There are certain things in life that could be hard: figuring out your taxes, loss in the family or deciding what to eat for dinner.
But why make things hard in your business life when it can be easy?
Enter Dubsado.
An entrepreneur friend introduced this wonderful system to me and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Instead of panicking when a new client or project comes in, Dubsado gives me ease of mind to do everything ALL IN ONE PLACE. Proposals, contracts, emails, time tracking and invoices, all central and never to be lost again. I can be organized but anything that helps keep my chaotic world on track, I’m all in support for.
That’s the main purpose of tools, right? To make your life easier.
I, personally, have only scratched the surface of this system and they keep adding more features. Plus with the ever supportive customer service staff and the Facebook online community, the possibilities are endless.
Why don’t you check it our for yourself? Here’s my affiliate link if you’re interested to check it out.
They offer free first 3 clients trial of the entire system to see if it works for you and your business. I highly recommend that you do try it. You won’t ever go back.
I’m a digital nomad, if I haven’t mentioned that before.
Digital nomads are a type of people who use telecommunications technologies to earn a living and, more generally, conduct their life in a nomadic manner. Such workers often work remotely from foreign countries, coffee shops, public libraries, co-working spaces, or recreational vehicles. (Wikipedia)
I started my DN life last May 2018. I sold almost all I own and now live in 2 suitcases and one large box.
One of the advantages of having such a lifestyle is freedom of choice. Where and when to work, it doesn’t matter. You ARE the Boss.
I usually work out of my AirBnb. Since I am currently located in Manila, internet speeds aren’t really the best. One of the things I diligently research before I move into a place would be the internet speed because this is essential to my business. Now the new place has tolerable internet but there are other options.
Enter the coworking space.
Coworking involves a shared workplace, often an office, and independent activity. Unlike in a typical office, those coworking are usually not employed by the same organization.
I had visited other co-working spaces both here and Lisbon. Depending on the creators/owners, there can be different vibes for each place. Coworking spaces can be an off-site office where people can hold meetings or events. While other spaces are geared towards building more of a community.
Though a friend’s referral, I applied and was able to get into the Early Adopters program of #weremoteph. For a month, I have free access to their facilities in exchange of providing feedback about their services and the space. This is the second week of having an “office” to go to.
I think, at least for me, I am as productivity as I can be whether I work at my AirBnb or at this co-working space. The amenities are nice including unlimited coffee, air-conditioned area, large spaces to work at and very fast internet speeds.
But the biggest benefit I gained so far being here, is feeling the sense of community.
You see, digital nomads, if you don’t have a partner, are solitary beings. Most of my friends and colleagues are online. But outside, if you don’t have any friends in the location you are in, you could get pretty lonely and isolated. I didn’t realize this until I traveled to the Philippines where everything (and I mean everything - groceries, medicine, laundry, water, shopping stuff) can be delivered to you. I had gone on weeks of not seeing or being around another person.
And that exactly is not healthy.
I am pretty introverted and love being alone.
But there is also a certain energy being around people. There are different ideas being exchanged, there’s a sense of belonging and it feels different to interact with someone face to face.
The proverbial water cooler.
There can be gossip but since you are interacting with other people, there’s shared knowledge. There’s real life human interaction.
I don’t think anything would ever replace that.
As of now, I am still undecided on what I would do at the end of the program. They offer 24/7 access , they have showers and soon, a sleeping area. I might rarely be seen at my AirBnb now.
You can check out the WeRemote co-working space at their Facebook account here. Their website is here. Tell them Jannie sent you.
I made some changes to this blog including the new fancy pic and the new title. But documenting my personal journey from VA to Boss remains unchanged.
This week, I wanted to talk about chillax.
The past week was pretty hectic for me. I am part of an Early Adopter program for a new co-working space. I had the usual client work to do. I met up with friends that resulted in little sleep. I am participating in a hands-on learning course that have classes and accountability meetings. By Friday, body was telling me that it was reaching its limit while my brain told (well, more like guilt tripped) that I still have A TON to do including homework for said class. And on top of a client misunderstanding my pricing that got them backing out. (That’s for another post).
