Noah Kahan
oozey mess
#extradirty
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Color Me Curious
The Bowery Presents
YOU ARE THE REASON
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almost home
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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cherry valley forever
The Stonewall Inn
Kiana Khansmith
Discoholic 🪩
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Phantogram Three
Cosmic Funnies
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@covenantempire
@unitednationspacecommand, do not involve us in your squabbles with @covenantempire in matters of reproduction. Cham ‘Lokeema is getting a headache from just reading the discourse.
Strange I was expecting Mr. ‘ Trokaik to have the biggest reaction to that...
PSA
having sex with aliens
it’s illegal now
You’re just mad cause we’re prettier.
@officeofnavalintelligence is a organization you can trust
we’re pretty morally ambiguous, but not like. depraved. don’t fuck the aliens.
So proud of you son. Next step: stop the AI yiffer
Excuse you we are perfectly fuckable, did you think we reproduced by splitting off each other?
…well the Mgalekgolo do that, but still.
you are not fuckable you got your ass handed to you in a war now git
Thats not what your mom said
@officeofnavalintelligence is a organization you can trust
we’re pretty morally ambiguous, but not like. depraved. don’t fuck the aliens.
So proud of you son. Next step: stop the AI yiffer
Excuse you we are perfectly fuckable, did you think we reproduced by splitting off each other?
...well the Mgalekgolo do that, but still.
Jackals are hot.
ok, buddy, i wont kinkshame
I’ll kinkshame
I mean jackels are alright, but elites?
Have you ever seen a more perfect creature?
I don’t get it. aliens are too sharp. too pointy. you CANNOT fuck them. it’s not compatible. they probably have chainsaw dicks for all you know
According to the Halo Wikia, Sangheili don’t have external genitalia~ (if you found a way to though i mean, color me impressed)
they don’t have dicks. they don’t. the aliens… Don’t have dicks. This is the best day of my life. Thank god.
Well actually if they’re like Earth reptiles they probably do have internal genitalia like hemipenises, that become external during mating.
As in they have two dick.
STOP RUINING THIS
everyone who wants to fuck an alien is getting 10 thousand years in space prison. forever.
This is why the Forerunners left you nasty ass people behind.
*blows kiss at space* for thel
*casts resurrection spell at space* for jul
*casts summoning spell at space* for the didact
*sends a hug and a blanket into space* for rtas
*throws copy of the laws of robotics into space* you know exactly who you fuckin are
*drops ODSTs onto a planet* for the insurrectionists.
“drops orbital plasma bombardment* For the humans
mad props to brian reed, who somehow made the villain of halo 5 a character that had largely done nothing wrong. really distracted people from the time we heavily considered killing all of the sangheili.
The Sangheili did not appreciate that.
You are absolutely right. We’re still waiting for an explanation.
I mean if it didn’t work out when we tried it, what makes you think you can do it?
glassed records have bad planets
bad glass has planet records.
has records bad glass planet
I’m the glass
*poses and squats* how bad me be? ;)
DEMON
worm disco
This brings back memories to the annual High Charity, Charity Function for the Lekgolo, those worms sure could party.
@officeofnavalintelligence @the-swords-of-sanghelios @unscarmy @ecumenecouncil @covenantempire
thank u
You’re not welcome, vermin.
It was actually I who ordered the theft of Cpt. Howard’s mug.
Well actually I asked for one of my Jiralhanae to remove the bug I’m pretty sure @officeofnavalintelligence put in my location, but he must have had too much fur in his ears cause he thought I told him to “remove the human’s mug”
Humans more like Poo-mans am I right?
Hi I'm a Sangheili that left during the Great Schism I may have left my diary with you can I come get it?
No, your secrets are mine now.
Oh and while we’re here,
@the-swords-of-sanghelios @unscarmy @officeofnavalintelligence Stop touching our stuff.
finders keepers glassed planets have bad records
we don’t even get to touch your stuff oni won’t let us
Our apologizes, we may have forgotten to mention that “touch” and “destroy” are synonymous in our language.
Can I touch your stuff, oh Holy Ones?
…Can I touch you?
Who the fuck are you?
This wasn’t in the plan.
What the fuck???
#who are these lizard people are why do they want to touch us
EXCUSE YOU I’M A MAMMAL, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A SAN SHYUUM IS??
Oh and while we’re here,
@the-swords-of-sanghelios @unscarmy @officeofnavalintelligence Stop touching our stuff.
finders keepers glassed planets have bad records
we don’t even get to touch your stuff oni won’t let us
Our apologizes, we may have forgotten to mention that “touch” and “destroy” are synonymous in our language.
Can I touch your stuff, oh Holy Ones?
...Can I touch you?
You know everytime I think this is the hardest job I’ve ever had, being the PR department for a dying religion I remember that the Prophet of Truth made it my job to make Chieftain Tartarus sound appealing to the masses.
Let me tell you, that was not easy.
