Who Knew?

"Life grown-ups never told you about as a kid."

[portionsofeternity]

Temple of Hathor in Dandara, Egypt 1900-1920

[vampyrechef]

Even better in person, a treasure to see

[negativezach]

Filming some more of my painting video this evening. Ignore that hideous mold line I forgot to clean on the backpack. Instead check out this #camouflage cloak. #painting #warhammer #mini #miniatures #minipainting #scifi #camo #sniper #painting #gamesworkshop #gaming #tabletopgaming #wargames #customtoy #toyart #toy (at Xaq-Industries)

[vampyrechef]

Nice detail work

[vampyrechef]

All children are artists.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

Pablo Picasso

[vampyrechef]

What if...starving artists weren’t a real thing?

When I was growing up I used to see ads for those “Starving Artist” sales.  You know “fine art” for warehouse prices.  The idea of starving artists seemed crazy to me.  How can you be talented and not make an excellent living at it?  I mean we all know Picasso’s sell for millions, and Andy Warhol made a fortune with what is basically photoshop nowadays.  But those guys got to enjoy the fruits of their labor before death.  Most Artist’s struggle most of their lives and become famous after death.  That is the consumer’s fault. Those of us who possess no artistic flare often control the very livelihood of those who do.  For example the artist Vermeer spent his life getting minimal credit and therefore minimal income, but Han Van Meegeren who faked the works of Vermeer made a fortune.  But let’s face it .....life isn’t fair.

  I sat at a Comic Convention this weekend and saw lots of struggling artists and a few that make a nice income from it.  From my point of view I got more enjoyment from the ones just getting by, then the money makers.  Then again, I don’t really enjoy “Penthouse” type art.  I enjoy the original stuff, it has the personality I want in my home.  Where do you hang the booby girl art?  I guess in your man cave, caveman.  I digress, the point I want to make, is to make art if you can. I never understood the allure of Picasso, but I am glad he made the art he wanted to. 

 You may live frugally or you may be wildly rich, but you should never turn away from your talents.  I can’t tell you how to become an artist. You either are or aren’t.  Train, practice, put it out there in the universe my any means you can.  Just remember that we need it in our lives.  That’s why Moms and Dads buy you the paper and crayons

[pensfan4lfe]

[vampyrechef]

I love that he is wearing a Ryan Miller shirt....Will now have follow another team just to see Eddy play

[vampyrechef]

Twelve significant photographs in any one year is a good crop

Ansel Adams

[vampyrechef]

Picture this

I have always believed the old saying that “a picture is worth a thousand words”.  With the right picture, no words are needed.  Which of course brings me to the point of making Photography a dream job.  There are probably as many ways to get to this career as there are variations of it.  You can go the bachelor’s degree route, or the year long certification program, maybe an apprenticeship is a possibility, etc.  It is my personal belief that just because you took an online photography course and bought a DSLR camera does not mean you are a professional photographer.  I also don’t believe just because you take some artsy shot of rusty car parts or get some high school senior to lean up against a tree that you are a professional photographer either, no matter what price tag you put on it. That being said, if you can get some sucker to pay you for it, then why not.  

Now if you are serious about the art behind it and not just the paycheck, you may want to put some real effort into it.  It is an investment in gear that depending on the type of Photographer you want to be, can be a thousand dollars to buying a lens that costs more than my annual salary. You need to practice, you need software, a portfolio-of the best you have done, not the sentimental stuff, and connections.  Being able to get yourself work as a freelance photographer is a step to greater things.  Example, if sports photography is your calling, go to high school or college games and get good at the action shots you will need.  Also, since getting in is on your on dime, it is more cost effective as a beginner.  My own fantasy is about being a photographer at NHL games, but since I find other sports outside of Hockey tedious, I could not be a “sports” photographer.  But if say the Dallas Stars want to give me season tickets, I will gladly go and take pictures of Tyler Seguin all night. 

If you want to photograph models someday, you might have to start out by taking lots of those Seniors leaning on trees or wiggling/crying babies photos first. Again, connections with people who can help you find the right “in” will be helpful.  Basically, if you aren’t a people person you might not want to make a career out of photographing them.  After all there is a fine line between Paparazzi and stalker, so be careful which side you fall on.  

Maybe you could consider Nature photographer.  Remember though, you don’t become Ansel Adams just because you know how to Photoshop.  Like I said before, there are so many types of photographers out there, it becomes the problem of deciding which thing you enjoy photographing as much as how to get the job doing it. For myself, I lack the focus (terrible pun intended), so I run around taking a hundred pictures of everything I attend, to get a few really good shots. Then again most professionals do too.  

