benign & miscellaneous

elias/anthony, enjoyer of tragedies and motifs. art blog: vamberii

[vault-of-amber]

i love you unreliable narrators i love you contradictions i love you retcons i love you ambiguous endings i love you events that are alluded to but never shown i love you characters that lie intentionally and unintentionally i love you bias i love you faulty memory and mindfucks i love you manipulation i love you avoidance i love you media that radically shifts its own framing and tone based on who's telling the story i love you narratives that make you decide for yourself what 'really happened'. and last but not least i hate you authors clarifying events on twitter. i hate you.

[vault-of-amber]

no sleep for the entire night and all it got me was the most arduous and involved coffee shop au in history

[vault-of-amber]

[guy who's gone on record saying how much he hates coffee shop aus] ask me about my coffee shop au

[vault-of-amber]

no sleep for the entire night and all it got me was the most arduous and involved coffee shop au in history

[hjartasalt]

Thinking about 13 Latvias again

[hjartasalt]

I genuinely belive this is the funniest fucking thing we will ever get from reddit

[hjartasalt]

I need you all to know that I think about 13 Latvias so much that now every time I meet someone from Latvia I have to resist the urge to ask "which one"

[hjartasalt]

In the Latviaverse this is just a normal map

[wonderwall]

We finally figured out what makes Kristen Stewart smile: hot wings! The “Twilight” star posed for this amazing photo after dining at a Hooters restaurant in Texas recently. Get the details at Wonderwall.com.

[teaboot]

Yeah it was probably the wings

[hollowtones]

Favorite multiple of seven?

I usually think about other stuff.

[yakichoufd]

Both Beldaruit and Olly kept all these precious letters <3

[pukicho]

The threads of fate bind us. I need 40 dollars

[erinlace-deactivated20200503]

[bone-and-brawn]

[official-lucifers-child]

no no that’s a bop, i love it

[flightyfinch]

“Woman!” cried I, somewhat tearsome,

“Who are you to stand so fearsome

With your wavy locks of auburn hair and eyes of emerald green?”

Quoth the woman, “I’m Jolene”

[wizardarchetypes]

something terrible has befallen me....

[wizardarchetypes]

i washed all of my undies earlier. looks like rain so i needed to go grab them from the clothesline but i'm already pants-off for the night. decided "well, it's dark out and i only have to cross the horse pasture in the cedars. who will see me?" walked out, winnie-the-pooh glam, shirt, nothing else, you can imagine.

decided i didn't want to use the horse gate i usually use because the latch is such a pain. took an unfamiliar route to another gate. very dark out but luckily i can see pretty well. got distracted by a sound beside me. think it's one of the horses. turned to look but kept walking forward so i don't see where i'm going.

pussy-height stinging nettle.

[wizardarchetypes]

this is why we evolved with bush to protect us. there is damage but things could have been far worse….

[slightlydraconic]

And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, where art thou?

And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.

And he said, who told thee thou wast naked?

And the man said, well, no one told me exactly, it's just that last night I walked right into a pussy-height stinging nettle. So I thought like maybe I could invent some clothing to cover up the whole situation down there before I walk around some more.

And God said, lmaooooo oh no man I totally forgot I made those things grow to the height of a pussy. That's honestly my bad. Thou art cooking with this clothing idea tho.

[anonyymoose]

person who isn’t fond of a popular messaging app: discord is so annoying

person who dislikes inharmonious conflict: discord is so annoying

person who just listened to a song that ended on a note with clashing frequencies, hurting their ears: discord is so annoying

person who’s roommate, trent, won’t stop blasting the living tombstone’s 2012 hit from his boombox while they try to sleep: discord is so annoying

italian electrician who’s really struggling with this wire: dis cord is so annoying

[anonyymoose]

earth pony from ponyville who just got their house turned into a gumdrop: discord is so annoying

[opiumvampire]

back on the market which means my friends are trying to set me up with typhoid victims

[machine-unlearning]

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

[vault-of-amber]

cannot be silent on this any longer. i fucking hate beauyasha’s ending so bad it pisses me off to think about. whyyy do they have kids why does yasha settle down pretty much immediately why is beau completely fine with the idea of a housewife who sits home while she goes to do things even though that’s probably something she hated about her own parents. obviously it’s not the same but like beauregard is not emotional intelligence extroadinare and that’s at least the sort of thing you gotta work through instead of immediately going okay yay . and like marisha and ashley are both happily childless too so i can’t even really call it a happy ending bias im just confused. like why did they do thatttt

[witchstone]

your weird obsession with having a fully formed white picket fence found family who all speak like they've inhaled their therapist who you subconsciously want to be adopted into is ruining your ability to interact with the source material

[redstonedust]

some screenwriters dont know this but you can actually put more than one woman in your cast. you're allowed multiple of them. they dont seem to know this i assume nobody has told them.

[pealeii]

❌ “friends don’t look at friends like that” devalues friendship/platonic forms of love, pushes amatonormativity

❌ “historians will call them friends” devalues historians and forces complex relationships into modern simplicities, also devalues friendship/platonic forms of love

✅ “do they know its legal now” suggests the characters are stupid, poorly suggests that this is the only barrier to their relationship—both of which are funny as hell