The Daily Texan

The Daily Texan is your news source for all things happening on the University of Texas campus. Not only will you find updates about campus events here, we have a little entertainment in the form of a gossip column and advice column. So if you have something to dish or you need help, hit us up!

[utgdailytexan]

Texas vs. Mississippi State Orange Bowl Game

Texas lost 38-41. Despite the loss, the Texas Longhorns have a lot to be proud of this season. Making it to the Orange Bowl the season after earning the national championship trophy is nothing to hang our heads in shame about. Better luck next year!

[utgdailytexan]

I'm so confused. Wasn't Marley dating Ryder? Why is she telling Finn she loves him? Is she cheating on Ryder?

This is so old news anonymous. Ryder Lynn and Marley Rose broke up over the summer. They left Austin seeming as happy as could be and returned to campus living in separate residences. I suppose I can’t fault you for not realizing that though. It’s been nearly an entire semester and Ryder hasn’t returned to his playboy ways. In fact, I don’t think anyone’s even seen him at a party this year. He’s turned into a studious social recluse. 

As for Finn...our beloved Longhorns quarterback has a fine tradition of dating nobodies. He spent freshman year tied up with some high school girlfriend we knew nothing about. He moved on to Rachel Berry, who’s only known amongst Austin’s small drama crowd. And now Marley Rose who’s biggest claim to fame is being Ryder Lynn’s ex-girlfriend. 

[utgdailytexan]

Rumor has it that the one and only Rachel Berry has a huge secret to tell. But do we know what it is though?

If the secret is her on again, off again romance with the finest running back to grace the Texas Longhorns, then…yeah, we know. And we don’t really care. I’m pretty sure the entire female student body knows just how long that will last. He hasn’t earned the nickname Puckerstud by keeping it in his pants. 

[utgdailytexan]

Longhorns - Football Record

9/5: Texas vs. Nortre Dame (W 59-20)

9/12: Texas vs Rice (W 41-10)

9/19:Texas vs California (W 34-24)

9/26: Texas vs. Oklahoma State (W 64-7)

10/3: Texas vs. TCU (W 38-14)

[utgdailytexan]

I heard our QB1 is auditioning for a musical? WTF.

You're not alone in thinking it's a bit odd. But I'm a lover of the arts, so I fully support this decision. Who doesn't love a renaissance man? I'm just crossing my fingers that he doesn't embarrass himself completely on stage. 

[utgdailytexan]

I heard Sebastian Smythe is returning to UT next semester. Is it true?!?!!?!?

This is confirmed, anonymous. 

I just hope he comes back in better taste than he left us...abandoning his post as a class representative so soon after getting it. I'm still not over it. 

[utgdailytexan]

Quinn Fabray's sleeping with Professor Goldstein. Pass it on.

Well, my friend. Ms. Fabray has gone on record to say that she is in fact not sleeping with Professor Goldstein. However, my mama's always told me where there's smoke there is fire. And isn't Quinn Fabray just a little too beautiful to still be single? 

[utgdailytexan]

Finn is totally barking up Marley's tree.

Oh really?

Does anyone remember last year when Marley Rose was a complete undesirable? And now she has half the Longhorns offense chasing after her? I get it, she's beautiful. But it's crazy how much difference a year can make. This tease about Finn is news to me, but I believe it. The guy has a track record for ignoring all of the cheerleaders trying to get into his pants and focusing his attentions on the nerdier set (a.k.a. Rachel Berry). 

[utgdailytexan]

I'm pretty sure the only reason why Hunter is dating Sebastian is because he's too easy now.

I don’t know about that. Hunter doesn’t exactly strike me as a paragon of virtue if you know what I mean. Their relationship is “open.” So I’m guessing, if anything, they’re both dating each other because they’re both easy.

[utgdailytexan]

Are Ryder & Marley dating yet?

This is confirmed, anonymous. They’ve been dating since the New Year. 

[utgdailytexan]

If You Missed It...

Last night, the Athletics Department hosted it's annual Valentine's Day auction. Curious as to who bid on who, here's the recap:

Brittany Pierce: A bit of a surprise here, but Brittany Pierce was bid on and won by her ex-girlfriend, Quinn Fabray for $150. While there were several bidders at play, they almost unanimously dropped their hands when Quinn raised hers. Could it be the entire student body is as hopeful for a reunion as I am?

