miles medraloza sideblog

main: @unknowntalesbymiles / french posts, reblogs and rambling go here

[phantomrose96]

Coworker (60) was cursing under his breath to himself trying to get something to work on his computer. Other coworker (25) asked, "Are you winning son?" which went unanswered for quite a while, until finally coworker (60) very quietly went "..........'son'?"

[flawseer]

April Fools Ask Flawseer #4

Not currently accepting more in-character asks (ooc asks still fine).

Clay

by @summertimestargazing

CLAY: “Oh! A feast? That would be a terrific idea! But, y’know, half the fun of going to a new place is finding all the exciting new things there are to eat. So wouldn’t it be better to use what’s there already? I think if I went to the Sand Kingdom for example and was eager to sink my teeth into a juicy camel (are camels juicy?), I would be a bit let down if they made me eat the same stuff I can get at home. Okay, maybe not ‘let down’, I’d still eat it. But there’s a bit of a waste of opportunity there, huh? But uh, suppose there’s gonna be some picky eaters there, like Glory or Starflight... Then it might be important to have something that’s ‘safe’.

For me, my comfort meal is cow, can’t ever go wrong with cow! So I’d try to find the closest thing to a cow in each region. Dromedary for Sandwings, manatee for Seawings... Skywings, uh, mountain goat? Yak for Icewings... Rainwings make this more difficult. I don’t know which fruit is the most cow-like. Maybe some kind of big melon or gourd. No wait, there’s a thing called a ‘milk fruit’! I read about it! That’s kind of cow-themed, yeah? I think it’s sometimes called “star apple” too, so it would also work for the Nightwings, being night-themed and all that. Wow, I didn’t think I would figure this out so easily, ha ha! Now how quickly can we do this?”

Flawseer (that's me)

by @chickenclip

FLAWSEER: “I consider myself rather omnivorous, so I can work with either of those options. I’ll eat anything as long as it is fresh. For instance, I don’t understand what insanity Battlewinner was putting her subjects through or what that bathbound cretin was trying to accomplish. But if I had to pin down a personal preference, prepared is the way to go. You can’t beat a decent roast on a bed of fluffy rice. If you want to know more about food, you should come over! I make a rather mean river fish stew.” FLAME: “’Mean’, yeah, you can say that again! Don’t come over, he puts blasted peas in it! It’s mental!” FLAWSEER: “Peas are good for you, Flame. Their taste is fairly neutral and there’s some good minerals in there.” FLAME: “Bleagh!! They’re little bombs of mush that ruin everything! Like tiny, globby, clumpy explosions all over my mouth! If I wanted minerals, I’d rather lick rocks for two hours! Little green wastes of plant matter, why’s everything small and green so annoying!?” Flawseer laughs. FLAME: “What?” FLAWSEER: “Nothing, just, your mother said something very much like that to me a few years ago. The pea vendetta must run in the family. All right, all right, I’ll leave the peas out next time. But we’ll have to find something else to replace them with. How do you feel about string beans?” FLAME: “I’m leaving!!”

Toad?

by @xdugatheskelex

FATESPEAKER: “I’m really sorry! I’ve looked everywhere but I can’t find any dragon by that name. Sadly, that means we will have to move on to—“

NEWT: “I’ll take it from here!” FATESPEAKER: “Wha— Newt?” NEWT: “Yes, this is a food question so I’m taking over! You can go, shoo, git! Go suck on a bug, nightcrawler.”

“BOY! Where do I even START!?! Everyone needs to eat to survive, allegedly, that’s what they tell us. You wouldn’t guess that from the kinds of atrocities some dragons put into their mouths! Like, how about Icewings, the WORST of the bunch by far! They don’t do ANYTHING; no cooking, no seasoning, no sides... Just meat! Raw meat, raw, raw, raw, meat, meat, meat, all the time, every time! You go to some creature that calls itself an “Icewing Gourmet” and they serve you the same uncooked meat slop you get in every other joint! And then they look at how thoroughly unimpressed you are and say “The artistry is in the presentation. Look how finely sliced the walrus liver is, it’s like paper thin.” Why don’t you go munch on some scrolls then if you want to eat paper that much?? Unbelievable!!

And then, and THEN the worst part is the other dragons who go apologizing on their behalf! Like, just last week in cultural exchange class, they try to tell me “nweehh, it’s because Icewings have delicate palates, they taste everything much more intensely than we do.” And that’s why everything has to be bland over there? Well, Sunshine, zero times a hundred is still zero! Bland is bland no matter how strong you taste it! I hear the mewling of the Icewing I bunk with. “Ooo, my sensitive tummy, don’t put the bell pepper in there it’s too spicy.” Since when on this moonforsaken earth is bell pepper spicy, you blue ninny!? I swear you wouldn’t believe how hard our people struggled against these jokers in the war! Me? I would have put one well-seasoned steak in the middle of the battlefield and all those lily-livered snowbacks would’ve immediately wet their tails and flown back to their icicle hole!

And then there’s Skywings! Moons alive, I’ve had to hold my tongue so much since we were allied with them. They’re better than Icewings, but not by much. Everything is overdone, charred black!! You watch them slow-roast a pheasant to perfection, juices dripping, skin crisp and golden, gorgeous... I weep. And then they go “nope!” and toss the whole thing back in the furnace at full blast! GAAHH!! You wanna eat char, why don’t you just shove a talonful of coal in your red gob and spare the rest of us the heartache!? Sandwings, they make more sense. Everything is seasoned at least, a bit strongly some times but you can still eat it. They really like to put things on sticks, lizard on sticks, veggies on sticks, roast cactus on sticks. Where do they get the sticks? You’d think the reason they build their houses out of sand is because they used all the blasted wood for their sticks! Of course don’t offer them a good, hearty Mudwing stew. It freaks them out. They’re like “Oh no, I have to watch my fluid intake, this will make me sick.” UGH!! What kind of evolutionary dead end creature is allergic to WATER!??

