Thoughts from an inadequate fanfiction author
I just read a Reddit post about feelings of inadequacy and jealousy in relation to other’s writing, that clawing in your stomach when you read something that is so gripping, so incredibly paced, or simply so wildly popular (dripping with kudos, comments, what have you) that you just want to quit, because you can’t write like that, you will never be as talented, as popular, etc, etc.
It’s such a ugly emotion that I hate to even admit to it, but I just feel like so many writers need to hear this and need to know they are not alone when they’re overcome with this feeling.
The thing that has really helped me is remembering that I’m the only person on earth who can tell the stories I tell.
Every person has a history and background that makes them uniquely capable of creating what they do.
I try to equate it to music. There are indie artists whose music I adore (Bright Eyes is a band that specifically comes to mind). What if your favorite band listened to Mozart or Beyoncé and thought, I will never be as talented at composing as Mozart or as famous as Beyonce, and therefore, I will never write another song.
How sad would you be, how bereft, if the artists you love gave up because they weren’t “the best?”
You are that perfect writer, not to everyone, but to someone.
That means something. It is so difficult to remember, but it all comes back to self-esteem. You are worthwhile and your writing is worthwhile NOT because it’s the best, but because there’s only one person in the world who could write it, and there is someone out there who needs to read it. Maybe you can make a stranger smile or feel or laugh, if only for a minute, and what an incredible gift that is.
So I urge you not to dim your shine for any reason. Keep going, find your audience, get better, KEEP AT IT. The worst thing you can do is give up, because that’s the only sure way you will never be that kind of amazing writer you wish to emulate.
If you’re curious, I wrote in college, then took a 10 year break due to feelings of inadequacy after having writer’s block and receiving a lukewarm response to some chapters I posted. I decided 2020 was my year and have written 42 works (some short stories, some long ones) since January. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let anything stop me from enjoying my hobby again, and that’s why I want to encourage myself and others to feed their passions. 
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