Ryder Lynn: Of course Marley Rose, the non-girlfriend of Ryder Lynn bid on her beau. However things became competitive when Sebastian joined the auction with his notoriously deep pockets. Sebastian eventually won the bidding war that capped out at $325.

Finn Hudson: All was not lost for Marley Rose though. She won a night with Finn Hudson for $100. We're assuming bids didn't go very high for the star quarterback of our championship team because he's well known to be in a long-term relationship with Rachel Berry.

Mike Chang: "Best Abs on Campus" was a hot commodity last night. Bidding was competitive until Rachel Berry ended things with a $500 bid. So, uh.,.maybe she's not so happily dating Finn Hudson? We're kind of lost too.

Santana Lopez: Our resident hottie with a body was also a hot commodity this Valentines Day. Bidding got ridiculously competitive until Tina Cohen-Chang laid down the final bid of $1,025. Yeah, we've never heard of the girl either, but after a little research we discovered that she's a Studio Art major who transferred in this semester. I guess she didn't get the memo that our HBIC doesn't swing that way?

Bree Dawson and Kitty Wilde: Lastly, Kitty and Bree received what appeared to be pity bids of $100 each by Sebastian Smythe. Just goes to show no one loves a bitch, right?

If you see any of these couples out and about this Valentine's Day, be sure to snap a photo or take notes. I need material for my blog.

[utgdailytexan]

Love is in the Air, So Pull Out Your Wallets!!

On Thursday, February 12th, the Texas Athletics department will be hosting an auction at Cactus Cafe. What will we be auctioning, you may ask?

A Valentine's Day date with one of our National Championship winners or Texas Cheer Girls:

Bree Dawson

Brittany Pierce

Finn Hudson

Kitty Wilde

Mike Chang

Ryder Lynn 

Santana Lopez

More details to come but start saving your dollars because a night with one of the lovelies above is reserved for the highest bidder. 

[utgdailytexan]

Don't say that, that's mean, I would more point out how shitty he looked at the party. Did you see what he was wearing? A hoodie along with a beanie? I'd be depressed too if I didn't have what it took to get through college. Plus, according to rumor Brittany had more of a chance than he had since he had to repeat a year in high school. Personally, I think his family finally went under.

What part was mean? The part about him being a loser? Because that’s just a fact. Anyone who forsakes our blessed Texas Longhorns immediately gets put on the DT’s shitlist. Have a little school pride, son. As for his family going under…if what you say is true about his appearance, then their may be some validity to your statement. Brittany is a sweet girl, she may have been doing a little charity work between her bouts of post-breakup binge drinking. 

[utgdailytexan]

Texas vs. USC Rosebowl Game

Texas won 41-38. We're going to the Championships! The BCS National Championship Game is scheduled for this coming Monday in Arlington, Texas. Welcome the boys back to Texas, y'all!

[utgdailytexan]

I heard Mike and Sugar are living together again. How long do you give them before they hook up again? Or do you think the campus's best abs is finally going to move on?

Oh...I did hear something about Sugar moving back in. But...if they've been living together for longer than a day, who's to say they aren't already hooking up again? Mike may seem like a decent guy, but we haven't seen him dating any other girls lately, and you know how guys get. They say they have needs. 

Personally, I don't see Sugar Motta's appeal. So, yes, I do think Mike will move on eventually. Will it happen this semester? My magic eight ball tells me "outlook not so good." 

[utgdailytexan]

Looks like Brittany has moved on. She was spotted at a party Friday night heading upstairs with the college dropout, Sebastian Smythe. Let’s hope Ms. Fabray doesn’t find out. Oops.

Well. This is news. I wasn’t even aware that loser was back on campus. Aren’t there rules against that? Either way, there are plenty of ways to explain away what you saw that don’t involve Brittany moving on. Those two are friends and, not that a college student’s sexuality is anything sacred, I’m pretty sure Smythe bats for the other team. 

[utgdailytexan]

Rosebowl Tomorrow!!

Cheer our boys on as they play the USC Trojans in Pasadena tomorrow. Go Longhorns!