[vampyrechef]

What if...I had a magic wand

I was thinking today about something my husband used to tell me.  He would say, “you are so cranky today, it must be time for you to get a haircut”, and he was always right.  Getting a haircut always puts me in a better mood.  It is like a reboot to your look every six to eight weeks.  Which of course made me think of a scene from the TV show Roseanne.  The customer walks into the Salon she works in, with a picture of an unrealistic cut, and says this is how she wants to look, and the stylist says “I will get the magic wand”.  

Okay so you need real training, a state license, patience in abundance, and skill, but probably not a magic wand.  Cosmetology schools are quite frankly, everywhere.  Some high schools even offer them like other trade school courses, so options are out there for anyone interested.  Most of the Cosmetology specific schools require about 12 -24 months of mostly hands on training.  Community colleges have similar courses, but will also expect you to pay to take the basic freshman courses, even though those are rarely job related.  But in their defense, no knowledge acquired is a bad thing.  Everyone probably already knows that you learn to cut, and color hair, do manicures and facials.  Sounds easy, right?  No, you have learn the science behind it too.  What shape face does a style require, the chemistry of coloring, hygiene, creative skills, business practices and the art of diplomacy.  

Opportunities to travel and meet all kinds of people also exist in this field. Many resorts, hotels, and especially cruise ships employ Cosmetologists,so you don’t have to think you are stuck in one place. Now you may not make millions doing this work, in fact the average is between 22,000 and 40,000 dollars a year, but it is also a public service industry.  After all you are saving women everywhere from “Helmet Hair” and children from “bowl cuts”.   Maybe you are the next Paul Mitchell or Vidal Sassoon, maybe you will be the Stylist to the Stars, or maybe you will be like the delightful girl who cuts my hair and just saves me from myself. Nowadays it seems like every parent is suppose to tell their kid to go to college.  I have always wanted mine to go do something they will love.  I never got the memo that learning a skill/trade was a bad thing.  I think people with actual skills are wonderful people to have around.  After all without Hair Stylists, I would have way too many “cranky” days, and nobody wants that. 

[vampyrechef]

They kept telling me NOT  to play with my food!

When you are a kid and Monday night meatloaf is boring and cream peas just don’t hit the spot you start to move it around a bit.  It is at this point, mom yells “stop playing with your food”.  It is less about the play then it is about making it seem less boring and more appetizing, or at the least to give the illusion you have eaten some.  So we grow up and learn to stop playing with the food, but why?  There is a job for those of you who love to make your food more visually appealing, more artistically presented, more enticing.  Be a Food Stylist!

If you love food, photography, style and design you could do this.  Now what does it takes to be one?  Well if you look at this position on job searches they will tell you you need to “know how to translate the perception of taste, aroma and appeal from an actual dish to a 2-D photo”.  Simple right? Ummmm no! It actually requires you have a background in photography, design, and food.  We are talking a BA in at least one of these.  Say you go to Culinary school and then realize you aren’t going to be the next Top Chef. May I just say at this point...thank god there is enough of that already.  Maybe you love to cook and make dishes look awesome.  Perhaps you have an ability to understanding lighting,and composition for photos.  You might even know how much oil to brush on a steak to make it look freshly grilled even when it’s not. 

Just as a make-up artist can turn an ugly duckling into a swan, we have seen you (unnamed actress) on (tacky tabloid),  the Food Stylist does with Monday’s meatloaf.  Working within a team of photographers, design editors, and photo stylists, they make those beautiful dishes that make us really buy the magazines at the supermarket.  Let’s face it we don’t buy those for the weight loss tips or the best sex ever article. So if symmetrical buns, preferably with sesame seeds, are your thing, or you want your burger to say “cheese” you can do this. Too corny?  

[vampyrechef]

5 posts!

[vampyrechef]

Be careful when you blindly follow the masses.  Sometimes the M is silent

?

[vampyrechef]

What if..I could have ice cream everyday?

Can you imagine a job that requires you to have ice cream everyday? One that doesn’t make you eat your vegetables first before you can have it.  One that lets you decide if blueberry ripple, or kumquat sorbet is the next flavor to hit the shelves.  Well here it is, Professional Ice Cream taster.  Or as it is referred to in the ice cream biz, Tastemaster.

Tastemaster...the title kind of conjures up a vision of some guy in a long Obi-wan type robe, imparting his wisdom on room full of naive, yet eager ice cream disciples.  Too much?  Okay, he is probably in business casual attire and alone in the testing room.  He does more than likely get to have a special spoon though.  According to John Harrison, Tastemaster, for Edy’s Grand Ice Cream, he uses a gold spoon.  This is because wooden or plastic leave a resin aftertaste that distorts the flavors.  That’s good to know, because anyone who curls up with a pint of Rocky road, after a day of working in the trenches, doesn’t want the flavors distorted.  Although, for my own purposes, if my golden spoon is dirty, I have resorted to using a plastic spork and on one occasion a small spatula.  Don’t judge...I said small.  

