Finding Peace
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27~
I remember a moment as a child, probably around 2nd or 3rd grade, finding myself full of fearful thoughts while lying in bed at night. I headed downstairs and stood in the now dark doorway to my parents' room. They had gone to bed not long before, but they always welcomed our coming in when we were scared.
I remember asking my parents, âWhat about nuclear war? What if it comes?â
Donât ask me where I had heard of nuclear war or why I was afraid of it in that moment. I donât recall their answer as they, probably half-asleep, tried to address my left-field question. Whatever the answer, it put my young mind at ease, and I headed back upstairs to bed.
I donât really recall a time when fear and anxiety werenât part of my life. I could give master classes in the âartâ of fear, worry, and anxiety. And I have requested many a time for God to remove that thorn, but like the Apostle Paul, God has kept it there, showing His strength in my weakness.
That said, there has been growth over the years, moving me away from the intensity of fear and lessons learned along the way. Here are three things I discovered from my journey with God amid my fear over nearly everything.
First, my worst case, the worst possible thing that I have ever imagined, has never happened, has never come to pass. Along with that, the bad things that did happen, incredibly, they either stopped short of the worst, did a U-turn, or took a hard right from what I thought would happen.
Which leads to the second lesson I learned. Recently husband and I were thinking over Godâs goodness and faithfulness through the bad that has occurred in our lives and were struck again by being able to see Godâs protection on the other side of bad.
For example, I not only start and finish something, but I hang on to the bitter end, whether that is what God wants for me or not. I made a commitment; I honor my commitments. But there are times God calls us away from certain commitments to new ones. Looking back, we saw He was calling us away from a situation to protect me/us from what was coming next, which would have been worse had I/we remained in that situation.
Quick sidebar to get to lesson three. Since 2012, I have chosen one word to focus on each year. I recently looked over the list and found myself in awe of how God has worked in and on me, not only through each word, but also at how every word built on the one prior to it.
In 2025, I sensed God calling me to spend more time with Him, to Abide in His presence.
To slow long enough to hear Biblical truths He wished to share with me.
Slowing down and stopping are things I just donât do⊠or at least donât do well. But by practicing abiding for a year, He prepared me for this year, which was to See.
To See His goodness in my past and in my present.
To See all my fears over the years have always been firmly in His grip and control.
To See how the proverbial âshoe droppingâ didnât always drop or that God caught it on the way down.
This leads to my third lesson. Before getting married to husband, almost eight years ago now, I remember thinking that once we got married, some of my fears would be over and then my worrying would lessen. Even as I thought that, deep down I knew it wasnât true, but hereâs to hoping!
Recently husband and I were talking about this, and for the first time in my 40-some years, I admitted having this thought process my whole life.
âIf I just get through this worrisome thing, then my worry/fear/anxiety will be less.â But as we all know, life abhors a vacuum, and I would conveniently fill the newly vacated worry space with new worries.
My worry of âwill husband leave me at the altarâ turned into, âWill he leave when he has been married to me for a bit and really gets to know the real me,â which then turned into worry ofâŠ, which then turned into a worry ofâŠ, which thenâŠyou get the idea.
Now I know telling someone not to worry is like telling my husband not to sneeze during this incredibly high allergy season. âJust donât worryâ doesnât take away the worry. Even as I write this, I admit to struggling just this morning on the way to work with fear/worry. However, I have found a few things that help me in my war on worry/fear/anxiety, and maybe they will encourage you also.
Talking it out has always alleviated my fears, and thank goodness, my husband, friends, and family are really great listeners.
Yet, there are things I wanted to do internally to push my growth and trust in God. For example, I cut out some of the noise. Other than writing a post now and again, I am not scrolling through social media. I have cut that noise out in an effort to lessen my anxiety and worry. Focusing on one word each year helps me re-center on God and on what He wishes me to Abide in â His presence and Word.
Interestingly, the more I Abide, which I continue to practice, the more easily the peace that passes all understanding, the peace Jesus spoke of during the Last Supper, is within my reach. It is not always natural for me to lean into, but it is present, and I have experienced it.
I often still have to work hard to accept it. The verse I quoted earlier is one I have rested in often when fear begins to rise in my heart and chest. To that endâŠ
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27~