The Stonewall Inn
Today's Document
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Jimmy Eat World
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EXPECTATIONS
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Kiana Khansmith
Noah Kahan
KIROKAZE
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@unterfrau
As a chronic "good heavens" sayer, and as a casual rhyme enjoyer, it's been really hard not to pepper in the phrase "good heavens six sevens" into my vocabulary. It would be so much fun to say, but it would immediately alienate both young hip people and old antiquated people and really only be enjoyed by whimsically autistic transgender women, so yeah :/
Stealing this. Will get beaten for this. Will be worth it.
Am I in too deep if I'm having fantasies about fantasies? A rape fantasy is one thing, but I often fantasize about a scene where I force someone to admit to their rape kink and then the whole thing revolves around them being ashamed and aroused and trying sooo hard to not beg for more because they're supposed to be saying, "no no no stop!" And half the fun is just breaking them down into admitting how much they love [unacceptable thing they're not supposed to love], like does that make any sense? It's not like the thing itself isn't also hot, but the process of rubbing it in and humiliating them is... well, it sure is something. Who here wanna be forced to say what they really mean so I can laugh at them?
First day since starting injections that I've woken up really feeling desire.
It feels... less physical? I've always been more of a sadist than anything, but I especially now feel like I just want to torment someone. I don't care about orgasming, or making them orgasm, I think I'd be the happiest girl in the world if I could just take a cane to the back of a girl's thighs while I have my coffee.
Switching to injections had me wishing to be brought to tears
Craving that strange violation of my consent where it feels good. Having red be ignored but in the correct way. The intrusive thoughts are strong.
To be beaten is to be loved.
She lifts my head up by my hair, forcing me to look up at her.
I squint, my head swimming, my body aching, as I see her head ringed in light, but her face submerged in shadow.
My arms hang limply, without even the strength to cradle each other.
To be beaten is to be loved.
Thinking about my limits being transgressed. Not so much blown past, by slowly bypassed. Someone drugging me, convincing me to “consent” to things that I normally consider to be limits.
Devotion
(cw: hypnotic elements, feralbreaking)
I scowled at the affini, trying again to yank my hands out of the leather and rope bindings. No good; they were firmly attached to the O-ring on the ceiling, a thick line connecting from that down to my outstretched wrists. I couldn't move from the spot, as there was a similar setup keeping my feet in place as well.
"What, that all you got? Going to tire me out from standing all day and hope I'll break?" I rolled my eyes and growled, "I'll never break."
"Perhaps you would, or perhaps not." The affini smiled, resting her head in her palm as she watched my struggling. "Fortunate for you that this is merely the beginning of what I have in mind, then."
Next came a metal rod that spread my ankles wide, cold to the touch and jangling with every kick I attempted.
"But not just to break you."
Then came her claws, cleanly and efficiently tearing through cloth as easily as air. I shivered as the air hit skin, and felt my face warm as she stopped once more to gaze at me.
"I want to show you how it feels to love me."
Yet still, she wasn't done.
A pair of strange cups that attached to my nipples.
A strange harness of rope, worn around my waist and thighs. A strange tool was attached, the tennis ball-sized head pressed directly against my...well.
A blindfold, leather on one side and soft smooth fabric on the other, cutting off any trace of light as it perfectly sat on my face.
Several injections from her vines, each one a slight prick of pain.
And finally...a thick pair of headphones, snuggly covering my ears.
There was a soft *click*, and then her voice came through.
"Now I have you where I want you. Well....almost. In a moment, I am going to leave you, but I will be turning on a few of the devices. You'll figure out the rest soon enough."
"I...what?" I was rewarded for my question with a stinging pinch on my nipples, causing me to suck in air through clenched teeth.
"That stung!" Another pinch, sharper this time.
"Welcome, petal. Are you ready for your maintenance?"
I stayed silent.
"Good! Why don't we get started, then.
"Your name is toy."
I clenched my teeth and hissed, "Fuck you."
Pinch. "Your name is toy."
I scowled. It pinched me again when I didn't respond.
"Your name is toy."
"Go fuck yourse-OW!" It was much harder this time, enough to have me twist in pain. The drugs she had given me had only multiplied my sensitivity, and even these pinches were already driving me insane.
"Your name is toy." Pinch.
"Your name is toy." Pinch.
"Your name is toy." Twist.
"ALL RIGHT, FINE!" I bellowed out, unable to keep going. Anything to stop the pain.
Silence for a beat, a moment. Then, "Your name is toy."
"My..." I swallowed, wishing I was anywhere but here. I breathed, "My name is...toy."
"Good toy." The vibrator increased in intensity, pulses of pure pleasure spiking up my spine and knocking the breath out of me in whimpers and whines. It felt too good, it felt too good.
The burst continued for a few more seconds, then lowered to a barely more reasonable level. I thrashed, trying to escape, trying to do anything, but-
"Your full name is toy Lysilla, Third Floret."
I felt it. I felt the urge to just agree. I didn't want to feel the pain again. I knew it wouldn't stop until I gave in, now.
I still remained silent.
The next pinch on my nipples tore a white-hot scream from my lips, the searing pain causing my legs to give out, hanging limply from my wrists.
"Your full name is toy Lysilla, Third Floret."
"My f-full name...oh, god...my full name is toy Lysilla, Third...Floret." I felt pinpricks of tears soak into the fabric of the blindfold at the words. I almost didn't realize I was saying them.
