advice for trans kids

This is an inclusive and welcoming space for all gender identities, and we are here to help you the best we can with anything you may need. INACTIVE Please check our {FAQ} before sending in an ask. Other blog links can be found on our {navigation} page.

[mysterious-foxes]

THIS. I wish I could be as eloquent as this person. Because this is how you make a difference.

[hetaces]

for everyone in the notes asking: this was @raindovemodel​ (who is no longer active on tumblr, they’re active on instagram where this was posted but i wont link it because tumblr would hide this in the notes)

Rain (any pronouns) is a genderfluid model & posts a lot about how their ability to “pass” as either a man or a woman influences them, and shows off the absurdity of double standards such as mens vs womens olympic uniforms and societal treatment based on perceived gender

They’re also incredibly patient with transphobes and other bigots, and much more so than most of us can manage and I think it’s amazing that they put up with what people say & do

[strawb-crypt1d]

BRO !!!!!!

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

was reading that exchange and i could not believe my eyes???? rain is a fucking wizard wtf :0

[logichotline]

Trans Fashion tips

These are actually non basic clothing tips that can definitely help you

[breadbank-deactivated20240125]

CC:

[So, when you want to put together outfits that feel more androgynous, it’s important to consider not just what you’re wearing, but how you’re wearing it. Depending on the way you place pieces of clothing on your body will determine whether they’re masculinizing or feminizing and how that works with the rest of you.

A hat worn against the back of your head is far more feminizing because it frames and circles your face, where as a hat worn across the brow jars your features more, thus making you feel more masculine. 

A shirt that is not tucked into your pants may give you a more feminine shape because it softens your silhouette, where as one that is, sharpens it. 

It’s also important to consider that large glasses will feminize your face, whereas small glasses will masculinize it.

When piecing these things together it can really make a difference about how your outfit is read

But keep in mind that your appearance has nothing to do with your gender identity, these are just some tips]

[shamebats]

[shamebats]

Peer-reviewed tags

[atlinmerrick]

This is freakin' brilliant knowledge to share, thanks @shamebats.

[saydams]

my friend has been going through this process and the options he has been offered are great! he has been so happy to have so many different ways he can choose to do it; he was able to do it in a way that minimized his worries about being selfconscious about his results.

it's pretty exciting <3

[advicefortranskids]

No Longer An Active Blog

Unfortunately I cannot find any mods to answer the asks that we receive and I am unable to answer them myself. Therefore, I will be unofficially closing this blog. All resources and posts will remain up, but I do not think that any asks will be answered from this point onward. It has been an absolute honour being a part of this blog and community. To all of our followers, I wish you all the best. I hope you have the opportunity to experience much joy, safety, and love.

<3

[honeysucklebuttons]

The tweet: https://twitter.com/Lionhearted_ben/status/1629919975203848192?t=HfF1j3BVqZMgZEIHgVnz3w&s=19

And in case Twitter is being a fool, here's the PDF itself: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PiO5JAc2_erXL9rEPU-Gj4DXQ3N0dTbe/view

Shout-out to a friend for showing me this!!

[advicefortranskids]

MODS WANTED

I am once again asking for someone to please help me out with answering asks on this blog. There is a rather daunting backlog of asks on this blog and they deserve to be answered if possible.

As I am now 27 I am not exactly a kid and cannot offer peer advice to the target demographic of this blog. I also am not well enough to answer things myself. I will however stick around to post resources as I come across them and will be happy to act in a supporting role to any mods who come on board.

This is a link to a google form for the application, please take a look at it if you can. If you feel that these questions are irrelevant or wish to apply in a different way please feel free to send me a message or an ask.

Anyone of any age is welcome, as long as you feel that you can provide compassionate and sound advice.

Thank you!!

[advicefortranskids]

MODS WANTED

I am once again asking for someone to please help me out with answering asks on this blog. There is a rather daunting backlog of asks on this blog and they deserve to be answered if possible.

