Maybe I donāt need to know how the story ends right now. Maybe I just need to make it through today
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@uninstallyourcomputer
Maybe I donāt need to know how the story ends right now. Maybe I just need to make it through today
hiding parts of myself for so long that I genuinely forgot what it feels like to just exist without pretending
Been trying so hard not to become a burden that I forgot people are actually supposed to lean on each other sometimes
Crazy how being forced to sit with yourself will really make you realize how much shit you gotta change
I was spiraling last night but Iām back to being cool calm and collected on the outside lol
Working definitely helps keep my mind off her but only for a few. Till I keep thinking about all the mistakes I've made in the past and how I want to fix everything š«„
Never thought Iād be here actually wanting therapy like damn my brain really been kicking my ass lately š
Laying next to her hurts because all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her close. But Iām respecting her boundaries and peace of mind
My dad was so bummed when I broke the news to him. I ruined his day and he was like aw man I thought yāall have it together. I thought so too dad, I thought so tooā¦
Damn every part of me wants to tell her how much I love her and how badly I want to be with her but respectfully I think thatās all in the past now š. All I can do now is grow from this and become a better version of myself
The hardest part is missing the little moments that used to feel so normal. Holding her in the shower half asleep while the world felt quiet for a minute. Like damn bro you really fumbled that one m š
Part of me was still holding onto denial until I had to explain the situation to my dad face to faceā¦
I think the part that hurts the most is still wanting to say āI love youā when she leaves even though I know things arenāt the same anymore. Wishing I could go back and change everything to how it was
working through childhood trauma has u going āohhhhhhhhhā every few days. connecting the dots
Laying next to her still feels safe and familiar and comforting but then I remember Iām the reason that comfort got broken in the first place