Nightwings, I’m not even going to dignify their crimes against taste with a response. Rainwings, I don’t have much of an opinion on. They’ve got good ingredients, but everything they make is too sweet. It’s just fruit all the time. You can tell when you go to a food place where there’s a Rainwing in the kitchen because the whole menu will be stuffed with apples. Roast goat with apples. Spicy risotto with apples and apples. Grilled apple, with apple slice garnish, filled with paste of apple. It’s the apple-ocalypse! And Seawings, they’re all about that raw fish nonsense! Try making a nice fishy stew with some potatoes and carrots, and they’ll blink at you all uppity and call you a double-ended spoon or something.

No, what I’ve learned from interacting with all these guys in here at this school place is this; The world, every tribe’s territory, is full of beautiful, scrumptuous ingredients... and half-wits who RUIN them! We should all just agree that Mudwings had it right, that we’ve written the scroll on what good and decent taste is. I don’t think we should rule the world, but we do need to liberate its food and tell the other tribes what to eat! If just to protect them from their own impulses! Like, just the other day one of them new guys, what, Silkywings? I saw them try make Colonel Buttonbush’s famous gourd layer stew. Probably read about it in some scroll and went “ooo this looks fun, I’m gonna make this really historically treasured Mudwing dish, and I’m not gonna read up on any of its cultural significance.” And then she went and put blasted sumac berries in it!

SUMAC BERRIES! That’s a Sandwing thing! Mudwings didn’t have access to sumac berries until the 4300s! Colonel Buttonbush made that stew for his troops in preparation for battle in the Saffron War, a war our people fought AGAINST the Sand Kingdom!! I swear I almost leapt across the table and dunked her head in the spice bowl! There need to be laws against this kind of assault on my— Hey, no!”

“No, put me down! I’m not done! NOT DONE!!! This isn’t over, arrghh!!!”

_____

One of these days Newt is going to have an extended speaking role in the canon story and he'll be the most mild-mannered, agreeable, polite Mudwing ever. Then I'll look like a colossal idiot.

[the-meme-monarch]

😀 people are getting a little too comfortable gendering nonbinary characters anyway (Particularly talking they/them-only users here) for the sake of calling their ships yaoi or yuri. methinks

[rustycrunchh]

my favorite toxic yuri ♡

burn I love you but im never drawing a sandwing ever again. absoloute torture.

bonus burn cuz I liked how I drew her + she has a lot of unnecessary details 🐎

reblogs appreciated (　＾ω＾) / read my book boy

[flawseer]

Today, we have asked 6 randomly selected dragons the following question:

"As an Animus, how do you go about moving an object without touching it? Please explain your method!"

The answers we received were... well, I don't know if I would call them "shocking", but they probably have some quality that could be described with an adjective. I guess you'll just have to find out yourself and make your own judgment.

Princess Orca

Prince Turtle

Princess Anemone

Prince Albatross

Darkstalker

Stonemover

~~~~~

Yup. I am still writing that thing about animus magic, and one question that came to mind while doing so was "What if rather than something that works the same for everyone, magic was instead very personal and required every animus to find their own way and discover their own process to cast spells?" So since I haven't posted in a while, I thought I should do a little something with that.

I'm sorry for the silence, by the way. I have been working on that JMA Files thing and also some other, unrelated nonsense.

[pret-boy]

"I wish we met sooner" is such a gentle sentiment. I love you so much I not only want you in my future, but in my past too. I want to have known you when we were small stupid kids, have held hands together as we played outside. I want to have stressed out over exams together, nudging a mug of still steaming hot chocolate against your elbow to get you to focus. I want to have told you I love you before I did anyone else. I want to have held you in my arms when all those sad memories you describe to me were still fresh wounds. I want my past to have been full of you, and full of meaningful memories with you. I want my past lives to have been spent with you, whether as two lovers, or two housecats cuddling by the fireplace on a snowy day, or two flowers that just happened to bloom on the same day, next to each other. I want to have consumed your existence and intertwined it with my own since my birth, never to be separated from you for a moment. I want to have loved you throughout it all, for all time.

[silv-spams]

@unknowntakesbymiles /p

[skyhighartist]

They're fighting for the Gender Fluid.

Happy pride!

[themindbehindthejork]

imagine how many problems would be solved if people just weren't scared of polyamory lol

[azzzryel]

🤷‍♂️

[thevariousthings]

Every time I get into a trio ship I genuinely find it so difficult to go back to only the two because once I'm in it I can't imagine A and B without the C and it's like, "where's the rest of ya?"

[jorolle]

trans person: im trans

society: okay

your aroace friend you try to ignore: did you know there's a 6 hour cut of project hail mary

[gastonlagaffe]

literally the same picture

[crowfarerr]

this song makes me cry and now I'm associating it with this stupid rabbit and that makes it even worse

[felwinter-deactivated20190201]

my sister has apparently had to stop playing Skyrim because she stole every book in the game to stock her house so now her house is full of books to the point where it almost breaks the game and every time she tries to read one guards teleport into her home and arrest her

[aminoasinine]

Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

[annabelle--cane]

gothic horror is when there's a location. cosmic horror is when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing. folk horror is when you're outside.

[stalker-among-the-stars]

Okay, what is it when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing lurking outside of a location?

[of-starships-and-wombats]

Then you’re in John Carpenter’s 1982 masterpiece The Thing

[stenclastiel]

The monkey needs to grow to human size and rail the everloving shit out of Bill because that motherfucker was so obsessed with the monkey he even fantasized it stripping for him in a club

[unknowntalesbymiles]

VEE VERSION ONE !!!