As I am now 27 I am not exactly a kid and cannot offer peer advice to the target demographic of this blog. I also am not well enough to answer things myself. I will however stick around to post resources as I come across them and will be happy to act in a supporting role to any mods who come on board.

This is a link to a google form for the application, please take a look at it if you can. If you feel that these questions are irrelevant or wish to apply in a different way please feel free to send me a message or an ask.

Anyone of any age is welcome, as long as you feel that you can provide compassionate and sound advice.

Thank you!!

[anderswasrightt]

don't use "ftm" it's outdated and offensive. it implies that the trans person was their agab, which we never were. i was always a boy, never a girl who became a boy.

i'm 35 years old. i've been IDing as trans or something similar to trans for nearly 20 years. i was probably calling myself FTM while you were playing tag during recess, anon.

i WAS a girl. i IDed as a girl early in my life. i recognized myself as a girl, called myself a girl, lived as a girl, and was a girl. who then IDed as a man. hence, F t M.

spend more time worrying about yourself instead of strangers on the internet, anon.

sorry not sorry if this comes off as needlessly hostile, but i've been getting a lot of shit from a lot of teenage trans kids about the language i use to describe my own goddamn experience, and i'm growing real fuckin weary of it.

i have elder trans friends who call themselves transsexuals and transvestites and trannies. are you going to seriously go to a 60-year-old trans person who survived the reagan years and tell her she's not allowed to use certain language to describe herself because it might offend the delicate sensibilities of some teenager on the internet?

do yourself a favor and log off, find some real-life trans people who are over the age of 20 or 25, and spend time talking to them instead of getting all holier-than-thou at random strangers on tumblr.

[femmefurina-deactivated20240814]

It may be weird to encounter because it's not the trans narrative that the media sells to us as 'the only valid way to be trans', but the 'I always knew I was x' is not all-encompassing.

Anon there are more people than you think who were girls who grew up into men, or boys who grew up into women, or girls or boys who grew up to be nonbinary. There is a rather obscure theory that girl and boy are distinct genders from man and woman and while the most common trajectory is that boys grow into men and girls grow into women it's not the rule.

Let people define themselves.

[phoenixtawnyflower]

also if you think genderfluid people are real and you're not just humoring us, you by definition have to allow that gender can change over time. I was a girl once. I am not a girl now.

[theleakypen]

Chiming in with solidarity to OP.

I feel very protective of my former identity BECAUSE there's so little room in the Mainstream Trans Narrative ™️ for allowing gender to change.

I was a girl. Now I'm genderqueer. Maybe later I will find different words for myself.

There has to be room for all of us in the trans community or there's no point to any of this.

[mirrepp]

Ive been here long enough to see words like ftm/mtf, afab/amab, transmale/female, trans man/woman all go through the cycle of ppl telling you to “Dont use X word its out dated. Now use this Y word”. Only for a year or two pass and suddenly “Y word is outdated. Now use Z word” like yall this is exhausting. Just because a word is old doesn’t automatically make it a slur or offensive.

[kaijuno]

[kittykattaffy]

Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.

[kaijuno]

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

[jabberwockypie]

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

[jabberwockypie]

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.

[arahir]

so i'm in this backyard chickens group on reddit and someone just discovered their hen is transitioning and everyone is stoked

anyway in case you didn't know chickens will sometimes spontaneously f2m and it's pretty cool

[vaspider]

[keuppy]

IM CRYING????

[eldestisland]

@thatlazyrat @spindaonateaspoon

[hellyeahscarleteen]

A New Study Finds That Almost No One Regrets Getting Top Surgery

The overwhelming majority of subjects said they were highly satisfied with their surgery.

"Top surgeries are coming out on top when it comes to patient satisfaction. A new study found that when it comes to this particular procedure, people’s long term satisfaction was “overwhelmingly positive compared to other medical and nonmedical decisions.”

