find some way to break yourself out of the rut and force yourself to look at the up-sides rather than the negatives. It’s a cliche psychological trick that’s been done to death, but it does have some merit to it. If all you focus on are the negatives, that’s what you’re going to see more of. Look for the positives and choose to focus on that. Rather than be frustrated about not being productive in the “right” areas, look at what you did manage to accomplish. I have a mountain of academic work I have no idea how I’m going to tackle and I’ve got 3 things due in 9 hours. It’s daunting. I wanna cry. But I have freshly-baked, home-made chocolate chip cookies. It’ll be a long night and I’m not sleeping tonight and I’m probably going to have to ask for an extension or figure out which one of these assignments I’m going to take a fail in...but I have cookies.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Microsoft Word is the most sensitive thing ever. Move something half an inch and all the pictures move, 3 new pages inserted, fire alarm goes, thunder and lightning, volcano erupts, stock market collapses.

[uni-life-tips]

To all single students out there that are kinda depressed or whatever today.

You can still make today awesome for yourself. Treat yourself to your favorite restaurant or make your favorite food for yourself. If your roommates are spending the day out with their partners then you have the place to yourself to do whatever you want.

Also, tomorrow's cheap chocolate day. So let your couple-friends have today--you'll indulge tomorrow.

From a sociological perspective: there's nothing inherent about Feb 14 that makes it any different than any other day. In fact, it's sad if some arbitrary date is needed as an excuse to spend time with and do couply-things with one's partner.

Today isn't single awareness day for us singles: it's just another day. It's my last day of classes before reading week. It's Thursday which means cheap pierogi at the bar across the street. I have at least one friend whose birthday is today so if they're single today we could get together and throw her a kick-ass party or just have fun together. Feb 14 is just another day--and shame on all the couples that need it as an excuse to be sweet to each other.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Inside every 85 year old man is an 18 year old saying what the fuck just happened.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Most of the adult life feels like a game you were hyped about in childhood but when released you were disappointed because the trailer was better than the actual game.

[uni-life-tips]

At my age my parents had already finished their post-secondary education and were keeping up an international long-distance relationship. Two years later my dad bought a one-way ticket overseas to get married to my mom and figure out how to make a life in a country he’d never been to speaking a language he had no idea about. And the most daunting thing to him, as he tells me now, was having to get used to eating a dish of uncooked greens called “salad” (he came from a culture where all veggies were cooked).

I’m still in post-secondary at my age and I just turned my back on a committed, long-term, long-distance relationship where we were only separated by 2 hours (by car). We didn’t have to wait weeks/months for letters to reach each other, we had instant messaging platforms. 

Don’t measure your life based on what your parents experienced. Your experiences are valid. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing or where you’re going to end up. Everyone is in the same boat. Some people are just better at pretending that everything is fine. Some people are just better at phrasing things in such a way to mask their uncertainties and insecurities.

I don’t know if I’ll have a place to call home in a few months or whether or not I’m going to go back to the city I grew up in and live with my parents or live and work in a new city--maybe the one I went to post-secondary in, maybe somewhere else entirely. I’m terrified because I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t have a clue or inclination toward any of it. I’m terrified to have a preference or desire to settle in one city or another because I’m afraid I’ll be disappointed.  Someone else would call that adventurous--the fact that they could go anywhere and the limitless possibilities. Some people would find the freedom to go to a new place and build up a life from the ground up amazing and liberating and whatever else. Whatever your take on life, whatever your experiences or circumstances, take a deep breath and try to realize that it’s okay.

We live in a different time and in different circumstances than our parents. It’s not right to judge our lives and assign value to the same milestones or accomplishments they went through. You’re you, not your parents. So what if you don’t get married or have kids? You’re not your parents. It’s time you stopped trying to force yourself to desire the same things your parents did. What do you want to do with your life? Do you want the married with kids life? Figure out what you want to do, not what you feel you “have to do” because your parents did it.