At least Parangosky Liked Us

[unscarmy]

@officeofnavalintelligence HEARD YOU HAD MJOLNIRS FOR FREE

[officeofnavalintelligence]

does halo wars 2 have that fucking grunt mech from halo 5?

if not, let us know when they patch it in.

[unscarmy]

they dont have us so its automatically awful

[unscarmy]

@officeofnavalintelligence can we come back from hiatus too

[officeofnavalintelligence]

#freethearmy

[unscarmy]

wake me up (wake me up inside)

[unscarmy]

@officeofnavalintelligence can we come back from hiatus too

[officeofnavalintelligence]

Boss why is every bathroom on fire in headquarters. Like every single one is on fire, all 327 bathrooms engulfed in flames

unsc army’s fault, probably. 

[unscarmy]

i just saw this

hate you all

[unscarmy]

see you're excited for the banished When do we star in a game

[officeofnavalintelligence]

halo fandom boss rush: you have to fight @haruspis, @spartanlocke, and @cortnan before reaching a checkpoint and fighting @yeeeem and us in a two-on-one boss battle. every boss fight has the slight undertone of how much we all dislike brian reed’s writing. 

[officeofnavalintelligence]

we should clarify on this: we know there are a good number of other various members of the fandom that will also fit the bill for the boss status, but this is the boss rush, right before the final villain. many of you will be seen throughout the earlier portions of the game.

[haruspis-deactivated20220412]

bonnie ross is the final boss bonnie boss

[jame7t]

my boss fight glitches through the floor. not you, not me, the entire fight. it’s just all of us in the void. you lose. I lose

[unscarmy]

We’re guessing we’re the first enemy of the game?

[spartanlocke]

@sailorsanghelios already claimed the role of first boss, but you can be the mobs.

[unscarmy]

That's what we meant. The Goombas.

Of fucking course.

[jame7t]

so someone at halofollower did a “Top five worst characters in the halo series” and Tanaka made number one. first of all, sure, it’s your opinion, but fuck you, and you are wrong

[thelvadam]

the video is the worst thing i’ve ever seen

i can’t put this shit into words

[spartanlocke]

Halo literally has characters like The Master Builder, Del Rio, Ackerson, and Deviltana, and this fucker decides that Palmer and Tanaka…are the worst? Then again, he doesn’t seem to know much about Halo in general

[officeofnavalintelligence]

just to break character for a moment, we love joking about this stuff but there are tons more poorly written and less fleshed out characters throughout the halo series. tanaka and palmer are not on that list. both of them have gotten a ton of supplemental material in the form of comics, books, and other smaller games that flesh out these characters. in no regards are they the “Worst” characters in the franchise. 

spartanlocke is very right in the assessment that characters like Del Rio and Ackerson could easily be written off as the worst characters, but if you want to talk about characters with no characterization that people love but really have nothing to them, talk about Sgt. Forge from Wars or Colonel Urban Holland from Reach. people love to throw female characters under the bus while completely ignoring a wealth of these shitty one-dimensional Whiteman McVideogameprotagonist characters. 

[elsha-incoming]

I love how the dude who made the video is automatically sexist because of a different opinion on bad characters. Excellent. Loving it. Not liking Tanaka and palmer doesn’t make you sexist jfc

[jame7t]

go away

[agentblackwasp-deactivated20170]

>“One dimensional white men” Good old tumblr am I right @officeofnavalintelligence

[officeofnavalintelligence]

“I’m anti third wave feminazi.” go away

[haruspis-deactivated20220412]

Nolan North literally played the exact same character twice in the same god damn year.

The only different between Forge and Romeo being that one was a chauvinistic, aggressively straight white man and the other was a chauvinistic, aggressively straight black man.

[sailorsanghelios]

I love myself too much to waste my energy yelling at this, so who were the other three characters other then Tanaka and Palmer

[spartanlocke]

#5. Prophet of Mercy, #4. Serin Osman, and #2. Gabriel Thorne.

Yes, he thinks Mercy is a better character than Tanaka and Palmer. 

[sailorsanghelios]

Oh man fuck them, the only reason people hate Serin is cause she was introduced by. Traviss.

