USGA at BYU

USGA is an unofficial group of Brigham Young University students, faculty and guests who wish to strengthen families and the BYU community by providing a place for open, respectful discussions on the topic of same-gender attraction.

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Blog submissions update!

There’s a new policy for submissions on the USGA blog, and we want you as a writer! Here they are:

USGA is accepting submissions to the blog. People of all gender identities and sexual orientations are welcome and encouraged to pitch. Send an email to [email protected] with BLOG SUBMISSION in the subject line. You can send a draft or a paragraph long summary of what you would like to write. You may also specify if you would like to be anonymous or have your name displayed on the website. Don’t be intimidated! We are amateurs and gay disasters, not professionals.

Here are some examples of what we are looking for:

Personal essays about experiences with coming out, dealing with family, accepting identity etc.

Opinion pieces about issues relevant to the LDS, LGBTQ+, and BYU communities.

Guides to common experiences/problems, i.e. (https://www.usgabyu.com/single-post/2017/10/10/Steps-to-Support-How-To-Be-There-When-Someone-Comes-Out-to-You)

Items of historical interest to LDS, LGBTQ+, and/or BYU communities.

Primers about terminology, identities, issues, etc.

Before you pitch or send us a draft, you should note the following things:

Read over the USGA mission statement, if your proposed post doesn’t fit, you should consider publishing it on your own blog or elsewhere. Feel free to ask us for assistance thereby though! We want to make sure your story is heard.

We can’t pay you. USGA is an organization run through volunteer labor. If that’s what you want/need, we encourage you to apply elsewhere. You deserve to be compensated!

We are students with lives and problems too. If we haven’t answered your email, it is not because we don’t like your pitch, it’s because we are busy. Feel free to remind us if we haven’t replied in a couple weeks.

Please reach out and we will work with you. Your story deserves to be heard.

You can find our blog here.

We look forward to hearing from you!

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This is a cool thing that you can go to today! Make friends, be kind! https://www.instagram.com/p/BtO3pGYhsGs/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12ok5lybboesn

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We are attending the BYU Black Student Union meeting today (Tuesday the 22nd) at 7 in WILK 3211. Please come and show solidarity! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs8ok34BD3f/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1irbypv9zezyw

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Provo Pride is finally here! Come say hi to us and pick up some swag (at Utah County Historical Courthouse) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnwef14lhAx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=170dvv9k3x4fw

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Hope to see lots of you there TONIGHT for our charity concert benefiting @theoutfoundation ! Performers include @sssooorrrddd @gorbetron Thomas Kerr and @opaline.music (at Provo, Utah)

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Hope to see you this Thursday at our benefit concert for The OUT Foundation. Donations are greatly appreciated, but not required for admittance. 

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Join us this Thursday for a benefit concert featuring Thomas Kerr, Opaline, Sord, and Serevin Bozung. Proceeds will be donated to The OUT Foundation, a networking group for LGBTQ BYU Alumni

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Understanding Sexuality, Gender, and Allyship

Understanding Same-Gender Attraction (USGA) was formed in 2010 by a group of Brigham Young University students who wanted a formal setting to discuss LGBTQ/SSA topics. Because of the tension surrounding the queer experience within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the students chose the name Understanding Same-Gender Attraction to match the language used by the LDS church hoping the name would give them more legitimacy in the eyes of university administration.

The name Understanding Same-Gender Attraction has served us well, but for some time it has been unrepresentative of our members and of our mission. We are not simply a group that seeks to understand “same-gender attraction,” rather, we examine all aspects of the LGBTQ/SSA community. It is with pleasure that we announce our new name, Understanding Sexuality, Gender, and Allyship. With this name we hope to convey a more inclusive message to all. We welcome those who wish to gain further understanding in any of these areas.

USGA is a safe place for all sexual minorities. We recognize the diversity of the community and we appreciate your presence in our meetings and activities. Sexuality can be complicated, fluid, and a source of frustration as well as a beautiful expression of our deepest feelings for others no matter what form it takes. As part of our meetings we hope to continue our considerate conversation on the topic of sexuality.

USGA is a safe place for all gender minorities. We welcome attendees of all parts of the transgender experience and we greatly appreciate your contribution to our discussion and to our community. As part of our meetings, we hope to continue our respectful and enlightening conversation on what gender means to each of us.

