the princess and the queen

you can only hold a smile for so long; after that it's just teeth

[cloudabserk]

anything for my princess 🩵

[cloudabserk]

communist zohran forcing us to roast alive at 172F

[dogpuppy]

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[sawed-on-shotgun]

the human body when you use it and exist in it

[icanstillfeelyou-deactivated201]

[gardenxkisses]

Wait is he saying that or is she

[ultraviolenz-z]

Dinner with the Targaryens be like:

[mellkellyismyhero]

beetee latier came up with one singular plan ever to defeat the hunger games and canonically tried to make it work TWICE despite the fact that it literally blew up in his face the first time.

this officially makes him the world’s most accurate fictional scientist because he HAS a favorite hypothesis that he IS going to make sure works even if it fucking kills him

[longsightmyth]

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

[byjove]

ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

age 86: mysteriously disappear

[fromthemouthofkings]

age 111: Bilbo Baggins themed birthday party

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[catchymemes]

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[henstomper]

imposter syndrome is so funny like fuuuuck i hope nobody finds out im tricking people into thinking im competent by knowing things and doing them

[ozempicofficial]

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[catchymemes]

[byjove]

So many anti-science (and particularly, anti-vax) people apply their diet and orthorexia culture to medicine. That is one of the things you will hear over and over again. “I actually read the ingredients of this vaccine and it has [SUBSTANCE] in it so I will not let my child get vaccinated.” which is exactly how these people grocery shop, I’m sure. No understanding of chemistry, no research into why that ingredient is in there, what it is doing to help make the vaccine safe and effective and what amount would make it toxic to the human body. They will be like “Oh my god, there is hydrochloric acid in there! I’m not going to research into why it is in there (in small amounts as a PH stabilizer), it’s hydrochloric acid (the human body creates it naturally) and they’re trying to inject this into our children!”

[butters-multiverse]

i would almost love to meet one of these people and say ah yes i love drinking Dihydrogen Monoxide with heavy amounts of Citric Acid, Glucose and Limonene (this is a very terrible lemonaid) these ingredients are water, the sour of a lemon, sugar, and lemon flavoring

or just asking if they know the chemicals in a lemon.

[byjove]

Unironically, I saw someone say to avoid citric acid in food products (it’s a common preservative and acidifier, very safe in moderation, occurs naturally in fruits and vegetables) because it is made of black mold. Which is partially correct, Aspergillus niger produces high amounts of citric acid when fed properly BUT the mold is completely filtered out of the final refined product. SO MANY FOOD PRODUCTS ARE MADE WITH MOLD, this one doesn’t have actual mold in it, you are fearmongering about the evils of mold while it lives all around us all the time!