No Certainty, Only Opportunity

hi! decided to make this blog to document my vaginismus (also LOL dating) journey!

[penny-anna]

the current twitter discourse du jour is cervical smear tests for some reason and here is my take: there absolutely is a widespread assumption that if you have a vagina and are over a certain age you'll be habituated to vaginal penetration and this is self-evidently heteronormative and sexist and im honestly amazed that more people don't seem to register it fdkjghfdjk

[penny-anna]

it's not just an issue w smear tests. was investigated for PCOS not too long ago and when i was referred for an ultrasound absolutely nobody thought to mention that it would be a transvaginal ultrasound. if i hadn't happened to do my own research i would literally have found out on the day of the appointment?? i remain baffled by this

[penny-anna]

anyway a lot of people on twitter responding to 'actually smear tests are painful for some people' with 'oh well I suppose if you have some kind of medical condition it might be painful' and it's well the thing is people with medical conditions exist in real life

[penny-anna]

oh the other one is 'well the nurse will be super nice and will make sure you're comfortable and will switch to a smaller speculum if necessary' and i'm like you must know that isn't true. like c'mon. even if all your cervical smear experiences have been positive you must be conscious of the fact that some medical practitioners are assholes about stuff like this. a more helpful statement might be 'your nurse should make sure you're comfortable and if they don't then you don't have to put up with it'.

[penny-anna]

They are doing this discourse again and as a result I have a couple of working examples of the problem described in the OP:

'speculums open you up less than sex' *loud incorrect buzzer noise* what kind of sex? Not all kinds of sex involve penetration. Why are you assuming that everyone who has a cervix is having penis in vagina sex?

'if you can have penetrative sex you can get basic medical care' ok. If I can't have penetrative sex then what??

'so all these people who are afraid to get a pap smear have never had sex?' yes some adults have never had sex. I don't know what's so unfathomable about that.

[eternalgirlscout]

a while ago I read an omegaverse fic where part of the premise was that the guy had like, abnormally long and intense heats, which as you can imagine was used for horny reasons. but it was a fairly grounded omegaverse setting as far as it goes, and I could not stop thinking "he has pornworld endometriosis and needs to see an ΩBGYN"

[roycohn]

girlypop, my womanly biology is so ovulation! my female hormones are so baby bunny coquette core. it's very strawberry bow deer lana coded to make so horny when my virgo is in subservience. and what's more moon rising phrenology than that? give peter thiel all your data.

[titimylove]

op are you ok? should i call 911??

[roycohn]

girl dinner

[v-for-vaginismus]

New game - is it a UTI or am I overly hydrated and my body is still relearning hoe to function after MAJOR SURGERY

[v-for-vaginismus]

Ahh scrolling thru my old posts - fun quirky random update! The person I was pining after eons ago is in fact my real life partner. That unrequited love actually was vvvv much requited so uh yeah

[v-for-vaginismus]

Really should change my username to e-for-endometriosis

[v-for-vaginismus]

Recovery is a bitch and to recap my goals:

day 1 - surgery day

Day 2 - goal was pee + remove catheter - aka try to get up and walk to the bathroom & go home from the hospital

Day 3 - eat actual food+ move a little around the house

Day 4 - walked 2.5 blocks outside slowly with my moms help

[v-for-vaginismus]

Recovery is a bitch and to recap my goals:

day 1 - surgery day

Day 2 - goal was pee + remove catheter - aka try to get up and walk to the bathroom & go home from the hospital

Day 3 - eat actual food+ move a little around the house

Day 4 - walked 2.5 blocks outside slowly with my moms help

[v-for-vaginismus]

Surprise!!

Had a wild journey of:

Doing a laproscopic myomectomy- aka cut out my fibroids - that turned into a abdominal myomectomy (aka looks like a c section) because the fibroids were SO bad that the:

1 total fibroids were bigger than my whole uterus

2 the biggest one was on my uterus like a fucking hat so apparently I was at risk for a hysterectomy and so massive repairs were needed on my uterus wall

3 extra fun bonus surprise of tons of massive endo lesions bc why not!!

[oceanofstarfish]

Why is it

That sex is always placed on a pedestal in he center of the universe when it comes to building any sort of romantic relationship.

What if you want to be in a relationship and never do it or do it infrequently. Where you it might happen but not as a end game. Why is that considered to be so problematic.

[permanently-sprained-ankle]

To all of us with vaginismus:

Vaginismus doesn’t make you untouchable

Vaginismus doesn’t make you unloveable

Vaginismus doesn’t make you broken

Vaginismus doesn’t make you unfuckable

Vaginismus doesn’t make you unwanted

You are loved, you are complete, and you are not broken.

[v-for-vaginismus]

Calling out into the void - anyone have bad uterine fibroids develop while they have vaginismus?? It's a fun game of did I suddenly develope endo or do I have a benign cluster of cells leeching off of me causing random pain?

[v-for-vaginismus]

Fun fact about vaginismus - transvaginal ultrasounds are a total bitch

[v-for-vaginismus]

That vibe when your period is wonky and spotty af so you make an apt with your old gyno who specializes in pelvic disorders after like 4 yrs of not seeing her/ not getting treatment and all she wants to talk about is when am I going to restart??

[aceinspaces]

I wish I could find a support group for aces with vaginismus/endometriosis. I still have debilitating pelvic pain, but I’m sick of people thinking it’s at all encouraging to tell me if I do my pt I’ll get to have sex. YOU MISS THE POINT, THATS NOT HELPING!

[v-for-vaginismus]

Wow it's been a minute.. but anyone else pause their pt vagina therapy during covid and now like??? Is it worth to start up again???

[chrysanthemumpink]

This is going to sound strange but does any other asexual person suffer from vaginismus? Like how common is it for asexual people with vaginas?

[v-for-vaginismus]

Hello!!