My life is crazy, oh well... Come with me!

Journey through my life and the awesome people I am blessed to have. 🌻| Avid sophrosyne chaser // Philippians 4:13 |🌼

[krxs10]

[veeteedee]

1+1=?

So, You’ve broken up with your significant other and you feel loss... Me too. Great! Not really... How do you move on and still feel like you want the person? How do you look the person you love in the eye and tell them you don’t want to be with them anymore...? You don’t! I did... The worst thing about it, is that I hurt another human being. I told the person I love that he needs to move on and find a better person for himself. I know that sounds weird and it is weird!! I love him and I will always love him, but listen, I felt like I was causing more harm than I was doing good because I was creating a monster! I should be happy that this guy loves me and wants me right? Yeah, but I felt suffocated and I felt like he needed me too much and I didn’t want to be that. I knew that if we kept going at the rate we were going, I would self-destruct... Not because of him, but because I felt like I couldn’t love him as much as he did me. But, if I’m being honest with myself and to him, I felt like I was in the wrong the entire relationship... There were times where his insecurities and neediness were pushing me away and with every fight and discussion, I took steps backward. Towards the end of our relationship, I almost felt too guilty to do anything with my friends, hang out with another guy friend, or even look at another person because if I were to tell my significant other about it, he would get upset, or he would try and hide his feelings, but I knew. He felt like I wasn’t putting enough effort, time, and consideration for him, but I could drop everything to be with my friends. To be fair, we were long distance and I understand his point of view, but my friends were also long distant and when they took their time out of the rare times they came to town, I would make time and most of the time. Luckily, Father Time was on my side and I was able to make it work with some compromise and consequences, but I never made promises. However, I would also make time for him and usually it would work out, but then it got more difficult with school and work and I couldn’t promise anything. I think that hurt him because he felt like I really didn’t care or was trying to make time for him, but in reality, I was giving 110% and I also had to consider my family because I live at home... I don’t think he understood that; my family is super traditional about dating and having my boyfriend stay with me, is the last thing my parents would ever agree to. I was in limbo with upsetting one or the other and more times than most, my boyfriend lost. Yeah, that’s not a good excuse, but that’s the one that hit me the hardest’ parents versus your significant other, LOL good luck. A healthy relationship is two people working together and growing, but also having their individualism. I do not like when people become their lovers and do the same things, for the sake of having common interests and sometimes I felt that was happening in our relationship... I felt like he wanted me to be something I could not be and vice versa, we both had high expectations and I often felt like I wasn’t meeting his. That’s okay because standards are a good thing and you should want to feel enough, but I didn’t sometimes and that hurt. Anyway, I don’t know what I want after this breakup, but I definitely know what I don’t want and I don’t know where to go from here, hence why I’m lost. So, end rant and end feelings, I’m outtt. Send help and ice cream...

[veeteedee]

Looks like sprinkles of cinnamon sugar, warm butter, crisp red apples, and a touch of fire. || A new season brings fresh air and bright intentions🍂

[veeteedee]

I miss this so much. St. Kilda Beach in Melbourne, Australia || Picture perfect.

[veeteedee]

Monday June 1st, 2015

Day 1 in Vietnam! Well, back in Vietnam! I landed at 8:15AM and was home at 9:30AM. My uncle bought me a bowl of Bun Bo Hue and boy was it good. I came home and we chilled and then had lunch a little later as well as dinner. My day was mostly eat and sleep because traveling sucks the life out of me. I could not sleep enough. I am happy to be back with my family, but I am missing home home a lot more. It has been about five weeks since I left and I am missing my parents, friends, my bed, food, my bathroom, etc lol. It is the little things like having an extra bathroom, or my familiar bed, my mom's cooking that makes me homesick. I sound so spoiled, but when you grow up only knowing one thing, you attach yourself to that. I love traveling, but I quickly realized that when I traveled, it always had my family or my friends and I have neither of those and I am starting to feel it. It is not that I do not like being here or traveling, but like I said, I wish I had the people I love to share this with! Yeah, I can call my parents and my friends, but that is not the same thing at all. Anywho, I have about nine days left here and two days of traveling to get home and then I will finally be home! So, I guess I should enjoy my time here and not worry about homesickness. Good night from Vietnam.

[veeteedee]

I had one of the best experiences of my life. I have met so many amazing people, seen divine works created by nature, and stunning artworks made by man, and learned about myself and my surroundings. || I appreciate my life, the people in my life, and all the good that I have come by, each and everyday. I am thankful for the generosity, awareness, kindness, and intuition of others. Overall, I appreciate people for who they are and what they are.

