As I find myself sifting through memories of us good and bad
I smile and laugh, cry and shake in turn while I long for what we had.
Pushing through to another day without you having my back when I feel scared.
You took what I thought was turning into love and cast it aside, left me alone, unprepared…
It was one thing to hear you call me immature when we were dating.
Of course it hurt, but…you were almost eight years older so I wrote it off as a point not worth debating.
Pushing through as you called me on the phone and I sensed it was the end.
A break-up call, not even kind enough to tell me in person, making me wonder if how you claimed you felt was only pretend.
Who am I to say it was or wasn’t? Because when you thought I didn’t care I was writing poems about how I was falling in love.
My heart, mind, and soul though I’d found someone who would stick around, and I thought you’d been sent from up above.
Pushing through my everyday life when you, the girl I trusted most had been ripped away like a blanket leaving me cold and shaking.
My feelings made me vulnerable and the freshly made cuts and bruises made me remember my past relationship failures, this battered heart once again breaking.
Now I’m starting to heal as I confront my fears and insecurities. You’ve moved on already as I’m trying to find the courage to try and love again.
Your voice still haunts me, though, I’m not quite there. You are the ghost that stalks where I’m trying to go but also where I’ve been.
Pushing through as I run faster, seeing a glimpse of light at the end of the dark tunnel I’ve been hiding in from the world.
The small amount of hope that I knew things eventually get better guiding me through, I’m a ship ready to explore whose sails have been unfurled.