Saturday morning, I was out of whack. The tri-fecta was so misaligned and it was making itself known. (Mind, body and spirit).
So what do I do when I can’t figure out my own shit? I reach out to friends.
I talked to my friend and fellow lady boss, N.
We talked about the client situation.
We talked about the homework.
She told me I was STRESSED. Which I honestly didn’t even realize that I was until she put a word to it.
She reminded me to be aware of what I consume and who I hang out with.
She made me re-frame my words. How I should ease up on me. That I put all these invisible pressure on me.
Even when she told me to go relax and enjoy myself, I’d already made a SMART goal and actionable steps around it!
Yep.
I think that is how I am hard wired.
But it doesn’t mean I cannot change. I will practice the positive language and the doing. The letting go and focusing on what I want.
To be ok not to be ok.
And I won’t only be adding chillax to my vocab but actually living it.
PS
Nope, I wasn’t working when this was taken. But it is a good reminder of what I felt that day.
It has been awhile. A lot of things have happened and are continuing to happen. Awesome things like my super and empowering first solo trip to all the super stress of the 9-5 work plus finding either remote work or clients.
On this entry, I’d like to focus on the latest rejection from this client.
He was one of those that reached out to me due to the efforts of being visible in my community and networking. Saturday, we had the client chat where we discussed his needs, how I can address them and the price. One of my errors, which I did admit to him later on, was that I misquoted him my price. He was all eager to start my work. I drew up the contract, my proposal and sent him an invoice. He noticed the price changed and told him what the actual price was. This price was also clearly and transparently displayed on my website (which I suspect he never checked out). After an overnight, he comes back saying he can’t afford me.
Wow.
I actually was doing a lot of tasks for him and on top of that, taking this immense task out of his shoulders so he can focus on other things. But he won’t pay me my worth?
So today, I drowned (not literally) with wine and brownies. Friends and colleagues gave comfort and words of wisdom. I’m not really that sad about it. Sure, this client would have been nice and I felt disappointed. It is just normal and I know I need to validate my feelings are normal and then learn from it. What made me pivot from this situation was the short youtube video that I watched, given by a coach that talked about being rejected by a client specifically because of their price, “I can’t afford you.” What the coach said was, “If you agree to say yes to lower your prices, give discounts or work for free, what are you saying to the customer that can afford your prices? You’d have to say no to them because what you already yes to.”
I had to think about that. Chew on it. Ruminate. Then.
*click*
I did not go back to this client and offer him a discount. No siree. To do so would mean that I give him permission to lower my worth. Of what I need to be paid for. I said no. Besides, if he comes back at this point of the job and we haven’t even started, it can be a prediction of how he works. Would I really want that? No.
No to the client not paying my worth. This is my no to that and saying yes to my perfect and willing to pay client!
What are you saying yes to? What are you saying no to?
So had my therapy session last Wednesday with made some break through with the the way I think. I thought maybe I was triggered by the event because of the divorce. The feeling of abandonment and that I am enough didn’t start there. it came all the way back from my childhood, from my father leaving and then denying that we were his kids to my family’s lack of support, specially mama’s love only when she needs something and my aunt’s disapproval of my so called “divorce lies”. yep. Years of pain and unresolved issues.
Which also leads to more and more I am discovering that things are not being shared with me. About J and H meeting up. Would she have shared this before with me? Maybe. Maybe not. But I am trying not to get jealous. Not to feel that I am not part of her life. I am. JUST A PART. I AM NOT HER ENTIRE LIFE NOR IS SHE ENTITLED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.
My therapist told me that now, instead of being hurt, I haven’t told J anything remotely personal to me. That’s how I cope. I close off. Because now I don’t trust her to accept me (and in my brain, she does in her own way) and my issues. So I need to address it. I’ve been quiet about my own insecurities.