"Good toy."
The pleasure rushed back in a flood, the pinching and twisting on my nipples changing to soft kisses of cool soothing harmony. I moaned before I could stop myself.
"You are a toy." Why did her voice have to sound so...so nice?
"I'm a toy."
"Good toy. you are my toy." Why was she even doing this? I had nothing to tell her, nothing to offer.
"i am your toy." Fuck, I could feel my control slipping. I needed to...i needed...
"Good toy. A Good toy obeys."
"A Good toy obeys." i needed more. Stars help me, but i needed more pleasure. It felt far better than it had any right to be. my hips moved on their own, thrusting in time with the pulses.
"Good toy. A Good toy relaxes."
"A g...a....goodtoyrelaaxxx..."
"Good toy. A Good toy sinks deeper."
My mouth stopped moving, but I repeated the words in my head, and in doing so they were real. I sank like a stone, deeper and deeper down.
"Good toy. A Good toy loves its Owner."
A Good toy loves its Owner.
i felt it. i felt my heart leap at the idea of Her. Of Her smile. Of her voice. She was...She was everything.
"Good toy. A Good toy feels its love build."
It did. It grew and grew, swelling like a symphony, rising like a sunrise, Growing like an old oak tree. i needed more. Love was obedience and obedience was submission and submission was pleasure and i needed more, and so i loved Her more. my pleasure was my passion for Her.
"Good toy. A Good toy is molded to My will."
i loved to be molded by Her. How did She already know? She was just that Good. Good enough for a Good toy to love, which i did with the utmost fervor.
"Good toy. A Good toy..."
---
The headphones came off first. The harness second, and the nipple patches third.
She saved the blindfold for last. "Hello, toy."
i stared at her as one did a Goddess, as one did after seeing daylight after decades of darkness. my love for Her had blossomed, just as She had intended. She wanted it, and so it was. And it was Good.
"i love you, Miss Lysilla."
"Of course you do~" She leaned down, taking my head in her palms. i nuzzled into them contentedly.
"And toy? I want you to know that I love you too, for always and forever. More than anyone and anything else in the universe and beyond...
"Enough to ignore what you want, and give you what you need."
Oh wow hdg is insanely hot haha
no, no, it's like— imagine you're the only one in your friend group with a car. and all the people around you want you to drive them places, help them move, take them on joyrides up the coast.
but the thing is that you don't like driving. you have this car by some, i don't know, some accident of fate – your dad left it to you, or something – but it doesn't feel good to operate. like for some reason it just feels gross.
and nobody listens to you when you say that! they're like, dude, you have a car! that makes you powerful, capable, exciting, and you're like, no, honestly, i'd really rather i didn't have this, and they're like, but as long as you do, can you drive me to work? can you help me get this cabinet off of craigslist?
and you begrudge them, cause you don't wanna be selfish, and also because you sort of feel like they could ruin your life if they wanted, but it still sucks to drive, even after you've gotten good at – hang on, i'm getting there, i know this is long.
right, so then one day, your car breaks down. and it's such a relief! but everyone's like dude, fix your car, i gotta be out of my ex's place by sunday, i gotta get to the airport tomorrow, but, like... that's your car.
you control if it works or not, and now you get to say no thanks, i can't do that, not anymore, and as a matter of fact, you can never ask me to do it again.
so to your point, like, i have a strap i can use instead if that's cool,
Aaaaaaaa
I mean sure mine has never worked, but still aaaaaaa
I definitely have an abuse kink. I want some truly heinous stuff to happen to me. I want to be exploited and gaslit and love bombed.
Been craving a girl violating my consent. Ignoring my safe word, just really hurting me. It’d be so fucking hot.
I love personalization. I love stickers on water bottles and on laptops. I love shitty marker drawing on the toes of converse. I love hand embroidered doodles on jeans. I love posters on walls. I love knick knacks on shelves. I love jewelry with goofy charms. I love when people take things and make them theirs.
It’s really great when a girl asks for something so personalized that you just feel like you’re making another part of her soul.
It’s also great when a girl personalizes you (cue comedic violence sounds)
hey don't worry. if you accidentally do something wrong I'll just kick you in the ribs and sides and chest and stomach and body and kidneys and head and neck until one of us feels better. I have heavy boots and no empathy. I forgive you babe. now stay still.
I cannot overstate how much I both need this, and feel bad that I need this. It’s a constant force drawing me to a boot that is kicking me.
Trying to start some toxic yuri shit with this mech pilot, but she's well adjusted and happily married. I called her my loyal dog and she filed an HR report fuuuuuuuuck
Not permitted! Mech pilots aren’t allowed to be “well adjusted” or “normally happy” mech pilots are to be shaken up mindfucked things.
more single inaccessible non-opening windows in rooms just high up and out of reach enough to make the sunlight and the glimpse of treetops they provide feel like a joke at the unwilling inhabitant's expense
ughhh fuck im so unbelievably horny i need to get kidnapped and raped and tortured i need to be reduced to just being property a sex slave to be used and abused agh
I have these thoughts quite often.
"get off of me" < "stop you're hurting me" < [moaning and crying] < "no don't cum inside no no no"
I need to be crying while getting fucked.
I felt most loved when I was being beaten. It was one of my best experiences and it mostly consisted of being beaten.
