man no more than animal

davy cadwallader enthusiast 26 | M | CA

[valeffelees]

yo, i'm valen. i like books, music, cartoons, and villains.

pfp: ebbpettier nav: blog index

[black-quadrant]

Not everyone will like your boundaries. That’s the point. Boundaries aren’t designed to keep others comfortable; they’re designed to keep you safe.

[tiredaroallo]

gently reminding you that you don’t have to be certain about what *exactly* romance is before calling yourself aromantic. If aromantic feels right, you can use it. Romance is culturally & socially defined, it can be hard to explain even when you *do* feel romance. It’s impossible to pin down a definition for it that’ll cover *everything* romance is.

And if later you find that you do feel romance —that’s fine too!! Not all aromantics feel *no* romance! Even if you later realize you’re alloromantic, that doesn’t detract from your time identifying as aromantic! Identity is weird and complex and always evolving. Labels aren’t leases. They’re meant to help you describe yourself in the present, in the *now*, not 2, 5, 10, 20 years in the future.

[bidonica]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[lestatfag]

STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words “Happy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!” in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]

[noelledeltarune]

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

[noelledeltarune]

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

[vacantgodling]

i hate to be the guy always begging for money on the internet but such is life right now

if you don't know me, i'm ren/vacant/fish and i'm a 28 year old transmasculine black queer autistic person who's currently a full time student while trying to balance delivery apps to make money. last year i was let go from my job because they were trying to push me out anyway and since then i've been a financial wreck. between unemployment not being nearly enough, nearly 900 job applications and the only job i got was immediately so toxic i had to quit within the first four days, and trump fucking with student loans and education (which i'd been using to try and get by while i hopefully get a degree to get a better job) i'm just at my wits end. my partner currently has a disability hearing on 5/20 to see if they're eligible for aid but even that should we get approved wouldn't be enough to cover all of our expenses. if they get denied again then they're probably going to see about going to school and see if the school will accommodate their disabilities. we'll see.

to cut to the chase, we're on the verge of homelessness (again) and i can't make money delivering fast enough to try and make ends meet. the main thing that i can't lose is my car because without said car i can't make money at all so that's the most pressing issue.

my car payment is due 5/17 for $497 dollars. right now i have about $200 but between now and then i doubt i'll be able to make nearly $300 bucks so as per usual i'm turning to you all for help.

if you can spare anything at all, it would be meaningful. i'm trying to build up other sources of money (including embarrassing myself on the internet but that's probably not gonna go anywhere anytime soon if at all) including art commissions, substack subscriptions, and any other side hustle that i can find that actually works (because many Do Not). if you aren't able to, that's totally fine i know we're all suffering rn so rbs help.

links below, take care of yourselves.

Pay Ren Alexander using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/pinkpurgatory and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

Buy ren / vacant a Coffee

Become a supporter of ren / vacant today!

here is a link to my general pay what you want commissions guidelines. it's always pay what you want because we're all broke here.

here's my substack for my novel btaf (even if you can't pay you should still subscribe because i post funny bits of writing advice there)

thanks again 😔

[vacantgodling]

an update:

thank you to everyone who's donated, i really really appreciate it.

i was thankfully able to make my car payment <3

unfortunately we're still not out of the woods. we're waiting to hear back about my partner's disability claim. if things are favorable, yay. if not then we're kind of back at square one again and they may have to try and get a job though with the market it's like oof.

the cheaper accommodations we were hoping to secure fell through. we're still probably not able to get an apartment based on my income alone (due to rental requirements for income). we may try and finesse a place but that's up in the air and i'm wary of spending money on an app fee to just get rejected.

still no word about if or when i'll get financial aid. that's cool.

if we do end up getting trapped at our current apartment to stave off homelessness, the new rental rate is 1851 alone. that wouldn't include internet, electric, our phones, etc. like literally almost 1900 for a cockroach infested apartment. i've tried arguing with them about the rate but they don't care.

donations are still super appreciated. i haven't set up a gofundme because i need money Now and i don't want to wait and deal with the site's fees.

i'm still offering commissions, doordashing/instacarting, applying to jobs with no luck, applied for other government resources to little success (they may potentially take our food stamps too so that's cool), and have been trying to find a will to live. i don't really have one these days to be honest.

next month will be a year since this bullshit started and i just feel even more helpless than before.

thanks for your time.

[vacantgodling]

sorry to be back again but shit’s still in the gutter.

we may be looking at homelessness. my partner has applied for university and i have applied for a scholarship as well but information on money is still up in the air. we just need enough to squeak by this month and i’m hoping that we will be able to get some type of good news in june.

the new rental amount is $1851 for month to month. i wish i could move too. right now i have $1226 thanks to door dashing and all of you all’s generosity. this means i still need $625 to stay in the place we’re at for now and fingers crossed that financial aid for both of us drops in june and we can use that to move somewhere else cheaper.

unfortunately my current complex is shit and won’t let me pay online due to a miscommunication on their part in december and i’ve had to take out money orders instead. this adds a $10 whenever i withdraw money from the bank so overall looking at $635 that i still need to raise.

if you don’t have anything to spare i totally understand. i wish i wasn’t in this position and i hope no one else ever is. reblogs help. i also offer art commissions, and i have a substack where i write about my projects and writing. i’m also willing to beta read anything you have written and i leave lots of comments though i don’t have a specific pay structure for that. thank you again for your time.

paypal info in the first post.

0/635

[vacantgodling]

81/635

thank you guys sm 💛

[evilnicegirl]

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

[sydrichie]

[scramratz]

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

[maryoliveoil]

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

[valeffelees]

whenev someone asks me about my tattoo and i tell them that it's dedicated to my favourite book character they usually follow up by asking which book it is and i tell them, and then i tell them i collect different copies of the books and every time, without fail, they're always like "i think your collection needs to expand its horizons", which. one, didn't ask? two, don't care. and three, such a good try! but that's actually the exact opposite of what a collection is!

[unspecificyume]

Your f/o says "I'd do anything for you" in this very soft, very sincere voice and the implication of anything just hangs there in the air between you. You know what they're capable of, what they've done before.

[amazoogle]

tuesday status?

[cognitohazardous]

yup. its tuesday 👍

[amazoogle]

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

[were--ralph]

Hey! how make much did you make an hr on your first job and what was the job?

[valeffelees]

sometimes i'm like "i can't believe i tattooed the mage's name on my forearm" and then i remember i changed my surname to cadwallader and suddenly a tattoo doesn't seem that special anymore

[valeffelees]

me rn (i miss davy)