Why do I need to be needed!?
As we’ve seen from Steven Universe Future’s last episode, Prickly Pair, before its current hiatus, Steven has internalized his self-esteem around being emotionally useful to others who are going through a hard time internally. Steven’s whole characterization has been to become this beacon of light for others to find hope in, but what happens when they can shine on their own without needing help from him a lot of the time, like in the original series run? Steven now feels like some rusted tool in a sense that can easily be tossed to the side, given how far others in Beach City have come. I’d say this especially applies to the Crystal Gems too, as they always been like a family to him besides his own father, Greg. How far back did he internalize this mindset that could become seriously crippling for one’s self worth? The conclusion from Steven Universe Season 1′s episode, The Test, really puts into perspective how seriously bottled up this kid has allowed himself to become in openly expressing his emotions to other people more frequently.
We don’t know what he needs.
Steven at first was going to give Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl a serious mouth full for making this test safe, where he was unable to fail 100%. He was understandably very upset for Steven felt like they were still treating him like a child. However, this moment of eavesdropping put a huge change in perspective for how the kid should act around them. The Crystal Gems needed Steven to help lift them out of their own big insecurities, just as Steven needed them to feel better about his own place in the world. It wasn’t about being treated like a kid whatsoever, but more about one supporting the other’s sense of self worth. Steven chose to make a big decision in changing around how he should act for better or worse. In this case, it was for the better, since it was Steven’s next step in emotionally maturing. Learning to better understand why the Crystal Gems were so very protective of him allowed the boy to not be so fast to jump to conclusions for having an emotional outburst and see the bigger picture. Steven, while obviously feeling hurt from being lied to, swallowed his emotions because he knew that these mentors he’s looked up to greatly were dealing with their own emotional issues about how to become better parental role models. They weren’t as perfect as Steven’s whimsical imagination made them out to be.
In these last seconds he could very well let them have it, but Steven still stood firm on choosing to help them out instead of making it about himself. This episode is high up on my list of favorite episodes from the OG Steven Universe series because it poetically shows that while the Gems are competent warriors, they still didn’t know squat at the time about things like what a family should be, which Steven could in return help them get a better idea through his own humanity. This was a very important step in the grand scheme of things for Steven becoming a pacifist and bringing peace to his own universe.
It’s not about just him anymore, but many others, too. This moment showcases that very message.
Steven saying, “Thanks. This is exactly what I needed.”, gave them what they needed most of all. A big boost of confidence in feeling they can become the family that Steven needs, aside from Greg, in helping him understand the idea of what it means to be a Gem. It was the best course of action that resulted in this scenario happening. Steven made the right choice here in helping them out.
I think I’ve said enough…
Unfortunately, the for worse part is greatly showing in Future, where Steven is so determined to keep up his facade of being the savior that he ends up seriously neglecting his tremendous emotional baggage from what’s happened to him over the course of those previous 5 seasons. No person, let alone a fucking kid, walks away “normal” from those kinds of events. He’s allowed this mentality of, “The people first. My own needs later.”, to ridiculously mangle his own perception of true happiness. The more he ignores this, the greater his Pink emotional outbursts shall become and that scares me for what could happen.
Steven, for the love of Christ, I know this redundant as Hell, but get therapy. </3
