Varian and Hugo are good christians

this is NOT a joke why would you think that, do you think that good christian morals and Jesus our lord and savior is a joke?

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

Intro Post

My main blog is @writingraccoon

Hugo and Varian feel led by the Lord to have a holy courtship and unconsummated marriage. Feel free to send in asks about wholesome activities these good Christians get up to

this blog is genuinely SFW so nsfw asks probably will not be answered, however, cursing is fine.

DNI:

No bigotry of any kind, good Christians are NOT bigots and we ARE good Christians in this house.

Please be respectful of religion/religious people, this blog is not making fun of religion and I won't answer asks that do.

EDIT: after i have received some asks, i would like to once again emphasize that this blog is SFW and I will delete asks i deem too explicit. This blog is meant to be minor-friendly so please keep that in mind! Don't make me turn off anon asks, please.

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

Idk if anyone still follows this blog but uh. Went back and deleted like half of the posts on here because of the people who sent the asks 👍 will not elaborate but this blog is pretty dead anyways so

[spacelazarwolf]

reminder that visibly religious people belong at pride. that person wearing a hijab is not a threat to you. that person wearing tzitzit and a kippah is not a threat to you. someone simply wearing an item that is culturally or religiously important to them is not a threat to you. however, your aggression upon seeing a religious person at pride is a threat to them.

[spacelazarwolf]

anyway two nice jewish boys who fall in love at yeshiva and start their own independent queer minyan. two hijabi girls praying together after celebrating their one year anniversary at their favorite halal restaurant. a sikh trans girl showing her sikh trans guy friend how to properly wrap his rainbow turban for pride. a nonbinary hindu couple getting henna done for their wedding.

[troyisabean]

I have religious trauma, like many queer people. The religions didn't cause my trauma, though, the abusive people weilding religion like a baseball bat did.

I never want to see churches, synagogues, mosques, etc recruiting at Pride. I feel like that's a step too far. I don't think I would feel better if it were a queer religious group either. Pride's where we go to be vulnerable and religion has a nasty history of going after the vulnerable.

As long as Pride's focus is still the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole, the religions of queer people certainly deserves a tiny bit of focus, however.

Maybe a multi-faith float in the parade?

[spacelazarwolf]

ur individual religious trauma does not take precedence over the existence of religious queers. go to fucking therapy instead of using ur trauma as an excuse to be a bigot.

[melancholic-pigeon]

"synagogues recruiting at pride"

Tell me you know jack shit fuckall about Judaism without telling me you know jack shit fuckall about Judaism 😬

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Kinda gross how many people are making a post about visibly religious people just existing at pride into a discussion of their own discomfort with religion.

Not every religious person you meet is trying to sell you something. Not every religious person is responsible for your personal religious trauma. Religious people are not obligated to hide away to make you more comfortable.

Visibly religious people should be allowed to exist in any space without being asked to leave, hide their identity, or justify themselves to you.

Especially when we talk about specifically marginalized religious groups like the original post does.

[stripedroseandsketchpads]

Actually I want to add @troyisabean in case you didn’t know: there are synagogues, mosques, churches etc which send groups to Pride, not to proselytize but to stand in solidarity and support their queer members. If you see some folks with a banner that says “Temple [Whatever] Stands With You” or whatever, that’s not a threat to you either! It’s a group of people, as a collective, coming out and being proud as an affirmation. If I go to Pride this year it’ll most likely be with folks from my church; we go every year with zero intent to convert anyone or even advertise. It’s no different than, say, a labor union turning up to support its queer members with a banner, except insofar as religious groups doing it pushes back against stereotypes about us being universally hostile to queer people, or having no queer people in them.

It is actually OK and necessary for people to be allowed to represent themselves as part of a community. Maybe a queer pastor wants to wear a rainbow stole. That’s not going to harm you either, and “I never want to see churches/synagogues/mosques at Pride” is still a statement that’s intolerant of religious queer people actually, even if you didn’t mean for it to be.

I say this in good faith (ha, oops) because

1. I’m sure some people don’t know and

2. Conservative Christian groups, specifically, do sometimes picket Prides or attempt to convert people, and that is unacceptable and awful.

The folks above are better-qualified to explain the issues with conflating these Christians with minority religious groups (some of whom, like Jews, do not try to convert people, period) and make out like there’s an equally-large problem of intolerant cohorts from synagogues and mosques yelling slurs… there aren’t, and that rhetoric also puts individual minority-religious queer folks and ally coalitions from temples, mosques etc at greater risk than it does queer Christians, who still benefit from Christian hegemony insofar as while there may be ignorance about us, there isn’t the kind of xenophobia directed at non-Christians compounding it.