[veeteedee]

Sunday May 31st, 2015

Day 22 in Australia!

Last day in Australia! Well, last couple hours because it will not be a full day…

We headed to the airport at 6:15AM, got there around 6:40AM. My flight was scheduled for 11, but it was shortly delayed. No biggie! I was not in a hurry, due to a 15 hour layover in Singapore. Which, I am currently sitting in the airport of said country.

Having the past hours to sit and think about my trip, I cannot believe I just spent three weeks in Australia. It flew by so fast and I honestly miss it. I am grateful for the opportunity, the efforts made by our advisers and coordinators, my new friends, the agencies we visited, the people we met, the things we got to see, etc. I loved all of it, it was a blast!

Of course, I am a little bit homesick, but I’ve been gone for almost five weeks and will not be home for another two weeks. I just miss my family and my friends. However, I would not change a single thing about this entire experience and I seriously cannot wrap my head around what I just got to experience! Wow.

Now, I’m heading to my “home”, but this layover is kicking my butt. I am so ready to leave! I do not like sitting in airports, ahhh!

Oh wells, it has to be done :(

To Vietnam!… In 10 hours.

[veeteedee]

Saturday May 30th, 2015

Day 21 in Australia!

Our final full day in Melbourne. We decided that it was going to be a, “Try everything” day. Meaning, we wanted to try all the foods from around the CBD that we’ve been hankering for. For me, Nando’s, a popular Philippino style grilled chicken fast food chain. Others wanted to try Hungry Jack’s, the U.S.’s Burger King, Lord of the Fries, and Krispy Kreme. By the way, they are all delicious for fast food that is. What I got at Nando’s was the 4 pieces of thigh meat, herb and lemon mixed with mild, with a a side of fries. Yummy! But, it could have been better. I think I built it up too much, but it was still good.

So, we ended our night with packing, hanging out, blogging for class, and sleeping because we all had to get up pretty early for our fights.

I’ll miss Melbourne, but I am ready to go home.

I can honestly say I think I have made some really amazing friends on this trip and I know we will stay close because these girls are awesome!

[veeteedee]

Friday May 29th, 2015

Day 20 in Australia!

Everyone was pretty tuckered out from the week, so we had a chill day. We all hung out in each others’ rooms and talked. At the end of the night, some people went out and I stayed in with others. We still had fun and it was really good getting to know about people. We took advantage of the free day, by relaxing and decompressing the entire trip. We could tell things were tense between the group members because let’s face it, 21 days with one another, in a small area is a lot of time. Then the group staying an extra week will have to deal with another 7 day with each other. However, we had a decent group and everyone was nice.

Personally, I wanted to clear my mind and prepare for the next couple days of traveling.

All in all, it was a relaxing and quite fun day.

[veeteedee]

"I'll meet you under the clocks." 💗 || Busiest station on Melbourne's metropolitan network, covers two whole city blocks, and is in the heart of Federation Square!

[veeteedee]

Thursday May 28th, 2015

Day 19 in Australia! Our last visit, which means our days in Australia are ending. We went to Anglicare and they discussed a variety of services their agency provides. The one that struck me was their TEACHaR program. It sounds like an amazing program and it should be considered in other schools. From what I understand, these subteachers come in and take over a class for regular teachers, so that teachers can have one on one time with students or go out for a few hours and help certain students that need it. The replacement teachers come in every so often and take over the whole class! It gives the teachers a chance to get that personal time with students that need extra attention, or whatever they may need. It seems like a great idea because it does not make the student feel behind or forgotten. I think all schools should have something like this. The Anglicare tram seemed informative, passionate, and enthusiastic about what they do. They were excited about their jobs and it made me excited for them and happy that this exists! There were also other programs, but this one stuck out to me. I also enjoyed learning about the temporary care, foster care, kinship, etc that they discussed. It was an informative few hours and I would have liked to learn more about the other services and programs, but we left early. After this. Half the group went to a cafe on a farm, for lunch and I went home with some others. That night, we had a final group dinner and it was fantastic! It was fun to take a breath and digest the entire month we have spent in Australia. We went to Cider House. Which by the way is one of the best places ever. The owner was our waiter and bartender and he was extremely kind and he came back and forth to talk to us. He was so nice and I definitely recommend this place! I got lamb ribs and it was delicious! We also had calamari, bruschetta, chicken wings, and a vegetable cheese plate for appetizers. For dessert, we headed to N2 Extreme, which is a place that makes ice cream with liquid nitrogen. It was so cool. It was delicious!! I loved it and got Chocolate Cookie Doh Cheesecake and will forever remember this experience. I have enjoyed my time in Australia and I will one day come back, but as for now, this is where my adventure ends. I was in a very happy place tonight and it was a great ending to our study abroad. I absolutely loved it.

[veeteedee]

Wednesday May 27th, 2015

Day 18 in Australia!

Before heading to this next agency, when I saw their website, I knew this was at the top of my list for excitement. My parents are refugees, so this organization appealed to me because I can relate to that aspect. My excitement was high for Vicseg, my expectations were high and my outcomes were unexpected, but in a great way.

We met a couple of simply amazing people. They discussed all aspects of the agency, the people they help, the roles they played, etc. There was a lot of information on their client populations and their services. We got a presentation about this information and while it was interesting, the next part had the greatest impact on me.

We watched a video on a couple of families that immigrated from different parts of the world, to Australia and their experiences. While watching, I was tearing up because it reminded me of my childhood and my upbringings. For the past couple of days, I have been fighting off homesickness and I knew I was going to bawl like a baby.

The experiences the families had reminded me so much of my parents and the sacrifices, determination, the hard work, optimism, persistence etc that they had to put in, in order for my brother and I to have a decent life was miraculous. I cannot thank my parents enough for everything they have given to me, given up for me, and my entire well-being. I think about them and it makes me so proud that they have gotten through such incredible lengths to support our family and go above and beyond to provide extra. My parents make me want to be a better person, work hard, have goals, be determined, be optimistic, and do my best.

Today, I cried in front of my peers because I could not hold back my emotions because I was so impacted by my own experiences and well as the families in the movie. Other people shared their experiences as well and it truly makes me appreciate my life even more and I am truly blessed to have such amazing parents.

After our moment, we watched another video, which settled the mood and made it calmer and happier.

We left afterwards, with full bellies, thanks to Vicseg and their generous food provisions.

Today has been one of my favorites as well as one of my favorite agencies.

[veeteedee]

Tuesday May 26th, 2015

Day 17 in Australia!

Another day, another agency! To Bouvarie Centre we went. We met the current director, Jeff Young, who was fabulous! He had a ton of insight and knowledge! We learned a lot of single session therapy, which I find quite fascinating. The research shows that SSTs works, is efficient, and people are happy. How? I guess it makes sense because people come to get their problems solved and if it is, they are happy and it is over. Simple! So why is this not implemented everywhere?

Expenses, time, reluctance, skeptics, etc. It seems straight forward and that people come once and get their needs met and they do not have to come back, based on their self-knowledge that they are set. Amazing. People actually know what they want?! Clinicians want the client to come back because they do not feel closure, but if it works for the client, it works!! What he showed us made sense and it could be a new innovative way of looking at therapy, which I find fascinating.

After our first presentation, Dr. Young took us on a tour of the offices and came back for lunch, in which they provided, then a presentation. We also met with someone else, who asked us about our thoughts and recommendations for fixing their website. How cool, they wanted our feedback!

We left shortly after and went home.

Cool stuff.

[veeteedee]

Monday May 25th, 2015

Day 16 in Australia!

Straight from a two day tour, we headed to our next agency! It was an early morning and everyone seemed a bit slumpy. I was still fighting my cold, that seemed to have gotten worse because when we got off the bus at the agency, I almost threw up. I was so tired, sick, and dizzy. LONG DAY.

We went to Berry Street, which is a child and family welfare organization, in Victoria. We got to set up a play group for young children, their parents, and foster carers. It was a difficult day because I wanted to play with some of the children and hold one of the babies, but I was sick and I did not want to pass that along. It made me sad to think about some of the kids kids having to grow up without their biological parents, whether it be for the better or worse, it is disheartening to know reasons and circumstances causes these break in families. However, some kids thrive better in foster care, than they do in their original homes because it is better. I see the good in it, but also bad. I think they need more support and more funding because I sat and listened to the foster carers discuss school financing and other things, that they could not afford. The system was against them in this aspect, but they did their best to provide the best care and nurture.

I applaud them.

We got to spend a few hours setting up play things and activities and then also spent time in the play session. We even made the kids lunch, but also we got lunch out of it. It was a fun day!

Afterwards, we sat in meeting with a couple different people. They all discussed their roles and aspects of their careers within Berry Street. Everyone seemed very passionate and in-tuned with issues they were facing and how they are tackling it. It was a good session and I liked listening to everyone’s role in each task force.

We ended the sessions and went home.

Woo, I am in the right field and this made me love it even more. There is a certain aspect that social workers need and I have not quite found my niche, but this day brought my focus to the forefront.

Yay!

[veeteedee]

Sunday May 24th, 2015

Day 15 in Australia!

Day two on Great Ocean Road!

The morning started out very early and cold! We did a meditation exercise during sunrise and although it was cold, it was relaxing and cleared my mind. I wanted to sit and watch the sunrise because DUH, sunrise in Australia, but meditation was what our travel guide had in mind. However, it was a good morning nonetheless. After that, we got breakfast; we got toasties, also known as paninies! Then, we packed up our stuff and headed down to the 12 Apostles again because we wanted to see them in the daytime, since the day before it was already dark and gray clouds covered the sky. It was magnificent! It is a lot better in the daylight. Then, we went down on the beach to see them from below and that was cool. The beach was beautiful. We also stopped at many places such as The Grotto, London Bridge, Power Creek Reserve, Gibsons Steps, George Chocolates, Loch Ard Gorge, Bay of Islands, another rainforest, a cheese factory, a whiskey distillery, and a dozen other places. I also got to try aboriginal spinach and it was not awful, but pig face was ew.

We were exhausted at the end of the day and got back late and we had to get up pretty early the next day.

This weekend made me feel like me again. I love nature and being outside and this was great. I had felt a little homesick before we left, but I snapped out and seeing all of these places made me appreciate where I am and the opportunity that I was given to be here. I absolutely love Australia and everything it has offered and I cannot wait to spend my last week here, it is bittersweet.

So, the first thing I did when we got back was unpack, then eat, then knocked out.

What an amazing two day adventure!

[veeteedee]

Saturday May 23rd, 2015

Day 14 in Australia!

THE GREAT OCEAN ROAD!! We started very early in the morning and it was a two day tour. We had the company Outback Billy’s take us on an amazing adventure.

We headed off and I was excited, but tired. The night before, I barely slept and of course, I caught a cold and a bad cough.

We hit a ton of places, such as Loch Ard Gorge, London Bridge, we saw kangaroos, fed parrots, koala spotting, meditated on the beach, went into Maits Rest Rainforest, Castle Cove, Teddy’s Lookout, 12 Apostles, etc. SO MANY BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING PLACES. I absolutely loved every little bit. My absolute favorite thing in the world is big surrounded by amazing people and enjoying a moment on a beach, listening to the waves crash down and going back out to sea, optional sunset or sunrise. I enjoy that serenity and peace and feeling ever so small looking out onto the vast blue water. WOW. It makes you feel like the tiniest thing on the planet, but purposeful and powerful. I love the way the ocean makes me feel and I loved that we went to several beaches.

Around 3:00PM, I was already tired, but our day was not over. We continued on our tour with several stops and sight seeing and then at the end of the night, we headed to our hostel. We grabbed pizza for lunch and went on our way.

We watched stars!! Another one of my absolute loves in the world. Sunrises, sunsets, wind blowing through trees, snow falling, raindrops, waves, stars, leaves changing colors, fresh cut grass, the smell of rain hitting warm blacktop, etc. Some of my absolute favorite things!

We saw the milky way and hundreds of stars, it was beautiful, absolutely stunning. I could have stayed there all night, but it was too cold.

Then, we headed back to our accommodations and rested.

WOW.

[veeteedee]

Friday May 22nd, 2015

Day 13 in Australia!

Today, we went back to the YAW Center to borrow their facilities to have a web meeting. It was with an organization called Reach Out. They are a part of YAW CRC, but manage different aspects. During this meeting, we got a lot of information about logistics, research, and delivery. It was a better representation of what research is all about. It made it less scary because Atari, the person who presented it, made it understandable and presented it in a way that made sense and in a way where the data was clearly explained. He gave us a good insight into mental health, data collection, and website development. We also met a couple other people and they had presentations as well. Overall, it was an informative meeting and I have a new perspective on research and what it can truly do.

After this, some of the group went into the Salvation Army store and shopped a bit and then we headed to the Queen Victoria Market for some goodies.

I bought a dress at the Salvos store, for 75 cents AUD, which is like 1 cent USD. I got apples and a lemon herb spice at Queen Vic Market and boy is it delicious. I ended the night with some spaghetti and then went to bed.

A day well spent and money well spent.