Opponents of access to gender-affirming care like to claim that patients will someday regret making irreversible or partially irreversible changes to their bodies, such as gender-affirming mastectomies (often referred to more colloquially as top surgery). Florida Governor and wannabe presidential candidate Ron DeSantis, who has overseen passage of some of the most anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and policies we've seen, once likened trans-affirming care to chemical castration during a debate, while Arkansas Attorney General appeared on Jon Stewart’s show The Problem to deliver the incredibly made-up statistic that 98% of gender dysphoric youth will eventually identify as cisgender.

However, actual medical evidence tells a much different story.

A study published online in the journal JAMA Surgery on August 9 surveyed 139 participants, all of whom had gender-affirming mastectomies at the University of Michigan between January 1, 1990, and February 29, 2020. Researchers found that the median satisfaction rate among respondents was five on a scale of 1 to 5 (the higher the number, the greater the satisfaction, the study explains), and that their medium regret score was 0 on a 100-point scale (again, the lower the number, the lower the regret). In other words, the overwhelming majority of respondents were highly satisfied and regret was vanishingly rare.

Additionally, a quarter of respondents reported having had an additional gender-affirming procedure since their top surgery. As the study’s authors said, “These results suggest sustained intent and consistency in decision-making.”

This is far from the first time that medical evidence has supported the long-term positive effects of gender-affirming surgeries. A 2021 review of multiple studies found that only around 1% of patients who received gender-affirming surgeries regretted their decision. And as the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund notes, almost every major medical association has recognized gender-affirming care as a medical necessity."

[advicefortranskids]

Moderator Applications Open

I am looking for new mods as the previous mods are no longer able to provide their advice. We currently have a vast backlog of unanswered asks that deserve to be responded to.

If you would like to be considered for the position, please send in an ask or message with responses to the following questions:

What is your main tumblr URL?

Have you been a moderator for any blogs in the past? If so, which one(s), and are you still a mod for them?

Would you say you have enough experience with being trans to answer other trans kids' questions about it?

How available will you be to work on the blog (ie: once a week, a few times a week, most days etc)?

Do you have a stable way to be contacted? If so, how can I (mod Mason) contact you?

Are you willing/able to interact and communicate with other mods in your time as a mod?

Are you willing to abide by the rules of the blog, listen to your peers, not overstep your bounds, and participate in honest, responsible, and mature discussion, even in the face of criticism or misunderstanding?

Do you consent to your removal as a mod if it is deemed just?

What is your name, age, gender identity, and pronouns?

What country are you from or do you currently reside in?

Are you understanding of all responsibilities that come with being a mod? This includes, but is not limited to: answering asks and having a general grasp on how the blog functions.

Do you have a religious identity? If so and you feel comfortable sharing, what is it?

Have you medically transitioned, and if so, in what ways (ie: surgery, hormones, etc)?

Have you changed your name and/or gender marker in your state/country?

Anything else you would like to add, mention, or comment on?

Please note that most of these questions are asked to determine whether or not you might have personal or specific experience and knowledge that could assist you in answering asks, as well as your general interest in providing honest assistance. If you are not comfortable answering some questions in this application you are welcome to let me know.

If you are a TERF, SWERF, radfem, transphobe, or transmisogynist please do not apply.

[mercuryfountain-deactivated2024]

Something that gets lost in the contemporary pressure to have an iron-clad identity is the subversive power of saying "it's none of your business."

[our-queer-experience]

we DO grow old and happy. btw.

[imconfusedallthetimehelp]

And you find love and it stays with you.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

[hardboiledleggs]

I think this is something young people in particular are confused about. My dad has always had a slightly off color sense of humor, he always feels the need to privately ask me “boy turned girl or girl turned boy?” if I mention a friend and stress said friend’s pronouns, and yet when we had repair work done in the house and the worker was listening to a podcast discussing the evils of transgender people and how to cleanse society, he went out of his way to contact the owner of the business to discuss his disappointment with that worker’s conduct and stress the negative effect that could have had if there had been trans kids in our home.

Our allies will never be perfect. They will never use the perfect language or have the perfect politics. But we have to appreciate those allies and meet them where they are, especially if they are willing to learn.

[dasenergi]

Mister Rogers