Just, please be careful. I’m very sorry you experienced the trauma you did, and I’m glad you are able to hold your abusers, rather than the abstract concept of “religion,” accountable for that, but it seems like you still have some misunderstanding of what queer religious people, individuals and groups, are doing at pride. You’re far from the only one; this post is full of people who are similarly confused but expressing it in much more overtly hostile and cruel ways. But still. Just to be clear.

We don’t have an agenda. Any of us. We’re just doing what everyone else is doing: being out and proud and honest about who we are, and having fun in community.

[c3rises]

u kno. lgbt ppl who, despite abuse from religious family members or the church themselves, feel a strong connection to their faith and choose to be active within it are legitimately and genuinely incredibly brave

[queerleigh]

[eryanlainfa]

Me : okay so I have this one Roméo and Juliette AU-

Friend : sheesh- Why do you keep making those AUs of your ot3 KILLING each others????

Me : they're pretty when in pain :(

[eryanlainfa]

First. I am kissing you on the mouth.

Second. I have two versions. One is serious and one is not. The serious one isnt that interesting to me because its too close to the childhood friends au. But the fun one is a crackfic- crackau?- idk but I think I'm funny- because it's an ISEKAI STORY-

It would take place in the Dark Kingdom and Quirin and Alan stayed in their respective families so Varian grew up to become part of the Brotherhood (lets assume they are some sort of nobles) and Aiden grew up within the Venefica manor. Both families work for the crown here, the Brotherhood is in charge of the knights while the Veneficas are mages, so they sorta hate each others out of spite, and they're both trying to make sure the other side doesn't get TOO close to the king.

The story should go as any Roméo and Juliette stories, Aiden and Varian falling for each others and being IDIOTS, eventually leading to their own death to finally bring peace between their families.

BUT. Comes the Hugo variable. And I said it was a silly crack au. So basically Hugo comes from our world, and the story between Varian and Aiden was a random webcomic he had come accross and BINGED, hoping the story wouldn't end like the tragedy it obviously took after, but it does. Big sad. Anyway- Hugo died thanks to our beloved Truck-kun, and got reincarnated in that same story! As a very random background character-

His plan is to NOT get involved with the main story whatsoever and to avoid DYING- which he obviously fails by accidentally getting involved with not one but both of the main characters.

And that's where the story goes wrong because instead of falling for each others, both Varian and Aiden fall for Hugo. And Hugo is just there like "oh shit oh fuck not only am I going to die and they're going to kill each others again but their whole families are going to set the kingdom on fire as well- yikes". So cue to Hugo trying to set them up together so the story can follow its course and he can (potentially) live peacefully ELSEWHERE- it works but Hugo gets attached and "oh no if the story goes on they are both fated to die and I don't want that anymore-" so now he's gotta try to prevent that from happening as well.

And that's basically all I have for it. There are some silly moments I can picture happening but otherwise I don't even know how to end it yet- it could go from very nice happy ending to terribly wrong idk-

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

Why do people spread that weird toxic rumor about an evil tall Varian Anon?

Alright I'm answering this once, because I haven't before on this blog. Anyone out there who doesn't know who this is, this is the Tall Varian Anon (TVA for short). They have a weird sex thing about Varian being tall, and aren't afraid to harass people about it. They make many different accounts, and send asks asking people to draw varian tall, or, as you see here, asking why people think that there's a TVA.

This user is also extremely racist, and has used antisemitic and homophobic slurs. If you receive an ask like this, you can respond, but it'll only make the anon bother you more. Your best option is to block the anon and move on.

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

Easter One Shot!

Desc: Varian and Hugo are getting ready for Easter Sunday service. Cw: one (1) small curse word.

Have a happy Easter (or just a regular Sunday)!

_______________________________

"That's too tight, Hairstripe." Hugo commented, voice tight.

"Hm? Oh, sorry." Varian loosened his boyfriend's tie, the lime green one with rabbits on it. Hugo had gotten it specifically to wear on Easter Sundays. "How is that? Suitably loose for seducing the old ladies who serve communion?"

"I suppose," Hugo struck a dramatic pose. "How's that?"

"Well, they might fall over laughing and then you could help them up." Varian remarked, looking away so he wouldn't snicker. "A little meet-cute."

"That's what I thought," Hugo straightened his tie in the bathroom mirror. "There's a stain on my pants, dammit."