One image in my head that appeared was like we were both jigsaw puzzles when we both first saw each other. We fit. Now, we’re like two different pieces from a different puzzle and we don’t fit any more.
I know I have stopped with 5MJ ever since the great fall out of the depression happened. Don’t even know if things are back to normal and I think semi-normal to now. I know Pow said that when things are said, they can never be taken back. I guess that is true. I just need time. And I need to admit I am jealous of how much time they are spending together. On how I feel that she feels move alive and creative with her (when she used to be with me). I know I am a bad person not just being happy for someone that found someone they admire and can be in tune with. I am finding a way to deal with this. Not the point of dissolving my friendship with her. It has its own merits. Its own importance. But this is a distraction I do not need. It is not healthy nor productive. As another friend suggested, find your “one”. The one that cannot wait until another word leaves and publishes online. The one who really wants and read for my stories. It doesn't have to be legions. Just one. Tag and write and wait. There is that one person. That one sole person.
Count my blessings and wait. Or get busy with other stuff and writing. For I am enough.
Things I am grateful for:
1. Coffee: a better replacement to keep me going on the days that all I want to do is sleep.
2. Second chances: Because I am not a perfect human being.
3. Meditation: gives my mind to breathe.
What would make today better:
1. Beauty and the beast
2. Finish another book.
3. If I don’t fall asleep.
Daily affirmations:
1. I am enough.
2. I am loved.
3. I am at peace.
I’ll probably keep my 5-minute journal here for now so no one could misunderstand. Sometimes, the world doesn’t need to know. Not everything needs to be shared.
Things I am grateful for:
1. Friends: the one who call me on my crap and one who supports me still nonetheless.
2. Food: sustenance for my body so my mind could function.
3. Ice cream: because it does help.
What would make today better:
1. If I don’t fall asleep.
2. Start and get ahead on my business plans
3. Keep up with meditation prior to sleep.
Daily affirmation:
1. I am human, deserving of love and support.
2. I am strong.
3. I am enough. There’s no need to please anybody but myself.
But then, I do have a screwed sense of what friends are. I know what I did was wrong. Real wrong. If I was the other person, I’d hate this me too. I was awful to them. They will need time to recuperate and I don’t even know if they will ever speak to me again.
So this week, I am not posting at all on my main account. Well, probably Hiroshi’s story since I’ve started writing it and completely focus on getting my business up. I will continue to write and create to keep the creativity flowing and not get stuck in my depressive mode. Read or listen to books. This way this week, they won’t see me at all and not remind them of how awful I was. Keep the down low, right?
For now, focus on getting there, focus on the positive that I survived another horrible episode even if I might have lost good people and not to ponder so much on my mistakes but analyze and then learn.
I think ever since the holidays that seem to bring out the worst in me that I was able to overcome since I started my VA journey, tonight has been the worst I have ever been.
How bad?
To the point that I am back to that dark place where I wished I pulled the trigger that night. Back to the place where I never met all these new people, experienced new things, went to new places. That dark. To forsake all of that for the sweet release of death. Yes, thoughts of suicide again. Since I got my period Monday, I have been fighting it off. Blame it on hormones. Trying not to involve people and keep reminding myself this too shall pass. But one person, one comment just pushed me over the edge.
I am not needed anymore. I have been replaced. I have nothing else to offer this world. I am done. I want to die.
The person could have asked how I was doing but I know they were dealing with their own problems. So for someone(me) to threaten their only joy? I probably would have reacted the same. Said the same thing. But of course, it hurts. Of course, it triggered.
I wanted to say goodbye to one last person before I deleted my main blog. Would anybody notice that I am gone? Would they even care? I shouldn’t have said anything to her. Now she’s on alert. I tried my best to convince her that I am ok. Nobody wants to hear my shit. Have I not learned that? And here I was earlier bragging to a close friend that I don’t need validation. I don’t need anyone to tell me I am cool and awesome. But then again, I haven’t been told anything remotely like that (with all sincerity) and my belief until these last few years. Again, I am sorry. I shouldn’t blame people if they couldn’t see the value in me. And again, if I don’t see value in myself, why would other people do that? I hope that I have told the lie well enough, convinced her enough that I am ok. That my blog will continue existing but I am not there anymore.
if I die tonight, which will be highly unlikely, but there’s always that if, this will be my last post. Suicide is a selfish thing and for once, I should be selfish.
