@vanitytrolls - Tumblr Blog

You know what I hate? When people get pissed off when you tell them you don’t want them to touch you. Like excuse me, I don’t actually want you to touch my arm. I don’t want a hug right now. I don’t give a shit if you’re family. I don’t care if the phrase “I don’t want to be touched” puts you off. Just don’t fucking touch me.

#Taylor things

stellarsolarian-deactivated2019

THE BOY…

he’s so colorful.

alannasroleplaymemes-moved

Reblog this if you’re interested in developing and planning epic plots that intertwine our muses’ stories across many threads and further their growth as individuals.

80dy-deactivated20170426

Rokele in High Fashion? o;

vlasseblaster

Vlasse needs some sleep honestly

warrentrolls

Concept: Game grumps opening with Halfwing (grump) and Captain (not so grump)

the grep gramps

dingodad

highblood: this is my eastern phoenix drake, it weighs about 20kg and has a manipulation-class psychic mutation, i feed it only on the most well-bred of grubmeat and it has been our bloodline’s custodian for millions of broods

lowblood: these is my litter of meepmice, they’re red and fat

trolligarchy-blog

alternian culinary/restaurant headcanons bc food bullshit is all im good for

bar fights break out constantly in alternian bars, so troll bartenders have to be the most hardened fuckers ever. seriously, you gotta be able to deal with constant shit and probably attend some sort of qualifying bootcamp

most high-end restaurants are highblood-run, and only a few hire lowbloods. lowbloods usually have to work with shitty kitchen equipment (picture the kiddie scissors equivalent of a paring knife) because of highblood prejudice and paranoia about being attacked by lowblood employees

food made out of lusii is considered “the other white meat”

trendy restaurants use a lot of science bullshit in them and are usually only frequented by highbloods. lowbloods gawk at them because most of the food there is extremely impractical and is mostly a show of highblood opulence

a few culinary schools exist on alternia but they’re populated by fiercely competitive (primarily highblood) students and are so prone to student-on-student violence that little is done to prevent it. surviving a semester without being attacked is somewhat of an achievement

lowbloods are more likely to be vegetarian/vegan than highbloods because most of the trolls working in the agriculture industry are lowbloods, and good meat can be hard to come by in lower class conditions. a few “lowblood sympathizer” highbloods are vegetarian/vegan but it’s mostly scoffed in the highblood community

it’s not uncommon for a restaurant owner to invite a rival restaurant owner over for dinner, in which they attempt to poison the other. it’s actually somewhat of a tradition for competing restaurants at this point

troll cutthroat kitchen is fuckin insane, man

#headcanons

kronnoandfriends-blog

GROUP C ALL

transhumanisticpanspermia

i did the hemospectrum lifespan math. turns out, the hemospectrum is ridiculous.

as you can see from my maths sheet (with some explanations hastily added here and there,) the references I used were from canonical sources (hussie and the comic itself) stating that:

the burgundy bloods live about 30-50 human years

lifespans begin to go over a century with the greens

ceruleans can outlive “dozens” of midbloods

the fushia bloods can live a Long Fucking Time, which i quantified for math purposes

my “evidence only” chart uses only those first three canonical facts, with some guesstimates for fuchsia.

i plotted those on a chart, realized it was ridiculously exponential, then plotted the ln of the values on a chart, which you see. i then tried out some fits on the max values, and found a second degree polynomial was almost perfect.

this made a formula for maximum really simple - just use the fit formula and raise e to it.

i needed to come up with something a little arbitrary for min though, since i only had two points. so i decided that i wanted the difference in the ln of maximum and minimum age to increase either linearly or polynomially - meaning that the difference between actual maximum and minimum age would increase at a very fast exponential rate. this makes sense, because there are lots of things that can kill trolls early in their lives, but being higher on the hemospectrum does give them quite a bit of toughness. so their minimum age should increase significantly, but not nearly as fast as the maximum age.

i ended up using a cubic increase - i got that magic d#3 number by simply dividing the difference in the fuchsia and burgundy age gaps by the cube of 12, then multiplying that magic number by the cube of the index (with maximum of 12) in the actual difference formula. add that to the base difference and subtract it from the ln of the maximum age and raise e to the whole thing, and bam, minimum age. math!

as you can see, the math gave me the desired realistic result.

it turns out that in order to display the hemospectrum differences, you need four separate overlapping column charts. if you try to plot all 12, you can see violet and fuchsia and nothing else. (the obvious solution would be to display it as an ln, but then you couldn’t appreciate the magnitude of the increase! it just ends up looking nice and smooth:)

the middle chart is how many lives of lowbloods each highblood can expect to live. i.e. a fuchsia blood can expect to live the lives of 307 thousand burgundy bloods, and 11 violet bloods. if you follow the diagonals, you can see the exponential increase by the fact that the diagonals are increasing! (e.g. olive lives about 2 lime lives, while violet lives about 8 purple lives.)

transhumanisticpanspermia

some perspectives on this:

the blood caste with the lifespan closest to that of a modern human are the lime/candy red bloods. note that, in mutant form, they have the same blood color as humans.

highbloods would be extremely lonely; they would outlive most people they knew by far. to a fuchsia blood, adjusted to a human lifespan of about 80 years, a violet blood’s life would only last about 7 years. and a burgundy blood’s life would only last about 2 hours.

teal bloods are the first caste who truly begin to experience the phenomenon of lowbloods’ lives being shortened into obscurity. even a jade blood should be able to form a meaningful relationship with a burgundy, whose adjusted lifespan would be about 8 years to them. but to a teal, a burgundy’s adjusted lifespan would be under 3 years, and even a lime’s just a little over 5 years. this is notable because teal bloods are generally considered the first tier of midblood bureaucrats.

under non-sgrub conditions, to vriska, terezi’s life would last about 20 years. and to mindfang, the summoner’s life would last about 265 days.

to kanaya, rose’s life would last about 16 years.

karkat and dave would age together perfectly, with karkat starting out one year younger.

to the disciple, the sufferer’s life would last about 20 years. to the dolorosa, his life would last about 8 years. to the e%ecutor, his life would last about 102 days.

to equius, nepeta’s life would last about 205 days; on equius’s timescale, their moirallegiance would end swiftly with nepeta’s death of old age.

at the beginning of sgrub, aradia was 30% of the way through her average life expectancy (about 24 human years adjusted), nepeta was 7% of the way through hers (about 6 human years), equius was 0.04% of the way through his (about 11 human days), and feferi was .0001% of the way through hers (about 42 human minutes.) sgrub was literally fetching highblood infants.