Now you ask, how does one pursue this noble career?  Well, first to be a serious applicant for this it probably helps to have a degree in Food Science, with a focus on dairy.  You might want to also consider the fields of Marketing, or Chemistry.  It also helps to spend some serious time in actual ice cream shops, working, not just eating.  You have to “maintain a healthy mouth”, Your diet must be bland.  Spicy foods, pungent foods, and hot beverages can effect your taste buds.  See with even the greatest sounding jobs certain sacrifices must be made.  It should also be noted that you don’t actually eat the ice cream.  It is like wine tasting, you look, swirl, coat your tastebuds, and then spit, for 4-5 hours a day.  Oh and don’t forget, lots of paperwork,and research and analysis.  After all, you are helping to create a masterpiece of culinary delight, rich with taste, texture, and appearance.

My tattered tastebuds thank you!

[vampyrechef]

Who knew--Archaeological Architect

This is it, the profession that made me sit up and think.  I knew about being an Archaeologist.  Like I said, I have had many a daydream about this particular field.  And is there a person who hasn’t at least at one point in their life thought they would love to build the next Empire State building or Sears Tower.  But the idea that people could combine the two and make one of the coolest careers imaginable, was my “Aha moment”.  

Now this isn’t a job for the “I am happy making Cs”, or the college is an endless kegger (if you are too young to get that reference, Google it) crowd.  This field requires loads of diverse interests and abilities.  You will spend years and years in the pursuit of it.  You will have to be proficient in Engineering principles, History, Archaeology, Architecture, Historical Architecture, and Technology.  You might also want to add Mythology, Latin and Greek studies, Philosophy, Applied Geophysics and don’t forget Research Methods.  There is a wonderful breakdown of courses at the Rochester University ATHS sight.

Requirements aside though, can you imagine coming upon the ruins of a lost pyramid and being the one called in to “rebuild” it?  To figure out how it was done, what it looked like, and bring to life the model.  You would get to see and analyze how they cut the stones, moved the stones, stacked the stones and made these structures that still fascinate people all over the world.  You may not get to be Imhotep (the real guy, not the mummy), but you get to have a deeper insight into what it was to be him than any of us arm-chair archaeologists do.  This is the job that probably makes “regular” Archaeologists a little green with envy.  What they know times 10. 

Of course, this isn’t just about Egypt.  This about any civilization that fascinates you.  There are so many places and cultures that have history just waiting to be figured out, and I can’t afford to get to them all.  So you guys have to find them and tell me about them and have the Discovery channel make shows about them.  In the meantime, I will keep finding awesome jobs to tell you about.

[vampyrechef]

Why don’t they tell us?

So I am sitting here lamenting over my life choices, watching a little TV, as is my nature to do, and I see a show about Egypt.  Now for anyone who knows me, Egypt is my obsession.  I watch everything on it.  I have fantasies about being an archaeologist there.  I desperately tried to learn Arabic, on occasion I still work on that, but the bottom line is I am fascinated with its history and people.

 Now, growing up in small town America and going to a high school that was less about knowledge and more about football, I wasn’t really aware of the abundance of career options available.  So, the idea that I could have actually pursued that as a career didn’t come up until I was much too old and basically financially incapable of making it happen.  It is at this point that I began to think, my High School counselors were basically useless.  Before, a hundred irate counselors start telling me what a terrible person I am for saying that, let me just reiterate “my high school counselors were”.  Yours may be/have been awesome.  I would assume by the number of fabulous jobs that are out there,that somebodies were.  I just think that sometimes we forget to tell people about the unique opportunities out there for people who don’t want the proverbial 9-5 (not that that exists) grind. Stop offering up the generic degrees. Stop telling everyone to be a nurse, doctor, banker, lawyer, computer programmer.  Those are great jobs for those devoted to making them great, and are a burden to those forced to do them for financial security.  The world needs history, it needs art, it needs people to wake up excited to go to work, it needs you to do your job well.  None of that happens if we all become lawyers. None of it happens if you aren’t told about the possibilities.  

This is the point I decided to take it upon myself to discuss some wonderful alternative jobs.  You know the kind guidance counselors don’t encourage, but a Mom who believes in you might.  The ones that are more fun, fulfilling, interesting than perhaps lucrative. but just might make someone decide that’s important too.  Next time I will introduce you to the occupation that started me down this road of What ifs.  Knowing this stuff might not change your life, but it might.  

[vampyrechef]

People who love to eat are always the best people.

Julia Child

[vampyrechef]

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go...

Erma Bombeck