If I don’t die tonight, then I will survive another day.
It’s 50/50.
PS. I probably WONT attempt suicide tonight. My client did pay me so I should honor that. So I’ll send the report tomorrow and then we are back on the chopping block.
In this journey of being a VA or Virtual Assistant and developing my business, I recently got the feeling of doing a tantrum or a table flip. (Good thing my cubicle is solidly built so no table flipping!)
I felt like even if I was learning and doing, I am still not moving.
The feeling of being overwhelmed and not progressing has been nagging at me since the start of the year. It’s already February and where am I at?
Actually, as I thought about this further, I finally understood what’s going on. Overwhelm is a choice I make. How? When I think everything needed to happen yesterday and I am not moving fast enough, this crowds my brain, confuses my emotions which lead to being overwhelmed. So how can one un-decide not to be overwhelmed? Lists. I already have a journal that I started last month which details monthly, weekly and daily tasks to be done. Now to address the issue of no progress which goes hand in hand with being overwhelmed. Pretending to be busy to assuage the guilt of no progress actually is not a good solution at all. The guilt comes from the lack of acknowledgment. This coming from my own self and not from other people. You are your own cheerleader. Mine has severely been slacking off. We are our own worst critics and mine is on full blast. That’s where the guilt came from. That’s where all the frustration is coming from.
But what have I done since I started this journey?
Joined and networked with different groups.
Learned new and additional skills.
Gained confidence in speaking to the camera (although my hair always refuses to cooperate during these moments).
Learned something new about a dear friend who has been in this type of business and now, we are not only travel buddies but fellow business buddies
Opened my world to different ideas and possibilities.
Transformed my mindset about my life, my path, my career.
There are only a few of what I have done and are now consistently doing. So was I really being lazy? Being idle? Nope! I am pursuing my passion!
I have decided on my niche of supporting romance indie writers by either beta reading their books for a lower fee than a usual editor or promoting them or managing their social media. This is my business! I own it! I own my accomplishments!
TL:DR: Let go!
Side note: I am going to update this journal every Wednesday each week! Please feel free to chat with me about your struggles or stories through my ask, private message and submit pages!
I personally apologize for the lack of updates on this blog. Real life can be quite a distraction but shouldn’t lose focus, right?
I have been working. Recovering from my cold. Celebrated my birthday. Always drove safely to work during those snow storm days. My main proponent of changing to a Virtual Assistant career/ Digital Nomad lifestyle. I want to choose when I want to be cold. I don’t want to constantly pray that I will be safe to and from work. I don’t want to always be stressed when driving. I don’t want to die to go to a place where I don’t want to be. So I am building new skills, learning new habits and working on my mindset or personal goals. All for that end goal of moving. I also dealt with being overwhelmed because of being obsessed with those goals. I will save that for a later post.
I will update this blog weekly, if not more often. Because that is a good habit.
The VA program that I paid and joined for has only recently existed. Inspired by my small strides and the price, I plunged all the way in. I am aware that the current leaders do not only have this as their current income. This might not even be their main focus. But there are certain expectations of leaders, whether we want them or not. I am starting to feel disappointed. I feel that my buddy for this training was chosen based on time zone, that’s it. There were not really any other questions to determine a more appropriate one. When there was a given time frame to have this done (and I know we all have different lives and time zones), members were the ones prompting the leaders for updates. Another example was that there was supposed to be a planned live meeting for all the members tomorrow. The leader live in the exact opposite time zone where I live which is basically tomorrow (Saturday) their time. There was still no announcement and I am afraid to miss this first meeting. I have no problems staying up since this is for my future. There have been times that the members were the ones asking for some sort of update from the leaders.
