I have a serious problem with misreading things, i’ll be texting someone and then this will happen
friend: I’m still having a boring day
me: what? your having a still born??
friend: what
me: what
update:
i read forensic science as foreskin science

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@unnervingly-large-rodent
I have a serious problem with misreading things, i’ll be texting someone and then this will happen
friend: I’m still having a boring day
me: what? your having a still born??
friend: what
me: what
update:
i read forensic science as foreskin science
me finding out i have tape worms
lol ok so my parents told me i had ringworm as a child so i guess this was their reaction to that
there should be a tax that youtubers pay where 1.5% of all of their revenue goes back to Kevin Macleod for basically supplying YouTube with it’s own soundtrack.
who is this man and what music did he make???
if you hear a royalty free song on youtube, there’s approximately an 80% chance Kevin Macleod wrote it.
here’s some you’ve almost definitely heard:
for those wondering, yes, he also made THE generic royalty free song that was EVERYWHERE in 2014.
He has a Patreon!
And he doesn’t even make a 1000$ per month!
also, his site incompetech.com also has graph paper generators, if you’re in need of that. It has any kind of graph paper - INCLUDING hex paper, you tabletop gamers out there! (or knitting paper if you’re into that)
this gave me nostalgia go support this man
me, singing: mama!
my mom from the other room:
REBLOG if you are -gay -wanna kill yourself - love animals - falling for someone that you don’t have a chance with - hungry
no one will ever know which one
Ohhh boiii
uhhhhhhhhjhjjhdv
what’s your useless superpower?
i remember every kitchen i’ve ever been in
I can balance the light switch between on and off
Little children love me
I can make tea without using either of my brain cells (last 2)
I can eat 3000+ calories a day and not get fat
i can untangle earbuds without fail in less than 30 seconds
USELESS i said *useless*
I’ve trained my cat to come running at the sound of a cowbell
…..continue
i can wait for over 24 hours to pee
Animal Crossing on the Switch looking realistic af
I really want to exist as just a disembodied voice.
yeah!
I have a serious problem with misreading things, i’ll be texting someone and then this will happen
friend: I’m still having a boring day
me: what? your having a still born??
friend: what
me: what
what ever happened to vine 2?
everyone was hyped for it and then everyone sort of calmed down and it never came out.
the caption reads: “I’m trying to give him positive role models”
sweet fuck vampires are pale b/c they’re anemic
Did you only just realize this? They also suck blood because they cant get vitamin d from sun exposure.
take a multivitamin you melodramatic victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses
I want to make a TV show where i go into the sewers of New York and interview the crocodiles living in the sewer.
me: Good sir! Tell us, what exactly do you eat in this here sewer?
crocodile: is frantically thrashing trying to get away from the experts holding him down
me: Interesting!
the show will eventually end when i am eaten by a crocodile
me finding out i have tape worms