Varian fake-gasped. "A curse word? In this apartment?" He shook his head. "God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit do not care about... a gravy stain on your pants. Calm down." He straightened his own tie in the mirror, the one with teal and burgundy stripes.

"Should I let my hair down? Or leave it up?" Hugo fretted.

"I don't believe anyone would recognize you if you left it down. I think it'd be like exposing your ankles. Scandalous." When Hugo continued to fail to laugh at Varian's sarcastic remarks, he knew something was up. Varian turned away from the mirror, and with his hands on Hugo's shoulders, turned his boyfriend toward him. "Hey. What's up? You're stressed."

Hugo sighed. "It's nothing-" he stopped when he saw Varian's glare. "I just. Kind of feel like a mess. I've been in a weird place recently, you know that. And my clothes, my hair, aren't quite right. I just don't feel ready to be in church. Like maybe I should figure things out before I do."

Varian pulled Hugo into a tight hug. "That might be the stupidest thing you've ever said, Beanpole." He leaned back, looking his boyfriend in the eyes. "You know, like, the whole point of Easter is that our sins are, like, forgiven and crap? You remember that thing in... eh, what verse is it? Whatever, doesn't matter. 'It isn't the healthy who need a doctor'. That thing?"

Hugo rolled his eyes, but nodded.

"You're fine. By, like, definition. Look, we don't even have to talk to anyone. We'll go, get through service, grab a donut, then go home and watch Jesus Christ Superstar and VeggieTales while eating spiral ham. Sound alright?"

Hugo laughed a bit. "You and your ham. Fine, you win. Let's just go so we're not late, yeah?"

"Yeah." Varian grinned, then grabbed the keys. "I'm driving, the way you drive scares me. Jesus came back from the dead, but we will not if we die in a crash."

"Hey, I only ran two red lights last time," Hugo protested, though smiling as he followed Varian.

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

I did a thing

Desc: Hugo and Varian run into a problem while helping at VBS (vacation Bible school for those unfamiliar. It's literally summer camp but Christian). Warning for minor cursing, past homophobia.

___________________________________

"And... it's locked." Hugo sighed and slid down the door of the closet. "Who designed this thing? Why would a door auto-lock when you close it?"

"Why wouldn't it?" Varian had already sat down. "If you hadn't dropped the key we would be out of here."

"You're always blaming me for stuff. This isn't even the right closet! This is the damn communion supply closet, and I told you the cleaning supplies were down the hall, but no, Heaven forbid I be right."

"I got turned around! Half the hallways out of the sanctuary look the same anyway." At least they wouldn't starve, though Varian might rather starve than subsist on grape juice and crackers that looked and tasted like Styrofoam. And would it be heretical to eat and drink communion elements outside of the ceremony? Surely God would understand, like that story with David and the sacred bread.

"Uh, earth to Freckles," Hugo's annoying voice cut through Varian's thoughts. "How are we gonna get out of here? The VBS has, like, four chaperones for the middle schoolers including us, we need to get out."

"Can't you pick locks, Beanpole?" Varian had never seen Hugo lockpick, but he looked like the type to know how.

With his long undercut blond hair, piercings, alternative clothing style, and flamboyantly gay demeanor, Hugo wasn't really the sort of person Varian would expect to be a youth group leader, but West Ingvarr Methodist Church prided itself on diversity and inclusion. Varian couldn't help but think, though, that even if it wasn't a sin, Hugo didn't need to make being queer his whole personality. Varian certainly managed not to.

"I can't pick this kind of lock. I don't know the inside mechanisms of the automatic doors. And I'll thank you not to use that tone when asking. I don't why you think you're better than me-"

"I don't think I'm better than you-" Varian began.

Hugo snorted. "Could've fooled me. Anyways, I could maybe figure out how to disassemble the lock, but I don't think Pastor Robin would be very happy with me."

"So we're stuck here," Varian groaned.

"Until someone comes along and sees the key on the ground, yes. Don't look at me like that, Freckles, I'm not pleased about it either. You're stuck in a closet with someone you hate, I'm stuck with someone who hates me."

"I don't hate you. You're annoying as- as heck, and loud, and honestly I don't think you should curse around the kids-"

"They're middle and high schoolers, they've heard the word 'shit' before. Besides, I know what it is. You don't like the way I dress, the way I talk, you don't like when I talk about my homosexuality-" Hugo said the last word like he was an old man deeply offended by it.

