My apologies for the jumbled mess of thoughts and such below.
Thank you for being so civil and respectful. I had found a similar blog to yours (I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon it) and I tried to have a civil conversation with them and they were rude. I felt rather offended by their blog as well.
You are absolutely right, what you or anyone, for that matter, believes shouldn’t dictate anyone’s life. I stand by the sentiment.
I have actually wondered that perhaps there is some science involved and that may influence one’s brain and their thoughts regarding masculinity and femininity. Like perhaps someone can have some more male or female chromosomes than others or something of that nature. But I could be completely wrong, and I haven’t seen anything about it.
You say stereotypes, I say cultural influences.
As I was growing up, I immediately noticed that I liked girls as well as boys. And when I was figuring out who I was, I thought that perhaps I was just a tomboy or that because I like women, I would feel masculine sometimes, that it’s probably some “gay thing.” But, it wasn’t like that.
I’m very comfortable with my female body, but sometimes I do wish I could shapeshift into a man. Occasionally, I do wish I had those experiences that only men go through.
I think there is nothing wrong with the cultural representation of femininity or masculinity, except of course the negative stuff presented in media and such. Sure, we’re either born male or female (intersex, too), but in whatever culture someone lives in, masculinity and femininity are displayed.
1: the totality of physical and behavioral traits that are designated by a culture as masculine or feminine
2: a person’s internal sense of being male, female, some combination of male and female, or neither male or female
” - https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gender%20identity
“Gender identity can correlate with assigned sex at birth, or can differ from it. All societies have a set of gender categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a person’s social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between gender attributes assigned to males and females, a gender binary to which most people adhere and which includes expectations of masculinity and femininity in all aspects of sex and gender: biological sex, gender identity, and gender expression.” - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity
https://www.genderspectrum.org/quick-links/understanding-gender/
I’m horrible with words, so here are some definitions to show what I’m trying to explain. Cultural influences are not going to go away, and I think many don’t think twice about it. It’s like second nature.
(Also, you said gender expression, but there’s a difference between that and gender identity. Sometimes they can correlate)
I love feeling masculine, wearing men’s clothing, sitting with my legs spread, talking with a deep voice, etc. It makes me feel good. and so does being feminine.
I do understand and somewhat agree with your statement, “Men can wear makeup, wear dresses, do feminine things, this doesn’t make them a woman or anything comparing to a woman” and I guess that’s sexist. It is our culture that influences “women = feminine” and vice versa. You see this as a negative (I presume), and I see it as a positive. Well, actually I’m indifferent about it.
One time I was at school moving a table towards me, and when another person pushed it, helping me, it hit my privates. Afterward, I kept thinking, I wish I was a man, I wanted it to hurt. At that moment, I wanted that feeling, and it didn’t happen despite feeling very masculine at that point, because I have a female body.
I loved when someone accidentally called me sir. I love the idea and wish someone would refer to me as “he” or “Asher” occasionally. I think this all goes way deeper than some people realize for others who are gender-fluid and other gender identities.
Yes, perhaps there should be changes regarding how men and women are perceived in society/culture, like men being superior or some better example that I can’t think of, like err women are sexualized more and men are brought up to never show emotion, shit like that. Except, I think there are good things that shouldn’t be taken out of proportion, and gender identity is one of them. As well as gender expression, and sexual orientation.
Side note, the genderbread person should be shown in health education classes in the U.S. It’s perfect.
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