I know it is only the first week. I am just trying not to get disappointed.
Sorry for the skipped day. I am actually room bound right now. Yesterday, I had a fever and took today as my time to recover.
Well, recover as much as I can.
It’s hard to do that when you are over eager and want to start right away. At least by the time I am writing this, the sore throat dissipated a bit and fever has gone, just feeling weak. I decided that even though work might guilt trip me into not going to work, I stood my ground to take one of my sick days and not push myself. With all the snow we’ve accumulated, yesterday was the most stressful drive I had to do. I almost cried. So I was not going to risk my health and life, just for work.
On the other hand, I’ve been assigned my accountability buddy. Eager to start, I messaged her. We had new tools that we needed to learn and practice. I’m no wizard at tools but I have a low learning curve. I usually pick up things very easily and fast. My buddy, on the other hand, needs more hand holding. More the fact that she wasn’t very comfortable with the English language. Our meeting today was spent more on me tutoring her on how to use the tool. I did get to know her more and at least, I know now what I could expect from my buddy. I do hate that my ego burst forth and almost demanded to be assigned another buddy. We are all learners and some learn slower than others. But it’s all just starting and I might learn other things slower than she will be about a certain topic. I need to address this attitude of mine because I know she won’t be the only person who I will encounter like this.
Well, since it is winter, it just keeps snowing. The snow hasn’t even melted from the one that dropped this past Christmas!
Snow and the cold are not my best friends. Having been born and raised in a tropical country, this year has been especially harsh for me. Dry skin, aching bones and not to mention the shorter days that does not help anyone with depression and living away from family and friends. Haven’t gotten used to it and probably never will. Also my 3rd year driving in snow. Since my job isn’t telecommute, rain or shine or snow, I have to show up to work. But will work cover me if someone crashes into me? I guess that’s what the health insurance is for. I already have enough trouble managing my own vehicle, how about the other people who like to speed in their trucks during heavy snow on the freeway?
Hence, the decision to go the digital nomad route. Not only can I escape the cold during winter, I can go anywhere at any time without waiting for my boss’ approval or counting if I have enough vacation time. It’s the ultimate freedom and the ultimate responsibility. You work for you. You take care of you. You are responsible for you. And these thoughts excite me. It’s my road, it’s my life. It’s time that fear takes a back seat.
Day 2: How to not over stress yourself on the first day
Graphic courtesy of @purplebuddhaproject
Today was sure productive!
I slept in! Gasp! Was that productive? Absolutely! I know I haven’t been sleeping well the past couple of days. A good quality sleep helps your body and mind recuperate so it is ready to face a new day! So hell yeah, it’s productive!
Today marks the first day where coursework for the Digital Nomad Tribe: Inner Circle Workshop was released. It took them most of the day but that actually worked out for me. Did my laundry, put them away, put out the trash, did some Japanese drama watching along with my rp, watched a webinar and interacted with fellow trainees before I got the full course of the week. Yep. The week. What did I do? The overachiever that I am, tried to do the entire thing RIGHT NOW! I don’t know what’s this habit I have of stressing myself out when it is not necessary. Was it for the fact that I don’t want to feel left behind when everybody actually just got the assignments the same time I did? Maybe it’s the driving force of wanting to change now. Hurry, hurry, hurry since I’ve wasted so much time. But as Gary Vaynerchuk said, it’s not a spring! It’s a marathon. Be patient. Go slow but do things with intent. One of the signals I was over doing it? Back pain was back. It’s a trigger mechanism now. A good one. It tells me to slow down. Breathe, Everything is ok. Get up and do some squats to offset those brownies. Something. Because when you rush, you miss stuff. Celebrate the small victories while keeping the big goal in sight.
So the last thing I am going to do tonight is to finish this post. Then get ready for bed. Relax. Meditate. Get some rest. Because I have done my best for today and tomorrow is another day to crush it!
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