Varian rolled his eyes. "That's not it. If it makes you feel better, I'm literally bisexual. I just don't think you need to talk about it as much as you do-"

"Freckles, what would your life be like if you had had an openly queer leader in the church when you were those kid's age? Because I'll tell you right now, mine would have been a hell of a lot better. You can keep your internalized homophobia to yourself, but I'm going to be who I am. And I'm going to be for those kids what I needed." Hugo finished and turned his head away, arms crossed.

Varian couldn't think of a thing to say. He tried not to think about it much, now that he was out of Old Corona, and two years into college, but he remembered growing up in a church very different from West Ingvarr. Forget it being unsafe to be queer, Varian had dyed a streak of his hair blue when he was fourteen and been looked at like he was the devil's child into he finally broke and dyed it black again. Eventually, fifteen-year-old Varian had decided he couldn't take it anymore, and ran away. It'd quickly gone wrong, and he'd fallen in with a very bad crowd before his father found him, and promised they would move away after Varian tearfully confessed the reason for his rebellion.

All that to say, Hugo was right. Varian cringed thinking it. But Varian had been unfair in his judgment of him, and it was the right thing to do to admit that.

"I'm... sorry." Varian finally said. Hugo didn't turn his head, but his eyes flicked over and his eyebrows rose slightly. "I think... I let my biases color how I judged you, and that was... unfair and not very 'Good Christian' of me. I... really don't hate you, Hugo."

Hugo turned his head, and Varian could see him holding back a smile. "Thanks for the self-awareness. I forgive you, I guess."

Varian scoffed. "Thanks, 'I guess'."

"Well," Hugo began, obnoxious grin on his face, before pausing. "I think I hear footsteps! HEY? IS ANYONE THERE?" He yelled, forcing Varian to cover his ears.

"Yes, ominous voice? Wait. Hugo, is that you?"

"Yep!" He replied. "Varian, we're in luck! Okay, Yong, there's a key on the ground. I need you to slide it under the door, alright?"

"I don't see a- oh! There you go!" A second later, the bronze key appeared by the door. Varian and Hugo stood up, and unlocked the door.

"Feels good to be free!" Hugo declared, stretching.

"We were only in there for twenty minutes," Varian commented, grinning.

"Yeah, but twenty minutes stuck with you? Basically twenty years."

"Shut up, Beanpole," Varian pretended to punch Hugo's arm. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

LMAO MY BAD I DIDNT READ UR ABOUT

No problem! God forgives and so do I!

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

does god support tall varian

Unfortunately there are some things even God cannot support

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

Intro Post

This blog is the evil/good twin of @hugogetsrawed

My main blog is @writingraccoon

Hugo and Varian feel led by the Lord to have a holy courtship and unconsummated marriage. Feel free to send in asks about wholesome activities these good Christians get up to

this blog is genuinely SFW so nsfw asks probably will not be answered, however, cursing is fine.

DNI:

No bigotry of any kind, good Christians are NOT bigots and we ARE good Christians in this house.

Please be respectful of religion/religious people, this blog is not making fun of religion and I won't answer asks that do.

EDIT: after i have received some asks, i would like to once again emphasize that this blog is SFW and I will delete asks i deem too explicit. This blog is meant to be minor-friendly so lease keep that in mind! Don't make me turn off anon asks, please.

[flork-of-cows-official]

burn out

[badpsychicadvice]

Internet hugs for anyone else out there dealing with burn out or other mental and/or physical issues that make it hard to interact right now

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

who tf is this varian guy

Varian is a side character from the spinoff series Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure! I'm afraid beyond that I'm not particularly equipped to explain.

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

As a married person I can confirm it is against God's Divine plan to let people who are not married fuck. It's shameful and horrible and Jesus cries real tears when it happens and since Varian and Hugo are both Christ followers who definitely don't want to make Jesus cry. However once they're married they can have as much kinky gay filthy sex as they want because that's god's will

while of course once one has committed oneself to a partner, preferably in the form of marriage, those in the relationship are free to engage in as much holy intercourse as desired, it is my headcanon that Hugo and Varian felt lead by god to never consummate their relationship, even after they were joined in holy union by marriage

Of course, that's just my headcanon! This fandom isn't real so you're allowed to think whatever you want!!!

[varianandhugodonotgetrawed]

How much wood would a woodchuck cuck if a woodchuck could cuck wood?

Oh, you've had a typo and forgot the 'h' in 'chuck'

you see, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

however, god did not see fit when creating the woodchuck to give it the ability to chuck wood, so the debate is entirely theoretical