a simple Thomist

Catholic catechumen (ex militant ahtiest), thomistic theologian in the making, traditionalist who loves extraordinary form and gregorian chant, CrossFitter, trumpeter, cat lover, monty-pythonite, Les Misérables nerd, and TF2 pyro noob. My bae is the medic to my heavy.

[tastefullyoffensive]

It’s funny because it’s true. (via masipopal)

[ricepouch-deactivated20210810]

[animeaves-deactivated20230612]

okay but no one is posting the thrilling end from this person’s twitter

they turned it into a keychain

[uglybagofmostlywater]

America is asleep quick let’s measure things using logical units

[kestrele]

oh nO AMERICA IS WAKING UP QUICK HIDE THE CELSIUS

[osmosisjones]

[eggmayonaise]

I fuckign hate seeing ppl my age be successful because I am a bitter, jealous, and untalented individual

[percyhoneybee]

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

[gender-euphowrya]

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES thanks for the tip karkat

[dwasylyshen]

My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming “IM A FUCKING GODDESS”

[indie-idiosyncrasies-deactivate]

Its true, I have been.

[munroesplace-deactivated2015080]

I did it and it was great

[lickmetilllicecreammmm]

I love this

[kitty4president]

tiny pyro pops in to wish you a swell day!!

[erikonil]

There’s always room for Monty Python.

[minafi]

It turns out the Pyro isn’t a girl after all.

Also, I apologize to everyone who had to see this.

[hummlovsk]

[redspyy-moved]

tf2 valentines to give to ur love

[textsfrom2fort]

[my-teen-quote]

[my-teen-quote]

[1000-life-hacks]

[1000-life-hacks]

[the-blu-pyromaniac]

when you hear a spy decloak

[vaticandles]

Me, in a back alleyway: u got the stuff?

a shadowy figure: yeah *hands over cute fanart of pyro