I mean let’s be honest a good amount of these characters have very little characterization. This game isn’t known for that. So if you target women for that only then bud you’re probably kind of sexist, yes offense.

[spartanlocke]

Well the man starts off the video by explaining that he picked the characters based off how much the fanbase hates them, so… Yeah, it’s sexist.

[unscarmy]

Also like that's so nondescript for...all of these characters?

And I've seen more Tanaka love than I have Forge love.

Also we hate the prophets for being evil. We hate Warden Eternal for being badly written. HUGE DIFFERENCE

[officeofnavalintelligence]

halo fandom boss rush: you have to fight @haruspis, @spartanlocke, and @cortnan before reaching a checkpoint and fighting @yeeeem and us in a two-on-one boss battle. every boss fight has the slight undertone of how much we all dislike brian reed’s writing. 

[officeofnavalintelligence]

we should clarify on this: we know there are a good number of other various members of the fandom that will also fit the bill for the boss status, but this is the boss rush, right before the final villain. many of you will be seen throughout the earlier portions of the game.

[haruspis-deactivated20220412]

bonnie ross is the final boss bonnie boss

[jame7t]

my boss fight glitches through the floor. not you, not me, the entire fight. it’s just all of us in the void. you lose. I lose

[unscarmy]

We're guessing we're the first enemy of the game?

[unitednationspacecommand]

whomever is sliding inappropriate drawings of AIs under office doors, we got you on camera and we are mailing every picture to your parents with your signature on them

[jimfromaccounting]

Jokes on you, my parents are dead!

[unitednationspacecommand]

thanks for calling yourself out

[jimfromaccounting]

Who are you gonna tell? My supervisors? I am the supervisor! I’m untouchable! And also mortally terrified because Howard didn’t die, he was composed and is now on a rampage on my floor send help, not for me but to protect ONIs assets

[unitednationspacecommand]

Oh boy this sounds like a big problem. @olympiavale​ you are now jim’s supervisor, do what you think is right. Also we are sending the @unscarmy​ to deal with Lt.Howard. Trap him in hardlight cage or something, you have full acces to whatever you need for this

[unscarmy]

we have lost an entire platoon. they were armed only with SOCOMs. what the fuck.

[unitednationspacecommand]

the one time i give you full access to everything and you pick SOCOMs. Send another platoon with good gear

[unscarmy]

we gave them energy swords and they immediately wanted to play star wars. we see now why you hate us.

[unitednationspacecommand]

i love all my kids equaliy but you have to be profesional about stuff like this. How about you lure omega Howard out into the open with a few mugs and then catch him with something. He (or whatever he is now) must be taken alive/functional

[unscarmy]

we got him. we did it. WE’RE INVICIBL-

and private ross got too close to the cage and got stabbed. 

[unitednationspacecommand]

whomever is sliding inappropriate drawings of AIs under office doors, we got you on camera and we are mailing every picture to your parents with your signature on them

[jimfromaccounting]

Jokes on you, my parents are dead!

[unitednationspacecommand]

thanks for calling yourself out

[jimfromaccounting]

Who are you gonna tell? My supervisors? I am the supervisor! I’m untouchable! And also mortally terrified because Howard didn’t die, he was composed and is now on a rampage on my floor send help, not for me but to protect ONIs assets

[unitednationspacecommand]

Oh boy this sounds like a big problem. @olympiavale​ you are now jim’s supervisor, do what you think is right. Also we are sending the @unscarmy​ to deal with Lt.Howard. Trap him in hardlight cage or something, you have full acces to whatever you need for this

[unscarmy]

we have lost an entire platoon. they were armed only with SOCOMs. what the fuck.

[unitednationspacecommand]

the one time i give you full access to everything and you pick SOCOMs. Send another platoon with good gear

[unscarmy]

we gave them energy swords and they immediately wanted to play star wars. we see now why you hate us.

[unitednationspacecommand]

whomever is sliding inappropriate drawings of AIs under office doors, we got you on camera and we are mailing every picture to your parents with your signature on them

[jimfromaccounting]

Jokes on you, my parents are dead!

