Uzypaws... @uzypaws - Tumblr Blog

wearing @thesilkstories , so comfy !!!!!!

+/- [28-12-14] - The Flowering

// self-portrait taken in my grandmother’s kitchen, ENG.

The loss of my grandmothers has been the heaviest burden to bear these couple of years. Neither loss was recent. However, I can’t help but think I lost them at a very critical time in my life. They didn’t get to watch me grow, nor see the woman I grew up to be. And, that hurts like hell. But being able to return home and meditate/be amid the spaces they lived and Loved me in has been incredibly nurturing. Their rooms are still flooded with their essence and I am reminded that they were too abundant of women whom, as a result, were much more than their physical bodies.

This photo wasn’t planned, by the way. Her kitchen hasn’t always been this colour. My dad had it recently painted to liven up her space. That’s all; he left everything else as is. This was my first time being in that room in over 15 years. I spent many occasions seated on the steps across from this kitchen, cracking aki (a kind of nut) with my sister (the rock we used was still there) and spinning makeshift dreidels finessed out of pen caps and indulging the smell of burning firewood fill the air mixed with her signature anyara soup. The floor, even now, was littered with empty, dusty cans of Tomapep. The wooden stool she sat on overlooking the pile of firewood with which she cooked with, still in its place. Till today, I relish the smell of firewood. Reminds me of my grandmothers.