USGA is also a place for allies. No matter our identity, we can all be allies to those who have experiences that are different than our own. The gay man can be an ally to the bisexual woman, the cisgender woman to the nonbinary person, and the lesbian to the asexual person. We also greatly appreciate the attendance of those who do not identify as part of the LGBTQ/SSA community. As part of our meetings, we hope to continue learning what it means to be a good ally no matter who you are.

USGA Leadership Team

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USGA T-SHIRTS ARE HERE

Just three days left to order your USGA T-Shirt! 

Fill out an order form using the link below to order a T-Shirt. 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfPmxSuXvyQg9yalWzm0Vvq7hXmHruDIJ_VzDdnqLklsQjEiQ/viewform?usp=sf_link 

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“I am so proud of myself for graduating from BYU. I’m doing it! I’m graduating. I’m moving on. Looking back, there are many things that I am proud of myself for: I am proud of myself for working as hard as I have; for growing as much as I have; for crying as I hard as I have; for loving as deeply as I have. I could regret coming to BYU, but I don’t. I won’t, not anymore. I’m proud of myself for so many things, and I can’t go back in time, so I have to deal with the fact that I will always be a BYU graduate. That is part of my story. That will always be part of my story. And since I am proud of who I am today, I can accept all the parts of my story—including the part about being gay and the part about having gone to BYU. I have been blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people, and I owe it to them and to myself to take a chance at being happy. I will stand tall, and smile, and walk into this new world of adulthood with my friends, and my family, and I will never let anyone tell me that I am not good enough ever again.” #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #mormon #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #graduate #movingon #graduation #congradulations #story #stories #pride #proud #friends #family #happiness (at BYU)

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“Most of my freshman year was a nightmare. I was at Helaman Halls and I was alone and felt like I was always being watched and nothing I did was ever enough to fix myself. I finally came out to myself, and was disgusted with myself to such an extent that I believed myself to be a mistake in the eyes of God. But things slowly got better. In a moment of crisis, I called my best friend from high school and told her I thought I was gay. She almost laughed, as if to say, “Actually, that kind of makes sense,” and told me I was going to be okay, but that she had to go, and then she hung up. That was it. She wasn’t Mormon, she didn’t know the pressure of BYU or Helaman Halls, but she understood that I needed to hear somebody tell me that I was OK. It wasn’t a big deal to her, other than that it was a big deal to me. She texted me later that evening and after she checked in, we had a regular conversation about intramural soccer and homework. Like she didn’t love me any less for coming out to her, because she didn’t. Years later, I still struggle with being open and vulnerable with the people closest to me, and she may never completely understand how difficult being gay in the LDS Church can be, but I’m on my way. She wouldn’t know it, but that phone call became solid ground for me to stand on. I realized there could be people out there who could love me, even with all of my faults and flaws and weaknesses. Even further, I realized that being gay wasn’t a weakness. There are good people out there who will love you for who you are, sometimes even to the point of not understanding why or how you could be unhappy with yourself, and who will help you learn to love yourself they way they love you. You are worth feeling happy. You are loved. I am worth feeling happy. I am loved.” #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #HelamanHalls #freshmen #freshmanyear #friends #family #friendship #loved #YouAreLoved (at BYU)

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“If I could go back in time and start over, I’m not sure that I would go to BYU again. I’ve had countless negative experiences at BYU that I don’t think would’ve happened at any other university. I’ve had positive experiences, too—many, actually. I’ve met some wonderful people and had plenty of laughs. But for every good memory I have from my time at BYU, there are six bad ones. For every beautiful moment, there are six dark ones. Out of seven days a week, if one day was a happy one, there were six empty ones. That must be acknowledged. It must be acknowledged that there is pain and suffering and darkness at BYU that only exists at BYU, and that does not need to exist at BYU. That pain and suffering is not our fault, and that must also be acknowledged. That kind of pain and suffering comes from thinking that we are broken, that we are unforgivable, that we are disgusting when we are not. Who thinks that of themselves, unprompted? We are well on our way to progress with LGBTQ issues in the LDS Church and at BYU, but until we can get to a point where we, the LGBTQ individuals who are struggling on the ground, are no longer fantasizing about suicide or praying for God to forgive and change us, we are not done.” #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #love #support #pain #suffering #positive (at BYU)

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“Something that is seldom acknowledged here at BYU is the existence of bisexuality. The few mentions of bisexuality that I’ve heard from some professors and fellow students seemed more negative than even when homosexuality is mentioned. I can’t speak for all bisexual people, but I don’t choose those I fall in love with. I can’t just decide to fall in love with someone from the opposite sex in order to avoid dealing with all of the otherwise negative consequences. In addition, not all bisexuals are equally attracted to different genders. For a multitude of reasons, bisexuals, on average, have worse mental health than heterosexuals and homosexuals. There sometimes is a lack of community among us. Occasionally people even use bisexuals as examples of how there is a “cure” to being gay. Bisexuality doesn’t contain some easy fix and it’s not confounded by coercing yourself to love someone romantically. And, despite some hardship I face, I certainly wouldn’t choose to be any different.” #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #bisexuality #bi #community (at BYU)

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“Mental Health is a big issue among LGBTQ+ youth and adults. It wasn’t until after high school that I acknowledged I actually needed outside help with my personal mental health. I (usually unsuccessfully) tried to brush off my difficulties as if what was happening was outlying. That no one could possibly understand my experience and all the complexities surrounding it. And yes, to an extent, everyone’s experience is different. But I’ve found much comfort in the fact that there are some I can relate to on some level. I recognize others may not be as fortunate as me. I’ve heard of trans friends being kicked out of housing or being stalked. I’ve heard of other LGBTQ+ people being unfairly singled out by roommates and arbitrarily reported to the Honor Code Office. In addition to the large conflicts are also the smaller net negative interactions that can pile up. It can be hurtful when people purposely avoid subjects and assume everyone is in a hive mind. It’s not exactly fun to be referred to as a political obstacle either. I can be better at listening and not always inserting my own interpretation into someone else’s experience. Though we face many of the same obstacles, LGBTQ+ individuals all have a unique outlook that warrants attempting to understand. No matter how grungy or atypical, each individual’s story offers guidance for introspection.” #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #community #support #love #listening #listen #friend #friendship (at BYU)

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“I’ve been incredibly surprised by the outreach and support from some of my peers here at BYU. Numerous roommates of mine have gone out of their way to make me feel welcome and even act genuinely interested in the many intricacies of my daily life. Some of my best experiences come from what seem unlikely sources: one time my roommate asked if I had a girlfriend and then proceeded to almost interrogate me as to why I didn’t have one. During the conversation, I was able to bring up the fact that I am bisexual and wasn’t really interested in going on double dates with him. To my surprise, he didn’t treat me any differently and even said we could still go on double dates regardless of circumstance. At times I feel as if many younger people are much more akin to dealing with some of the less finite (and more ‘controversial’) topics within church and school culture. Many at BYU even acknowledge there are problems with the culture which often chastises LGBTQ+ people, but face more difficulty when thinking up potential fixes they can make individually. One idea that I hope to utilize more myself (within and outside the LGBTQ+ community) is to face topics head-on rather than walking on eggshells. LDS culture continually breeds endless euphemisms to describe things, but when we begin saying the words gay, transgender, or queer (in addition to when raging at video games or using as a pejorative) it is then when there is potential for us to understand each other. An example of this could be simply including someone LGBTQ+ in our humor, instead of acting like none of gay culture is worth scrutinizing or acknowledging. Silence and isolation is, quite often, one of the largest contributors to my uneasiness. Many other LGBTQ+ students here have had much worse experiences than I have. I sometimes get cynical. Regardless, my positive experiences provide me with confidence that people can adapt, even if over a large trajectory.” #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #suicide #loneliness #depression #anxiety #ignorance #support (at BYU)

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“The complaint was the answer. To have heard myself making it was to be answered. [...] When the time comes to you at which you will be forced to at last utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years, which you have, all that time, idiot-like, been saying over and over, you’ll not talk about the joy of words. I say well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?” The Queen Orual, from Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #byugay #gayatbyu #queer #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #TilWeHaveFaces #answer #help #give #grow #learn #god #prayer #spirituality #conference #lds (at BYU)

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“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” - Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling #byu #usga #lgbt #lgbtq #ssa #allies #lds #usgabyu #facesofusga #byuusga #usgaatbyu #words #magic #ExpressYourself #joy #life #living #harrypotter #dumbledore (at BYU)