[unitednationspacecommand]

thanks for calling yourself out

[jimfromaccounting]

Who are you gonna tell? My supervisors? I am the supervisor! I’m untouchable! And also mortally terrified because Howard didn’t die, he was composed and is now on a rampage on my floor send help, not for me but to protect ONIs assets

[unitednationspacecommand]

Oh boy this sounds like a big problem. @olympiavale​ you are now jim’s supervisor, do what you think is right. Also we are sending the @unscarmy​ to deal with Lt.Howard. Trap him in hardlight cage or something, you have full acces to whatever you need for this

[unscarmy]

we have lost an entire platoon. they were armed only with SOCOMs. what the fuck.

[unitednationspacecommand]

PSA

effective immediately, @julmdama is now executive commander of the @unscarmy

[unsc-waypoint]

If you have any concerns regarding this transition please redirect them here:

[unscarmy]

FUCKIN

[ecumenecouncil]

Oh and while we’re here,

 @the-swords-of-sanghelios @unscarmy @officeofnavalintelligence Stop touching our stuff.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

finders keepers glassed planets have bad records

[unscarmy]

we don’t even get to touch your stuff oni won’t let us

[ecumenecouncil]

Our apologizes, we may have forgotten to mention that “touch” and “destroy” are synonymous in our language.  

[covenantempire]

Can I touch your stuff, oh Holy Ones?

…Can I touch you?

[ecumenecouncil]

Who the fuck are you?

This wasn’t in the plan.

What the fuck???

[covenantempire]

#who are these lizard people are why do they want to touch us

EXCUSE YOU I’M A MAMMAL, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A SAN SHYUUM IS??

[thegravemind]

Might I Partake In The Touching As Well?

[giantarthropod]

Technically speaking, we were here first. I do believe that means we get to touch anything we want.

[unscarmy]

Eat our collective asses, we don’t get to touch anything.

[unitednationspacecommand]

son, put another frigate into the swear jar please

[unscarmy]

but daaaaad, they cursed first

[unitednationspacecommand]

yeah but they’re dead and irrelevant

[unscarmy]

aw man

[ecumenecouncil]

Oh and while we’re here,

 @the-swords-of-sanghelios @unscarmy @officeofnavalintelligence Stop touching our stuff.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

finders keepers glassed planets have bad records

[unscarmy]

we don’t even get to touch your stuff oni won’t let us

[ecumenecouncil]

Our apologizes, we may have forgotten to mention that “touch” and “destroy” are synonymous in our language.  

[covenantempire]

Can I touch your stuff, oh Holy Ones?

…Can I touch you?

[ecumenecouncil]

Who the fuck are you?

This wasn’t in the plan.

What the fuck???

[covenantempire]

#who are these lizard people are why do they want to touch us

EXCUSE YOU I’M A MAMMAL, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A SAN SHYUUM IS??

[thegravemind]

Might I Partake In The Touching As Well?

[giantarthropod]

Technically speaking, we were here first. I do believe that means we get to touch anything we want.

[unscarmy]

Eat our collective asses, we don’t get to touch anything.

[unitednationspacecommand]

son, put another frigate into the swear jar please

[unscarmy]

but daaaaad, they cursed first

[ecumenecouncil]

Oh and while we’re here,

 @the-swords-of-sanghelios @unscarmy @officeofnavalintelligence Stop touching our stuff.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

finders keepers glassed planets have bad records

[unscarmy]

we don’t even get to touch your stuff oni won’t let us

[ecumenecouncil]

Our apologizes, we may have forgotten to mention that “touch” and “destroy” are synonymous in our language.  

[covenantempire]

Can I touch your stuff, oh Holy Ones?

…Can I touch you?

[ecumenecouncil]

Who the fuck are you?

This wasn’t in the plan.

What the fuck???

[covenantempire]

#who are these lizard people are why do they want to touch us

EXCUSE YOU I’M A MAMMAL, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A SAN SHYUUM IS??

[thegravemind]

Might I Partake In The Touching As Well?

[giantarthropod]

Technically speaking, we were here first. I do believe that means we get to touch anything we want.

[unscarmy]

Eat our collective asses, we don’t get to touch anything.

[sailorsanghelios]

Halo and @ao3tags part 2

BONUS HALO 5 SALT: